Arguments Against Divorce

[Jule Kue]

Thedivorce rate in this country is approximately 50% and is seems to have become more commonplace that people are willing to get a divorce for a myriad of reasons, instead of working things out. There are some good arguments for couples staying together, and there are a number of reasons that make a strong argument for divorce. It might be a good idea to look at what are thought to be strong arguments for and against divorce. By doing so, you can compare the issues you are having, if this is a course of action that you are contemplating. Here are some reasons to stick things out and work on the relationship, as well as reasons that perhaps it is time to consider an amicable end to the relationship.

- You have a family. It is of course better for everyone involved to maintain an intact family, IF you are able to find a way to work through your issues and set a good example for your children of what a healthy relationship can look like.

- Believe it or not, divorce has health implications. Since stress plays a role in illness, it would only make sense that splitting up would cause or exacerbate symptoms of an underlying illness. If you decide to split, make sure you are attending to good self-care and reduced stress levels.

- The financial burden of supporting your own household may not be a reality. While it may not seem like a great reason, a romantic reason, or even a good reason, many couples find a way to work things out because they cannot financially swing things on their own. They need to put the interests of all parties involved into consideration, and decide on a quality of life and standard of living.

- There are good characteristics of the other person that caused you to fall in love with them in the first place. If you think it is possible to tap into those thoughts and feelings again, it is worth exploring and doing the work.

Reasons that divorce might be the best option for you:

- Infidelity: some people are able to heal and move past infidelity, while others feel that it is a make or break issue. If you know you are someone who cannot forgive the person, and that you feel that the relationship is not worth trying to save, divorce might be the best option.

- Violence: if your partner is physically violent with you, frequently emotionally abusive, and consistently hurts you in any kind of way, this may not be a good or safe relationship for you to stay in. Your safety is always first, so if this person is dangerous to be around, this relationship is not one for you.

- Addiction: while addiction is a disease, and people should be allowed an opportunity to try to get help and get sober, if the person continually refuses to get help, has let the addiction take over their life, and is a physical, financial, and emotional threat to you and your family, this is not a relationship you can be in at this time. However, if they end up getting treatment, it is not to say that you cannot reconsider.

- Mistreatment of your children. Children should always come first, and they are not able to make decisions and protect themselves in the way that you are. If your partner is being consistently or seriously abusive to them, in any manner, you should be the one that is strong enough to put their needs first, and remove them from the situation until the partner is willing to change and/or get help. If they are not willing, that is their choice, not yours.

Hopefully this highlights some good reasons to stay in a marriage and work on it, and reasons that you should leave the relationship, where love may not be enough. You have to consider love for self, love and safety of any children, love of the other person, and above all things, safety.

Anna was divorced in the early 2000s. After 15 years of marriage, her husband discovered her infidelity and came to her with what she saw at the time was his firm decision. He wanted a divorce. There was no discussion. There was no counseling. There was just the attorney who prepared the papers and a cursory division of property. Her guilt let him take control, and years later she wished they had learned to talk during their marriage and especially before it all ended. At first, she thought divorce was freeing, but in the end, it was a personal, social, and financial disaster.

In her book, The Case Against Divorce (Ivy Books, 1990), which is still relevant today, clinical psychologist Diane Medved, Ph.D., takes a bold stance on the outcome of divorce and outlines some of the major arguments against divorce. Her take is that anyone considering divorce needs to think it through and not just consider what seems right for now, but what life could and will likely be down the road.

Some of the consequences include the frequent anger and resentment that may linger for years and deeply affect your life including emotional scars that may never go away. Then, there is the likelihood you will experience a lower standard of living, diminished social interaction and issues with self-esteem following separation and divorce that can be very hard to restore.

You may want to work on your marriage instead of disrupting your life and starting all over. Unless there are issues that are points of no return such as abuse and neglect, there is likely something to hold on to and build on.

