wet sails
chrissy
plied with all sorts of boating metaphors. (Sorry for what I'm about
to do Rey).
One term that I always thought I'd understood was 'coming home with a
wet sail'.
I'd always thought this meant making a late (but rapid) run from
behind to threaten victory. But apparently, boats don't travel all
that well with wet sails. (What I know about boats could be written on
a postage stamp with a felt tip pen, so I'm ready to stand corrected
here.)
If this is so, does anyone know how or why this metaphor came to be
used as it currently is?
cheers
Chrissy
Christopher Johnson
See the middle of the following page:
http://www.anu.edu.au/ANDC/Ozwords/June2002/Mailbag.html
Also:
http://phrases.shu.ac.uk/bulletin_board/25/messages/975.html
--
Christopher
(Change 3032 to 3232 to reply by private e-mail)
chrissy
Thanks Christopher, for affirming that I have the meaning
approximately correct. I'm still wondering about why that particular
phrase is used to convey the idea.
cheers
Chrissy
Armond Perretta
> chrissy wrote:
>>
>> One term that I always thought I'd understood was 'coming home
>> with a wet sail'.
>
>
> http://www.anu.edu.au/ANDC/Ozwords/June2002/Mailbag.html
>
> Also:
>
> http://phrases.shu.ac.uk/bulletin_board/25/messages/975.html
I have been losing sailboat races for quite some time. In those rare
instances where a loss failed to occur, I have never heard the captioned
phrase used in connection with a come-from-behind performance, at least not
in the US. In fact I have not heard the phrase at all in Leftpondia, and I
listen carefully enough.
I say this taking into account the habit of some sailors to engage in
alcohol-enhanced post-race explanations of what would have occurred on the
course if the other participants had been as capable as the sailor
providing the analysis.
The average US sailor, drunk or otherwise, will probably _not_ be familiar
with this phrase.
--
Good luck and good sailing.
s/v Kerry Deare of Barnegat
http://kerrydeare.tripod.com
John Dean
http://www.history.rochester.edu/Scientific_American/vol1/vol1n007/p1c1.htm
Lost Time never regained.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
[WRITTEN ON HEARING A PERSON REMARK THAT HE INTENDED "TO KETCH UP LOST TIME
WITH A WET SAIL."]
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
When sailors, heedless of their duty, sleep,
Neglecting every favorable gale,
They'll find it hard their after-course to keep,
With a wet sail.
There is a tide in the affairs of men,
Which all should watch with carefulness to hail;
Once miss'd, it scarcely can be caught again,
With a wet sail.
And yet who wishes cautiously to live,
Fixing no hopes on phantoms which may fail,
Will not a chase to every object give
With a wet sail.
The swiftest do not always first arrive,
In war the strongest do not aye prevail;
The keep the golden means, nor ceaseless drive
With a wet sail.
Think not to eagerness alone is given
The happy mind which nothing can assail;
He's on the wrong track who would enter heaven
With a wet sail.
=====
Seems the practice of wetting sails to take advantage of the wind has been
known a while (though I'm not sure how it works and whether we need an
aerodynamicist or a physicist to tell us)
http://www3.teleplex.net/timonier/speaks/book04.html
<< The log records at least hourly adjustments to the sails, still seeking
any and every advantage. At dawn on the 19th, four British ships still were
in sight, but at least twelve miles distant. Not satisfied, Hull had his
crew begin wetting the sails with sea water brought aboard with fire pumps.
Constitution sped on, and at 8:15 the British were seen to give up, change
course to the north, and, Hull thought, probably return to their cruising
station off New York. >>
And in the US Civil War:
http://www.usigs.org/library/books/ma/Marblehead1880/Marblehead015.htm
<< The men were constantly employed in wetting the sails, and as the wind
filled them, and the speed of the ship increased, the stratagem had the
desired effect. >>
--
John Dean
Oxford
De-frag to reply
meirman
<john...@frag.lineone.net> posted:
>
>
>Seems the practice of wetting sails to take advantage of the wind has been
>known a while (though I'm not sure how it works and whether we need an
>aerodynamicist or a physicist to tell us)
>http://www3.teleplex.net/timonier/speaks/book04.html
It may be that the air goes through dry sails, at a slower rate than
if there were no sail there at all, but enough to lessen the effect of
the sail.
