Jason, I agree with Matt that it will be hard to estimate enough factors to build a quantitatively meaningful model (i.e., one that comes close to computing the best sounding grid resistor value). In particular, I think the model you proposed is way too simple and would probably require a lot more poles and zeros (that would be higher order terms of the "s" complex variable that comes from the Laplace transform).
If you were careful and had the right equipment, you could *probably* account for the dominant factors (and maybe some of the links in this thread show that already) but in the end, I suspect you will be fitting the model terms to the measurements; i.e., estimating the R, L, and C terms using empirical data.
The only proper tool to make this measurement is called a "network analyzer" and a commercial one of those would be completely out of reach, financially, for a hobby builder. Even if you had one, I'm still not sure exactly how you would make the so-called "S21" measurement, which is probably the one you want, because the input to the network is not an electrical signal that the network analyzer can synthesize; it is the mechanical grooves on the record. If you could make it, it would measure the transfer function of the tonearm/cartridge/etc. network as the output signal (input to your preamp) as a function of the input signal (the mechanical grooves on the record). The thing that makes the network analyzer so powerful is that it makes a *complex* measurement; i.e., it reports the *phase* of the transfer function in addition to the amplitude. You would probably need this to build your model.
A practical measurement of your tonearm impedance would start with, I suppose, a test record with tones at different frequencies. You would only be able to measure the response at those frequencies, and there is no way you would ever get the phase of your function, just the amplitude terms (rather like a "spectrum analyzer" instead of a network analyzer). You would probably fix a load impedance (the pot in your case) to two known values, and use some linear network theory and algebra do derive the transfer function (amplitude only) at those frequencies.
Here's the other big problem: all the basic theory one could apply, including your initial shot at a model, assumes linearity. The network analyzer does, too, except that you can usually program it to vary the amplitude as well to sort of get at nonlinear behavior. The test record that I have has two volume levels, at least, but only at one or two frequencies. So you would only get four data points.
I suspect that all the information that you want from your model is quite likely confounded significantly by nonlinearities which aren't supposed to be there in theory but probably are, especially in the cartridge. If true, this would render your math and hard work fairly worthless.
I could envision another approach if you had a test record with a really fast step or impulse encoded on it (a scratched record???). The step would have to have at least as wide of frequency content as the bandwidth you wanted to measure, so it would be on the order of 50 microseconds or better. My test record does not have such a track on it and I don't know that any exist. This test would also assume linearity, but would at least measure a continuum of frequencies determined by the sample rate of your scope. (I did mention that you would need a digitizing oscilloscope, right? 8-)
In summary, I like your pot idea combined with your ears...
John