What is a ghost's favourite species of bird?
The scare crow!
What is the most important safety rule for witches?
Don't fly off the handle!
When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
When you're a mouse..
When do ghosts usually appear?
Just before someone screams.
When a witch lands, where does she park?
In a broom closet.
Where did they put Dracula when he was arrested?
In a red bloodcell!
Where does Count Dracula make his withdrawals?
At the blood bank.
Where do monsters go for sunset sails?
What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help around the house?
What is a werewolf's favourite holiday?
What flies through the night, has a black cape, and bites people?
A mosquito wearing a black cape.
Why did the monster eat the tight-rope walker?
He wanted to eat a well balanced diet!
What did the detective say when he solved the case of the missing mummy?
"Well, that one's about wrapped up!"
What haunts your house and honks?
Why was the student vampire tired in the morning?
Because he was up all night studying for his blood test!!!
What do ghosts like to do for recreation in their spare time?
They go "booling"!
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because coffee keeps them awake all day!
What type of coffee do vampires prefer?
Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!
Why was the little ghost sent to his room before dinner was over?
Because he was goblin too fast!
What TV show do all ghosts love to watch?
Squeal of Fortune
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetit !
Why don't skeletons like parties?
They have no body to dance with.
Why don't skeletons ski?
They don't have the guts.
Why don't witches ever have babies?
Warlocks have hollow weenies.
What did Dracula say to Wolfman after introducing his new girlfriend?
"I've always been a sucker for a pretty face"!
Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?
Because he's a pain in the neck!
What spook lives in the "hundred acre wood"?
Winnie the Boo
What did the monster eat after the dentist pulled his tooth?
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had no body to take !
Who digs the graves when the grave diggers go on strike?
The skeleton crew!
How does a witch travel when she doesn't have a broom?
She witch hikes!
Who belongs to the monster PTA?
The mummies and deadies!
When does a ghost need a license?
During "haunting" season.
What two types of music do mummies like best?
Rag time and Wrap.
What do you call a three-headed deaf monster?
Anything you like, as he can't hear you.
How do witches tell the time?
Using a witch-watch
What time is it when a monster smashes down your front door?
Time to get a new door
What's the difference between a coffin and a letterbox?
You don't know? - well, i won't send you to post a letter.
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-- Cerberus -- Guarding The Gates To Hades --