I noted this month week that the Wright brothers used a very tight
woven cloth for their wings, many threads per inch, that isn't made
anymore and took some time to get recreated. Perhaps they needed a
tight weave to keep the air from going through the cloth.
I think we have all noticed that air doesn't go through wet cloth,
without substantial propelsion.
(OTOH, when it rained, as it did on the anniversary of the first
flight, the rain increases the weight of the plane (something that
doesn't matter as much with boats), and it changes the shape of the
wing to a less efficient shape (that's the major problem with ice on
the wing with a modern plane.) So it's not surprising the plane
wouldn't fly well on a wet day.
><< The log records at least hourly adjustments to the sails, still seeking
>any and every advantage. At dawn on the 19th, four British ships still were
>in sight, but at least twelve miles distant. Not satisfied, Hull had his
>crew begin wetting the sails with sea water brought aboard with fire pumps.
>Constitution sped on, and at 8:15 the British were seen to give up, change
>course to the north, and, Hull thought, probably return to their cruising
>station off New York. >>
>
>And in the US Civil War:
>
>http://www.usigs.org/library/books/ma/Marblehead1880/Marblehead015.htm
>
><< The men were constantly employed in wetting the sails, and as the wind
>filled them, and the speed of the ship increased, the stratagem had the
>desired effect. >>
s/ meirman If you are emailing me please
say if you are posting the same response.
Born west of Pittsburgh Pa. 10 years
Indianapolis, 7 years
Chicago, 6 years
Brooklyn NY 12 years
Baltimore 20 years
david56
I don't recognise the phrase, but I do recognise the practice. As a
teenager I spent all my spare time sailing dinghies - teaching and
racing. We used to throw water at the sails when the wind was very
slight. I'm not entirely sure whey we did this - the behaviour was
learned from our elders - but I suppose it was to make the sails hang
more heavily and take the wind better.
There are issues around this. Modern synthetic sails do not take on
water in the same way as cotton sails, so I guess whatever benefit
was gained would no longer work. In very light winds, a dinghy is
heeled over hard to leeward to try to assist the boom to pull down on
the sail, and the sailors all crowd to the front of the boat to put
the bow down - this reduces the surface area in contact with the
water and so cuts drag.
When racing, throwing water at the sails was frowned upon as the act
of collecting water in a bailer could be construed as paddling. You
certainly wouldn't collect the water in such a way as to paddle
backwards.
--
David
=====
John Dean
> In alt.english.usage on Sun, 28 Dec 2003 00:18:08 -0000 "John Dean"
> <john...@frag.lineone.net> posted:
>
>>
>>
>> Seems the practice of wetting sails to take advantage of the wind
>> has been known a while (though I'm not sure how it works and whether
>> we need an aerodynamicist or a physicist to tell us)
>> http://www3.teleplex.net/timonier/speaks/book04.html
>
> It may be that the air goes through dry sails, at a slower rate than
> if there were no sail there at all, but enough to lessen the effect of
> the sail.
>
> I noted this month week that the Wright brothers used a very tight
> woven cloth for their wings, many threads per inch, that isn't made
> anymore and took some time to get recreated. Perhaps they needed a
> tight weave to keep the air from going through the cloth.
>
> I think we have all noticed that air doesn't go through wet cloth,
> without substantial propelsion.
That makes sense, but, as you note below, a*very* wet piece of cloth makes
things worse. There's obviously a break-even point.
>
> (OTOH, when it rained, as it did on the anniversary of the first
> flight, the rain increases the weight of the plane (something that
> doesn't matter as much with boats), and it changes the shape of the
> wing to a less efficient shape (that's the major problem with ice on
> the wing with a modern plane.) So it's not surprising the plane
> wouldn't fly well on a wet day.
>
>
--
Dr Robin Bignall
<john...@frag.lineone.net> wrote:
>Seems the practice of wetting sails to take advantage of the wind has been
>known a while (though I'm not sure how it works and whether we need an
>aerodynamicist or a physicist to tell us)
>http://www3.teleplex.net/timonier/speaks/book04.html
>
It's just a guess, because I forgot my physics more years ago than you've
had hot dinners, and have never done any sailing, but maybe wetting them
makes them more controllable and stops them from flapping around, thus
enabling the boat to stay exactly on course and reduce time-wasting
tacking.
