Thanks Alex I appreciate you took the time to read it.
Regarding the specific essay structure that you mention I have a bone to pick - I think it's awful. I loathe redundancy in writing and saying the same thing three times makes me cringe. Writing paragraphs that everybody is going to skip anyway detracts from your message by making an essay sound formulaic or trite. Grade school teachers teach that structure because it's the simplest structure to teach to kids who need to structure their work, but then those kids grow up and become adults and never stop using that same dull structure as if it were the law.
That said, in spite of the above paragraph, I'm still glad you mentioned it because clearly the article needs some structure work. When I revise it I will definitely keep an eye on the structure. Thank you!
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Ah, well then I suppose I may have been straw manning a little bit. It doesn't sound so bad the way you put it there.
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