CORRECTIONS FOR FINAL PBL REPORT

[alia.d...@hotmail.com]

Hi All,

Please use this google groups thread to add changes you think should
take place to the report.

Before you post please also make sure no one else has already said the
same thing :)

(i started a new thread because i couldnt find one already, but if
there is one please forgive me and my computer illiteracy :) )

-Alia

[alia.d...@hotmail.com]

Ok, so have gone through and made corrections, as always they are just
suggestions to help the flow and overall format of the paper.

Page 4 line 21: “South Coast British Columbia Transportation
Authority / Translink” should be underlined South Coast British
Columbia Transportation Authority / Translink

Page 4 line 24: “providing many of the necessary alternatives to
private transport” should be changed to “providing many of the
necessary alternatives to personal transport”.
Both translink and ride share are both private companies and using
personal might make it less confusing.

Page 4 line 32: “Local businesses will have the opportunity to take
part in our proposal in several ways, and their inclusion, though
perhaps not as central as that of Government; will be an asset
nonetheless. ” “Nonetheless” shouldn’t be used at the end of a
sentence. 
“Local businesses will have the opportunity to take part in our
proposal in several ways; although their inclusion may not be as
central as that of Government, it will still be an asset.”

Page 4 line 40: “The public will be the single most important group to
bring into the fold and their participation will be the measure of our
success” add a comma and “ultimate” The public will be the single
most important group to bring into the fold, and their participation
will be the ultimate measure of our success.

Page 4 line 41: “We have designed our proposals to accommodate the…”
we’re only doing 1 proposal?  “We have designed our proposal to
accommodate the…”

Page 6 “Project Requirements” I think this whole paragraph is lacking
“connectors”. In my opinion it sounds better with connectors…here is
the paragraph with my changes:

“Initially technicians will need to install cameras on the five main
Vancouver bridges to initiate the toll system. Also, marketing
advisors must be assembled to develop information and advertising in
advance of the new tolling system. As well, a website must be created
that clearly explains the new policy, and provides alternate options
such as Ride-Share, other car co-ops, and Translink. Physical signs
must also be installed on roads leading to the bridges, as well as
other strategic spots in Vancouver, to indicate the implementation of
the new system. Moreover, an online payment system for the tolls must
be initiated, as well as physical pre-payment systems, involving
partnerships with convenient locations such as 7-11 or Safeway, where
commuters can pay ahead of time. A license plate registration system
must also be established for this. Furthermore, the number and
frequency of buses must be increased on major routes during peak hours
in anticipation of increased public use once the toll system begins.
Finally, it is crucial that a committee is created to monitor the
success of this program, perhaps in the form of published Annual
Reports. This committee will also raise awareness about the
environmental benefits of reducing traffic congestion through tolling,
and the impact of this program on sustainability. The implementation
of these requirements will impact the job market by creating positions
in the areas of: accounting, technical support, marketing/advising,
and within the Vancouver parking authority.”
Page 6 Line 33: Indent this paragraph

Page 7: indent all paragraphs on this page

Page 7 line 41: “Funding for this project could originate from
revenues from the project itself,” instead of [from…from]  “Funding
for this project could originate out of revenues from the project
itself,”

Page 7 Line 44: “programs such as Jack Bell Ride share”
capitalization, and article “programs such as the Jack Bell Ride
Share”

Page 8 Line 2-5: Better flow if the 2 sentences are blended together
“Environment Canada could also offer support through their EcoACTION
funding program which grants money to projects that decrease GHG
emissions (EcoACTION).”


I am posting my corrected document under "files" as well as another
document where i wrote up which changes i thought should be made (its
easier to read than on here)

whomever is doing the final edit please make sure that the page breaks
are flowing nicely

thanks!
alia

[e....@hotmail.com]

I just wanted to make one correction to my part so everything is in
the same tense. Whoever is making the final edit, in the second
sentence of the paragraph on financial planning could you change the
sentence from:

"Some of our funds (can) be generated from the newly implemented
congestion charges" to "Some of our funds (could) be generated from
the newly implemented congestion charges"

The changes I made are in brackets. The rest of the sentences use
"could", so I thought the whole paragraph should be in that tense, if
that is the right logic.

Thanks,
Elizabeth