--
wrmst rgrds
Robin Bignall
Quiet part of Hertfordshire
England
Armond Perretta
>
> Seems the practice of wetting sails to take advantage of the wind
> has been known a while (though I'm not sure how it works and
> whether we need an aerodynamicist or a physicist to tell us)
> http://www3.teleplex.net/timonier/speaks/book04.html
This practice is no longer significant since cotton sails are no longer
seen, save for a few replicas or the few remaining ships and boats of
historic interest. A few years back I bumped into the USS "Constitution"
actually under sail off Boston Harbor, and it's possible she was fitted with
cotton sails. I cannot recall.
Today's "sailcloth" is almost entirely based on synthetic materials, and
exotic ones at that. There could possibly be some interest in a.u.e
regarding the use of "sailcloth" to describe such materials, but I will not
tarry here. With synthetics, and in particular with some of the more exotic
aramid materials, sails become essentially laminated plastics and "wetting"
the sails has no effect. These products are of little interest to average
sailors because they are very expensive and are impractical from the
standpoint of durability.
Armond Perretta
>
> I don't recognise the phrase, but I do recognise the practice. As a
> teenager I spent all my spare time sailing dinghies - teaching and
> racing. We used to throw water at the sails when the wind was very
> slight. I'm not entirely sure whey we did this - the behaviour was
> learned from our elders - but I suppose it was to make the sails
> hang more heavily and take the wind better.
Intentionally heeling the boat in light air is, as you note below, pretty
much a standard tactic. Wetting the sails may be a method to help in such
conditions, but I am rather sure that the Race Committee would not be very
happy about what is perhaps questionable sportsmanship (also as you note
below).
> There are issues around this. Modern synthetic sails do not take on
> water in the same way as cotton sails, so I guess whatever benefit
> was gained would no longer work. In very light winds, a dinghy is
> heeled over hard to leeward to try to assist the boom to pull down
> on the sail, and the sailors all crowd to the front of the boat to
> put the bow down - this reduces the surface area in contact with the
> water and so cuts drag.
This is not only a dinghy tactic, but is done also in the cruising classes.
A bit manic, perhaps, but there _are_ such skippers.
>
> When racing, throwing water at the sails was frowned upon as the act
> of collecting water in a bailer could be construed as paddling. You
> certainly wouldn't collect the water in such a way as to paddle
> backwards.
--
Armond Perretta
>
> ... a*very* wet piece of
> cloth makes things worse. There's obviously a break-even point.
Wet sails (specifically wet cotton sails) are going to be heavier than dry
sails. This puts more weight aloft, which is never a good thing.
John Dean
> A few years back I bumped into the USS
> "Constitution" actually under sail off Boston Harbor,
'Bumped into'! Don't they court martial you for that kind of carelessness?
Anyway, our latest version of the Guerriere is almost ready. What with our
Turbo thrust, surface to surface missiles and Cloaking device, we're pretty
confident we stand a chance this time.
BTW, I have resisted for long enough. (Look away NOW Laura)
Laura, you shouldn't still be reading ...
Last Chance Saloon for Perfessor Spira ...
All together now :
Wet Sails in the Sunset
Way out on the Sea ....
Dr Robin Bignall
<john...@frag.lineone.net> wrote:
>Armond Perretta wrote:
>> A few years back I bumped into the USS
>> "Constitution" actually under sail off Boston Harbor,
>
>'Bumped into'! Don't they court martial you for that kind of carelessness?
Only if you inadvertently bump into Australia.
Laura F Spira
Thank you for your forbearance and concern, Mr D, but the subject line
did it immediately. Not a bad tune to be troubled by, AFAIC.
More musically problematic, I have acquired a new mobile phone and am
having considerable difficulty in selecting an appropriate ring tone.
Finding something unusual enough for me to recognise my own phone that
is also pleasant to hear seems remarkably difficult.
--
Laura
(emulate St. George for email)
John Dean
There are tens of thousands of ring tones all over the Net. Two thoughts -
the theme from Coronation St? Or for utter originality, birdsong from the
Royal Society for the Prevention of Birds. I myself have the blackbird and,
since I rarely have my phone switched on, whenever I hear it I immediately
think 'What the f**k's that?'
http://rspb.mobileavenue.net/
M. J. Powell
Bignall <docr...@ntlworld.com> writes
>On Mon, 29 Dec 2003 00:41:43 -0000, "John Dean"
><john...@frag.lineone.net> wrote:
>
>>Armond Perretta wrote:
>>> A few years back I bumped into the USS
>>> "Constitution" actually under sail off Boston Harbor,
>>
>>'Bumped into'! Don't they court martial you for that kind of carelessness?
