men and therapy

[M & A Madden]

About half of my clients are men.I see them alone or often with their partner and sometimes with their children.

The stories they tell me about their life concerns are not so far removed from issues I have had to confront in my own life..how to balance stressful work life with family relationships...how to maintaim respectful and loving relationships with partners and how to make a meaningful contribution to our children's lives.

This degree of empathy does not preclude naming and confronting behaviour which is damaging to the client or those around him.But it's not a war!The core conditions for helpful therapy with men and women continue to require acceptance and a genuine spirit of inquiry about the other's life.A therapy which encourages men to become curious about the ideas and emotions which underly their  behaviour offers the best chance of meaningful change.(See my "Five useful questions in Couples Therapy"..ANZJFT  June 2005.).

 

Michael Madden.

[M & A Madden]

[M & A Madden]

[Jan Victory]

Michael – I am with you. I roughly see equal numbers of women and men with and without children. The pre-requisite for my service is the presence of a chronic medial condition. This condition transforms the place the person occupies within the world and family bringing an enormous amount of existential angst. I reckon that engaging in war-fare does not help and profound respect for the persons and empathy for their circumstance enables change. This sometimes means speaking powerfully about what one might do to make things different as per the request of the persons. The place of hope – capacity to see that which is beyond the muddy waters of what is displayed I think is enormously useful.  These are difficult things – and most of us do it better and worse at various times.     

 

Jan