Google Groups no longer supports new Usenet posts or subscriptions. Historical content remains viewable.
Dismiss

handling emotions

3 views
Skip to first unread message

ajna

unread,
Nov 11, 2003, 2:34:25 AM11/11/03
to
I get negative emotions. Frustration, sadness etc... It's quite easy
for me not to express these or to dump them on others, but my problem
is that they alway keep inside of me eating me for a while. I am aware
of them but I can't get rid of them. Then they affect me physically.
My shoulders get jammed and my forehead gets strained.

The main problem may be my thinking patterns. Things like relationship
cause these for me. So maybe if I could effectively change my
thinking, they wouldn't appear, but that would need really a great big
change! This kind of detachment is very difficult to attain in a short
time.

So I was thinking if I can somehow work with my emotions so they
wouldn't effect on me so much. I can really feel the effect they have
on my physical body.

Any ideas?

seeking

unread,
Nov 11, 2003, 8:59:58 AM11/11/03
to
hi ajna,

I'd say, add discipline in there cause it does help so much. The
nature of the discipline chosen may be an individual thing.
Routine is grounding.

When hormone levels rise they follow their course like all things that
rise and fall.

Study provides insight into the nature of things.

Again I like the river metaphor. Blocking the flow just builds up
pressure.

There is an attitude of being grateful truly for everything that
happens and the lesson in it.
There is a lesson in everything .... the beauty of life is ability to
learn.

When I feel angry like that it is hard to contain it. I feel like a
panting dog. { monster spewing out acid :-) }
Panting breath helps. (Bhastrika)
http://www.indiangyan.com/books/yogabooks/yogic_prayama/what_is_pranayama.shtml
http://www.holistic-online.com/Yoga/hol_yoga_breathing-bhastika.htm

It does make sense to reflect on how we got into the situation.
What energy are we attracting to ourselves and why.
It helps to examine our behavior to see how it serves us or doesn't
serve us. Also we can fall in negative patterns that we need to get
out of.

Ya know. I bet u know all this. It's like we can know something
intellectually but the practice of it is hard.

That needy insistent nature needs to be disciplined but also it does
need to be understood as well. It too is part of a cycle of our own
creation ... a kind of emotional storm. I do see it as a jungian
psychological complex.

seeking.

I could just shit

unread,
Nov 11, 2003, 10:21:32 AM11/11/03
to

"ajna" <tomaeoahi...@surfeu.fi> wrote in message
news:b36a0866.03111...@posting.google.com...

I don't know what 'level' , so to speak , that you may be identifying with
at this particular time, but I find it helpful to totally dis-identify from
the stifling triumvirate of body-mind-consciousness. At a certain point in
one's spiritual seeking, one finds that one is definitely not the body, and
the mind and consciousness are only available even with a body only part of
the time. If it is 'my' body, 'my' mind and 'my' consciousness, the same
holding true for 'my' spirit and 'my' soul, as such, all these things are
simply things that are in my awareness and are truely not what " I " *am*.
Identification with any of these things brings a postponement to
discrimination and discernment when one is seeking one's true nature as
such.


omjaroo

unread,
Nov 11, 2003, 2:33:47 PM11/11/03
to
In article <b36a0866.03111...@posting.google.com>,
tomaeoahi...@surfeu.fi (ajna) wrote:

Hi,

I create frustration, anger and sadness when I fear that I wonšt get
what I want or need. Their expression is a habitual hold-over from
childhood. A form of the resistance, whining and crying I used as
children to force the adults around me to give me what I wanted.

Ahhaa... I realized as I was working on my response to your post that a
large part of my interest in self realization and enlightenment is
really about an unwillingness to do the work of growing up and taking
personal responsibility for myself; in this world, in the here and now.
Thank you :-)

My struggle with my emotions is about growing up and taking
responsibility for myself. To let go of breath holding tantrums,
emotional blackmail and other childish strategies for gaining what I
want. To learn, work and earn what I want and not look for others to
give it to me.

Excerpt from BEYOND SUCCESS AND FAILURE, Ways to Self-reliance and
Maturity, By Willard and Marguerite Beecher.\

1/The feeling of deprivation.

