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It was then that Connie Chatterley first invited Oliver Mellors into
the drawing room.
“Oh, Oliver”, she breathed, “You look like you’ve been labouring so
hard...so very hard!”
“Oi’ve bin fair knackered out at that”, said the doughty gamekeeper.
“Sweating like a pig, I am”.
“Oh, you have the fragrance of the untamed wild, the REAL earth about
you, Oliver, do you know that?”
“I’d get the tub out, Mrs Chatterley, but it ain’t April yet.”
“Oh no, don’t do that, Oliver. You smell authentic, not like the
effete crowd”.
“Do you mean me feet stink, Mrs Chatterley? I’ll put some carbolic on
‘em tonight...”
“Oh Oliver, you are one to treasure. There’s no one like you. And
there’s no need to call me Mrs Chatterley when we are alone
together...like this...like we are now. All alone...together...and
alone..” Her voice lowered to a whisper on the last words. She felt
the top button of her blouse, and it came undone in her nervous
fingers, and beneath the blouse, her bosom began to swell.
“Whoooorrhh...” thought Mellors, “I think I might be in with a chance
here, sure enough... And it’s been a long while since it rained..”
“What do you call the other ladies, the girls you know, Oliver?”
“Well, I call some of them lassie, if they don’t object to it”.
“Oh, how awfully delightful!” squealed Connie, and she clapped her
hands. “Mummsy called me that, when I was a little one. Please call me
that then, when we are alone, which we are now...”
“Very well, Mrs Lassie it is then, if you don’t take exception to itl”
Connie looked at him evenly and once again felt the buttons at the top
of her blouse. “Now, my hard-working real man, would you like a little
drink?”
“Well if you are being so kind, a pint of cider wouldn’t hit the
sides”.
“I’ll go and get one”
And presently, she returned with cider for Oliver and three bottles of
sherry for herself. They sat at the table and began to drink. Connie
asked him what he had been doing that day to build up such a sweat and
thirst, and he began to tell her how he had assisted Bess, the cow, in
the delivery of her calf. He almost knocked the bottles off the table
as he enacted how hard he had “pulled and pulled” at the emerging
calf. “And then,” Oliver said at the end of the lengthy and detailed
narration, “She began to scoff the afterbirth, and that’s when I
knowed she’d be as right as rain”.
“How wonderful, Oliver! It’s so, so authentic and full of blood and
life itself. Now, Oliver, let me be frank with you” and a blush came
over her which spread like a tide from cheeks to throat to breast. “I
have a bed here, and I would like you to show me what kind of man you
really are, in that bed...with me.”
“WHHOOOWRRHHH!!!!” Mellors roared, so much like a bull. “I be right up
to that, Mrs Lassie, and you can bet on that!”
“Well, I’ll just go and slip into something comfortable...” Connie
smiled.
“No need for that, Mrs. Lassie, just strip off and let’s get to it.
Can’t stay too long, though. I’ve got to muck out the stables at
sparrow’s fart tomorra.”
Connie began to take off her clothes, all of them, and Oliver took off
his shirt and lowered his trousers. When he looked up at the now-naked
Connie, he expressed his admiration.
“WHHOOOWRRHHH!!!!” Mrs. Lassie, I do declare, if you were a cow,
you’d be a-winnin’ any best udders ribbon in any competition”.
“Glad you like me, Oliver, but oh, I’ve smudged my mascara and I must
look a fright”
“No worries, there Mrs. Lassie. I’m not lookin’ at the mantelpiece
when I be stokin’ the fire”.
“But, my hero, DO take your trousers and boots off.”
“No time, Mrs Lassie, not to worry, I can do the job with the strides
down my ankles, done it lots of times like that. No sweat, and it’s
easy for the quick getaway if that’s needed.”
“Well, here I am, my dear, have your way with me…I’m all yours”, and
Connie lay naked on the bed.
“WHHOOOWRRHHH!!!!” roared Oliver as an American soldier might have
yelled “Geronimo” as he charged across the field.
It represents a sound. The spelling varies. A common spelling today is
"phwoar".
http://www.wordnik.com/words/phwoar
(British, slang) Expresses sexual desire on seeing a person that one
is attracted to.
An example:
"The words that have gained an official entry to the English
language, and that sticks out a mile are words like "phwoar" -
"expression of enthusiastic or lubricious approval"."
—The Times of India
--
Peter Duncanson, UK
(in alt.usage.english)
Well, if it is a curry comb then making curry, yes?
Hello. Yes, I got room now. Room with view. I asking about that one
soon. You telling me, yes? A thousand pardons. See pardon thread. Is
that pardons enough?