Official AFN Nigger-owner's Manual (1st draft)
steppe...@my-deja.com
the_n...@my-deja.com wrote:
> OK, here it is. Comments and add-ins welcome (except from niggers -
who
> asked you, fishlips?)
>
Tech writing is a special skill and I commend you for this fine start.
I am reposting to a number of sites in hope that significant
contributions will be forthcoming.
Sepp
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^ Official AFN Nigger Owner's Manual starts ^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger. If handled
> properly, your nigger will give years of valuable, if reluctant,
> service.
>
> INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER. You should install your nigger differently
> according to whether you have purchased the field or house model.
Field
> niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together.
> Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately on unpacking it, and
> don’t even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers
start
> singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be
> thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as
> standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent
> attempts at escape.
>
> At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use
> the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too
much
> data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-
> you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your
new
> buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle,
> L’Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a
> joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger
> hoes. These names go straight over your nigger’s head, by the way.
>
> CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER. Owing to a design error, your nigger comes
> equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only
> a few basic human phrases with this apparatus – “muh dick” being the
> most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises
and
> appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a yet and have
> him remove your nigger’s tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a
> lot happier – at least, you won’t hear it complaining anywhere near as
> much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say anyway.
>
> Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours,
> mine, and that of white women, not the nigger’s). This is strongly
> recommended, and frankly it’s a mystery why this is not done on the
> boat.
>
> HOUSING YOUR NIGGER. Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with
> stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to
> push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers
> per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage
> can accommodate two hundred niggers.
>
> You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don’t worry
> about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of
> wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers
> never invented the shovel before and they’re not about to now. In any
> case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as
> the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in
> Afferica, so it will stay put.
>
> Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same
> cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.
>
> FEEDING YOUR NIGGER. Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and
> waddymelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because
> its lazy ass almost certainly doesn’t deserve it. Instead, feed it on
> porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its
> diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc.
>
> Experienced nigger owners sometimes push waddymelon slices through the
> bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if
> all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day.
> Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a
> killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of
> their lives. He reports he doesn’t have to spend much on free
> waddymelon for his niggers as a result.
>
> You should *never* allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since
> if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be
> retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger
> to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don’t ask. You have no
> idea.
>
> MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK. Niggers are very, very averse to work of any
> kind. The nigger’s most prominent anatomical feature is, after all,
its
> oversized buttocks, which have evolved to make it more comfortable for
> your nigger to sit around all day doing nothing for its entire life.
> Niggers are often good runners, too, to enable them to sprint quickly
> in the opposite direction if they see work heading their way.
>
> The solution to this is to *dupe* your nigger into working. After
> installation, encourage it towards the cotton field with blows of a
> wooden club, fence post, baseball bat, etc., and then tell it that all
> that cotton belongs to a white man, who won’t be back until tomorrow.
> Your nigger will then frantically compete with the other field niggers
> to steal as much of that cotton as it can before the white man
> returns. At the end of the day, return your nigger to its cage and
> laugh at its stupidity, then repeat the same trick every day
> indefinitely. Your nigger comes equipped with the standard nigger IQ
> of 75 and a memory to match, so it will forget this trick overnight.
>
> Niggers can start work at around 5am. You should then return to bed
> and come back at around 10am. Your niggers can then work through until
> around 10pm or whenever the light fades.
>
> ENTERTAINING YOUR NIGGER. Your nigger enjoys play, like most animals,
> so you should play with it regularly. A happy smiling nigger works
> best. Games niggers enjoy include:
>
> 1) A good thrashing: every few days, take your nigger’s pants down,
> hang it up by its heels, and have some of your other niggers thrash it
> with a club or whip. Your nigger will signal its intense enjoyment by
> shrieking and sobbing.
> 2) Lynch the nigger: niggers are cheap and there are millions more
> where yours came from. So every now and then, push the boat out a bit
> and lynch a nigger. Lynchings are best done with a rope over the
> branch of a tree, and niggers just love to be lynched. It makes them
> feel special. Make your other niggers watch. They’ll be so grateful,
> they’ll work harder for a day or two (and then you can lynch another
> one).
> 3) Nigger dragging: Tie your nigger by one wrist to the tow bar on the
> back of suitable vehicle, then drive away at approximately 50mph. Your
> nigger’s shrieks of enjoyment will be heard for miles. It will shriek
> until it falls apart. To prolong the fun for the nigger, do *NOT* drag
> him by his feet, as his head comes off too soon. This is painless for
> the nigger, but spoils the fun. Always wear a seatbelt and never
> exceed the speed limit.
