Electric Bacon - Issue 4 oz/us ezine
damien haas
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$$$$$ electric bacon $$$$$$ assembler's / editor's: $$$$$$
$$$$$ issue 4.0 nov 6 1996 $$$$$$ eri...@why.net $$$$$$
$$$$$ the intercontinental ezine $$$$$$ eld...@ozemail.com.au $$$$$$
$$$$$,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,$$$$$$,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,$$$$$$
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..-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-..
Issue 4 of the bacon has arrived! This issue is jampacked with
even more weird shit from the net, and our first contributor to
the 'Rants' section. Welcome aboard Jack Reda. Priscilla has
gone on tour with 'Les Girls' and is unfortunately not with us
this issue, however she called me earlier today and told me she
had some juicy letters for next issue.
More subscribers are trickling in. Thanks to all the people that
remail the Bacon. If you see something on the net that you think
is suitable for the Bacon, send it to Doghead or myself for
inclusion. Enough from me, on with the Bacon...
El Damo - Editor
contributions welcome - email to the editors welcome - flames welcome
email to:
eri...@why.net OR eld...@ozemail.com.au
..-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-..
Semi-regular sections:
The Sack.... Dippin into the email inbox...
Weirdness... Weird shit from the NET and real life...
URL's... URL's that were visited...
Soapbox... Rants...
Brother's Keeper... Privacy Issues, Big Brother...
The Media... Fillum reviews, TV watching, media reports...
Friction... Fiction, poetry and whimsy...
Kingview... Elvis sightings...
Credits... Crediting the cats we borrowed from...
Subscription... Subscription information...
The ideal way to read the section you desire is to search for
the title of the area you want to read ie: 'Friction'. Or you
could just start at the top and read on...
..-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-..
The Sack.... dippin into the email inbox
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1996 23:32:46 +-1100
From: adr...@netlink.com.au
To: eld...@ozemail.com.au
Subject: electric bacon 2
Hey cunt. I didn't get your second E-zine. What happened you
slut shagger? Doesn't your computer work or something? Or maybe
mine doesn't. Or maybe theirs doesn't. It's hard to know. What I
find about this Internet caper is that it merely encourages you
to rave mindlessly as though you have nothing better to do than
augment the ceaseless chatter that already clogs all the
conduits of communication in this chattering world. So what are
we? Monkeys still? Hanging upside down in trees and screeching
and yelping merely to confirm to every other animal about that
we are alive, and that by virtue of the noise we make are no
mean leaf in the foliage. I condemn you. I condemn your damn
Internet. I spit on your brazen monkey perkiness. I spit on this
eternal need to rave to no effect. I spit on all who imagine
that this new fangled megaphone gives them leave to bellow their
whimsies to a distracted world. I spit on the puniness of man. I
spit on the fickleness of women. And now I'm all out of saliva.
El Damo notes: Hey Doghead, I think this guy wants on the Baconlist...
..-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-..
Weirdness... Weird shit from the NET and real life...
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Tue, 08 Oct 1996 13:57:51 alt.conspiracy
NASA photographs 7000-mile UFO(fwd)
rich....@24stex.com
NASA Photographs Huge UFO
edited by Jason
On January 30, the Alan Handlemann radio interview program on
WRFX-FM, Charlotte, North Carolina featured a NASA scientist,
Dr. Bergrun, revealing that NASA's Voyager space probe of
Saturn's rings took photographs of an estimated 7000-mile-long
elliptical-shaped craft orbiting in the rings. Dr. Bergrun said
that the portholes could actually be seen in the side of this
huge spacecraft. Now, independent confirmation occurs in the
February, 1996 issue of "Science News" (V. 149, No. 5, p. 71),
where the Hubble Space Telescope was reported to have
photographed a large elliptical non-satellite orbiting Saturn's
rings in one photograph, which disappeared from a follow-up
photograph. Two other very big and very bright orbiting objects
were photographed 5/22/95 and 8/10/95, and disappeared by
11/21/95. Dr. Bergrun believes that the elliptical craft is
intelligently controlled. When asked why NASA had not managed to
get a photograph of the huge craft before, Dr. Bergrun said that
"they have a tendency to hide".
The NASA scientist said that it appears that this giant vehicle
is doing something to Saturn's rings, possibly exerting
attraction. [Boyland's note: the "shepherd moon" effect?] When
asked why NASA and other governmental agencies haven't released
this information before, Dr. Bergrun answered that the 1958
Space Act states that the public will be informed about results
of space photos and data only IF it is determined that such data
is not a threat; and that a craft this size would be considered
a threat, and would be deemed to have great military
significance. As such, it would fall under the "top black-budget
military intelligence agencies". [ Boyland's note: Operation
Right To Know reports that an intelligence agency is in control
of NASA now.] Dr. Bergrun presents NASA's discoveries in a book,
"The Ring-Makers of Saturn" (1996), which reportedly contains
the NASA Voyager photograph of this huge space vehicle orbiting
in Saturn's rings.
- Rich Boylan
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a
mother and child."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Fri, 18 Oct 1996 06:19:36 alt.sex.stories
Reminiscences of my best girl
kno...@po-box.mcgill.ca cryptique at McGill University Computing Centre
Reminiscences of my best girl
***********************************
I needed her so bad I could barely stand it. I needed her *now*.
The line was longer than normal today. I had waited almost five minutes.
The guy in front of me was taking forever. I fidgeted nervously behind
him, like an addict waiting for his fix. I *am* an addict. I'm
addicted to *her*.
I pretended to look around idley, but in my mind I was criticizing his
sloppy technique. He ran his hands up and down her like some teenager.
Had he ever even done this before? Finally, as if by accident, he was
finished. He got his things together and was on his way.
Now it was *my* turn.
I stepped up to her, pulling it out of my pants. It was hard. Hell,
it seems like it's always hard, you know? She was built, and spread out
in front of me up against the wall like she always was. Just like she
was for every guy who came along. She was still a little out of it from
the last guy, but after a few seconds, I saw her rouse. She was ready
for me. I lined it up and started to work it in, slowly at first, but
then I felt her giving, yielding...
I shoved it in as far as it would go.
