The check's in the Mail — the stimmy checks that is

[bozo de niro]

How many? How often? And for how much?

Or am I wasting my time trying to pin down whether I got them all or not?

And are the amounts all over the map and asking for specificity is a fool's errand that I'll have to call the gubment to be sure? — and who @ the gubment will really know? — do I call an 800# at a call center staffed with impeccable English speakers or what?

I vaguely remember getting a $600 check I deposited (but can't be sure of that either ) — does that amount sound right or is the initial stimmy or stymie amount all over the map as well?

I've been to several websites with content on the topic but do not understand, trust, or believe what they're telling me.

And then a debit-credit-card thingy arrived that I never activated, which is supposed to be for $1200 — does that amount sound right? — or could that be for as much as a million dollars?

And then a $1400 check is supposed to be "in the mail " but hasn't yet arrived — does that sound about right too?

And If I haven't yet activated or responded to one or more stimmys in the past year or so, could that be holding up the works to any other transactions, deposits, or stimmies in the works that I might be entitled to?

And can I trust you with the answer? Or do I have to call the Gubment and the Untouchables to be sure?

Thank you for your cooperati