recommended reading
Srinivas Mulugu
an article written by a friend of mine and Swati's - Harvinder Kaur
who is currently based in Pondy. This article appeared in Life
Positive magazine...
You can visit Harry's blog at : http://www.explorewithin.blogspot.com/
for other articles..
regards,
Srinivas
Winds of change
==============
I’m sitting at the sea-shore at Pondicherry. There are big boulders
placed where waves come crashing again and again leaving melting
patterns of foam which again become waves that crash. And so it goes
on. It’s never still, the sea. Never! A ‘calm’ sea, simply means the
waves and movement are something we humans can handle. It’s not a
tsunami, that’s all!
So much like life. It’s never still. Never! Or it wouldn’t be life.
Stasis is an illusion of the mind. So long as life is, change is
inevitable. The earth rotates and revolves as do the other planets and
other cosmic bodies. In the womb of the earth, there is the movement
of life. On the canvas the sky, various forces sweep their strokes. It
is there in our hearts where emotions run like water, changing their
form, but flowing…
Change is not a sudden, though it may appear to be so sometimes… It
usually begins with a whisper, mostly unheard, like the delicate
flutter of a butterfly’s wings. If you do hear it, it’s only to ignore
it. Till it changes to a roar! It manifests as a distinct event or
happening at times – a marriage, a change of job, shifting places,
meeting new people, a break up, an illness, learning something new. A
change is a realization of an ‘isness’ at a certain level. It is an
external manifestation of an internal movement. Within the individual
and outside too in the world or society at large, we live in a
whirlpool of movement. The mind is like a moving kaleidoscope of
thought patterns inter-spread with emotional spaces.
External change is a culmination point. It is when a process announces
its presence, or a certain movement manifests a phenomenon that has
been going on. Change is not arbitrary. The heart doesn’t have an
attack for an arbitrary reason, those arteries have been clogging for
quite some time! Divorce is not a sudden volcanic eruption, emotions,
thoughts, differences have been simmering for long. Even when it is a
fast and furious relationship, the personalities of the individuals
concerned take a long time to form. Yet the manifestation of change
sometimes has a degree of wonder or shock attached to it. You may be
preparing for marriage for long, but finally a wedding day marks a
change. A girl has looked forward to growing up and then one day she
has her periods! The baby has been growing in the womb, but then a day
arrives when it is born. Change! The cells are disintegrating but one
day death happens. Change! Of course not all changes are conspicuous
or measurable or tangible. Sometimes it is a falling of something, a
letting go, like of anger, or possessiveness. I’ve seen angry young
men become incredibly soft hearted grandfathers, and restless young
girls become calm, serene, and wise women. It’s not a change you’ll
notice the same way you’d notice a huge building or a grand wedding,
or an economic splash (or a world war!).
There are some of us, who make changes easily, almost crave them,
while for others change is frightful, or has no lure. Not all movement
leads to positive change or growth, mind you! You can go round like a
broken record and produce no music. If the rolling stone gathers no
moss and stagnant waters stink, then what is the right course? How
does one recognize that the time is ripe to make a switch? I can speak
for myself. For me it has been a ripening, an inner feeling that grows
and grows till it becomes so strong that it cannot be ignored. At
times my body has recognized and responded to an energy shift faster
than my mind, and I’m plagued by breathlessness or aches and pains
which seem to have no physical origin or explanation. While the left
side of my head loses itself to syllogisms, the right side of my head
has already spoken to my body. This force literally forces me to
change. It is different from a desire, it is like an inner
inevitability. To suppress or ignore it would be to live a lie.
Usually it begins with an idea, often borne of discontent or
dissatisfaction of the present situation, then it takes a form, a
vision – perhaps it would be better if we could do it like this. If
the current situation doesn’t permit this, I start searching for how
it can be done, or at least come nearest to it. Like when I first
started teaching as a young teacher, I felt education should mean
freedom for the child, it must be more meaningful and deeper, where
the emotional fabric of the child is deeply affected and transformed,
not a perfunctory scratching of the surface. It should mean growth for
the teacher too. I quit my job, wondered and searched for something
‘different’. Then I stumbled over a very different kind of educational
institution one without uniforms or rigidity where education touched
the whole being of the child and sought to transform it. Where
teachers could introspect and grow. There was a catch though, there
was no salary, you had to work for free but would be given board and
lodging. I did, and have lived to look back on that period as one of
the most meaningful periods of my life.
If movement is a constant why are we afraid of change so often?
Patterns and their repetition seem so natural. Water flows more easily
on a path which is already moist; it is easier and generally more
sensible to walk on familiar terrain than constantly charter new
paths. That’s where the catch is - habit…. We want to walk on the
familiar path even if it leads to a blind end. If more people are
taking it so much the better! Yes, change is scary. Otherwise it
wouldn’t be change. There is almost always a risk involved. You don’t
know what lies ahead when you marry or take up a new job. Not
entirely. Sometimes your own ideas or what you dreamt of falls flat on
its face. The unknown challenges us. I have personally used
rationality, but find that the more significant changes in life are a
‘happening’ rather than a left brained choice or organized events.
Synchro-destiny is more than a fancy concept. I have more than once
quit jobs because I felt I did not belong there any longer, that I
should do something different, though at that point I had no clue what
that ‘something’ was. But once a decision is taken to let go of that
which does not ring in harmony to your inner music, you find your
music soon enough. I, in fact, feel that the moment one’s mind decides
to move out of the space that does not ring true, that decision,
creates and carves a path which takes you where you belong at that
point in time.
Sometimes, no almost always, there is a period of testing and trying,
but it passes and your heart settles into a space that feels right. No
place or space is final or absolute. But evolution means embracing
change. If change comes at a price, so does everything else in life,
including ‘security’. You have to consider the price and if you want
what it offers, agree to pay the price. If every step is lived with
awareness and is a conscious choice, the price paid is usually worth
it.
- Harvinder Kaur