>
>Only if you inadvertently bump into Australia.
Then they send you to HMS Nottingham....
Mike
--
M.J.Powell
Armond Perretta
> "John Dean" <john...@frag.lineone.net> wrote:
>> Armond Perretta wrote:
>>>
>>> A few years back I bumped into the USS
>>> "Constitution" actually under sail off Boston Harbor,
>>
>> 'Bumped into'! Don't they court martial you for that kind of
>> carelessness?
>
> Only if you inadvertently bump into Australia.
I sometimes like "bumped into" and even "park the boat" when describing
certain nautical situations or encounters. I suspect it's reverse snobbery
or perhaps an altered form of straight-ahead snobbery. Not really sure
about this.
In response to Robin, it happens that a few years back a well-known racing
sailor actually _did_ bump into Australia on one leg of a single-handed
round-the-world event. He fell asleep and the yacht proceeded under
autopilot and self-steering onto the coast of the southwest part of
Australia.
I have not heard that a military tribunal of any sort was called up to look
into this.
Bob Cunningham
(chrissy) said:
I don't. But the subject line brings to mind _A Wet Sheet
and a Flowing Sea_, a poem that was written by the
19th-century poet Allan Cunningham and that I think is about
wet sails.
I've never read the poem, but it's title has always seemed
somewhat amusing, suggestive as it is of nocturnal enuresis.
Okay, now I've read the poem (at
http://www.bartleby.com/41/464.html ). I get the impression
the poet thought wet sails were good.
Peter Duncanson
wrote:
In sailing terminology a 'sheet' is a rope or chain used for a particular
purpose.
Merriam-Webster OnLine:
Main Entry: 4sheet
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English shete, from Old English scEata lower corner of a
sail; akin to Old English scyte sheet
Date: 13th century
1 : a rope or chain that regulates the angle at which a sail is set in
relation to the wind
2 plural : the spaces at either end of an open boat not occupied by thwarts
: foresheets and stern sheets together
--
Peter Duncanson
UK
(posting from a.e.u)
Bob Cunningham
Okay, thank you. But if a sheet (1) is wet, won't a sail be
likely to be wet, also?
Mike Lyle
[...]
> I don't. But the subject line brings to mind _A Wet Sheet
> and a Flowing Sea_, a poem that was written by the
> 19th-century poet Allan Cunningham and that I think is about
> wet sails.
>
> I've never read the poem, but it's title has always seemed
> somewhat amusing, suggestive as it is of nocturnal enuresis.
>
> Okay, now I've read the poem (at
> http://www.bartleby.com/41/464.html ). I get the impression
> the poet thought wet sails were good.
From the text provided it seems that only the *sheet* was necessarily
wet; and a sheet is a rope, not a sail. The sheet will get wet because
it's low down, and you handle it all the time as it controls the
sail's attitude.
It occurs to me that when sailing on salt water you might considerably
decrease the porosity of old hand-woven sailcloth by soaking it:
evaporation would leave salt crystals behind in the weave.
I've read that one of the reasons *America* won the celebrated race
was that she had closely-woven sails, as against more openly-woven
British ones. But I don't know how much difference that would have
made, and it seems a touch unlikely to me.
One good way of getting your sail wet is, I remember from youth, to
capsize. After a capsize, it would be a notable feat to scream up from
behind to victory: could this idea be behind the early uses of the
expression?
Mike.
Robert Bannister
> On Mon, 29 Dec 2003 00:41:43 -0000, "John Dean"
> <john...@frag.lineone.net> wrote:
>
>
>>Armond Perretta wrote:
>>
>>> A few years back I bumped into the USS
>>>"Constitution" actually under sail off Boston Harbor,
>>
>>'Bumped into'! Don't they court martial you for that kind of carelessness?
>
>
> Only if you inadvertently bump into Australia.
>
That English captain wasn't to know, but we have made it easier for
Australian sailors: the naval bases in Perth and Sydney are both called
Garden Island, so that in the event of a 3000 km navigation error, they
can say they were in the right place.
--
Rob Bannister
Robert Bannister
> John Dean wrote:
>> Wet Sails in the Sunset
>> Way out on the Sea ....
