Things you learn when you have sons

[Nell]

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already
too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super Glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends,
with or without kids.

25.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.

--
Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat.
~~Socrates

[ladako]

Clorox and brake fluid---I've been meaning to try that.

"Nell" <nelly...@atnowhere.com> wrote in message
news:mn.09a17d85f...@atnowhere.com...

[Dennis]

I definitely believe #25.

[ladako]

I hope it doesn't blow up in your face. ?!!

"Dennis" <den...@bright.net> wrote in message
news:Uq2dnetu09FnJITV...@bright.net...

[phys...@earthlink.net]

It didn't do anything. :-D

[Carol]

I remember learning that a 90 pound woman (in much younger days) can heave a
smoldering mattress out a bedroom window because that little fire
extinguisher in a can takes away nothing but your breath.

"Nell" <nelly...@atnowhere.com> wrote in message
news:mn.09a17d85f...@atnowhere.com...

[Dennis]

There has to be a good, "rest of the story" here... lol

[lindymimi]

Had to send this to Tara, not to imply that my 3 Grandsons are not
perfect in every way! LOL!

On May 1, 7:47 am, "ladako" <lad...@earthlink.net> wrote:
> Clorox and brake fluid---I've been meaning to try that.
>

> "Nell" <nellybl...@atnowhere.com> wrote in message

> > ~~Socrates- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

[Carol]

My son loved to play with fire. When he almost 5 he set the mattress on
fire and at least he came and told me. I ran and closed the door to my
little girl's room (which instantly set the 11-month-old's screams and
tears) and grabbed the little canned fire extinguisher I'd bought from some
school group and it immediately choked me. I ran and got a pot and filled
it with water and it didn't help at all. It was gonna take a lot of pots.
So I opened the window, knocked out the screen, and heaved the mattress out
to where I get to it with the hose. A couple of years later a neighbor
called DPS on me because she saw him lighting matches behind the house.
When he was 14 I found scorch marks on the upper frame of his bunk bed where
he was burning something in his lower on. So he didn't learn a thing. But
he's survived and so have I.

"Dennis" <den...@bright.net> wrote in message

news:iridnVAKDdfgSoTV...@bright.net...

[Dennis]

My step son was a potential fire bug. He finally git away from it.

[ladako]

How in the hell could you shove a mattress out a window???? I'd have a jolly
time trying to do that! Small mattress or a large window?

"Carol" <cat09...@charter.net> wrote in message
news:rYkSj.26$W73...@newsfe06.lga...

[Carol]

I guess the adrenaline just kicked in. I don't even know how I got the
window up or the screen off.

"ladako" <lad...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:nZudnc-hML_HBofV...@earthlink.com...

[Dennis]

My odds on doing that are slim. I got a queen size bed and a window
I barely could climb through in my bedroom.

[Jo in Ok]

having had 3 boys myself, I know they are notarious for getting into
trouble-most times not meaning to...
found out later some of the stuff they did and it amazed me they made
it to adulthood! sadly though,
my youngest son did die at 18 years of age in an auto wreck but had
cops tell me they believe he feel
asleep at the wheel... ; (

[Kelly]

The death of ones child has got to be the hardest thing for a parent
to go through. The same thing happened to a cousin of mine when her
son was 18. Beyond sad :-(

> asleep at the wheel... ; (- Hide quoted text -