Looking for interpretation of these jokes.
DJ Kim
1. The hillbilly said to his city friend, "Guess what, Rufus? I found a
condom on the patio." The city boy asked, "What's a patio?"
2. Then there was the famous Scottish gay activist, Phil McCrevis.
Is this joke funny because Phil McCrevis sounds like "Fill My Crevis"?
3. Though he was skillful using a salami in their lovemaking, nothing was so
exciting to Joe's lover as when he cooed, "Hang on, darling... the wurst is
yet to come!"
Thanks in advance.
Perchprism
DJ wrote:
>From: "DJ Kim" <king...@bigfoot.com>
>Date: 10/1/98 7:20 AM Eastern Daylight Time
>Message-id: <LzJQ1.164$Su5.5...@news.bora.net>
>
>Again, I'm looking for interpretation of these jokes.
>
>1. The hillbilly said to his city friend, "Guess what, Rufus? I found a
>condom on the patio." The city boy asked, "What's a patio?"
I don't get this one.
>2. Then there was the famous Scottish gay activist, Phil McCrevis.
>
>Is this joke funny because Phil McCrevis sounds like "Fill My Crevis"?
"fill my *crevice*" It's not funny.
>3. Though he was skillful using a salami in their lovemaking, nothing was so
>exciting to Joe's lover as when he cooed, "Hang on, darling... the wurst is
>yet to come!"
Look up the word "wurst." Sounds like "worst." "The worst is yet to come" is an
inversion of the often-heard "the best is yet to come." Not only not funny.
Um, look, DJ -- if your purpose is to understand the Western sense of humor,
get a different book. If your purpose is to understand English usage as it
applies to joke writing, get a different book. These three are so offensive I'm
losing interest in doing this.
Perchprism
"Of two cigars, pick the longest and the strongest." Winston Churchill
H.W.M.
DJ Kim wrote:
You perverted Korean joke- man again!
> 1. The hillbilly said to his city friend, "Guess what, Rufus? I found a
> condom on the patio." The city boy asked, "What's a patio?"
The hilbilly is not used to seeing condoms, the city boy is so used to condoms
but can not uderstand the luxury of having a patio and so much space.
> 2. Then there was the famous Scottish gay activist, Phil McCrevis.
>
> Is this joke funny because Phil McCrevis sounds like "Fill My Crevis"?
My goodness! You got it !
> 3. Though he was skillful using a salami in their lovemaking, nothing was so
> exciting to Joe's lover as when he cooed, "Hang on, darling... the wurst is
> yet to come!"
Salami is thinner than a wurst. Both are sausages. Bad-worse-worst. The worst is
yet to come is a commpn proverb. Here the "wurst" might be "better" if you like
a thick.... aaagghh go ask Bill Clinton!
--
Henry Wilhelm >>> henry.w @ gnwmail.com <<<
*********************************************
* I could be bounded in a nut-shell, *
* and count myself a king of infinite space,*
* were it not that I have bad dreams *
*********************************************
Henry Tickner
<king...@bigfoot.com> writes
>Again, I'm looking for interpretation of these jokes.
>
>condom on the patio." The city boy asked, "What's a patio?"
>
boy is (or rather was) not expected to know about condoms.
>
>2. Then there was the famous Scottish gay activist, Phil McCrevis.
>
>Is this joke funny because Phil McCrevis sounds like "Fill My Crevis"?
>
Phil McAvity - and the two englishmen Patrick FitzWilliam and William
FitzPatrick.
>
>3. Though he was skillful using a salami in their lovemaking, nothing was so
>exciting to Joe's lover as when he cooed, "Hang on, darling... the wurst is
>yet to come!"
>
more usual "the best is yet to come". "Salami" and "wurst" are both
types of sausage, and a sausage is shaped something like a penis (let's
ignore the question of size). The implication is that the "salami" is
being used as a dildo, and that the "wurst" represents Joe's penis - "to
come" being slang for "to ejaculate".
Kim, these are still terrible old jokes. But not as bad as some you've
posted - in fact the last one is almost funny.
--
Henry Tickner
The 'nospam' is my ISP's domain, the 'boudoir' is mine.