How is one to know when he is in a dangerous situation of dependency?
What warning signal has nature provided us so that we know when we are
leaning, expecting, envying, comparing or begging? How shall we know
whey we have abdicated our own initiative and have put another head
higher then our own? Is there an unmistakable sign that always
accompanies dependency, so that we immediately know when we have stepped
backward into the childšs passive-receptive approach to life instead of
maintaining an adult, active and productive role?
Fortunately, such a signal exists. It is quite unmistakable, and its
effect is as immediate as when a small cloud passed over the face of the
sun on a summer day. A person feels expansive, confident and adequate
while he is in his active self-reliant phase. But the moment he compares
himself to someone, whose head he puts higher then his own, he feels a
chill. He is suddenly aware that he feels deprived, empty, lonely, weak,
defenseless, inadequate, put back or frightened. Just as if he had
suddenly lost his power to meet life, and the situation in front of him
seems dangerous or, at the best, unrewarding. The feeling of contentment
has suddenly disappeared.

Namaste

Wade Humeniuk

unread,
Nov 11, 2003, 7:25:02 PM11/11/03
to
omjaroo wrote:
>
> My struggle with my emotions is about growing up and taking
> responsibility for myself. To let go of breath holding tantrums,
> emotional blackmail and other childish strategies for gaining what I
> want. To learn, work and earn what I want and not look for others to
> give it to me.

The worst of which is blackmailing "God". An example of which is playing
the victim long enough that "God" will come save you. Or dissing the world
enough that "God" will approve of your railing and promote one to more
spiritual matters.

Wade

anon

unread,
Nov 11, 2003, 10:31:25 PM11/11/03
to

"ajna" <tomaeoahi...@surfeu.fi> wrote in message
news:b36a0866.03111...@posting.google.com...
> I get negative emotions. Frustration, sadness etc... It's quite easy
>
> Any ideas?

have faith. pray for guidance. seek and ye shall find.


omjaroo

unread,
Nov 11, 2003, 11:03:24 PM11/11/03
to
In article <y5fsb.30908$jy.9477@clgrps13>,
Wade Humeniuk <whum...@delete-this-antispam-device.telus.net> wrote:

Agreed!

Namaste

ajna

unread,
Nov 12, 2003, 3:23:51 AM11/12/03
to
Thanks for your answers.

I feel that omarjoo put it best: "it's really about an unwillingness


to do the work of growing up and taking personal responsibility for
myself; in this world, in the here and now."

I think that should strive to be more consciouss of myself and of the
situation but when being in a middle of a emotional storm it's really
hard.

omjaroo

unread,
Nov 12, 2003, 10:58:13 AM11/12/03
to


Willingness, awareness, ownership, practiceŠ

I have noticed that when I am upset, if I can ask (willingness) and
honestly answer (awareness) the question, what am I afraid of, then the
emotional storm evaporates. This happens because in reality anger, hurt,
resentment, depression, loneliness, sorrow and pain are secondary
expressions/reactions of fear, intended to obscure (not take
responsibility for) the real cause. Once I have identified and taken
responsibility for (ownership of) my fear I can address it as best I can
without any need to, externalize, blame or hurt anyone (including
myself). The first time I was able to do this I was amazed. I realized
that I could be free, that it was never about anything outside of
myself. I create the reactions to fear. I create the fear that creates
the reactions. If I create the fear then I can let it go. If I am
willing to take ownership, to learn what I need to be aware and to
practice letting go, then I could free myself from my dependant need for
attention and the endless possibilities for emotional torment.

Attention.

Pay attention to me, please.
I canąt exist unless you notice.

Pay attention to me or Iąll scream, kick, cry, vomit and whine.
Iąll be unhappy and Iąll make you unhappy too.
Iąll hurt my self. I really will.

Donąt ask me how.
You canąt lie or trick me. I know whatąs real.
The drugs, cigarettes, candy, danger and sex are real.

Donąt shoot! Iąll stop.

Iąm all right now.
Iąve found a friend with a firm grip, to quiet, encourage and protect
me.

Expensive... I know.

My liver and heart. My mind. My money.
I donąt know what else there is. The price of fear is... so high.


Possibilities

I donąt want to be unhappy
I donąt want to be sick
I donąt want pain
I donąt want to die

In the absence of heat, cold

I donąt want to make a mistake, because
I donąt want to feel humiliation
I donąt want to be vulnerable because
I donąt want to lose

In the absence of light, darkness

I donąt want to be criticized and
I donąt want to fail so
I donąt want to try but
I donąt want to be ignored

In the absence of God, fear

I donąt want to tell the truth, because
I donąt want to feel shame
I donąt want my past haunting me and
I donąt want my future uncertain

So I shiver in the cold and cower in the darkness, paralyzed by fear
because
In the absence of what I want , all that I donąt , comes to me in
endless possibilities

Like anything else the more I face my fear (practice) the easier and
quicker it becomes. Over time I have even trained my friends to ask me,
when I get agitated, angry or depressed, Jared, what are you afraid of?
They think they are being funny but they are giving me a wonderful gift.
The gift of sight outside of my emotional reaction and a nudge towards
the truth should I choose to take it.

