The writers have been drinking too much and are probably smoking crack.
On the plus side, the entry on Endangered Species was updated on the
6th so it's really fresh:
Extinct and Endangered Species, and who endangered them
[edit]The Dodo
The extinction of this large, ungainly bird is often credited to rats
or pigs. However, history clearly shows that these giant dishmops were
wiped out by a Portuguese bird-puncher named Dom Pedro de Alvarez.
Now, it as to be said that I consider wiping our flightless birds by
repeatedly punching them in the face to be a trifle unsporting, but
that's the Portugee for you. Not a gentleman in the whole demned
country.
[edit]The Loggerhead Sea-Turtle
Endangerin' turtle's is a tricky business. Shells, y'know. Bad
business. You can open 'em up with crowbars, but it takes to long to
do any proper endangering. So when an American fellow by the name of
Jenkin P. Sackerville decided that the local turtles were getting
'uppity', he hit upon a nice little trick - burying landmines on the
turtles' breeding beaches. Brilliant, eh?
[edit]Williamson's Osprey
Ah, now this is one of mine. The Williamson's Osprey is an unpleasant
tasting animal which lives in economically useless areas and has no
natural predators. 'We'll see about this,' said I and made my way to
its habitat with some rifles, shotguns and a keg of gunpowder. I won't
say it was easy - it took me nearly two years - but finally I had the
blighters on the brink of extinction. I didn't have the chance to
completely finish them off, because the rainy season started and many
of my bearers started coming down with athlete's foot. Next year,
though. Next year!
Thought I'd never be rid of the Williamson Ospreys; they migrate
through my back yard, leaving only destruction and ruin in their wake,
but I see I have found the man who can rid me of these pestilent
creatures.
Regards,
Uncle Steve
--
"Following has never been easier"
-- The Onion