Things That Irritate A Sane Person

[N.A.G.]

You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid
little plastic thing in the middle of them.

The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into
the back of your ankle.

The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.

There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing
down to find an address.

You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.

It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't
realize it till you walk across your living room rug.

The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works
for you.

There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.

You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.

Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the
mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front
tooth.

[gerald]

Hey I am crazy and those things irritate the hell out of me.

--
Gerald
Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.

N.A.G. <blu...@privacy.nu> wrote in message
news:qHqq7.19195$4W6.6...@typhoon.southeast.rr.com...

[N.A.G.]

The lid on the can of soup is the worse. It's beyond irritating... it's
downright infuriating!

"gerald" <gkoh...@home.com> wrote in message
news:gGrq7.33604$5A3.11...@news1.rdc2.pa.home.com...

[gerald]

Well the solution is to drink it cold, you can keep pushing the
lid down as you eat. That way you don't have to get your fingers
messy by taking it out only to have to put it back in when you are done.
What can i say, I have an inventive mind.

--
Gerald
Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.

N.A.G. <blu...@privacy.nu> wrote in message

news:JIrq7.9935$0x.23...@typhoon.southeast.rr.com...

[N.A.G.]

But what about the <shudder> chunks???

"gerald" <gkoh...@home.com> wrote in message

news:nNrq7.33682$5A3.11...@news1.rdc2.pa.home.com...

[gerald]

Well after you get a little of the soup out you can tip the lid so it is upright
and then you can stick a fork in for the chunky stuff.

Is this really a way for adults to behave, I could be doing something
constructive or anoying my wife.

--
Gerald
Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.

N.A.G. <blu...@privacy.nu> wrote in message

news:I9sq7.363828$TM5.54...@typhoon.southeast.rr.com...

[N.A.G.]

You don't think giving me tips on how to eat cold soup out of a can is
constructive? Well then....

"gerald" <gkoh...@home.com> wrote in message

news:7msq7.33858$5A3.11...@news1.rdc2.pa.home.com...

[Aerogram]

Some guy named Wellbeyond had a similar list a year ago.

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"N.A.G." <blu...@privacy.nu> wrote in message
news:qHqq7.19195$4W6.6...@typhoon.southeast.rr.com...
>
>

[N.A.G.]

Could be. I just copy and paste them, I really don't research them
thoroughly, though.

"Aerogram" <aero...@home.com> wrote in message
news:_7uq7.54484$sM1.14...@news3.rdc1.on.home.com...

[Aerogram]

I thought so. And they say I have a bad memory.... Fudge em.

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"N.A.G." <blu...@privacy.nu> wrote in message

news:Q9uq7.10131$0x.24...@typhoon.southeast.rr.com...

[N.A.G.]

If you remember a list from last year, your memory's better than mine.

"Aerogram" <aero...@home.com> wrote in message

news:dwuq7.54597$sM1.14...@news3.rdc1.on.home.com...

[manateefan]

No, I gotta say the poop accross the rug is the worst..........and w/three
dogs her it's been done several times by several family members!!!!!

Peg

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit
there.

N.A.G. <blu...@privacy.nu> wrote in message

news:JIrq7.9935$0x.23...@typhoon.southeast.rr.com...

[N.A.G.]

Yea, I've gotta admit, that's a bad 'un.
Something I've gotta clean up all of the time, too.

"manateefan" <seac...@att.net> wrote in message
news:sVIq7.3465$WW.3...@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...

[-=Bitey=-]

I don't have to do that anymore. Now its dog puke on the carpet. Do they
not EVER puke on the linoleum?

--
-=Bitey=-
I am immortal.. so far..

[N.A.G.]

Never in my whole dog-owning existance have they puked on the linoleum.
Physics? No... just sheer antagonism .

"-=Bitey=-" <bi...@privacyX.com> wrote in message
news:3BABAAC1...@privacyX.com...

[-=Bitey=-]

/me flipping through Dog Book of Rules. See? Here it is, rule #34:
Puke\shit\spill\eat greasy meat only on the carpet. I KNEW it!! Oh,
will ya look at this one.. Rule #35: Tear up porn magazines all over the
house..

[N.A.G.]

heheheheh Yea, they go by the book, allright. I just vacuumed the living
room and the bedroom [in that order] While doing the bedroom, Shabba chewed
up a piece of wood in the living room. Now there are splinters all in the
carpet. [rule #67 Allow NO room to be freshly vacuumed for more than 10
minutes]

"-=Bitey=-" <bi...@privacyX.com> wrote in message

news:3BABB44C...@privacyX.com...

[manateefan]

Good God no....that'd make it too easy for you. If one of mine happens to
be on the tile & can't make it to the REAL carpet...and I swear this is true
of all three of them.......they hit the very nearest throw rug....God forbid
it be on the tile for easy cleanup!!!!! Same goes for the darned
cat....

Peg

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit
there.

-=Bitey=- <bi...@privacyX.com> wrote in message
news:3BABAAC1...@privacyX.com...

