Three men of God

John Baker

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Dec 8, 2022, 3:24:11 PM12/8/22

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A priest, an imam and a rabbi make a wager on who can stay in a sty with
a 300lb. pig the longest

The priest is the first to go in. After no more than 15 minutes he
comes out spluttering and has chronic diarrhea

Next it's the turn of the imam. He overcomes his aversion to pigs and
goes into the sty. Minutes pass and it looks like he will do better
than the clergyman, but after no more than half an hour, he comes out
looking green and experiencing projectile vomit.

Now it's the turn of the jew 'rabbi'. The other two sit down and
watch. Time passes slowly and after 30 minutes they acknowledge that
the rabbi has won the bet.

They wait and wait...after one hour, the pig comes out.

--
AA #1898
Giver of No Fucks
Keeper of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

Athel Cornish-Bowden

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Dec 8, 2022, 5:09:47 PM12/8/22

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Is that supposed to be a joke?

--
Athel -- French and British, living in Marseilles for 36+ years; mainly
in England until 1987.

Bertel Lund Hansen

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Dec 8, 2022, 6:57:39 PM12/8/22

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Den 08.12.2022 kl. 23.09 skrev Athel Cornish-Bowden:

> Is that supposed to be a joke?

Here's a better one. It was told about our then minister of foreign
affairs, but I will just call the person MoFF.

A priest, a teacher and the MoFF were on a plane flying to the capitol.
The plane had one pilot. During the flight the engine began to splutter
and came to a stop. The pilot turned to the passengers and said:

I'm very sorry, but we are going to crash and there's nothing
I can do. And there are only three parachutes on board.

The passengers looked at each other with unhappy faces. Then the MoFF said:

Well, I am the most intelligent of us all and besides the most
important person so I'll just grab a parachute.

which he did, and then he jumped. The others looked at each other, and
then the priest spoke up:

I have the best connection to the higher powers, so I'll go
without a parachute.

Then the pilot said:

Don't worry. There's enough for the three of us.
The MoFF took my lunch bag.

--
Bertel

Mack A. Damia

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Dec 8, 2022, 8:02:55 PM12/8/22

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> pilot, and says

> Don't worry. There's enough for the three of us.
> The MoFF took my lunch bag.
>
> --

> BertelA guy is training to

I have no idea what a moFF is.

A guy was training to fly in a small plane. He is telling this story to a friend.

When they are up in the air, the pilot puts it on automatic-pilot and says to the guy, "I will give you a choice. You will either let me have anal sex with you or you can jump out of the plane with this tattered and torn parachute."

The friend asks, "Did you jump?"

Guy replies, "Yes, I did at first!"

Peeler

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Dec 9, 2022, 4:19:20 AM12/9/22

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On Thu, 8 Dec 2022 15:24:07 -0500, Loose Sphincter, the unhappily married
gay neo-nazitard, now FORGING as John Baker, whined again:

> A priest, an imam and a rabbi make a wager on who can stay in a sty with
> a 300lb. pig the longest

Trying to "impress" everyone with your congenital idiocy again, Loose
Sphincter? Well, you "succeeded", as usual! LOL

--
Anti-virus firm AVG <a...@avg.com> addressing Loose Sphincter on Usenet:

"Hello from AVG.

Please stop advertising us. We don't want to be associated with neo-Nazi
scum like you and RichA, no matter whether you use our product or not.

And fix your fucking sig separator!

Sincerely, AVG."

CDB

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Dec 9, 2022, 9:45:43 AM12/9/22

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On 12/8/2022 5:09 PM, Athel Cornish-Bowden wrote:
> John Baker said:

>> A priest, an imam and a rabbi make a wager on who can stay in a
>> sty with a 300lb. pig the longest

>> The priest is the first to go in. After no more than 15 minutes he
>> comes out spluttering and has chronic diarrhea

>> Next it's the turn of the imam. He overcomes his aversion to pigs
>> and goes into the sty. Minutes pass and it looks like he will do
>> better than the clergyman, but after no more than half an hour, he
>> comes out looking green and experiencing projectile vomit.

>> Now it's the turn of the jew 'rabbi'. The other two sit down and
>> watch. Time passes slowly and after 30 minutes they acknowledge
>> that the rabbi has won the bet.

>> They wait and wait...after one hour, the pig comes out.

> Is that supposed to be a joke?

It reminds me of the sniggering bathroom jokes I used to hear when I was
six, whose "humour" turned on the use of naughty words. I didn't think
they were funny either.

It might have been a little less pointless if the third bettor had been gay.

soup

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Dec 9, 2022, 12:32:34 PM12/9/22

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On 09/12/2022 01:02, Mack A. Damia wrote:
> On Thursday, December 8, 2022 at 3:57:39 PM UTC-8, Bertel Lund Hansen wrote:
>
> I have no idea what a moFF is.

>> It was told about our then minister of foreign
>> affairs, but I will just call the person MoFF.

