TOXIC CUSTARD WORKSHOP FILES #322
Daniel Bowen
TOXIC CUSTARD WORKSHOP FILES http://www.tcwf.rucc.net.au
Number 322, 25th November 1996 written by Daniel Bowen
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I think I've hit the jackpot. Just about every morning I walk to work
from South Yarra Station, a location frequented in the peak hours by
the Yuppies who live there and catch trains to the city, hordes of
kids heading for a multitude of schools, and people who work nearby,
like me.
In the past five days, on no less than *three* occasions, free
samples of various products have been handed out at South Yarra
Station. In fact, I didn't go through there three times last week, so
the hit rate was three out of seven; there may have been more that I
missed out on.
Let's hope the advertisers have got together with The Met and decided
South Yarra has their perfect demographic. If various companies want
to throw their free samples of So Good, various phone company
propaganda (but the free pen will be handy) and shower gel in my
direction, then so be it. I'll put up with that.
(PS. Nothing on Monday. I'm disappointed, but hopeful.)
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During this week the leader of the free world, the man who has become
a spokesman of a generation, has been gracing Australia with his
presence. Yes, Michael Jackson is in town. Not that you'd notice if
you weren't paying attention - he's only been on the news every day
this week.
What with getting married, having that ten metre high statue of
himself put up in various cities (why doesn't it actually look like
him?) and appearing to adoring fans (admit it, it could be anyone
behind that mask), the Sony publicity machine must have been really
earning their money this week.
Of a lesser significance visiting Australia this week were The
Clintons - at least, half of them, Socks and Chelsea had to stay
home.
I'd swear I spotted Elle McFeast having a word to Bill in the crowd
in Sydney, hopefully the ABC has the footage in their hot little
hands. Actually this means that we've been within a few feet of
someone who has been within a few feet of the President - we saw
McFeast (aka Lisbeth Gorr) shopping in Malvern a few weeks ago. Ah,
just a gnat's wing away from meeting the megafamous.
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THE TOXIC CUSTARD GUIDE TO AUSTRALIA
The Web site, featuring all the questions and answered published and
a form to fill in new ones will be up next week, I promise! In the
mean time, here's a bunch more questions...
Gavin wrote (and a couple of other people kinda asked):
Why do people get so excited over the soap "Neighbours"?
For those of you who have never heard of "Neighbours", good for you.
It's a daily soapie made here in Melbourne, which for some
unfathomable reason is one of the most popular TV programmes in
Britain. Nobody, but nobody in Australia knows why. But we're glad it
is so popular, because every year more of the alleged actors who are
on it go over to Britain to make their fortune. And we usually never
hear of them again.
"Neighbours" and its rival soap "Home And Away" are both curiosities
in Australia because hardly anybody watches them, but channels Ten
and Seven keep churning out the episodes because they sell so well
overseas.
Greg (not *you* Greg, this other Greg, over here), somewhere in the
United States, cheerfully writes:
I understand that Aussies are required by law to vote, and
fined if they don't. How much is the fine?
Yes, Australians are required by law to vote, although exceptions are
made if you really can't, for instance if you've been stuck two years
overseas in a jungle somewhere in deepest South America unable to
move because there's one of those huge snakes wrapped completely
around your body trying to strangle you, and anyway you didn't even
know there was an election, honest Your Honour.
The fine is about fifty dollars. According to recent newspaper
reports, around thirty people decided they hated democracy so much
that not only did they not vote, they preferred to spend time in jail
rather than pay the fine. I hope they all had a really miserable
time.
Alex of Cleveland, USA wrote:
I am considering moving to Melbourne to pursue a career
interest. What wonderful things will I experience in your
fair city...?
Alas, many of the sights mentioned in the Tour Of Melbourne way back
in TCWF 147 are no longer around. (The odd thin woman is still
around, but she's odder than ever, and she's got a new coat.)
There's still plenty to see...
GAZE AMAZED at the humungous Crown Casino construction site and
wonder if they'll really solve all those hassles with the
foundations, or will it just roll over and sink into the swamp one
day with a full load of gamblers on board?
TRY and work out if they had put the ten metre Michael Jackson statue
in the city square, would it be taller or shorter than the Burke and
Wills statue?
CHECK OUT the very groovy decorations on the RMIT buildings at the
top of Swanston Street!
COUNT the number of not-quite-working-yet ticket machines at city
loop railway stations!
SPOT the men surreptitiously entering or leaving the porno cinemas!
WORK OUT just how many Mcdonalds they can fit into the CBD!
GUESS how sick the shop assistants in Melbourne Central are of that
big Waltzing Matilda clock that goes off every hour, on the hour,
seven days a week!
CLIMB to the top of the bit of the library sticking out of the ground
outside the Museum!
SQUEEZE your way onto a southbound St Kilda Road tram during the
morning peak hour (if you can!)
and finally... ATTEMPT to visit every one of the three hundred
million Sunday arts and crafts markets within a ten kilometre radius
of the City on a single day!
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Toxic Custard Workshop Files - http://www.tcwf.rucc.net.au - is
copyright (c) 1996 Daniel Bowen. Excerpts may be distributed without
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--
Daniel Bowen, Melbourne, Australia-----------------Where "Neighbours" is made
Work: dbo...@cpe.com.au---> Advance Training Technology Pty Ltd--------------
Play: dbo...@rucc.net.au / dbo...@gnu.ai.mit.edu----TCWF: tc...@gnu.ai.mit.edu