How Can I Get My Child To Focus On School Work
Arnold Gilgen
Not focused on learning? Easily distracted at school and during homework? A student with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) might not seem to be listening or paying attention to class material. He may be daydreaming, looking out the window, or focused on irrelevant noises or other stimuli. As a result, he misses lessons, instructions, and directions.
Some children need to take a break between school and homework or may need frequent breaks between assignments. Figure out what works best for your child in order to help her avoid distractions and procrastination.
Most children with ADHD need significant adult supervision to keep on task. As situations improve and the child matures, you can move away from constant supervision to frequent check-ins to make sure your child is on task.
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When the subject at school is too easy for your child, then they may quickly become bored. This is especially true for kids with ADHD, who are vulnerable to boredom, to begin with. Their boredom may come across to you and their teachers as a lack of focus.
If this turns out to be the case, then their teacher or school psychologist may be able to make recommendations regarding solutions. The key is for school material to be challenging, but not so difficult that your child becomes frustrated.
Provide kids with a quiet and distraction-free environment in which to focus on school work. At school, it may be worthwhile to talk to their teacher about alternative seating arrangements that could limit distractions.
Many things can trigger school-based anxiety. Including separation anxiety (fear of being away from you, their parents), social anxiety, and more. They could be getting bullied at school, or have anxiety and stress about academics.
If you see a clear difference between the way your child learns and the way their teacher presents information, talk to their teacher about it. Most educators are aware of the importance of teaching to all types of learners.
A disorganized space can be a major cause of distraction for your child. Make sure your child has a dedicated study space such as a desk or table to work on. This space should be clear of clutter and only include items that he or she needs for that study session (like his/her textbook, notebook, study tools, and note-taking supplies).
When your child is having trouble focusing, encourage him or her to get up and take a short break from what he or she is working on. For classroom distractions where getting up might not be an option, something as simple as your child closing his or her eyes and taking a few deep breaths can help refocus the mind.
Many children do best when they have a set routine they can stick to. Help your child create a daily schedule that includes time for homework, study breaks, and any other activities. Sticking to this schedule will help get your child into a routine where he or she is ready to sit down and focus on schoolwork.
Mindfulness involves focusing your awareness on the present moment while acknowledging your thoughts and feelings. When your child is becoming distracted, encourage him or her to take a 5 minute break to sit quietly and take a moment for him or herself. Have your child use this time to think about what is distracting him or her and how to refocus on the task at hand.
Lack of focus can come from a lack of engagement with the material. The solution: connect learning to something your child is interested in. For example, if your child is working on a book report but has trouble sitting down to actually read, try choosing a book on a topic he or she is interested in or wants to learn more about.
Find out the common distractions your child struggles with when he or she is in class. It might be sitting near chatty friends or sitting beside a window. You can find out what may be distracting your child by asking his or her teacher, or talking to your child. Once you know what the biggest classroom distractions are, you and your child can work on a plan to overcome them.
If the homework struggles you experience are part of a larger pattern of acting out behavior, then the child is resisting to get power over you. They intend to do what they want to do when they want to do it, and homework just becomes another battlefield. And, as on any other battlefield, parents can use tactics that succeed or tactics that fail.
When your kids come home, there should be a structure and a schedule set up each night. I recommend that you write this up and post it on the refrigerator or in some central location in the house. Kids need to know that there is a time to eat, a time to do homework, and also that there is free time. And remember, free time starts after homework is done.
For a lot of kids, sending them to their rooms to do their homework is a mistake. Many children need your presence to stay focused and disciplined. And they need to be away from the stuff in their rooms that can distract them.
If they do homework in their room, the door to the room should be open, and you should check in from time to time. No text messaging, no fooling around. Take the phone and laptop away and eliminate electronics from the room during study time. In short, you want to get rid of all the temptations and distractions.
One of the shortcuts we take as parents is to bribe our kids rather than rewarding them for performance. It can be a subtle difference. A reward is something that is given after an achievement. A bribe is something you give your child after negotiating with them over something that is already a responsibility.
If you bribe your child to do their homework or to do anything else that is an expected responsibility, then your child will come to expect something extra just for behaving appropriately. Bribes undermine your parental authority as kids learn that they can get things from you by threatening bad behavior. Bribes put your child in charge of you.
Our son struggled with a learning disability, which made the work feel unending at times. My husband James was much better at helping him, so he took on this responsibility. But even with this division of labor, we had to make adjustments to our schedules, our lives, and our expectations to make sure our son did his homework as expected.
Hello, my grandson recently moved with me from another state. He is currently in 8th grade (but should be in 9th). He basically failed the last 2 years and was promoted. I would say he is at a 6th grade level. It's a daily fight with him to do his homework. He won't even try. I know a lot of this is because no one has ever made him do his homework before. I thought he would just have to get in a routine of doing it. He's been in school for a month now and its a fight every single day after school. I have lost all the patience I had. I am tired of being a broken record and being the "bad guy". I don't want to give up on him and send him back to his mom, where I know he will never graduate. I have made so many sacrifices to get him here, but I am literally at my wits end with this. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I didn't think it was going to be this hard.
My rule is homework after school. If he comes home and does his homework after school, it was easier for him to complete. That lasted a week and a half. Now, he just sits there and does nothing. Does anyone have any suggestions? I couldn't live with myself if I sent him back and he became nothing but a drop out. I know I am not one to have patience, and I am trying but at the same time, I am almost over it. I don't like going to bed crying and knowing that he is crying too. I am open to all suggestions. Please and thank you.
I'm so sorry you are facing these struggles with your grandson. We here from many caregivers in similar situations, so you're not alone in your frustration. We have several articles that offer helpful tips for managing these homework struggles, which can be found here: -categories/child-behavior-problems/school-homework/
I found school to be extremely boring, as a teen. Looking back I realize that I hadn't found the work challenging enough. Personally, I struggled with this all through high school. I was completely disinterested in school, as a result.
Here's what I know. Correcting our children when their behavior is displeasing is what most parents focus on. Without a lot of explanation I'm going to try to get you to change your focus. All children have 4 emotional needs:
Rather than focus on your child's behavior, focus on meeting these needs. Meet the needs, change the behavior. There a 25 ways to meet these needs. One of the most effective is to spend regular one-on-one time with your child doing what your child wants to do. How do you spell love? T-I-M-E. It seems counter-intuitive, but just try it for a week. Do this for 1/2 hour every day for a week. See what happens.
Frustrated Confused Parent, I went through similar challenges with my son when he was in high school. As a grade school student his grades were always B and higher. The changes began when his mother and I separated; my son was 12yo. Prior to our separation I was the one who maintained, and enforced the habit of completing his assignments before extracurricular activities could be enjoyed. His mother never felt she had the patience or intelligence to assist him with his homework assignments and upon our separation she completely ignored his school work. Although he continued to follow the structure I had established through grade school, he soon began to realize that no one was showing interest any longer and, thus, began shirking school related responsibilities. My son and I were, and still are, close. I am certain that the separation likely had some affect on him, but it was more than that. He was reaching his teens and becoming more self-aware. Friends began to play a more integral and influential part in his life. Unfortunately my son's grades began slipping as he reached his early teens. For me, this was extremely frustrating since I was aware of how intelligent he was and of what he was capable. After many aggravating, lengthy, heated, and unyielding conversations with his mother about maintaining the structure established through grade school, it became clear she was incapable or simply unwilling. Essentially, he was on his own. Of course I would do whatever I could to help. For starters, I facilitated a transfer to a Charter School, realizing that he needed more individualized attention than that which a public school could provide. It seemed as though he was getting 'lost in the shuffle'.
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