>>
>
> Thank you for your forbearance and concern, Mr D, but the subject line
> did it immediately. Not a bad tune to be troubled by, AFAIC.
Hmph! It's still going round and round in my head.
>
> More musically problematic, I have acquired a new mobile phone and am
> having considerable difficulty in selecting an appropriate ring tone.
> Finding something unusual enough for me to recognise my own phone that
> is also pleasant to hear seems remarkably difficult.
My choice of Waltzing Matilda seems to be unique in Australia. They all
seem to go for rap, which I have thankfully never heard, or quite long
classical pieces that can be quite soothing.
--
Rob Bannister
R J Valentine
In alt.usage.english Bob Cunningham <exw...@earthlink.net> wrote:
} On Mon, 29 Dec 2003 16:03:26 +0000, Peter Duncanson
} <ma...@peterduncanson.net> said:
}
}> On Mon, 29 Dec 2003 15:53:33 GMT, Bob Cunningham <exw...@earthlink.net>
}> wrote:
...
}> In sailing terminology a 'sheet' is a rope or chain used for a particular
}> purpose.
}> Merriam-Webster OnLine:
...
}> 1 : a rope or chain that regulates the angle at which a sail is set in
}> relation to the wind
...
} Okay, thank you. But if a sheet (1) is wet, won't a sail be
} likely to be wet, also?
Not especially. Sailing downwind you might well have the boom at full
reach. A little luffing and a little inattention could leave the sheets
slack and even dipping into the water while the sails are still dry. If
you come out of your reverie as someone shouts "Hard alee!" it could be
the last thing you hear.
--
R. J. Valentine <mailto:ar...@wicked.smart.net>
Tony Cooper
wrote:
I've only sailed round the pond, but it seems that your sentence above
is redundant. When the sheets go slack, you've luffed. Luffing is
the only thing that I really got good at in my brief flirtation with
sailing.
I also owned a ski boat with an outboard motor. The stinkpot version
of luffing is running the boat into a shallow part of the lake so the
propeller tries to churn muck. I got good at that, too.
Did you know that there's a little hole in the back of an outboard
motor - often called the pee hole - where water is supposed to spurt
out? Did you know that if you don't check to see that this hole is
clear, and that - say - no mud daubers have built a nest in it, that
the damned engine will stop running? In the middle of the lake? In
the blazing hot Florida sun? With your whole family in the damned
boat?
It's no big thing, though. You just have to wait out there in the
blazing sun until some boat comes by with a couple of Billy Bobs in it
that are about bright enough to figure out how much change they should
get from a nickel when they buy a penny gumball. You just let them
whoop and snicker and sit there with shit-eating gap-toothed grins
while they tow you to the dock.
Then, you take the boat to the boat repair mechanic -another Billy
Bob, but one wearing steel-toed Bruno Magli tasseled work shoes - who
charges you $186 to ram a pipe cleaner in that little hole.
So I've been told, anyway.
Laura F Spira
Thanks for your suggestion. I had it on vibrate all day yesterday and
that seemed to work rather well, after my initial worry that there was
something alive in my handbag...
I am old enough to remember the advent of the Trimphone which warbled
and caused an uncle visiting from the US to exclaim in horror, on
hearing it ring, "You own a *boid*?"
Re STS: the film "Touching the Void" contains the very worst experience
of STS that can possibly be imagined, involving Boney M. I don't think I
shall ever complain about the affliction again. Excellent film. Do see
it if you get the chance, but I advise you to wrap up warmly and take a
drink with you.
Mike Lyle
[...]
> My choice of Waltzing Matilda seems to be unique in Australia. They all
> seem to go for rap, which I have thankfully never heard, or quite long
> classical pieces that can be quite soothing.
I use "Matilda" here in UK, where also -- so far -- it's proved unique.
Mike.
mUs1Ka
m.
Tony Cooper
I use the regular ring tone the way the phone came set. I find it's a
very distinctive sound in a room full of phone users and all other
phones are set to Scheherezade, Looney Tunes, or The Three Blind Mice.
It's basic black which makes it easy to spot.
Armond Perretta
> } likely to be wet, also?
>
> Not especially. Sailing downwind you might well have the boom at
> full reach.