That got her attention. She services guys all day long, one after
the other, and even some women too, but she was taking a definite
interest in me now, after she had felt how thick it was, felt the
stiffness of it and the ridges on it. She wanted to know who I was.
I let her know, in my own way. My fingers played her like a cheap
piano. I wasn't some clumsy, inexperienced kid like the guy before
me. She asked what I wanted and believe me, in a few moments, she
knew. A few simple, accurate, firm thrusts, and she was giving it
to me too. Just like yesterday, and the day before. Just like
last week and every week for the past six months. I went to other
girls but she was my favorite. She was a little more expensive than
the others, but she was classy, in a good part of town, and did
it to me just how I liked it.
Now I was done. I'd gotten what I came for. I felt that calm,
relaxed feeling flow through my body. But she wasn't done with it.
She needed it for a few more moments, holding it inside her while she
finished.
I waited, patiently, lovingly, taking care of my baby: it's important.
Finally when she was ready, I pulled it out. I felt like
this every time. Is this all life is? Drudgery and tedium punctuated
by a few satisfying quickies? I stood and looked at her for a
moment. It almost looked like she was sad too.
The guy behind me was anxious, and ready for her. He wanted to
stick it in her and he wanted to do it now. He needed her even
worse than I had, and he was impatient.
"Are you done, or what?", he asked.
"Relax pal", I replied, "it's just a money machine."
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Thu, 24 Oct 1996 07:30:30 alt.cult-movies
Re: Bad Boy Bubby
si...@arnold.netkonect.co.uk Simon Arnold at .netkonect (customer account)
rrw wrote:
>
> Hi,
> Just saw this astonishing film on satellite. A WWW page mentions
> it was cut for the UK cinema release, and cut some more for video/TV
> in the UK. Anyone know what's been removed ?
> Thanks,
>
The scene where Bubby "clingwraps" the cat. Nice kitty.
Simon
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Sat, 19 Oct 1996 03:46:48 alt.conspiracy
Uranium in your teeth
No responses
fer...@woods.uml.edu
THE STRAIGHT DOPE by CECIL ADAMS
Q: About 15 years ago, I read an obscure government publication on the use
of uranium in dental porcelain. It said uranium is added to dental porcelain
for cosmetic reasons, to make the porcelain more luminous -- like natural
teeth. It was estimated that this use of uranium causes about 2000 cases
of cancer per year. I've since mentioned this to many dentists, but none
of them had ever heard of this.
Cecil, I'm counting on you to find out what's going on here. Preferably
before I need more dental work. And while you're at it, what is the safest
dental material?
-- Pearl E. White
Chicago
A: You read right, friend -- an accomplishment in itself these days. In
one of those classic wacky moves, manufacturers once upon a time did put
uranium in dental porcelain to give crowns and false teeth that certain
glow.
Real teeth have natural fluorescence. If you shine a black light on your
teeth they gleam a brilliant white. To give dental work the same glow, the
use of uranium in dental porcelain was patented in 1942.
The timing of this was suspicious. You have to wonder if those Manhattan
Project scientists, toiling over crucibles of hot uranium, got to thinking,
HEY, IF THIS ATOM-BOMB THING FLOPS, WE CAN ALWAYS GO INTO TEETH.
I should point out that the glow imparted to false teeth by uranium was
not in itself a consequence of radioactivity. Uranium merely happens to
fluoresce in the presence of UV light. Fluorescence is harmless. Lots of
compounds fluoresce. Uranium's advantage was that it would survive the
high heat of porcelain manufacture.
However, you did have the problem that uranium also emitted radioactivity.
In the wake of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, it occurred to the dental-ceramics
industry that a substance that had destroyed cities might have adverse
health effects if used in the mouth. Manufacturers discussed the situation
with the Atomic Energy Commission in the 1950s.
The debate proceeded along the following lines: on the one hand, putting
uranium in people's mouths might possibly give them cancer and kill them;
on the other hand, their teeth looked great. It was an easy call. The
industry was given a federal exemption that allowed it to continue using
uranium.
In the 1970s some began to wonder if this had been the world's smartest
decision. The amount of uranium used in dental porcelain was small -- 0.05
percent by weight in the U.S., 0.1 percent in Germany. Nonetheless, the
fake teeth bombarded the oral mucosa with radiation that was maybe eight
times higher than normal background radiation. None of the research I came
across mentioned a specific number of cancer deaths, but clearly this was
not something you'd do for the health benefits.
There was also the unavoidable fact that the aesthetic gains achieved
using uranium were slight. To see the teeth fluoresce you needed UV light,
and, as one study sniffily noted, "UV lamps are used mainly in some disco-
theques and restaurants" frequented by "only a very small fraction of the
population with these types of restorations".
BUT COME ON, you're thinking. If even one guy with fake teeth looked
good in a disco, the prospective untimely demise of a whole bunch of other
people was surely worth it.
Even that advantage turned out to be illusory, however. Though it was
claimed that the best uranium compounds replicated the white fluorescence
of natural teeth, research showed that some porcelain teeth fluoresced red,
violet, or bright yellow. In other words, not only were you nuking your
gums, but when you opened your mouth you looked like a freaking neon sign.
That put the matter over the top. Numerous authorities urged that the
use of uranium in dental porcelain be discontinued, and in the mid-1980s
the federal exemption was revoked. Most dental porcelain sold today is
uranium-free.
What's the safest dental material? One guess: real teeth. Guaranteed
against silent horror stories unless someone sneaks up and bites you. Brush
'em after every meal, because who knows what the dental industry will think
up next?
-- THE BOSTON PHOENIX
October 11, 1996
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
From: r...@ids2.idsonline.com (Rex)
Newsgroups: dc.general
Subject: An open letter to those who flame me.
You are starting to bore me with you e-mail flames. So, as
not to waste your time, I will supply you with a list of
"givens", please be REALLY OFFENSIVE or don't waste your time.
Thank you :)
Given:
My Mother: A Whore
My Father: Also my Brother
My Siblings: My sexual partners
My Penis Size: Miniscule
My Brain Size: Smaller than my penis size
My Education: Non-existent
My Spelling: See education
I will keep you up to date if any of these things change.
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
First they came for the Hackers.
But I never did anything illegal with my computer,
so I didn't speak up.
Then they came for the pornographers.
