Pentium Humor
Glenn E. Lanier
From sjre...@eng.auburn.edu Thu Dec 1 10:17:20 1994
Date: Wed, 30 Nov 1994 15:25:26 -0600
From: Stan Reeves <sjre...@eng.auburn.edu>
TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM
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9.9999973251 It's a *FLAW*, not a Bug
8.9999163362 It's Close Enough, We Say So
7.9999414610 Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
6.9999831538 You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
5.9999835137 Redefining the PC -- and Mathematics As Well
4.9999999021 We Fixed It, Really
3.9998245917 Division Considered Harmful
2.9991523619 Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
1.9999103517 We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
0.9999999998 The Errata Inside
From sjre...@eng.auburn.edu Thu Dec 1 10:17:26 1994
Date: Wed, 30 Nov 1994 22:02:01 -0600
From: Stan Reeves <sjre...@eng.auburn.edu>
Q&A: THE PENTIUM FDIV BUG
Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant?
A: A mad scientist.
Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on
Pentiums?
A: The warning label.
Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?
A: Successive approximations.
Q: Complete the following word analogy: Add is to Subtract as Multiply
is to:
1) Divide
2) ROUND
3) RANDOM
4) On a Pentium, all of the above
A: Number 4.
Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?
A: "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)
Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got
585.999983605.
Q: According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE standards 754
and 854 for floating point arithmetic. If you fly in aircraft
designed using a Pentium, what is the correct pronunciation of "IEEE"?
A: Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Glenn Lanier II Preferred: lan...@eng.auburn.edu |
| 04 CS Alternate: lan...@mail.auburn.edu |
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| United States of America: CONNECT 4 July 1776, NO CARRIER 8 Nov 1994 |
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Heinrich Goetz
: Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
: A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.
How many Microsoft technicians do you need to screw in a light bulb?
None. Bill Gates will just define a new standard: Darkness (tm)
GH Inc.
Sandra Milne
How many O/S 2 users does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Why do you need light when you have Warp?
Dayna.
Oh sure! But what's the speed of dark?
laforge
> >: Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
> >: A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.
>
> >How many Microsoft technicians do you need to screw in a light bulb?
> >None. Bill Gates will just define a new standard: Darkness (tm)
>
> How many O/S 2 users does it take to change a lightbulb?
> None. Why do you need light when you have Warp?
How many computer scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.
(Got that from my professor...just in case he's reading this..:)
________________________________________________________________________________
bau...@cs.arizona.edu bau...@gas.uug.arizona.edu
laf...@trek.gen.paramount.pic oper...@tram.train.trolley.ga
"It's a dog eat dog world and i gotta be the one with the scooper?"
(hey, i like that one...just made it up..:)
-- ]|)
________________________________________________________________________________
Andrew Fraser
The Pentium FDIV bug.
So what _did_ you think the processor upgrade socket was for??
-Andy
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Andy Fraser | The 24th century, where the United Federation
afr...@hookup.net | of Planets live in peace, but warp cores are
7130...@compuserve.com | always breaching.
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bda...@awadi.com.au
Has this got something to do with a broach fashioned out of pure 'green'.
(With apologies to Blackadder).
Brian Davies
#include <disclaimer.h>
#include <funny_sig.h>
Matt Stern
The answer is obviously _six_:
1 to hold the bulb
1 to check the answer
1 to call Intel for a replacement
1 to write a report on why they need it replaced
1 to hire an attorney
1 to get funding to pay the attorney
Now _that's_ the _real_ world!!!
--
:-}>
Matthew H. Stern, CDP / Comprehensive Computer Services Inc.
Guy Carpenter
>Can't _any_ of you people do Pentium Math? <g>
>The answer is obviously _six_:
I called Intel and they told me it didn't matter - apparently the
mean probability of any individual actually being in that room after
dark is less than 1 in 9 billion, so the bulb doesn't need to be
changed! Good thinking hey!
Guy.
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Jay Cassidy
> I called Intel and they told me it didn't matter - apparently the
> mean probability of any individual actually being in that room after
> dark is less than 1 in 9 billion, so the bulb doesn't need to be
> changed! Good thinking hey!
The funniest thing about this whole Pentium flap is that people will keep
on using the damn things! They forget about the PowerPC chip which never
had these problems, and it's faster to boot...
[Not a Motorola employee]
--
Ian Staples
>The funniest thing about this whole Pentium flap is that people will keep
>on using the damn things! They forget about the PowerPC chip which never
>had these problems, and it's faster to boot...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Doesn't it depend a lot on what you've got in your CONFIG.SYS ? ;-)
Cheers, Ian S.
--
Ian Staples E-mail : ia...@dpi.qld.gov.au
c/- P.O. Box 1054 MAREEBA Phone : +61 (0)70 921 555 Home 924 847
Queensland Australia 4880 Fax : +61 (0)70 923 593 " " "