I suspect you mean to use "full reach." as a generalized descriptor rather
than a legitimate example of sailing terminology - i.e., "full reach" =
"fully eased" or "fully extended." "Reach" is a very specific sailing term
is not used to describe the position of either the sails or the boom. "Full
reach" is not something I've run into, but since it's the holiday season I'm
certainly willing to sit corrected on this.
> ... A little luffing and a little inattention could leave
> the sheets slack and even dipping into the water while the sails
> are still dry.
I don't believe "luffing" as used is quite right for what you are
suggesting, but certainly inattention can have consequences. When running
off or running downwind, "luffing" as it is commonly understood cannot
occur. "Luffing" is used to describe a situation where the vessel is
sailing "too close to the wind" or at an angle that points the vessel too
sharply into the direction from which the wind is coming (neglecting for
the moment the difference between true wind and apparent wind). If a vessel
that is running off finds herself actually "luffing," then she has altered
course upwind to such a large extent that she is no longer "running" and has
come up well beyond the point of sail to which the term ""running" properly
applies.
> ... If you come out of your reverie as someone shouts
> "Hard alee!" it could be the last thing you hear.
On a "proper yacht" this cannot happen. When a boat is running, and she is
then jibed to bring the boom across the vessel and move the boat onto the
other tack (one sometimes hears "onto the other jibe" but not everyone is
happy with this version), one will never hear "Hard alee."" The proper and
relevant command is "Jibe ho."
"Hard alee" means what it sounds like it means: the helm or tiller is put
"down" or moved in the leeward direction, forcing the _bow_ through the
wind. In the situation you refer to, taking the boat through a jibe means
putting the helm or tiller up or in the windward direction, forcing the
_stern_ through the wind.
Armond Perretta
>
> ... When the sheets go slack, you've luffed.
> Luffing is the only thing that I really got good at in my brief
> flirtation with sailing.
You might want to see my accompanying post on this, or perhaps not. In any
case it sounds like you are using "luffing" as it is commonly understood -
i.e., when sailing upwind, "uphill," "to weather," "pointing," or any of a
number of similar expressions. This is what I was hammering RJ about.
Hey, it's a slow day.
> .. The stinkpot
> version of luffing is running the boat into a shallow part of the
> lake so the propeller tries to churn muck ...
Not quite. Grounding out is available to sailing boats as well as power
boats, and in fact probably occurs more often with sailboats since (a) they
are generally deeper (read "have more draft"), and (b) powerboaters soon
realize they are in for some expensive yard work if they ground out at
speed.
There is no "stinkpot" version of luffing, unless you consider backwinding
the ensign a punishable offense.
Tony Cooper
I learned to luff when another couple and my wife and I rented a
sailboat and sailed from St Thomas to Tortola in the BVI. The other
male was a qualified - arrogantly so - sailor. He would build up a
good head of steam - or whatever it is that sailboats do when skimming
nicely across the water - and turn the wheel over to me. (Yes, the
boat had one of those spoked wheels) I would sit there rigidly and
try not to do anything to disrupt the wonderful ride, and - all of a
sudden - the sails would go dead and we'd wallow instead of sail.
The more experienced male on board called this luffing or that I had
luffed or something like that. It was not complimentary.
The same effect can be achieved in a stinkpot by a cack-handed driver.
All you need to do is go full-throttle (you push that stick thing
forward) and then run up on a shallow place in the lake and get the
propeller mired in the muck: from forward movement to abrupt
wallowing. It's more fun when you're towing a skier.
You are qualified to correct me about sailing and nautical terms.
However, do not try to correct me about screwing up asea or alake. I
am the master of that domain.
Did you know that boats have a thing like a sink stopper in the back?
That if you don't put it in the hole that the water that is supposed
to be outside of the boat rushes inside the boat? Did you know that
with enough water inside the boat that a cooler will float away?
Armond Perretta
>
> I learned to luff when another couple and my wife and I rented a
> sailboat and sailed from St Thomas to Tortola in the BVI.
Snob sailors call this "chartering," not "renting." Obviously I am not one
of these.
> ... The other male was a qualified - arrogantly so - sailor ...
In the general case there is no other officially recognized qualification.
Obviously I am not one of these.
> ... You are qualified to correct me about sailing and nautical terms.
> However, do not try to correct me about screwing up asea or alake.
> I am the master of that domain.
Don't assume screw-up capability that you cannot, by way of normal
evidentiary technique, sustain. I can fukup boatwise as good as anybody,
fer shure.