> 4) Playing on the PNL: a variation on (2), except you can lynch your
> nigger out in the fields, thus saving work time. Niggers enjoy this
> game best if the PNL is operated by a man in a tall white hood.
> 5) Hunt the nigger: a variation of Hunt the Slipper, but played
> outdoors, with Dobermans. WARNING: do not let your Dobermans bite a
> nigger, as they are highly toxic.
>
> DISPOSAL OF DEAD NIGGERS. Niggers die on average at around 40, which
> some might say is 40 years too late, but there you go. Most people
> prefer their niggers dead, in fact. When yours dies, report the
license
> number of the car that did the drive-by shooting of your nigger. The
> police will collect the nigger and dispose of it for you.
>
> COMMON PROBLEMS WITH NIGGERS
>
> MY NIGGER IS VERY AGGRESSIVE.
> Have it put down, for god’s sake. Who needs an uppity nigger? What are
> we, short of niggers or something?
>
> MY NIGGER KEEPS RAPING WHITE WOMEN, BUT NEVER BLACK HOES.
> They all do this. Shorten your nigger’s chain so it can’t reach any
> white women, and arm heavily any white women who might go near it.
>
> WILL MY NIGGER ATTACK ME?
> Not unless it outnumbers you 20 to 1, and even then, it's not likely.
> If niggers successfully overthrew their owners they'd have to sort out
> their own food. This is probably why nigger uprisings were nonexistent
> (until some fool gave them rights).
>
> MY NIGGER KEEPS BLEATING ABOUT ITS “RIGHTS” AND “RASSISM”.
> Yeah, well, it would. Tell it to shut the fuck up.
>
> MY NIGGER ACTS EXACTLY LIKE A NIGGER, BUT IS WHITE.
> What you have there is a “whigger”. Rough crowd.
>
> WOW! IS THAT LIKE AN ALBINO? ARE THEY RARE OR VALUABLE?
> They’re as common as dogshit and about as valuable. In fact, one of
> them was President between 1992 and 2000. Put your whigger in a cage
> with a few hundred genuine niggers and you’ll soon find it stops
acting
> like a nigger. However, leave it in the cage and let the niggers
> dispose of it. The best thing for any whigger is a dose of TNB.
>
> MY NIGGER SMELLS REALLY BAD.
> And you were expecting what?
>
> MY NIGGER DISPLAYS A MASSIVE SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT.
> This is normal.
>
> SHOULD I ALLOW MY NIGGER TO FORNICATE WITH OTHER NIGGERS?
> Where are we, Wonderland? You’ll have a lot of trouble getting it to
> fornicate with *other* niggers.
>
> SHOULD I STORE MY DEAD NIGGER?
> When you came in here, did you see a sign that said “Dead nigger
> storage”? …That’s because there ain’t no goddamn sign.
>
> WHERE CAN I BUY MYSELF A BETTER QUALITY OF NIGGER?
> I don’t really understand the question (“better quality of nigger”…..?
> WTF?) but niggers are always available for sale on alt.flame.niggers.
>
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^ Official AFN Nigger Owner's Manual ends ^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> Sent via Deja.com
> http://www.deja.com/
>
Sent via Deja.com
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Lennie the Lurker
steppe...@my-deja.com wrote:
> In article <92t7qo$b20$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,
> the_n...@my-deja.com wrote:
> > OK, here it is. Comments and add-ins welcome (except from niggers -
> who
> > asked you, fishlips?)
> >
> Tech writing is a special skill and I commend you for this fine start.
> I am reposting to a number of sites in hope that significant
> contributions will be forthcoming.
>
the level of a pig, you're a piece of pig shit.
--
Lennie The Lurker
President and Public Relations Officer
Whack-A-Loon, Inc.
Makers and purveyors of fine quality loon mallets.
tim gueguen
<steppe...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:945gcu$19j$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
> In article <92t7qo$b20$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,
> the_n...@my-deja.com wrote:
> > OK, here it is. Comments and add-ins welcome (except from niggers -
> who
> > asked you, fishlips?)
>
At the very least stop crossposting your racist crap.
tim gueguen 101867
Phil
those firm literacy and land-owning principles.
(At least then people like you would be in their place)