But I thought there was too much smut on the Internet anyway,
so I didn't speak up.
Then they came for the anonymous remailers.
But a lot of nasty stuff gets sent from anon.penet.fi,
so I didn't speak up.
Then they came for the encryption users.
But I could never figure out how to work PGP anyway,
so I didn't speak up.
Then they came for me.
And by that time there was no one left to speak up.
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Tue, 15 Oct 1996 20:09:36 alt.conspiracy
U-2 Conspiracy Unravelled
land...@telerama.lm.com Mayor Loz at Telerama Public Access Internet, Pittsbu
Airstreams, not missile, downed U2 spy plane: Ex-Soviet pilot
Straights Times
10/13/96
MOSCOW -- A former Soviet fighter-pilot has broken 36 years of
silence to reveal what he said was the true story of one of the hottest
moments of the Cold War -- the downing of United States agent Gary
Powers' U2 spy plane.
In an interview published in Trud newspaper on Friday, Mr Igor
Mentyukov said his new Sukhoi Su-9 fighter was unarmed when he was
scrambled over the Urals and ordered to ram the high-flying "spy in the
sky" piloted by Mr Powers.
He said he managed to overtake the U2 and "Powers' plane got into the
slipstream of my Su-9. The airstreams whip past at 180 m a second,
plus the turning factor. It started to flip him over, his wings broke off ...
It all happened by chance".
Mr Mentyukov said Soviet generals, eager to satisfy Kremlin leader
Nikita Khrushchev's misguided faith in Moscow's rocket defences,
covered up his extraordinary feat and insisted for three decades that the
U2 was hit by a guided missile. Worse, he said, the missile batteries
actually fired at him after a mix-up over codes.
The downing of the U2 on the morning of May 1, 1960, provoked a
sudden chill between the two superpowers.
Mr Powers, working on contract for the US Central Intelligence Agency,
was put on public trial in Moscow in August 1960 and jailed for 10
years for espionage. He was released in February 1962 in a spy
exchange.
The unassuming agent, who died in 1977, was always unable to give a
clear account of how he was brought down. He said he felt an
explosion, the U2 went into a spin and he ejected to safety.
"Everywhere I looked was orange," he once recalled.
Mr Mentyukov, who was rewarded with "Saturn wristwatches and an
order to shut up", said the US pilot was describing the sonic boom of the
Sukhoi overtaking him from above and the flare of its jet engine. --
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Whenever I use Elvis stamps, I have my hound dog lick them.
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Sat, 12 Oct 1996 00:30:09 alt.cult-movies
Re: The Wizard of Oz and Sex
jk...@de.crawford.com Jonathan Kemp at Crawford Communications, Inc.
The Wizard of Oz is a metaphore but not for homosexuality. It's about
the gold standard, and the U.S. gov't deciding whether they were going
to not use the gold reserves to back the paper money. The wealthy were
for keeping the gold standars and the poor wanted to have it changed to
silver. The slippers in the book were silver not ruby. Basically each
character represented a segment of the american population at the time.
Getting off of the gold standard would help the lower and middle classes
economically. The Cowardly Lion is the silent middle class, which did
not exert the kind of political power in the early twentieth century
that they do now. The scarcrow represents the farmers. The tin man
symbolizes the industrial work force. The yellow brick road represents
the gold standard leading the characters astray throughout the story.
The silver slippers were the salvation all along.
sorry but I had to share...
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Date: Sat, 26 Oct 1996 15:52:03 +1000
From: Ric Hill <rth...@ozemail.com.au>
Subject: police virus
Computer software eats police records
MANISTEE, Mich. - Police have an all-points-bulletin out for the
man who sold them a computer program they say is eating up their
case records. The program, called Crime Tracker, was billed as a
way for police to keep track of cases and was sold to around 25
police departments across Michigan. The Manistee County
sheriff's office estimates it has lost four year's worth of
data, and other departments are having similar problems. To top
it off, the software maker has vanished. The man used to live in
Battle Creek and is believed to be in Australia. Attempts to
reach him have failed. to live in Battle Creek and is believed
to be in Australia. Attempts to reach him have failed.
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
"Only in America can a Veteran sleep in a cardboard box,
while a draft dodger sleeps in the Whitheouse".
- found on a bumper sticker.
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Tue, 29 Oct 1996 04:42:22 alt.bizarre
Re: The "MAGNETIC PERSONALITY" Technique
ba...@crl.com Repairman Jack at Void Where Not Prohibited, Inc.
Take a chance <hy...@mail.abcom.com> say-ed...
>Easy to follow instructions, easy to read, easy to understand.
>Prepare to liberate the exposive forces that lie dormant within you.
My head's already exploded today.
>This is the ultimate weapon you need to acquire a magnetic
>personality.
Whoa! I'll finally be able to pick up metal objects without my hands!
>Use your mind to influence others to:
>. Get what you want easity
>. Win the respect and support of influential men and women.
>. Immediately silence anyone who tries to criticize you or belittle
>you, and make them change their opinion about you.
>. Make someone fall deeply in love with you regardless of your present
>relationship with that person.
'It's spring time for Hitler, and Germany....'
max
['You think I'll be able to bulk erase tapes?']
--
___________________________________________________________
"Day after day, day after day, we stuck,"
"nor breath, nor motion,"
"Idle as a painted ship, upon a painted ocean."
max==ba...@crl.com KYFHO Freedom < > Slavery
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
THE TOP TEN REASONS TRICK-OR-TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX
10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
6. The person giving you candy doesn't fantasize that you are someone
else.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months.
4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.
3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning.
and, the #1 reason trick or treating is better than sex...
1. IF YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT,YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
From: bre...@interaccess.com (Candy-Colored Clown)
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity, alt.culture.jesse-garon, alt.gamera.is.friend
.to.all.children, alt.aol.hell.ao-Kitty, alt.religion.kibology, alt.fan.BIFF,
alt.fan.zoogz.rift, talk.bizarre, alt.destroy.the.internet
Subject: Re: Female, age 16, seeks friends over internet
Hi!! I am a nubile 16-year-old female with a great body and long blonde
hair. (I am not a federal agent.) I am seeking a father figure who will nurture
me emotionally, spiritually, and financially and teach me exotic methods of
sexual gratification. (Really -- I am not a federal agent - I swear!) I hate
wearing clothes and I love to cook, clean, and wait hand and foot on my man.