Geoff Butler
>
>More musically problematic, I have acquired a new mobile phone and am
>having considerable difficulty in selecting an appropriate ring tone.
>Finding something unusual enough for me to recognise my own phone that
>is also pleasant to hear seems remarkably difficult.
You may remember the Stylophone, a musical instrument (in the loosest
terms of the word 'musical') invented by Rolf Harris some forty years
ago. It certainly played notes, but there was a lack of melody, depth,
timbre, and pleasure in those notes. It was, however, more pleasurable
to listen to than mobile phone ring tones.
I detest hearing the sax riff from "Baker Street" on the stylophone, or
"Layla" on the stylophone, or the "1812 Overture" on the stylophone, and
I feel inclined to dump the offending phone in a bucket of water without
detaching it from the offender's ear.
I'd recommend the one that goes "ring-ring, pause, ring-ring, pause".
--
-ler
Matti Lamprhey
> Laura F Spira <la...@DRAGONspira.fsbusiness.co.uk> wrote
> >
> >More musically problematic, I have acquired a new mobile phone and am
> >having considerable difficulty in selecting an appropriate ring tone.
> >Finding something unusual enough for me to recognise my own phone
> >that is also pleasant to hear seems remarkably difficult.
>
> You may remember the Stylophone, a musical instrument (in the loosest
> terms of the word 'musical') invented by Rolf Harris some forty years
> ago. It certainly played notes, but there was a lack of melody, depth,
> timbre, and pleasure in those notes. It was, however, more pleasurable
I had several months between school and university, and the December was
spent in the Electrical Department of the local Grace Brothers
department store, aka Allders in Croydon. The best selling item was the
Stylophone, I fear, and this may explain my unaccountable aversion to
mobile phones all these years later.
Rolf was just the celebrity endorsement, in fact. It was actually
invented by a Brit named Brian Jarvis.
Matti
Geoff Butler
So, Rolf was an accessory to the crime, and the whole thing was a
conspiracy.
--
-ler
Mike Lyle
> Tony Cooper wrote:
> >
> > I learned to luff when another couple and my wife and I rented a
> > sailboat and sailed from St Thomas to Tortola in the BVI.
>
> Snob sailors call this "chartering," not "renting." Obviously I am not one
> of these.
>
> > ... The other male was a qualified - arrogantly so - sailor ...
>
> In the general case there is no other officially recognized qualification.
> Obviously I am not one of these.
>
> > ... You are qualified to correct me about sailing and nautical terms.
> > However, do not try to correct me about screwing up asea or alake.
> > I am the master of that domain.
>
> Don't assume screw-up capability that you cannot, by way of normal
> evidentiary technique, sustain. I can fukup boatwise as good as anybody,
> fer shure.
This from the man who pops over the Atlantic single-handed when the
idea crosses his mind. Yeah, right, Armond. I suppose you'll expect us
to believe you were actually trying to get to Nantucket?
"Left hand down a bit, Quartermaster!" "Left hand down a bit it is,
sir!"
Mike.
Dr Robin Bignall
I have the theme from the "A-team".
Dr Robin Bignall
<matti-...@totally-official.com> wrote:
>"Geoff Butler" <ge...@gbutler.demon.co.uk> wrote...
>> Laura F Spira <la...@DRAGONspira.fsbusiness.co.uk> wrote
>> >
>> >More musically problematic, I have acquired a new mobile phone and am
>> >having considerable difficulty in selecting an appropriate ring tone.
>> >Finding something unusual enough for me to recognise my own phone
>> >that is also pleasant to hear seems remarkably difficult.
>>
>> You may remember the Stylophone, a musical instrument (in the loosest
>> terms of the word 'musical') invented by Rolf Harris some forty years
>> ago. It certainly played notes, but there was a lack of melody, depth,
>> timbre, and pleasure in those notes. It was, however, more pleasurable
>> to listen to than mobile phone ring tones. [...]
>
>I had several months between school and university, and the December was
>spent in the Electrical Department of the local Grace Brothers
>department store, aka Allders in Croydon.
>
I lived in Wallington 1967 to 73, and often used to shop in Allders. Would
that have been during your time?
chrissy
> On Tue, 30 Dec 2003 13:04:25 -0000, "mUs1Ka" <mUs...@exite.com> wrote:
>
> >Mike Lyle wrote:
> >> Robert Bannister <rob...@it.net.au> wrote in message
> >> news:<bsqgc0$pmb$1...@enyo.uwa.edu.au>... [...]