By the way, thanks for sharing your poems, I enjoyed them. I wanted to
respond in kind but donąt have any poems which express a happier more
balanced time in my life. May be it's time to write some :-)

Namaste

ajna

unread,
Nov 13, 2003, 2:39:24 AM11/13/03
to
> Willingness, awareness, ownership, practice?

>
> I have noticed that when I am upset, if I can ask (willingness) and
> honestly answer (awareness) the question, what am I afraid of, then the
> emotional storm evaporates. This happens because in reality anger, hurt,
> resentment, depression, loneliness, sorrow and pain are secondary
> expressions/reactions of fear, intended to obscure (not take
> responsibility for) the real cause.


True.
I have learned my worst fear right now and something else about myself
lately.
Hardest part is the work.

It's funny. Many times you know yourself what it's all about but it
helps to hear it from someone other... Strange. Stupid maybe?


> By the way, thanks for sharing your poems, I enjoyed them. I wanted to

> respond in kind but donšt have any poems which express a happier more

> balanced time in my life. May be it's time to write some :-)


Well that "I've missed you so much" wasn't mine. It's Tool's song
"Third Eye." You should hear it. It affects me very strongly.

I do write poems and too and song also to my band. But they are all in
Finnish. :)

Hari Har Singh

unread,
Nov 17, 2003, 7:52:36 PM11/17/03
to

"ajna" <tomaeoahi...@surfeu.fi> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
news:b36a0866.03111...@posting.google.com...

> Any ideas?

Give Byron Katies "The Work" a try: www.thework.com

Sat Nam - Hari Har Singh


ajna

unread,
Nov 18, 2003, 5:56:08 AM11/18/03
to
> Give Byron Katies "The Work" a try: www.thework.com


I'll look that.


Btw. Where have you been?

ajna

unread,
Nov 18, 2003, 6:34:18 AM11/18/03
to
> Give Byron Katies "The Work" a try: www.thework.com


I read the information from the web pages. The main idea of the
questions and the turnaround. I was reading the form and when I got to
the heading "turnaround" I guessed immediately what was the next part.
It's funny idea but a really good one. Basically the ideas seem very
much like what I thought: to be consciouss at the moment one starts to
get affected by the emotions.

The hard part is that the understanding must be on every level. If I
intellectually know that "I shouldn't think or feel like this" it's
not enough. But I don't really know how it comes, maybe just by
experience.

G.I.Gurdjieff said something like: "Intellect is the water, body is
the flour but emotion is the fire that makes the bread."


-ajna

Hari Har Singh

unread,
Nov 18, 2003, 8:56:20 AM11/18/03
to

"ajna" <tomaeoahi...@surfeu.fi> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
news:b36a0866.0311...@posting.google.com...

> > Give Byron Katies "The Work" a try: www.thework.com
>
>
> I'll look that.
>

OK Good!


> Btw. Where have you been?

My System had a major breakdown - hard-disk-failure - and I had to
re-install the whole system.
Did you know that the usual IDE Harddisc is only build to last 11 hours a
day?
My Computer is running 24hours 7days a week - now i don't wonder anymore why
i sometimes have harddisc crashs!

Until now I didn't had the time to reconfigure my newsreading software :-)


Hari Har Singh


Hari Har Singh

unread,
Nov 18, 2003, 8:59:00 AM11/18/03
to

"ajna" <tomaeoahi...@surfeu.fi> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
news:b36a0866.03111...@posting.google.com...
> > Give Byron Katies "The Work" a try: www.thework.com
>
>
> I read the information from the web pages. The main idea of the
> questions and the turnaround. I was reading the form and when I got to
> the heading "turnaround" I guessed immediately what was the next part.
> It's funny idea but a really good one. Basically the ideas seem very
> much like what I thought: to be consciouss at the moment one starts to
> get affected by the emotions.
>
> The hard part is that the understanding must be on every level. If I
> intellectually know that "I shouldn't think or feel like this" it's
> not enough. But I don't really know how it comes, maybe just by
> experience.

Yes, it is maybe good in the beginning for a view times to try this with
another person.
But it also comes through experience and really can become an effective tool
for you!
I was surprised how effective this can be.


> G.I.Gurdjieff said something like: "Intellect is the water, body is
> the flour but emotion is the fire that makes the bread."

OK, let's bake some fine stuff now!

Yum!

;-)


Hari Har Singh


0 new messages