(Even though I am a minor, and federal statutes mandate a minimum felony
sentence for taking indecent liberties with me -- you won't have to worry
about that -- really!) Take me, I'm yours. Please post your real name,
address, and phone number. (This information will not be divulged to the
government -- scouts honor!) Come get me!!
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Newsgroups: nyc.personals
Subject: Re: Being _just friends_ - "I want someone like you, but not _you_"
From: greg...@earthlink.net
<< Like You, But Not You...
(c)1996 - Greg Bulmash
I have a problem with women. It's not that they don't like me. No.
They love me... as a friend.
I don't know how many times I've been on the phone with a woman and
she says: "Greg, you're such a good listener. You're so caring and
sweet. I wish I could find a guy just like you."
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but generally one would assume that
_I'm_ just like me. Her response: "Well, like you, but not _you_. I
just don't think of you that way."
Guys, beware of this. As soon as she doesn't think of you _that way_,
she'll suddenly feel comfortable talking about anything in front of
you. I was once out with three women. Three women and me, they're
all good looking, and they're all my _friends_. They start talking
about sex. Then they start talking about how long it's been since
they had sex. These girls were talking in terms of days and weeks.
Me, I'm talking in terms of _terms_... presidential terms.
Then one pipes up and says "I really need to get laid." The other two
chime in with "Me too. I need to get laid too."
It was finally too much to bear. I motioned them close. "Ladies, you
may not know this," I said. "It's really a closely guarded secret,
but... now keep this under your hats... I have a penis. Not only
that, it's but a mere part of a complete and fully functioning set of
male genitalia. But wait... male genitalia? My goodness, that must
mean I'm a guy. And you know what? Even better than that? I'm a guy
who's just like me."
But, of course, they want a guy who's like me, but not _me_, so until
they find him I guess they'll have to settle for something that's
_like_ a guy, but requires batteries. >>
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Time to learn some Politically correct terms!:
romantically challenged -- not with somebody at the moment
folically independent -- bald
certified astrological consultant -- crackpot
environmentally correct human -- dead
motivationally challenged -- lazy
outdoor urban dwellers -- homeless
suffering from a sex addiction (female)-- slut
suffering from a sex addiction (male)-- stud
spacially perplexed -- drunk
amphibian American -- frog
sex care provider -- prostitute
And last but not least here's Doghead himself!:
Caucasian Culturally-Disadvantaged -- white trash
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Wed, 30 Oct 1996 07:16:00alt.fan.tonya-harding.whack.whack.whack
Re: Lifesaver......AAWWWWRRIIIIGHHTTTT TONYA!
ALMI...@worldnet.att.net Christopher Jefferson at AT&T WorldNet Services
jda...@mindspring.com (J-David) wrote:
Deposed skating champ Harding turns lifesaver
October 28, 1996 Web posted at: 9:35 p.m. EST
PORTLAND, Oregon (AP) -- Tonya Harding couldn't have invented a
better story to help change her image.
She's a lifesaver.
The deposed figure skating champion says she believes God was
behind her last-second decision at a suburban bar near her home
for a few minutes to play video poker.
Shortly after Harding and her godmother Linda Lewis arrived,
Alice Olson, 81, collapsed and stopped breathing. Harding called
911 with her cellular phone and administered mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation.
"It was very, very scary," Harding said. "I kept my calm and
cool and knew what I was doing. I had to do this. I thank God
that I was there. Nobody else in the bar knew what to do. ...
This lady was literally dead for probably two minutes. Linda and
I brought her back to life."
Kim Ip, owner of the Lost and Found Saloon where the incident
occurred, confirmed Harding's version of events. "The lady came
to in a couple of minutes," Ip said. "I'm grateful that Tonya
was here."
Harding comforted the woman until paramedics arrived, Ip said.
Olson, who suffers from heart problems and diabetes, was treated
overnight at Milwaukee Providence Hospital and released on
Monday.
"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her," Olson told KOIN-TV.
"She saved my life."
In an interview with The Associated Press, Harding said she and
Lewis were on their way to Harding's home when they decided to
stop at the bar.
"I really believe that God had me there for a reason because we
weren't going to stop because I'm trying to sell my house and
somebody was going to come look at it and I had to get home to
clean it," Harding said. "We decided to stop for about 15
minutes."
Harding said she never intended to take her story to the media,
but members of Olson's family called KOIN to relate the story.
Harding said she didn't know of the impending publicity until
her agent, David Hans Schmidt, called her from his Phoenix
office after getting a call from KOIN.
Harding worked with the elderly in the Meals on Wheels program
as part of the conditions of her probation after pleading guilty
to conspiracy to hinder prosecution in the January 1994 assault
on rival skater Nancy Kerrigan just before the U.S. Figure
Skating Championships in Detroit. Harding went on to win the
title in Kerrigan's absence, but later was stripped of the crown
and banned from the sport for life.
She is hoping to begin a comeback soon in non-sanctioned events.
Harding said she remembered CPR from a class she took in school.
"I passed the course at the top of my class," Harding said.
When the woman regained consciousness, she held on to Harding's
hand.
"Once we got her back and I had her head in one hand and her
hand in the other and was talking to her and stuff and trying to
make her smile," Harding said. "I said, `So, have you ever been
kissed by a woman before?' She said she hadn't and I said,
`Well, I guess there's a first time for everything."'
Go to http://www.cnn.com/SPORTS/9610/28/harding.ap/index.html
for story and photo.
---------David
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Top 10 reasons computers must be male:
========================================
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter
..-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-..
URL's... URL's that were visited...
(URL - Ubiquity now, Revenue Later)
Send us your fave URL's people !!! Tell us why
you visit it, and what you like about it. (El)
The Disgruntled Postal Worker Zone!
http://www.well.com/user/ecp/index.html
For people who are disgruntled - not just postal workers
but any of us! A great and funny page with lots of
links, good information, and a general sick appeal to
it. (DH)
Battle Of The Bargemobiles
http://www.cosmic.uga.edu/doug/cars/barge.html
A Web site devoted to the late 60's "barges" -the kind
of car that weighed 10 tons and your Grandmother drove
one...the kind of car made of steel, and iron. This
page covers the faster of those barges. For example the
1970 Oldsmobile Delta Royale - 0-60 in 6.9 seconds! (DH)
The Unofficial Janis Joplin Homepage
http://www.dartmouth.edu/~modred/janis.html
A small-town Texas girl makes big. A wonderful fan page
here folks. Pictures, links, music, and more. Whether
you liked her or not, she could sure belt out a tune.
