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LET'S GET TO KNOW THE RISEN CHRIST
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Colonel Edmund J. Burke
Oct 25, 2015, 11:46:05 AM10/25/15
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After dying, Jesus was raised from the dead and once more
walked among the living. This, of course, would only be
possible if he were a zombie; Zombie Jesus is the identity of
Jesus following the Resurrection. In zombie form, Jesus
retained his unending love for mankind, in particular, he loved
their sweet, delectable brains. Many of his followers were
surprised when, instead of offering God's salvation, Zombie
Jesus voraciously consumed their faces.
Today, it is widely believed that Jesus was the source of most
modern-day zombies. When he was resurrected, Zombie Jesus
infected his disciples with the blood of the new "Holy
Alliance", thus creating the first wave of a whole new era of
zombie mayhem, which would spread terror on a level unseen
since the infection of a cadre of elite Greek philosophers by
Zombie Plato several centuries before. This new batch of
zombies was later able to develop the Roman Catholic Church,
after the political elite of the Roman Empire were zombified by
Alberto the Great (who was actually a zombie-vampire hybrid
created by Constantine with the help of his right hand man,
Albert Einstein). It is widely known that the modern Catholic
Church is full of zombies, with its highest position of
authority occupied by a hive-mind zombie-vampire referred to as
the "Zombie Pope", or just "Pope" for short.
"He died for your sins. He's back for your brains."
walked among the living. This, of course, would only be
possible if he were a zombie; Zombie Jesus is the identity of
Jesus following the Resurrection. In zombie form, Jesus
retained his unending love for mankind, in particular, he loved
their sweet, delectable brains. Many of his followers were
surprised when, instead of offering God's salvation, Zombie
Jesus voraciously consumed their faces.
Today, it is widely believed that Jesus was the source of most
modern-day zombies. When he was resurrected, Zombie Jesus
infected his disciples with the blood of the new "Holy
Alliance", thus creating the first wave of a whole new era of
zombie mayhem, which would spread terror on a level unseen
since the infection of a cadre of elite Greek philosophers by
Zombie Plato several centuries before. This new batch of
zombies was later able to develop the Roman Catholic Church,
after the political elite of the Roman Empire were zombified by
Alberto the Great (who was actually a zombie-vampire hybrid
created by Constantine with the help of his right hand man,
Albert Einstein). It is widely known that the modern Catholic
Church is full of zombies, with its highest position of
authority occupied by a hive-mind zombie-vampire referred to as
the "Zombie Pope", or just "Pope" for short.
"He died for your sins. He's back for your brains."
Jack G.
Oct 25, 2015, 1:19:39 PM10/25/15
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Colonel Edmund J. Burke
Oct 25, 2015, 2:56:54 PM10/25/15
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