A plan for the improvement of the English Language by Mark Twain

[Ralph Yozzo]

I think the following will be of interest to people that read this newsgroup:

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be
replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be
part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained
would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2
might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the
same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with
"i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with
Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12
or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov
thi ridandant letez "c","y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in
the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch","sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev
a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

--
Ralph Yozzo (yo...@watson.ibm.com)
From the beautiful and historic Mid-Hudson Valley area of NY state

[Robert W. Allen]

This 'plan' has been circulating for a while. I first read it in an issue
of 'Readers Digest' circa 1972. In that magazine it was credited to a
Mr. M.J. Shields of England. Does anyone have any idea how Mark Twain's
name became associated with this?
--
Rob Allen
ral...@netcom.com

[Joerg Heitkoetter]

"Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory.
Then you can even borrow money from them". (Mark Twain)

In article <1992Nov7.2...@netcom.com>, ral...@netcom.com (Robert W.

Allen) writes:
|> This 'plan' has been circulating for a while. I first read it in an
|> issue
|> of 'Readers Digest' circa 1972. In that magazine it was credited to a
|> Mr. M.J. Shields of England. Does anyone have any idea how Mark Twain's
|> name became associated with this?

Yes. It's in /usr/games/lib/fortune.dat on every Sun...and as someone
else pointed out:

"All modern American literature comes from one book
by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn."
-- Ernest Hemingway

it seems to me a good bet that:

"All seemingly modern American quotations come from
the one and only real American author, called Mark Twain."
-- joke

Your's court jester

-joke

--
Joerg Heitkoetter
Systems Analysis Group
University of Dortmund, Germany
(jo...@ls11.informatik.uni-dortmund.de).

[wil...@vax.oxford.ac.uk]

In article <1992Nov06.1...@watson.ibm.com>, yo...@watson.ibm.com (Ralph Yozzo) writes:
> Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev
> a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
>

Ies, Aiv sin xis bifor tu. Xe trubl iz, aafte sum 20 iurs uv ruform wi wd hav
not wun bt sum xausunds uv lojikl, inkohirnt speling sistms in ius xruaut xe
Ingliy-spiking wurld. Ai prfur tu stik tu xe presnt tu tu ilojikl fe wurdz
sistms uv speling---et list wi cn undestand ic uxe nau.

--

Stephen Wilcox | For Sale: Posts in British Government. Suit
wil...@vax.oxford.ac.uk | outgoing American. Highest bids accepted.