(DH)
Orestes' Page
http://shrike.depaul.edu/~ekessie/orestepage.html
Orestes is a 2 year old cat that lives in Chicago.
Perhaps this is what all pet pages look like. All in
all Orestes, who by the way eats "Science Feline
Maintenance Light Dry Food", is a cool cat. (DH)
In The Spotlight: Presidential Pets
http://www.fleabuster.com/news/prespets.html
Whether Socks cat, the current "first pet" gets to stay
in the White House may for the moment be a mystery, he's
dug his claws into the history books by being a
presidential pet. Learn about Caroline Kennedy's dog
Pushinka, a gift from Nikita Khrushchev suspected by
some to be a communist plant, and more on this short but
interesting page. (DH)
..-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-..
Soapbox... Rants...
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
How We Think
by Jack Reda JRR...@gnn.com
http://members.aol.com/jackreda
(The easiest way to explain how men and women think is to use an
analogy. Since this is being viewed on as electronic mail, I
will resort to computer metaphors.)
Women think like a webcrawler.
Here's what I mean: Let's say a man is having a conversation
with a woman. He wants to talk about sex (just as an example).
He enters "sex" into the form and hits return. After a few
moments his query returns with thousands of web sites, most of
which have seemingly nothing to do with sex. The top item, for
instance, could be mowing the lawn. Now, not understanding what
mowing the lawn could possibly have to do with sex, he clicks on
that link. The next menu is a list of sites relating to
lawnmowing (When to mow the lawn, Lawnmowing techniques, The
neighbour's lawn, etc).
After awhile, and several links later, he has navigated around a
labyrinthian network of sites finally to a vague comment on a
page that describes how a wife sometimes feels like a lawn
during sex: she only gets mowed when the husband gets worked up
over how good the neighbors lawn looks (or something equally
asinine).
When you go into a conversation with a woman, you may be
focusing on the exact subject matter, but she is connected with
every possible related bit of material, and can link up to any
of it in a matter of moments (depending upon the speed of her
modem).
Men, on the other hand, think like DOS.
It's a pretty simple language, but it's fraught with defects and
redundancies: She asks him "what's wrong?" He says "sorry, you
need to be in the C drive". She changes drives, he says "sorry,
you are in the wrong directory." This can go on for a long time.
You need to be very specific when talking to men. They are at
the end of the string of commands, waiting, and stewing. They
know what's wrong, but if you don't ask for it in the exact
right way, they just aren't going to volunteer the information.
In addition, there is the matter of how much RAM he has, and
what has been allocated to virtual memory, etc. Some models are
simply obsolete in a year.
So, in a nutshell, with men you get too little, but with women
you get too much, and you don't know what most of it is.
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Hand in the till ?
Turn the light on and let us all see it.
Some comments on public office and taxpayers money.
by El Damo
Several months ago the Solicitor General of the Australian State
of Victoria was deciding on whether or not the State should go
ahead with contempt of court proceedings against Broken Hill
Proprietary (BHP). This is all very normal for the Solicitor
General, except that unbeknownst to the public at the time, and
the court system, and the plaintiff of the case, the Solicitor
General had a substantial share holding in BHP (the defendant) -
the very company he was in the position of causing financial
harm to.
Bob Brown, the Greens Senator from the Australian state of
Tasmania, in a question to the house during question time in the
Senate, raised a very interesting point. He informed the Senate
that licences granted recently to a company called Boral to
carry out woodchipping, was a company that the Minister and
several of his colleagues had share holdings in. He suggested
that in future, when there was a vote held that ministers who
held a financial interest in the subject being voted upon,
should abstain from voting. Both major parties in the senate
ridiculed his suggestion.
Far be it from El Damo to suggest any impropriety or possible
dishonesty arising from the two instances above, but surely they
illustrate one of the dangers in the political arena for private
gain from public money. Especially when it can appear to be a
conflict of interest. Bob Browns suggestion was a very sensible
one - that Senators refrain from voting in The Senate on issues
in which they stood to gain, especially where it was apparent
that they held a financial interest in a company that was
competing for a government licence or contract.
This is not only sensible but I believe a necessary step for
modern parliaments to adopt. It would prevent any suggestion of
impropriety or possible allegations of corruption arising in
future, and it would make parliament more accountable to the
people - and not shareholders. Already politicians are required
to lodge a financial statement with the Parliament that details
their financial holdings, including shareholdings and company
boardroom positions. Further rigorous updating of these
regulations would illustrate to the Australian public a sense of
honesty and trust that the public purse was being dispersed for
the benefit and interests of the taxpayer, and not the benefit
and interests of the politicians.
Several Ministers of the new government have already resigned
due to clumsiness with their financial holdings and their roles
in public life. One of the things that politicians must
understand is that the decision to become a politician means
that certain things that they took for granted as an ordinary
person must be sacrificed for their public life. One of these is
that there must not only be no corruption, but the
circumstances for corruption to appear must not exist either.
Okay, make politicians divest themselves of share holdings - but
they are still citizens with the right to earn money, increase
their personal wealth and ensure that they can live comfortably
when they retire from public life. What can we do to ensure that
they wont be harmed by divesting their financial interests ?
I propose that a system of 'blind trusts', run by a non-
political board comprised of public servants and professional
financial advisers elected by the politicians who choose to
invest their money in this 'blind trust' be established. This
'trust' would be run as any other business, except that it's
only investors would be currently serving politicians. When they
retire from politics, as well as their substantial superannuation,
the politicians would then have their holdings in the trust
returned to them, as well as any financial gain that their
holding has accumulated. In my view, this trust would be run as
any commercial enterprise would be. Subject to the same laws,
the same company and taxation regulations. Primarily it would
provide the elected representatives of the nation the security
and financial returns that their extant holdings would return.