> >>> My choice of Waltzing Matilda seems to be unique in Australia. They
> >>> all seem to go for rap, which I have thankfully never heard, or
> >>> quite long classical pieces that can be quite soothing.
> >>
> >> I use "Matilda" here in UK, where also -- so far -- it's proved
> >> unique.
> >>
> >I use "Thunderbirds" or "The Archers".
>
> I have the theme from the "A-team".
And I've settled for the sound of a galloping and whinnying horse ...
Chrissy
R H Draney
They gave us a menu of about 25 sounds for our office phones...the most popular
seem to be the saxophone riff and the Jamaican steel drums; the least popular is
the soft voice asking "are you there?"...(I use the orchestral sting myself)....
One of my cow orkers has an in with the people who administer the voice-mail
system and has managed to wangle his own personal musical selection for callers
he puts on hold...right now they get some heavy metal tune he's fond of, but
he's thinking of switching it to "Paralyzed" by the Legendary Stardust
Cowboy....r
david56
> I am old enough to remember the advent of the Trimphone which warbled
> and caused an uncle visiting from the US to exclaim in horror, on
> hearing it ring, "You own a *boid*?"
We had our first Trimphone in our first house in Manchester, about
1982. Outside, a solitary starling learned to emulate the ringing
tone, and used to perch on a telegraph pole in the street, confusing
all the neighbours who would rush to answer their phones.
--
David
=====
Matti Lamprhey
> "Matti Lamprhey" <matti-...@totally-official.com> wrote:
> >
> >I had several months between school and university, and the December
> >was spent in the Electrical Department of the local Grace Brothers
> >department store, aka Allders in Croydon.
> >
> I lived in Wallington 1967 to 73, and often used to shop in Allders.
> Would that have been during your time?
I lived in Coulsdon until 1970, and worked at Allders in December 1969.
So we probably bumped into each other at some point, Robin!
obAUE: Coulsdon was pronounced "Coolsdon" by most people, but "Coalsdon"
by some older residents. I don't know if that's died out completely
now. Wallington is "Wollington", of course.
Matti
Laura F Spira
Our Trimphone was one of the earliest in 1971. It was quite common to
hear birds singing exactly the same notes so I always thought the tone
had been based on birdsong.
We seem to hear very little birdsong these days. We have wood pigeons,
who sit on the chimney so that their very irritating cooing is amplified
into the living room, some extremely noisy magpies and a few silently
sinister crows.
Ayaz Ahmed Khan
I don't have a mobile phone, but one of my friend from high-school
recorded the terrible, screaming sound that comes out from the black
smith's shop, and set that sound as his ring-tone. It was quite a
unique sound.
--
Ayaz Ahmed Khan
Yours Forever in,
Cyberspace.
R H Draney
>
>I don't have a mobile phone, but one of my friend from high-school
>recorded the terrible, screaming sound that comes out from the black
>smith's shop, and set that sound as his ring-tone. It was quite a
>unique sound.
What the devil is that blacksmith *doing* in there?!...
And to whom?...r
Robert Bannister
But don't you occasionally get confused when the television's on? I
certianly confuse TV rings with those of my 'real' phone.
NB I don't watch television myself, but my mother often has it on at a
high volume.
--
Rob Bannister
Dr Robin Bignall
<matti-...@totally-official.com> wrote:
>"Dr Robin Bignall" <docr...@ntlworld.com> wrote...
>> "Matti Lamprhey" <matti-...@totally-official.com> wrote:
>> >
>> >I had several months between school and university, and the December
>> >was spent in the Electrical Department of the local Grace Brothers
>> >department store, aka Allders in Croydon.
>> >
>> I lived in Wallington 1967 to 73, and often used to shop in Allders.
>> Would that have been during your time?
>
>I lived in Coulsdon until 1970, and worked at Allders in December 1969.
>So we probably bumped into each other at some point, Robin!
>
Gosh! Just think, one of these days we might meet and each, pointing at the
other, might exclaim "It's YOU!"
Then again, we might not. Isn't life a puzzle.
chrissy
One of my uni friends who is a whiz with these things adjusted my on
hold to "Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding. It was most apt.
cheers
Chrissy