Erm Try reading the post

Mack A. Damia

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Dec 9, 2022, 10:42:18 PM12/9/22

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Yup, my mistake. Trouble concentrating these days. Ear impacted and infected. We drove across the border today and I bought a new Dell desk top with Windows 11 at Office Depot. Much more shopping , too. Try the gyros at Arbys if you have access. Back in Ensenada at 5 pm, and we drove to Cardio-Med, a very modern hospital in the city. Saw a doctor and got my ears syringed out, took an hour to complete, and got a prescription that we got filled. Total cost $50.00. Feeling much better. Bubba and Pookie were very happy to see me!

soup

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Dec 13, 2022, 3:56:16 AM12/13/22

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On 10/12/2022 03:42, Mack A. Damia wrote:
> On Friday, December 9, 2022 at 9:32:34 AM UTC-8, soup wrote:
>> On 09/12/2022 01:02, Mack A. Damia wrote:
>>> On Thursday, December 8, 2022 at 3:57:39 PM UTC-8, Bertel Lund Hansen wrote:
>>>
>>> I have no idea what a moFF is.
>>>> It was told about our then minister of foreign
>>>> affairs, but I will just call the person MoFF.
>> Erm Try reading the post
>
> Yup, my mistake. Trouble concentrating these days. Ear impacted and infected.

Sorry to hear that (<ha ha see what I did there?).

Try the gyros at Arbys if you have access. I don't I'm afraid, I'm
Scottish you see . Saw a doctor and got my ears syringed out, took an

hour to complete, and got a prescription that we got filled. Total cost
$50.00.

You have to pay, (he says in mock astonishment)!

Feeling much better.
Good to hear (< ha ha and again).

Bubba and Pookie were very happy to see me!

The only Pookie I know is the dog in Garfield

Hope your ear stays 'healed'.

Mack A. Damia

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Dec 13, 2022, 11:21:25 AM12/13/22

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On Tue, 13 Dec 2022 08:56:25 +0000, soup <inv...@invalid.com> wrote:

>On 10/12/2022 03:42, Mack A. Damia wrote:
>> On Friday, December 9, 2022 at 9:32:34 AM UTC-8, soup wrote:
>>> On 09/12/2022 01:02, Mack A. Damia wrote:
>>>> On Thursday, December 8, 2022 at 3:57:39 PM UTC-8, Bertel Lund Hansen wrote:
>>>>
>>>> I have no idea what a moFF is.
>>>>> It was told about our then minister of foreign
>>>>> affairs, but I will just call the person MoFF.
>>> Erm Try reading the post
>>
>> Yup, my mistake. Trouble concentrating these days. Ear impacted and infected.
>Sorry to hear that (<ha ha see what I did there?).
>
> Try the gyros at Arbys if you have access. I don't I'm afraid, I'm
>Scottish you see . Saw a doctor and got my ears syringed out, took an
>hour to complete, and got a prescription that we got filled. Total cost
>$50.00.
>You have to pay, (he says in mock astonishment)!

I could have gone to the V.A. in an emergency, but that hospital is
north of San Diego in La Jolla and nowhere near where we were. I can
get total health care free of charge "there" as I have done for the
past forty-five years. "There" is the V.A. Healthcare System
throughout the U.S. - Hospitals and clinics.

Also, I could have gone to a local hospital in San Diego under my
Medicare Advantage Plan. No charge for the treatment, but the
location was too inconvenient, and we were running late as it was.
Alma's sister was babysitting my home and cats.

Easier to pay the $50.00

>Feeling much better.
>Good to hear (< ha ha and again).
>
>Bubba and Pookie were very happy to see me!
>
>The only Pookie I know is the dog in Garfield

Bubba on the left; Pookie on the right.

https://i.ibb.co/CsxWGWS/Bubba-and-Pookie-1.jpg

>Hope your ear stays 'healed'.

Antibiotic drops three times a day. Feeling much better, thanks!

Sam Plusnet

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Dec 13, 2022, 2:51:38 PM12/13/22

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Your Usenet client seems to have messed that up, since (what I assume to
be) your interpolated responses to what Mack wrote are not separated
out, leaving the reader to guess who said what to whom.

--
Sam Plusnet

soup

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Dec 15, 2022, 3:05:59 AM12/15/22

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> I noticed that too. But it has never happened to me before (I bet he
say's that to all the girls). I have no idea how it happened, no
updates since last posting, no change of usenet client, 'no nothing'.

soup

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Dec 15, 2022, 6:14:30 AM12/15/22

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Pookie is not the dog, that is Odie

Pookie is Garfield's teddy-bear

Paul Wolff

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Dec 15, 2022, 7:16:13 AM12/15/22

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On Thu, 15 Dec 2022, at 11:14:42, soup posted:

Pookie is a winged rabbit - children's books by Ivy Wallace, from 1946.
<https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1402647.Pookie>
Pookie was a childhood favourite of my wife's.
--
Paul W

Mack A. Damia

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Dec 15, 2022, 10:38:33 AM12/15/22

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Pookie is (was) Soupy Sales' puppet along with "Hippy".

Pookie the Lion and Hippie the Hippo:

https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-the-soupy-sales-show-pookie-the-lion-hippie-the-hippo-soupy-sales-128608595.html

soup

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Dec 16, 2022, 1:52:52 PM12/16/22

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May well have spelt(spelled) it wrong, but he is sometimes referred+ to
as Pookie. So brownie points all-round I feel.
https://garfield.fandom.com/wiki/Pooky