Secondly it would ensure that their financial plans for the
future were not harmed by their decision to enter public
service. It's greatest benefit however, would of course be that
forever removed would be the possibility of a politicians
shareholdings influencing their voting or political decisions.
People already distrust politicians and there is a lot of apathy
in the community about matters such as this, with people just
accepting that occasionally politicians will abuse their
position to further benefit themselves. I don't think that it is
acceptable and as a taxpayer, I don't like my money going into
the pockets of elected representatives as a result of fraud or
self interest and non-disclosure. I don't want my country and
its political system tainted by bribery and big-money politics
like other countrys. It is about time that politicians realised
that in public life their are sacrifices and responsibilities.
To the public and themselves. (El)
..-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-..
Brother's Keeper... Privacy Issues, Big Brother...
Stopping unsolicited email
by El Damo
Nothing bothers me more when cruising newsgroups than spam. Make
money, fast cash, hot girls etc. It's really annoying. That's
why I set up a killfile with the variables '$$$', 'CASH',
'MONEY' etc, and that protects El from a lot of spam. However,
what is even worse than newsgroup spamming, is the lowlife
shysters who comb newsgroups for YOUR posts, then extract your
email address from your post and send you unsolicited email.
Fortunately for us, they often use automated programs, and
because they are greedy by nature, they are also lazy, and often
dumb. Use this knowledge to your advantage and add the following
to your default settings in whatever browser you use.
If your name is: dog...@adobe.com
Set your 'reply to' variable or 'userid' variable to:
doghead(REMOVE BEFORE REPLYING)@adobe.com
or
And make sure that in your sig block you mention the asterisk on
your email address, and state that it is there to stop spammers.
That simple advice, if acted upon will let you merrily post away
on whatever newsgroups you choose to, without being sent
unsolicited spam by shysters.
..-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-..
The Media... Fillum reviews, TV watching, media reports...
ALL THE STUFF AND MORE: VOL 1 Probably one of the
THE RAMONES weirdest rock groups to
emerge from America, the
Ramones have allegedly called it a day. This is a compilation of
some of their best material, but not strictly a 'best of.
Packing energy and cynicism into a three minute song using only
three chords is not that easy, the fact that the Ramones were
around for over 20 years is testament to their abilities as
musicians and social observers. Proto-punks, they influenced
many of the 70's punks like the Sex Pistols and The Clash. On
this single CD there is 33 tracks. That's right 33 tracks. Most
only go for two minutes or thereabouts, like hit and run poetry
with a driving beat. My favourite Ramones track is 'Beat on the
Brat' and its here, although 'Rock and Roll High School' isn't.
For 75 minutes of hardcore fun, grab this CD and crank up the
volume. It's not as good as seeing them live, but it is a great
record of their musical achievements. Great rock'n'roll. I give
this CD eight out of ten. (El)
title: All the Stuff (and more) Vol 1
artist: The Ramones
platform: audio cd
label: Sire/Warner Bros
no: 7599-26220-2
cost: 30.00 $oz
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
THE DILBERT PRINCIPLE On the back of this books
dust jacket, on the price
sticker, the bookstore has
crossed out 'Management' and written 'Humour' instead. I think
that pretty much sums up this excellent book. For fans of the
Dilbert cartoon strip, the themes that Scott Adams pursues are
taken to their logical conclusion with biting dissections of
management, restructuring, employee participation, the business
world and all other facets of corporate droidism that people
endure. This is a dangerous book for anyone in management to
read because they will all say to themselves 'Glad I'm not like
that' and have a quiet snicker at the way management is
portrayed. Dream on. As the blurb on the back of the book says:
'The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are
systematically moved to the place where they can do the least
damage - management'. Not just a collection of cartoons, Adams
has composed some excellent essays on different aspects of the
workplace and exposed us all. Those times when we thought no one
knew we were slacking off - we were busted. If we weren't, we
will be from now on! Essential reading for anyone working in a
large organisation. Except management. (El)
title: The Dilbert Principle.
author: Scott Adams
platform: dead tree
publisher: HarperBusiness
cost: oz$ 24.95
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
THE FIRST WIVES CLUB On the surface this is a
fairly innocuous 'big name'
comedy with three 'stars'
carrying the film. Starring Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn and Diane
Keaton, it is about three women who are 'First Wives' dumped
after 20 years or so of marriage for younger, prettier women.
While their husband continue to prosper, these women are left
alone in the world, abandoned and broke. So what do they do ?
They take revenge. A peurile plot. Nowhere in the film is there
any serious examination of other reasons why these marriages
failed. Relationships end and that's life. Except in this film,
where the only reason the marriages ended is that the wives were
dumped for younger woman. The film is mildly entertaining and
does have some good moments but overall it is a disappointment.
Perpetuating the 'all men are bastards' stereotype may be money
in the bank for Hollywood, but while this film purports to
portray women as strong and independent, it in fact makes them
out to be vile vindictive crones. Ignoring the comedic humour
that the film releases in dribs and drabs, I as a man left the
cinema with a bitter taste in my mouth. While it may be a 'feel
good' film for some, you would have to be divorced I guess to
truly understand the twisted minds of the three 'First Wives'.
(El)
..-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-..
Friction... Fiction, poetry and whimsy...
666 at the 777-11
by
Eric Via
It's not every day I get to send out something wild that
actually happened to ME..but today something wild happened:
I left work and went down to the local little 7-11 type store to
buy a pack of cigarettes. (Save the lectures on that please)
I pull up to the store, and right away I notice a lady standing
by the door of the store, and she's looking into my car - right
at me...as if she knows me.
I decide she's just a fruitcake or she thinks I'm someone else,
and I proceed to get out of my car and approach the door. She's
looking at me still - eye contact.
She was blonde, about probably 5 foot 8, not super attractive
but pretty. She didn't at all look like a "street person", was
dressed normal, clean hair, etc...heck it looked like someone's
wife waiting for them to pick her up!
She's smiling at me as I get closer - a strange smile though,
and when I get right up to the door, right next to her, she
steps forward while reaching in her coat pocket.
"I have to give you this" she says, and hands me a piece of
paper.
"Thanks" I say as I take the paper from her and enter the store
- and out of the corner of my eye she walks off.
