Terror alert levels

[The Family Chauffeur]

Found on another NG. Thought some may find it amusing.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message
news:1184657540....@x35g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
> The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
> threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to
> "Peeved".
> Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated"
> or
> even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the
> blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have
> been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last
> time the British issued "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during
> the
> great fire of 1666.
>
> Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
> terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in
> France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by
> a
> recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
> paralyzing the country's military capability.
>
> It is not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of
> alert. Italy has increased the alert It's level from "Shout Loudly and
> Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:
> "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
>
> The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful
> Arrogance"
> to"Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two
> higher
> levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
>
> Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
> threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
>
> The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
> deploy.
> These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish
> Navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
>