Trip Report : Day 3 - Suck for a Buck

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Apr 2, 1999, 3:00:00 AM4/2/99
Vegas ‘99 3/10-3/15

This is one of those long-winded trip reports. I don't list every item on a
buffet, but I write what I can remember from the trip.. This gets more
difficult as the trip progresses. Alcohol tends to build up to toxic levels by
Day 4, killing many brain cells and leaving vague visions of what we did. But
I'll do my best.

Cast of characters;
Me - 34 SWM
Greg - 34 SWM
Carey - 33 MWF
We're all old college buddies who do the Vegas think once a year to bet on the
opening weekend of the basketball tournament.

Friday 3/12

We slept in a little bit, at least for a Vegas trip. Greg was playing golf
and I was going to do my own thing until mid-afternoon. We both headed up to
the 22 club for the free breakfast. I got what I expected, a continental style
buffet of muffins, danish, croissants, fruit and cereal with coffee, tea or
juice. The food was fine, there were free newspapers scattered around and the
TVs were on ESPN and the basketball coverage. Greg was expecting some hot
foods, eggs and bacon, and so was disappointed by this feature of the 22 club.

As we headed downstairs to make some morning bets on the basketball games I
realized that I had left my MVP card in a slot machine last night. I quickly
stopped by to check but it wasn’t there. (what do the casinos do when they
find an abandoned slot card?) I headed back to the slot desk to get a
replacement. After all, our sportsbook bets were being tracked! The friendly
face at the desk made me 2 cards this time around. Back to the sportsbook but
the line was so long that Greg thought he might miss his tee time. I took his
order and wished him a great round while I stood in line. One note: Another
reason I prefer the BC ‘book to Bally’s is this problem with the line. At BC
any ticketwriter could take any bet, pony or basketball. At Bally’s half the
ticket writers were doing horses only, and there weren’t that many folks in the
Pony Only line. Management surely has to keep the local, everyday pony bettors
happy, but a little balance in the lines would have relieved the pressure.
Total time in line to make the morning bets? 25 minutes from start to finish.
Fortunately a cool older guy got in line behind me, started grousing and we
struck up a conversation. He had some great stories and the time in line
passed quickly.

The Bally’s sportsbook was packed as usual. And as already stated the drink
service was being run by Carrie Nation. So I headed back over to Barbary Coast
for some $3 hand dealt BJ. The hoops were rocking and I needed a couple more
wins for my underdog special to pay off. I played BJ and watched hoops for 2
hours or so, enjoying the company of the dealers and the fellow players. It
was one of those cool sessions were wins and losses balance each other out, you
just sit, drink and have a good time for free. I picked up and headed back the
Bally’s for some lunch and to check the room for messages for our 3rd friend
arriving today. She hadn’t arrived yet so I chose the Japanese place in the
Bally’s food court for lunch. It was decent, not great. I had the box lunch
special which consisted of tempuraed shrimp and vegetables. Another mediocre
meal on this trip! Just as I finished lunch several of the morning (now
afternoon) games came to a head including the Miami, OH, Oklahoma and S’west
Missouri upsets. I had done it! My underdog special had come in! For those
who care, I bet all 12 of the #12,13 & 14 seeds to win straight up. With
Detroit, Weber St., S’west Missouri & Oklahoma winning I had made a 25% return
on my bet.

I headed up to the room and had a message from Carey that she had arrived. We
did a quick catch-up on family and friends before heading downstairs for some
table action. We did a little of everything this session; roulette, BJ, Let it
Ride and some Triple Play slots for a few hours. As 5pm and the start of 22
club cocktail hour started we went back to the room. Greg returned from golf
almost simultaneously. Although only Greg and I had 22 club cards the three of
us walked in, flashed 2 cards and Carey joined us without a problem. Being the
closet lush that she is Carey was excited to see the premium liquors and the
three of us sat down and started pounding. It wasn’t even a problem to drink a
lot. We took turns getting drinks for the group, so you only had to get up
every third round, unless you wanted food. Again we took advantage of the
happy hour food spread and pretty much ate enough to qualify as dinner. We
stayed right up until they put the alcohol away and shooed us out the door.
Last call at 8pm!