As I'm entering the store I open the paper, fully expecting to
find one of those religious tracts.
But no, it's not printed material, but a white business sized
envelope, and on the front of the envelope she's hand-written a
message for me!
In green marker it says - "A CRY FOR HELP", and below that also
in the same handwriting, in pen, it says:
"WATCH OUT FOR SATANIC WORSHIP LEADERS IN THIS COMMUNITY! -
FOUNTAIN OF JUPITER"
Wow...then a long-haired cat steps up to me:
"What'd that chick give you man?" he asks.
I pulled the envelope from my pocket and read it outloud to the
guy... "Wow" is all he says.
"Is she gone..did she leave?" I ask
"Yeah man do you know her?"
"Hell no I don't know her" I reply.
"Well she looked like she was out there waiting on someone"
"Here" I say - "You take it", pushing the envelope to the guy.
"HELL NO MAN!" he says "IT'S YOURS she gave it to YOU"
We both laughed.
"Well," I told him, "I guess I'm like a 'chosen one' or
something" and we both laughed.
I paid for my smokes, and went back up to the man, who was in
line. "You sure you don't want it?"
He just laughed.
Now THAT my friends, to me, is a real-life strange adventure.
Upon research I found that "FOUNTAIN OF JUPITER" - which I first
thought was probably some kinda wacko cult, is the name of the
apartments NEXT to the little 7-11 store. The envelope she
scribbled her "message" on is from those apartments (An envelope
you use to pay your rent money) - the envelope is empty, and I
looked but the lady was gone when I came back out of the store,
and she walked away from those apartments.
Wow.....
Eric "Chosen one" Via
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
'Fringe'
part 4
by El Damo
Linenoiz walked out to the sidewalk and looked around, last
night the wet season had started with 8 hours of torrential
rain. The gutters were overflowing with mounds of garbage and
the drains were geysers of grimy water and assorted sewage. He
popped a stim cap into his mouth and bit into the metallic
tasting hardness, his body instantly awaking itself from a night
of exhaustion and insomnia. The reality of his involvement had
only now began to hit him. If he could make it through the next
ten days then things were sure going to change around here.
Striding purposefully along the sidewalk he dug his hands into
his pocket, his left palm forming around the grip of the old
derringer pistol he had decided to carry with him from now on.
Pushing into the door at Irvings, Linenoiz relaxed himself and
had a quick scan around to see if anybody he knew was there. He
only recognised Tite behind the counter and wandered over to
him.
'hey Titey, look man I need these bits. Can you have a look
around for me'
'That's a long list LN, I hope you bought some coin with you, I
don't even know if I have some of this stuff... what the hell
is a 'neural packet analyser' ? is that some sort of sniffer
that you jack into directly ?'
'Oh no, it's a new tool that the Koreans are using Titey, I
didn't even know if they had made it here yet. Look I have to go
and get some more stuff, can you let me know how much of that
list you can fill?'
'Ok man, I'll email you'
Linenoiz stepped out of Irvings and walked over to a noodle
bar, noodles and squid, with oyster sauce. Breakfast of
champions. Paging down through the latest news he noticed an
interesting item.
"City denys inter-corporate war behind break in at Troop
Research Station"
Interesting. He had heard a rumour that someone was scamming for
info on the structure of the Troop Research Station, but they
weren't corporate. Subversives ? Who knew. Something was in the
back of his mind but whatever it was didn't want to jump forward
and fill him in right then.
Downing his soy milk, Linenoiz stepped back into the muddy
river of the sidewalk and was alerted by ROGUE that he was being
painted by a low power laser rangefinder. He ducked down and
adjusted his bootlace, taking his torso down among the rest of
the crowd.
'Great, a fucking tail'
He stood up and ROGUE detected nothing. He walked along and
scanned, knowing that he had to lose the tail before going back
to Irvings, but what if the tail had been on him before then ?
Into the Green market, ROGUE picked up the rangefinder, painting
him as he walked down the platform. He walked in front of a
pillar and then back out, ROGUE calculated the angle and
distance of the device painting him and it was fairly close.
-----oOOOOo------
'What a shithole' mumbled Addison as he swung his legs out of
the cubicle at the McLeish Motel, a down and out shithole with
the only advantage of cheap secure accommodation. They also
didn't care who he was, didn't run his name through a credit check
and barely even noticed his comings and goings. Two days now
since he had decided to drop out and lay low. Standing in the
filthy bathroom he scrubbed his torso down and noticed a strange
little scar under his armpit.
'Hmm, never noticed that before' he pressed at the scar with his
fingers and squeezed it. 'New too, but I would remember cutting
myself there. This is fucking weird'. He finished washing and
got dressed, feeling out of place in the salaryman suit he
decided to get rid of it and get some new gear, something a
little more street friendly. Packing his gear into a sports bag
he locked the cubicle and went to the lobby, stopping on his way
to search the phone company database at the payphone. Disposal
store pretty close, in fact it was just around the corner in the
Green market.
-----ooOOoo----
'I'm never going to lose that fucker!'. Frustration. Every turn
I make in here he makes as well. I hope it's just one. Ok, into
the Hard-mail Office.
Linenoiz walked down the long narrow office in front of the
hard-mail counter. He felt the painter on his back, he didn't
even need ROGUE for this one. As he reached the other exit at
the far end of the office, he wheeled and started walking back
down towards the entrance. No one appeared startled by this, he
quickly scanned the faces, noone he recognised. Back to the front
door, ROGUE detected the painter, Just as he reached the front
door he wheeled around again and walked towards the back
entrance.
'There he is' Linenoiz made the painter and walked past him to
the counter. Standing at the counter, Linenoiz purchased a packet
of hard-mail stamps and walked out the entrance back into the
Green market.
Commander Serpt threw his headset down and swore. 'That arsehole
has made us. If he hasn't then I'm gonna retire and become a
fucking librarian'. The Green market security cameras had been
piped into the situation room at the Troop Research Station. 36
different views of the Green Market now filled the viewbank in
front of him. The laser dot on Linenoiz enabled the cameras
sensing equipment to follow him through the crowds. 'Alright,
enough of this shit. If he knows we are on him we might as well
bring him in. Pick him up'. The orders were barked out by an
orderly to the troops at the Green market and Serpt sat down in
his swivel chair to watch the arrest. 'When are these people
ever going to learn that they will always be caught'.