[-=Bitey=-]

A friend gave me three stuffed dolls for the dog. Stupid me checked
to see if any parts could be easily bitten off - they couldn't- and
gave them to the dog. Well! The stuffing that is inside these dolls
is the kind that you can't pick or vacuum up all of it. You have to
get on your hands and knees and sccrrraaaape it together before you
can pick it up. It started in the bedroom, went down the hall and got
into the living room before I noticed. <sigh> I feel like I have
another kid living with us now, and a toddler at that. Manthing just
spent $30.00 to have Fritz groomed, 20 bucks on dog toys and another
5 bucks for treats at the pet store that is oh so conveniently
located adjacent to the dog groomer. I think Manthing wants to go to
this groomer in Modesto so we have to spend at least two hours there
because it is too far to go home and wait. What better way to kill
time than to blow money in a huge pet store?

--
-=Bitey=-
http://Biteybits.port5.com
Meddle ye not in the affairs of Bitey, mortal, for
thou art crunchy and will taste well with ketchup.

[Oneson]

Our lil' dog pukes too. Wonder why that is?
Could have been the antifreeze I gave him...................
<^. .^>
' '
-=Bitey=- wrote in message <3BABAAC1...@privacyX.com>...

[Oneson]

-=Bitey=- wrote in message <3BABB44C...@privacyX.com>...

>/me flipping through Dog Book of Rules. See? Here it is, rule #34:
>Puke\shit\spill\eat greasy meat only on the carpet. I KNEW it!! Oh,
>will ya look at this one.. Rule #35: Tear up porn magazines all over the

>house and carry pictures of penisis in their mouths..

[tac/mokosh]

I would be wondering why my dogs puked so much...
)O(
--
"Are we allowed to eat these men?"

"manateefan" <seac...@att.net> wrote in message

news:VZSq7.4860$W8.4...@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...

> Good God no....that'd make it too easy for you. If one of mine happens to
> be on the tile & can't make it to the REAL carpet...and I swear this is
true
> of all three of them.......they hit the very nearest throw rug....God
forbid
> it be on the tile for easy cleanup!!!!! Same goes for the
darned
> cat....
>
> Peg
>
> Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit
> there.
>
>
> -=Bitey=- <bi...@privacyX.com> wrote in message
> news:3BABAAC1...@privacyX.com...
> > I don't have to do that anymore. Now its dog puke on the carpet. Do they
> > not EVER puke on the linoleum?
> >
> > "N.A.G." wrote:
> > >
> > > Yea, I've gotta admit, that's a bad 'un.
> > > Something I've gotta clean up all of the time, too.
> > >

snip

[Zeb]

you ever eat dog food?...
I'd puke too...
<bg>

--
Zeb

I got a good memory, but it's short
tac/mokosh <mok...@hyperaction.net> wrote in message
news:9oi1i...@enews1.newsguy.com...

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[Oneson]

Had him checked out by two vets. He is physically ok.

tac/mokosh wrote in message <9oi1i...@enews1.newsguy.com>...

[tac/mokosh]

/\_/\
/ , , \
/ O \
////U\\\\
// \\

My Puppy.

Hasn't puked yet...

)O(
--
"Are we allowed to eat these men?"

"Zeb" <zeb...@home.ca> wrote in message
news:3bac8...@corp.newsgroups.com...

[-=Bitey=-]

look what you did! Things that irritate a sane person!!

--

[-=Bitey=-]

LMAO!

--

[-=Bitey=-]

My puppy likes to try out new things, like what strange plants
growing in the backyard taste like as well as anything I'm eating.
Spaghetti with tomato sauce is NOT good for a dog. I found that out
when cleaning it up off the carpet. Cucumbers, tomatoes and green
peppers seem to sit well on his stomach though. He ~loves~ raw green
peppers and is a slut for corn chips.

--

[-=Bitey=-]

You DID NOT! You love animals.

--

[Oneson]

<BG> YUP!

-=Bitey=- wrote in message <3BAD17A1...@privacyX.com>...

[Oneson]

I know that dear......

-=Bitey=- wrote in message <3BAD18FB...@privacyX.com>...

[-=Bitey=-]

Brat! Hey, can I borrow some vasoline?

[-=Bitey=-]

LOL! I ~love~ your header. <g>

[Oneson]

Depends on what you wanna use it for.
I have many diff flavors..............

-=Bitey=- wrote in message <3BAD52C4...@privacyX.com>...

[Oneson]

LOL That is an old one. I thought I had changed it/

-=Bitey=- wrote in message <3BAD5313...@privacyX.com>...

[-=Bitey=-]

Why change it? Its cute!

[-=Bitey=-]

Flavors? Bwahahahahahahaha!! <composes self> uhm.. I'd like cherry,
please.

[Zeb]

must be feeding him real food...;-)

--
Zeb

I got a good memory, but it's short
tac/mokosh <mok...@hyperaction.net> wrote in message

news:9oi8q...@enews4.newsguy.com...

[Zeb]

;-))

--
Zeb

I got a good memory, but it's short

-=Bitey=- <bi...@privacyX.com> wrote in message

news:3BAD17D5...@privacyX.com...

[tac/mokosh]

"Eukanuba Large Breed Puppy...the Pukeless Puppy Food!" They could make a
mint on that kind of ad. Or another mint...the stuff is expensive as hell.

