The Adoption of Mya LaVie Rowlands

[Indigo Williams Willing]

Dear AVI egroup and Adoptive Parents of Vietnam (APV) Readers,

 

I would like to share an unusual story of one Australian expatriate woman's journey to adopt a Vietnamese child,Nguyen Thi Thu Dong, from Vietnam via life in the Middle East and a U.S adoption contact.  I found it on the Internet.  The author is Miranda Rowlands, who I've cc'd on this post in case she is not a member of APV.  Nguyen Thi Thu Dong was renamed Mya for as Miranda writes, "George and I had a hard time deciding on an Anglicised name for all those who can’t say names harder than Jane Smith" at (http://www.therowlandsfamily.com/FAQ.html).

 

The Rowlands lived in Middle East, Asia and I think they are in the UK at present.  These guys travel.  Hopefully they'll take up a post in Vietnam one day.

 

I think you'll all find this story rather interesting as it covers an unusual adoption process. but what is more unique is the narrative about finding a letter from Nguyen Thi Thu Dong's birth mother. 

 

With Regards

Indigo

______________________________
Indigo Williams Willing (Thuy Thi Diep Huynh)

Adopted from Saigon to Sydney 1972
Founder - Adopted Vietnamese International (AVI)
www.adoptedvietnamese.org
Post-Graduate Student, The University of Queensland
MA. BA. The University of Technology, Sydney (UTS)

______________________________

The Adoption of Mya LaVie Rowlands

Many people have been curious about Mya and her origins.  She’s obviously special because she looks neither like her mother nor her father - more like their Indonesian driver, but, she’s not his child either.  Yes, Mya was adopted by us and instantly became a member of the Rowlands family. 

After several years of marriage, miscarriages, vasectomy reversal, IVF treatment, emergency life-saving operations and on-going indecision, we finally made the quantum leap to adopt.  In hindsight, we should have done it years ago.  Getting pregnant was not the problem, but I had developed anti-bodies that attacked any growing fetus and rejected any pregnancy. The longest of many pregnancies was Zoë, whom I lost at six months.

We were living in Dubai in the United Arab Emirates when we started the adoption process.  There were neither official Adoption agencies nor State run Social Welfare Programs to assist.  But there was an adoption support group.  Adopting in the Gulf was impossible for a non-Moslem, so we looked abroad through the Internet.  My dream was always to have an Asian baby, but because of the obvious differences and racism that is sometimes aimed at Asians, we looked at Greece, (we were rejected because I was not a real Greek), Jordan – (we were the wrong religion), Korea (we were overweight) and China (we were too old) elsewhere like Russia, Ukraine (offered sick babies first), and Guatemala (could not always guarantee it was legally accepted in Australia) it went on and on.  In the end we decided that if we chose not to have an Asian child because of possible racism she would face, we were in fact then condoning it.  Because of our age, and other factors including length of time (with a looming international move that could have sent us back to Australia), we would have had to start all over again and wait several years in which time we would have been considered too old. We decided to look at adopting from Vietnam.   

Others in the adoption support group had adopted from Vietnam. We were told about a woman who was in a similar situation. Apparently she adopted from Vietnam but without using the only person in Dubai who usually arranged adoptions. For several reasons, we chose not to use her either.  The day after we made the decision to adopt, I was visiting the American hospital in Dubai. Out of the blue, whom should I come across – the one woman in Dubai who had undergone the adoption process the way we were choosing to do it.  She was literally a Godsend.  We sat in the waiting room and she told me from go to woe how she had done it. 

Now that we knew how to do proceed whilst living in the Emirates, we chose to do it through an American Vietnamese based agency.  An Australian woman who was an expatriate at the time, had written an article on the Internet about how she had succeeded in adopting within a short time from Vietnam using this agency.  We contacted Amanda through e-mail (if anyone hates the Internet – see how this changed our lives!) She encouraged us, supported us and assured us that this was a legitimate agency, and that adoption outside Australia for expatriates was possible.

Continued at: http://www.therowlandsfamily.com/Myaadoption.html

 

Includes story about finding letter from babies birth mother:

"The only information we knew at this stage was that the mother was 19 years old and unable to look after her daughter.  Her name and address did not appear on the birth certificate, but she had given birth in a hospital where she had been brought by motor cycle by someone who declared he did not know her.  She obviously wanted to remain anonymous.  However there was a letter in the file from her mother.  This was the letter she had left with Mya in her cot along with some clothing, sugar, and a small amount of money for her care.  

The letter read… 

My dearest daughter, 

I am writing to you with great pain in my heart. I have no other choice but  to leave you. 

My name is Nguyen Thi Thu, I cannot disclose my address. I have learnt that all the medical staff of Uy Lo Health Service have good hearts and save a lot of children in unfortunate situations. I cannot take care of my child because of  my special circumstances.   

I therefore ask the staff of this Health Service to look after my daughter and send her to any orphanage of any Government Care Services.   

I am grateful to the staff in anticipation. 

Nguyen Thi Thu 

The letter and the gesture of leaving things with her, showed how much she loved her daughter, and when she writes of great pain in her heart, we can only begin to imagine what it must have been like for her to leave her.  It was not an abandonment – it was leaving her in care."