N.Mitchum
-----
> 1. The hillbilly said to his city friend, "Guess what, Rufus? I found a
> condom on the patio." The city boy asked, "What's a patio?"
The joke as I heard it was funnier. A mother speaking to her
8-year-old child delivers the first half (or some version of it).
The little boy asks what a patio is. The joke is that the kid
needs no explanation of condom.
------
> 2. Then there was the famous Scottish gay activist, Phil McCrevis.
>
> Is this joke funny because Phil McCrevis sounds like "Fill My Crevis"?
>......
It's *supposed* to be funny for that reason. In fact it's only
juvenile.
------
> 3. Though he was skillful using a salami in their lovemaking, nothing was so
> exciting to Joe's lover as when he cooed, "Hang on, darling... the wurst is
> yet to come!"
>.....
Compare salami and wurst, two types of sausage. Then understand
that there's a common expression, "The best is yet to come," with
the obvious variation of substituting "worst" for "best."
(Actually, I find this joke rather more clever than the others.)
----NM [If replying by e-mail, please heed my address]
Mark Daniels
DJ Kim wrote:
> Again, I'm looking for interpretation of these jokes.
>
>
Hmmm. Is this another Bun Mui clone? Or someone wanting to illicitly post
jokes on a.u.e under the guise of a usage-related question?
--
Mark Daniels
Belgrade,
Yugoslavia
Amusing, yet soul-penetratingly pertinent sig under construction.
Emailed copies welcome. Spam unwelcome. Remove XX's from email address to
respond.
DJ Kim
Perchprism 이(가) <19981001163412...@ng103.aol.com> wrote
>Um, look, DJ -- if your purpose is to understand the Western sense of
humor,
>get a different book. If your purpose is to understand English usage as it
>applies to joke writing, get a different book. These three are so offensive
I'm
>losing interest in doing this.
>
My purpose is to understand how word playing or twisting is used in English,
and I think the best source is jokes. My appology if these jokes were
offensive to you. Had I known it, i wouldn't have posted them. But as you
know, jokes are often offensive, and sometimes meant to be offensive.
Some kind people recommended other good humor books for me. I really
appreciate it. However, I'm not in pursuit of hilarity. If a joke is
translated into my mother tongue and is still funny, i do not think it
serves a roll as a learning material for English. At least, it's not what
i'm looking for. I'm going after those that absolutely don't make any sense
when translated into another language, and trying to find out why it must
funny in English.
DJ
Truly Donovan
wrote:
>If a joke is
>translated into my mother tongue and is still funny, i do not think it
>serves a roll as a learning material for English.
served on a roll
served a role
--
Truly Donovan
reply to truly at lunemere dot com
Perchprism
>Message-id: <5nwR1.336$Su5.1...@news.bora.net>
>
>
>Perchprism 이(가) <19981001163412...@ng103.aol.com> wrote
>
>>Um, look, DJ -- if your purpose is to understand the Western sense of
>humor,
>>get a different book. If your purpose is to understand English usage as it
>>applies to joke writing, get a different book. These three are so offensive
>I'm
>>losing interest in doing this.
>>
>
>
>My purpose is to understand how word playing or twisting is used in English,
>and I think the best source is jokes. My appology if these jokes were
>offensive to you. Had I known it, i wouldn't have posted them. But as you
>know, jokes are often offensive, and sometimes meant to be offensive.
>
>Some kind people recommended other good humor books for me. I really
>translated into my mother tongue and is still funny, i do not think it
>i'm looking for. I'm going after those that absolutely don't make any sense
>when translated into another language, and trying to find out why it must
>funny in English.
I understand. I have understood all along. Sorry if I hurt your feelings. But
if you post stuff about men sticking salamis up each other's asses and enjoying
it, you're going to get a reaction, at least if it's not funny. I'll try to be
cool about it for your sake.
MarkenAdms
<< Again, I'm looking for interpretation of these jokes.