)O(
--
"Are we allowed to eat these men?"

"Zeb" <zeb...@home.ca> wrote in message

news:3bade...@corp.newsgroups.com...

[Oneson]

LOL I like this one too.

-=Bitey=- wrote in message <3BAD5FB0...@privacyX.com>...

[Oneson]

*whipping some cherry out*
Here ya go.

-=Bitey=- wrote in message <3BAD5FFA...@privacyX.com>...

[Zeb]

yep,I know that price thing all too well
Toby's on pet tec costs $34.95 for 18 kilo.s(bout 40 lbs)every week
along w/ all the other good stuff...
DAMN! wish the wife fed me as well...
<bg>

--
Zeb

I got a good memory, but it's short
tac/mokosh <mok...@hyperaction.net> wrote in message

news:9okt7...@enews1.newsguy.com...

[-=Bitey=-]

Thanks! Now c'mere.. <veg>

[Oneson]

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

-=Bitey=- wrote in message <3BAED686...@privacyX.com>...

[manateefan]

Oh for heavens sake............I'm talking over a period of YEARS......:)

--

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit
there.

tac/mokosh <mok...@hyperaction.net> wrote in message
news:9oi1i...@enews1.newsguy.com...

[manateefan]

Trust me, it's just a matter of time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peg

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit
there.

tac/mokosh <mok...@hyperaction.net> wrote in message

news:9oi8q...@enews4.newsguy.com...

[-=Bitey=-]

You like cherry too, huh? WOW, you DO like cherry!!

[-=Bitey=-]

Yeah, it doesn't happen too often but it is memorable every time.

--

[Rev. N.A.G.]

'Specially with *big* dogs like mine. They don't just puke a little bit...
oh no... when they puke, they PUKE.

"-=Bitey=-" <bi...@privacyX.com> wrote in message

news:3BAFF862...@privacyX.com...

[ziggy]

big dog= big puke
yup. got stains on my carpet that just won't come up. doofusdog likes to
eat socks and barf em up.
ugh
"Rev. N.A.G." <blu...@privacy.nu> wrote in message
news:9op0bv$80$1...@iac5.navix.net...

[tac/mokosh]

It's weird, but I had two Dalmatians (successively) who both puked quite
often, but Farfel (Giant Schnauzer) rarely did more than belch up a mouthful
of grass in Spring, and I have not seen Patiky (also Giant) vomit yet.
Hmmm...of course it could be that the one vice I never was able to break
either of the Dals of was eating every piece of garbage they could find that
wasn't red hot or nailed down (including, in ZaSu's case, half a discarded
spongecake which she promptly regurgitated all over the back seat of my
car), while the Giants seem to prefer threatening strangers (human and
otherwise) as their hobby. Quien sabe?

)O(
--
"Are we allowed to eat these men?"

"Rev. N.A.G." <blu...@privacy.nu> wrote in message
news:9op0bv$80$1...@iac5.navix.net...

[Rev. N.A.G.]

Mine eat *everything*
I think they're part goat. [hands off, Jerry]
They ate my couch cushions, foam rubber and all. They eat all the socks,
underwear etc that Gramps leaves laying around. They eat wood, rock,
concrete, and once they ate a 5 pound bag of pool grout.

"ziggy" <emalm...@routergod.com> wrote in message
news:Ol0s7.30230$Dz6.6...@e3500-atl2.usenetserver.com...

[ziggy]

bet that grout was fun on the digestive system

"Rev. N.A.G." <blu...@privacy.nu> wrote in message

news:9oqqlo$r9k$6...@iac5.navix.net...

[-=Bitey=-]

Jeez.. I thought it was bad that mine likes to chew on glass.. muzzles?

--

[Oneson]

Yesssssssssssssssss!

-=Bitey=- wrote in message <3BAFF7C3...@privacyX.com>...

[manateefan]

Yeah, I know..........Bear weighs 85 pounds and you REALLY know it when he's
been sick!!!!

Peg

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit
there.

Rev. N.A.G. <blu...@privacy.nu> wrote in message
news:9op0bv$80$1...@iac5.navix.net...

[manateefan]

pool grout?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now THAT must've been nasty coming back up!!!! (or
out; depending on which end it erupted from!!!!!)

Peg

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit
there.

Rev. N.A.G. <blu...@privacy.nu> wrote in message

news:9oqqlo$r9k$6...@iac5.navix.net...

[Rev. N.A.G.]

Oh yes, pool grout. The hardest part was training Gramps not to bring it in
the house... there's something about it that they love- for some reason.

"manateefan" <seac...@att.net> wrote in message

news:51cs7.10819$W8.9...@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...

[Rev. N.A.G.]

Outside tethers. Much better than muzzles.

"-=Bitey=-" <bi...@privacyX.com> wrote in message

news:3BB10426...@privacyX.com...

[Rev. N.A.G.]

They pooped little hard white thingys for a few days.

"ziggy" <emalm...@routergod.com> wrote in message

news:qP6s7.31437$Dz6.6...@e3500-atl2.usenetserver.com...