If divorce is a real possibility, counseling with a licensed therapist, a trusted pastor, or a divorce coach could be of help. An objective third party (other than family and friends) is always beneficial whether you choose to seek their advice individually or as a couple.

Launched simultaneously with Divorce Magazine in 1996, DivorceMagazine.com was one of the first magazine websites in the world. Today, the website offers thousands of pages of divorce-related articles, FAQs, podcasts, videos, and targeted advertising. We also offer a Professional Directory featuring family lawyers, divorce financial analysts, accountants, therapists, and other divorce-related services.

Sounds like a title that could be written today. And with just, kind of, barely a shrug. When she wrote it, in 1962, it got attention. It kicked open the door to the sexual revolution in the 1960s, and she used the platform that she gained at Cosmopolitan magazine, where she was the editor in chief for more than 30 years, from 1965 to 1997.

So, she instructed all of her writers to insert made up anecdotes into the stories that they published in Cosmopolitan magazine; in order, to advance the sexual revolution. She was unapologetic about that strategy, to deceive women into believing that sex, outside of marriage, was normal. That everyone is doing it. And things like divorce and taking the pill and abortion. All that is normal and liberating.

Browder tells the story of how she became a soldier in the sexual revolution, and she used the moral voice of the first wave, feminism, that is, to gain voting rights for women and property rights for women. She used the moral voice of first wave feminism, to achieve the immoral goals of second wave feminism, which had everything to do with sex and abortion.

Sadly, some of the industries that the sex revolution funded had to do with the consequences of the sex revolution. These sin laden men and women also spend a lot, a lot of money on STD treatments, abortions, marital counseling and, also by the way, divorces. Lots of lawyers making lots and lots of money in divorce litigation, divorce mediation, divorce court.

Cosmos strategy worked. And what we find is, that, when basic restraints to prevent immorality, that is social and cultural pressures, when those pressures are removed and when people think that they have social and cultural permission to commit sin, you know what they do? They commit sin!

I want to encourage you to stay married. Yeah, but more than that, I want to encourage you to rejoice in marriage. To rejoice in marriage. To see the great privilege and, and, and have gratitude for marriage. And look I get it. Marriage can be hard at times. Really hard. Sometimes very hard and very painful.

Listen, those who get the message of the law and the prophets. Those who get that message, they are those who see themselves as sinners. Especially so in marriage. Especially sin in relation to their spouse. To see their sins, they need to look no further than their marriages. To see how they fail to be the husbands and the wives that they ought to be.

The promises are fulfilled in the Gospel of the kingdom. And those promises reward those who believe the promises with salvation, with eternal assurance, with everlasting confidence, with an abiding hope that, yes, all my sins are forgiven in the cross.

Marriages. You know people getting married these days. That number is going down, down. You know why? Because people, people are cohabitating. Pornography is rampant in our country. People clicking away, clicking away and defiling themselves over and over with porn and with sexual immorality and homosexuality and cohabitation.

Making a marriage covenant, taking this oath, this vow of marriage before God and man. To another human being should weigh heavy, heavy on the Christian conscience at all times, such that, even if a divorce should occur, remarriage is not an option.

Full on adultery, sexual immorality, all the res, homosexuality, everything. They never ever want to return to that, though. Our Lord Jesus Christ gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness, Titus 2:14. He redeemed us. Bought us back from all lawlessness. Why? So, that he could purify for himself a people for his own possession.

They, they hope to draw him into a debate on divorce. They wanted to polarize popular opinion against Jesus, forcing him to take sides in this ongoing theological debate. In his answer, Jesus sidesteps the question altogether. He sidesteps the debate and he refuses to entangle himself in the opinions of this, Rabbi versus that Rabbi versus that Rabbi.

Jesus asked them, what did Moses command you? Their answer goes back to Deuteronomy 24: 24:1. And it makes it sound like Moses is concerned about filing the right paperwork. Moses allowed a man to write her a certificate of divorce and to send her away. You heard 24:1-4 is that, is that what Moses is allowing to file proper paperwork and then send your wife away?

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