-----oooOOOooo----
Addison came out of the Disposal store in his new gear, lovely
surplus Zairean camouflage trousers, off-world mining boots and
a groovy Air-Cav drop smock with about 20 pockets, which the
salesman assured him was IR proof. Yeah Right. For 40 Euro's he
would be surprised if it was rain-proof. Still it did look pretty
good on him. He hadn't worn camo gear since the Oil War's and it
felt very strange to be back in it. While he was there he picked
up a few bits and pieces that he felt a man on the run should
have. The insta-xtend Katana was illegal to carry, but legal to
sell. Hey he was a non-person now, he could pretty much do what
he liked. It fit in his hand very well, only the handle could be
seen until his body temperature and a flick of the wrist made it
extend instantly to its full three and a half foot length,
seamless carbon fibre and razor sharp. He clipped it on his belt
and fortunately the smock covered it but he could reach it in a
hurry. Four magazines for the Mauser pistol he grabbed from the
goon. They fit nicely under the smock on the opposite side of
his chest from the shoulder holster he had also bought. This was
a familiar feeling to him, but not among civilians. In fact he
felt very weird.
'Where to know ? I might as well try and get to Tokyo. Toshio
can help me out but I have to be careful about getting him in
trouble as well. Whoever sent those goons will still be looking
for me and a pair of sunglasses and a change of clothes aren't
going to be much help' he thought to himself.
He walked through the hydroponic section and stopped for an
apple. Walking away with a bag of Fuji's he made for the upper
levels when he heard something - gunshots ?
----ooooOOOOoooo----
Dropping to the ground, Linenoiz rolled under a table of bootleg
t-shirts and mad for the aisle, running like mad his legs felt
like they would fall off. Where the hell had those guys come
from ? The derringer only had one round left and he didn't have
any other weapons on him. Who packs heat when they go shopping!
They didn't even look like cops, just thugs, so who were they
and why did they want him. Just strolling along minding his own
business when someone yells out 'freeze' which always makes you
move. Fortunately he was still running ROGUE which had alerted
him to the threat of armed men near him a few seconds earlier.,
They had not been able to surround him properly in the crowded
market, so he leapt for the gap and fired as he leapt, probably
hitting one of them, but he didn't check , no time.
Running now, up the walkway trying to stay down, people
scattering as he ran at them, he looked over his shoulder and
saw four guys with stun-guns and two guys with bullpup assault
rifles, they were running just as fast as him, but they were
trying to aim as well. A slim wire shot past his ear as he
dodged right and hit a fat woman in front of him. She
straightened up and the veins on her neck popped out as she
dropped to the ground. That had to hurt.
----ooooOOOOoooo----
The guy running towards him looked scared, and those thugs
behind him looked mean. What the! A fat woman dropped to the
floor - shot by the thugs. This sort of shit has to stop. Where
are the police when you need them. Addison grabbed his mauser
and his katana. The scared guy ran past him and Addison dropped
to his knee. Four aimed shots and three goons down, the fourth
caught the goon in the chest and he was pissed. Addison stood
up, extended the katana and wheeled around catching the goon in
the upper chest and slicing nearly through to the shoulder
blade.
Linenoiz looked over his shoulder again and saw what just
happened. Shit! He skidded to a halt on the shiny well polished
tiles and aimed his derringer at one of the two goons left
standing. The slug found a home in the goons thigh and he fell
clutching his leg screaming in pain.
Addison sliced out again and the goons arm fell to the floor
still holding the assault rifle, the goon looked at his arm on
the ground, looked at his stump and then went white and fainted.
Addison stopped, all hyped up and in a combat stance, looking
around him he saw that there was no longer a threat, he twisted
the handle and the katana retracted, he clipped it back on his
belt.
Approaching this strange violent figure, Linenoiz kept the
derringer in his hand. 'Thanks man, but we better get out of
here, I'm in big trouble' surveying the bodies he added 'and I
reckon you are too'. He bent over and rifled through the pockets
of one of the troopers. Pulled out a Trooper ID card and showed
Addison.
'Oh shit' I thought THEY were criminals! Addison slapped his
forehead. The realisation of his actions hitting home.
'Hey man - I'm no criminal!' Linenoiz seemed hurt. 'Look we
better go, and fast. Grab some of this stuff'.
Addison picked up an assault rifle,a stun gun and some ammo for
the rifle when the sirens started. Time to go. The two ran out
of Green Market.
----ooooOOOOoooo----
Watching the carnage from 20 different angles, Commander Serpt
went silent. Then he went red with rage and ordered the
area closed off. The gates to the market closed just as the
Target and that strange man who appeared from nowhere slipped
through. 'Get some zone-troopers online. We have some hunting to
do' His adjutant scurried away looking for any excuse to get out
of the room while Serpt vented.
..-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-..
Kingview... Elvis sightings...
Tue, 15 Oct 1996 22:08:09 alt.elvis.sighting
antipodean elvis
mu...@melb.alexia.net.au Elaine Miller at Alexia--Open Affordable Internet
At the Melbourne Cup last year. Wearing the same hat that the governor
general's wife had. Looked to me as if he might have picked a loser.
Saw him use racing form to wipe away grease from deep fried banana
sandwich.
The King is in Oz. The King is upside down.
'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-._
Tue, 29 Oct 1996 07:45:38 alt.elvis.sighting
Lisa Marie's Double
ln...@wyoming.com Larry Nash at wyoming.com LLC
Last week I heard on WNBC that little Lisa Marie was shipped off
to Europe and replaced with a double when she was just a tot.
The guy being interviewed said the "Evil Lisa Marie" was the one
that drank, did drugs and married that reconstructed Jacksonian.
The real Lisa Marie will come out of hiding, soon, and reveal
the truth.
Very interesting -
I have a call in to get the King's take on this - and will keep
you posted if I am allowed.
Set your decoder rings to R6, G3, H1 and B5.
N.
..-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-.__.-'~~`-..
Credits...
Assembling: Doghead and El Damo
Fiction: Doghead and El Damo
Contributions in this issue:
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land...@telerama.lm.com
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