Share a draft: Unity3D Resumable Downloads

[gszauer]

http://www.altdevblogaday.com/?p=31212&shareadraft=baba31212_53325f773e0e9

I'm trying to get into technical writing a bit. Would love some feedback.

[Adam Martin]

Simple and yet I've often wished there were a good, simple tutorial for this in Unity (too much in Unity is undocumented, and only exists in long, waffling YouTube videos that are appallingly lazy, no effort taken to understand and teach the concept. The speaker simply says the same thing 5 times over in slightly different ways, hoping listeners will eventually work it out).

A few notes:
 - "determine WHETHER" (spelling)

 - "the response ITSELF" (grammar)

 - "download is COMPLETE" (spelling)

 - ... lots of these. I suggest you run it through MS Word, with both grammer + spelling check.

 - it would be much cleare if you described the variables using the same breakdown approach you used for the methods. Right now you have a massive block of code-text, then a fat paragraph that munges together descriptions of everything in there. Very hard to reference, and not easy to read/understand.

 - Is HttpWebRequest the best way to do this? I am very, very ignorant of C# best-practice APIs, but my impression was that there are much better 3rd party replacements out there that give more options, more feedback on progress, better debugging etc. If I'm wrong, cool - but it would help enormously if you wrote a few paragraphs about where HttpWebRequest fits within the scheme of things. Then when people see your post compared to ones that use a completely different API, they at least can see *why* you picked HttpWebRequest - and if you don't mention the other API, they can see that maybe it's worth trying both, etc.

 - You say that DropBox doesn't support last-modified, but it's not clear what you do about that?

 - As with the "big wall of text for variables", your 40-line coroutines would be much better if you split the code into sections, putting the descriptive text between them. e.g. "the next 4 lines do X" ... "this line will check the foo, and if it can't get it, we can't go on - we wouldn't have a bar, which is deadly. So we throw an exception" ... etc.

 - If "UnloadLocalBundle" does "as the name would suggest", then ... "if you can't say something positive, don't say anything" :).

 - Excellent that you include a quick test-case - so much tutorial code would be better this way (often catches post-publish edits that accidentally break the code). But again, it would be nice to have a few lines of explanation for each block of the test, saying what you were testing and why this seemed a good thing to test.

On 26 March 2014 05:05, gszauer <g.t.s...@gmail.com> wrote:

http://www.altdevblogaday.com/?p=31212&shareadraft=baba31212_53325f773e0e9

I'm trying to get into technical writing a bit. Would love some feedback.

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[gszauer]

Updated after Adam's feedback: http://www.altdevblogaday.com/?p=31212&shareadraft=baba31212_53338ab275c78

[gszauer]

Adam, awesome response!

Thanks for all the feedback, i've made a new draft with your feedback

http://www.altdevblogaday.com/?p=31212&shareadraft=baba31212_53338ab275c78