I talked the group into walking over to O’Shea’s were Greg could have his
favorite beer, Guinness on tap. O’Shea’s was pretty busy as were all the
casinos this weekend. Greg and Carey spotted a LIR table with 2 seats and sat
down to play. I really wanted to play some craps but had no luck finding a
table. I wandered back to the LIR table and just hung out watching my friends
play. Greg was getting that New York City sarcasm going because in the 15
minutes he’d been sitting there no cocktail waitress had come by. Another 5
minutes went by and just about the time I got a seat with them to play LIR, the
waitress came by. We all ordered and it was another 10 minutes or more before
she returned with our drinks. Greg downed his in less than 60 seconds but had
forgotten to order another one so he was drink-less again. He was getting
loud, not crude or anything, just unable to notice his volume control. I
eventually paid both waitresses to back him up with beers. When I offered a
few dollars if they’d just give him the Guinness on their trays to help shut
him up they both chimed in, “Gladly”. That definitely helped. We played for
several hours, maybe from 8:30 to 11 or so when I hit 3 of a kind. I’ve never
had more than a pair at LIR so I quickly cashed out and got up. Carey wanted
to eat something but Greg wanted to play out his remaining chips and wait for
his last beer order to arrive. While I waited and watched, a guy at the table
hit a full house (11 to 1 I think) but the dealer mis-payed him. I happened to
catch it and let the player know (he was almost as drunk as Greg) in time to
get it corrected. I forget what the correction was worth but it was more than
$100 mistake.

We left O'Shea's and as we walked down the sidewalk I caught a glimpse of a
young lady with some sort of posterboard sign around her neck. I called her
over to take her picture and standing before us was a lovely young blonde in a
skimpy dress. Her sign stated that she was getting married next week and to
"please give me what I need".
1. Suck for a buck
2. Body shots off my .....???
3. A pair of men's underwear
4. Someone to place a bet for me hoping I get lucky
5. Show me what I'm going to be missing.
I've got a great picture of this pretty thing posing with her sign and on the
edge of both sides of the picture you can see a few hands holding $$ jutting
into the frame. I think Greg and I were too surprised to immediately take
advantage of the situation. He was drunk and I was busy trying to record the
moment on film. Up until now I hadn't realized how much Carey had consumed.
She jumped in front of us both holding out a dollar claiming that she wanted to
suck for a buck. The young lady smiled and pointed to a candy necklace she was
wearing saying that for $1 you could suck off a piece of candy. I was lost in
thought about just which part of her anatomy would best work for a free grope
and body shot when I noticed Carey going in for the candy. The young woman's
eyes suddenly got really large and as Carey pulled back the woman hurriedly
scampered away before Greg and I could spend any money on her. (I thought for
sure Greg was going to giver her his boxers right there on the strip). I asked
Carey what had happened to scare her off. Carey answered with a drunken slur,
"I think I licked her neck".

Finally we headed over to Caesar’s Palace for some late night eats. I was
pushing for the Stage Deli but we took a turn that led us to the Cheesecake
Factory. Carey had eaten in one before and I had heard good things about it
from the newsgroup. I barely remember the atmosphere, if any. The place
wasn’t crowded at all (of course it was midnight) but our waitress was friendly
nonetheless. It was painfully apparent how drunk Greg was although it was
funny drunk not annoying or sickly drunk. She played along with his lame jokes
and comments and earned a big tip for it. Dinner was some Texas egg rolls and
a cheese bread pizza for appetizers. I had a friend shrimp Po’Boy, Greg had
some sort of Pasta with 3 cheeses and I don't remember what Carey had. Mine
was good, easily the best food of the trip so far. We had a round of Russian
Quaalude shooters for dessert and asked for the bill. When it arrived I looked
it over and saw two meals that we didn’t have on our ticket. the waitress
apologized, saying she had inadvertently put another table’s food on our tab.
Hopefully it was an oversight but after years in the restaurant business I tend
to be skeptical about such oversights. I thought she might have been trying to
put one past the drunks. Once the bill was corrected Carey noticed that the
difference in price was almost exactly 1 round of Russian Quaaludes. So she
ordered another round to take the total back to where it had been before.

We headed home from there. We lost Carey somewhere near the Flamingo. We
were mid-block on the CP side of the street and then she was gone. We met up
with her on the opposite side of the street once we crossed at the BC/Bally’s
corner. All I could figure was that she crossed the strip mid-block somewhere.
She couldn’t tell us when/where/why she’d drifted off. Back at Bally’s I
bought a deck of cards at the gift shop and we went to Carey’s room to play.
before we started playing Greg made a run to the soda machine for drinks, but
when he returned he was pushing a refrigerator on a cart! Seems housekeeping
had left their door unlocked. So now Carey’s room had a ‘fridge. She was
worried that she might get in trouble but we assured her that even if a maid
commented on it, housekeeping would just assume someone had forgotten to write
down that 1064 had requested and received a ‘fridge. We played cards until 5am
before passing out in bed.

Next episode:
Off-strip at Reserve & Sunset Station
Smith & Wollensky’s
Strip Club?


Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.

B. B. Bandit

Apr 2, 1999, 3:00:00 AM4/2/99
Sounds like you all were really soused. It'll be interesting to see
what time day 4 starts.


Apr 3, 1999, 3:00:00 AM4/3/99
Hysterical !!! Great report man, too bad you cant attach some pictures !!


Steve -- The Bluesman

"I fear no Evil because I walk with Evil..."

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