1. The hillbilly said to his city friend, "Guess what, Rufus? I found a
condom on the patio." The city boy asked, "What's a patio?" >>
Near as I can tell, a "hillbilly", being a person of rural culture and very
unsophisticated knowledge of other ways of life, would not be expected to refer
to the area where he found the condom as a "patio". Nor would a hillbilly be
expected to make reference to a "lanai" rather than say "porch" or speak of a
"hypocaust" when he means a furnace mounted under a floor. A city boy would
not be expected to lack understanding of what a condom is. Modern cities are
cesspools where selfish adults persue personal gratification, including sex in
the streets or while tresspassing on another's dwelling patio if it is nearby a
drinking establishment, and it would be common for a city boy to find condoms
in all sorts of places where they don't belong.
<< 2. Then there was the famous Scottish gay activist, Phil McCrevis. Is this
joke funny because Phil McCrevis sounds like "Fill My Crevis"? >>
Yup. It's very similar to two well known Irish gay men: Henry Fitzpatrick and
Patrick Fitzhenry.
<< 3. Though he was skillful using a salami in their lovemaking, nothing was
so
exciting to Joe's lover as when he cooed, "Hang on, darling... the wurst is
yet to come!" >>
Wurst is a soft meat, salami a hard meat. You can spread wurst on bread, but
you have to slice salami and place it on the bread. Salami is also slang for
the male genitalia. This could be a joke of more than one interpretation then.
---- The world insists on being exactly the way it really is,---
--- no matter how little *sense* that makes. ---
Michael Wickenden
>...I'm going after those that absolutely don't make any sense
>when translated into another language, and trying to find out why it
>must funny in English.
What do you make of this one, DJ?
"Clinton stroked but he didn't impale."
Here are a few Alta Vista "translations" (followed by the original
joke):
Clinton frotte' mais lui n'a pas empale'
(Clinton fume' mais lui n'a pas inhale')
Gestrichenes Clinton aber er nicht nagelten fest
(Gerauchtes Clinton aber er nicht inhalierten)
Clinton segnato ma lui non ha infilzato
(Clinton fumato ma lui non ha inalato)
Clinton afagado mas na~o impale
(Clinton fumado mas na~o inhale)
Clinton frotado ligeramente sino e'l no empalo'
(Clinton fumado sino e'l no inhalo')
I think you'll agree that these translations make absolutely no sense -
although the German is, of course, very funny.
--
Michael
nancy g.
(re what Michael had referred to as "Alta Vista translations")
> It's also very incorrect. In fact, they are all incorrect.
> They have taken our simple past to be an adjective. So glad you
> put "translations" in quotes. Does anybody actually USE this resource?
> I never heard of it.
I use it on occasion. It's actually known as the "Babelfish" translator
(the name comes from the Hitchhiker's Guide series of books by Douglas Adams)
which is run by Alta Vista, a division of Digital (now Compaq), using Systran
software. The URL, if you wish to try it out for yourself, is
http://babelfish.altavista.digital.com/cgi-bin/translate
It's useless for providing "real" translations for anything -- that is,
you wouldn't be able to use it to translate words or phrases properly into
a different language so that they could be understood by native speakers of
that language without any awkward phrasing or inexact or incorrect words.
However, if you take it for what it is -- a useful tool when you come across
a brief foreign phrase while reading and want to get a general idea of what
that phrase means, or how it fits in context with what you're reading --
then it suits the purpose admirably.
I find it interesting, just as I do most search engines and any other examples
of how humans are attempting to get computers to actually "think" as they work,
instead of mechanically performing rote tasks. I enjoy the fact that they can
do these tasks at all, rather than noting how badly they do them. I assume the
technology will continue to improve as time goes on, much as speech recognition
software has done over the past decade. In the meantime, some of its errors
provide a source of amusement, and some provide an unexpected source of poetry
(one that I recall is when it translated a word that I assume was "tablecloth"
into something like "the cover of woven linen for the dinner.")
Now if only they'd add the ability to translate Latin to English, I'd be quite
satisfied. Is anyone reading this aware of a site where Latin/English translation
can be done easily? I lurk in a group where the participants often make up Latin
and pseudo-Latin quotes to use in their sig files, and it's sometimes a very long
process to trudge around on the Net trying to figure out what they meant.
nancy g
who's long since forgotten whatever
French and Latin I learned in high school
(and it wasn't much to begin with)