=SDC= Q05: A Question That Came From Nantucket

9 views
Skip to first unread message

Jerry Friedman

unread,
Aug 17, 2011, 6:45:39 PM8/17/11
to
Write a limerick in which the second and fifth lines end in the only
two words in abridged dictionaries that rhyme with the last word of
the first line. Five bonus Herdwicks if the fourth line ends with the
only word that rhymes with the last word of the third line. Rhymes
should be exact, meter should be smooth in the Panel's judgement, and
the limerick should make at least Learian sense. No sheep will be
lost if the third and fourth lines aren't indented.

All words must be in dictionaries. No nonce compounds. No rhymes
that require non-rhoticism, caught-is-cot, or marry-is-Mary-is-merry.

--
Jerry Friedman, T. O. Panelist

Reinhold {Rey} Aman

unread,
Aug 17, 2011, 10:23:01 PM8/17/11
to
Jerry Friedman wrote:
>
> No sheep will be lost if the third and fourth lines aren't indented.
>
Boo! Barbarian!

--
~~~ Reinhold {Rey} Aman ~~~

Mark Brader

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 1:29:26 AM8/18/11
to
Jerry Friedman:

> Write a limerick in which the second and fifth lines end in the only
> two words in abridged dictionaries that rhyme with the last word of
> the first line.

How on Earth are we supposed to know how many words in a particular
dictionary rhyme with a particular word?

The 3-word set I chose was picked from the web page
http://everything2.com/title/rhyme, but I certainly don't assert
that it's actually valid by the above criteria.

A limerick is a short poem
Without a connection to phloem
(At least usually,
You'll now clearly see)
With the first line somewhat like a proem.

--
Mark Brader And now write us
Toronto A devious quasipoem!
m...@vex.net --Richard Heathfield

My text in this article is in the public domain.

James Hogg

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 2:38:28 AM8/18/11
to
Mark Brader wrote:
> Jerry Friedman:
>> Write a limerick in which the second and fifth lines end in the only
>> two words in abridged dictionaries that rhyme with the last word of
>> the first line.
>
> How on Earth are we supposed to know how many words in a particular
> dictionary rhyme with a particular word?
>
> The 3-word set I chose was picked from the web page
> http://everything2.com/title/rhyme, but I certainly don't assert
> that it's actually valid by the above criteria.
>
> A limerick is a short poem
> Without a connection to phloem
> (At least usually,
> You'll now clearly see)
> With the first line somewhat like a proem.

Or this one, entitled "The Etymologist on the Bier":

As I stood by the draped catafalque
And surveyed the dead face, spread with talc,
Through a hole in the plinth
Came the whoosh of a synth;
I thought, "Is it a loan or a calque?"


--
James

LFS

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 3:00:18 AM8/18/11
to

<applause>


--
Laura
(emulate St. George for email)


Harrison Hill

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 3:02:36 AM8/18/11
to
On Aug 17, 11:45 pm, Jerry Friedman <je...@totally-official.com>
wrote:

While switching the levers of toggles
To work a machine that makes goggles,
I stand on a gradient
Which lights have made radiant.
So what must my mind do? It boggles!

Harrison Hill

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 3:47:17 AM8/18/11
to
On Aug 17, 11:45 pm, Jerry Friedman <je...@totally-official.com>
wrote:

My bed is incredibly lumpy
The worst of the best at being bumpy!
In surfeit of torpor
I'm rich (not a pauper!)
So that's why I'm often quite...

James Hogg

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 4:53:17 AM8/18/11
to

There was a young man with a torch,
Who was looking for something to scorch.
Then along came an oaf
With a freshly baked loaf,
And they both enjoyed toast on the porch.

(Apologies to speakers of variants of English [including myself] for
whom "porch" is not a perfect rhyme with the other two words.)

--
James

John Holmes

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 5:52:31 AM8/18/11
to

Does it help that today, August 18, has been declared National Bad Poetry
Day in America:
http://library.thinkquest.org/2886/aug.htm

Another one for Vinny to add to his collection of useful Days and Years of
things.

--
Regards
John
for mail: my initials plus a u e
at tpg dot com dot au

Vinny Burgoo

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 6:11:37 AM8/18/11
to

There are no coincidences in the SDC. The Panel is aware of everything.

--
VB
Though this particular Panellist was not aware of that

Harrison Hill

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 6:46:31 AM8/18/11
to

Oops, I had better withdraw this one, because it is making me jumpy.

James Hogg

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 7:16:19 AM8/18/11
to

By coincidence, I happen to have another limerick which I hope meets the
strict criteria:

A man whose name can't be divulged
Had pleasures in which he indulged:
He likes things that squelched
And people who belched
And parts of the body that bulged.

--
James

James Hogg

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 8:03:13 AM8/18/11
to

Oops! I had to correct a typo the spell chequer mist:

A man whose name can't be divulged
Had pleasures in which he indulged:

He liked things that squelched

Vinny Burgoo

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 8:12:20 AM8/18/11
to

Have some scrumpy.

--
VB

Vinny Burgoo

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 8:16:45 AM8/18/11
to

Preliminary ruling:

If 'catafalque' rhymes with 'talk' then so does 'orichalc'. Don't be
brassed off.

--
VB

Vinny Burgoo

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 8:03:08 AM8/18/11
to
In alt.usage.english, Mark Brader wrote:
>Jerry Friedman:
>> Write a limerick in which the second and fifth lines end in the only
>> two words in abridged dictionaries that rhyme with the last word of
>> the first line.
>
>How on Earth are we supposed to know how many words in a particular
>dictionary rhyme with a particular word?
>
>The 3-word set I chose was picked from the web page
>http://everything2.com/title/rhyme, but I certainly don't assert
>that it's actually valid by the above criteria.
>
> A limerick is a short poem
> Without a connection to phloem
> (At least usually,
> You'll now clearly see)
> With the first line somewhat like a proem.

Preliminary ruling:

'Poem', 'phloem' and 'proem' fit the bill but the scansion sucks.

--
VB

Vinny Burgoo

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 8:15:50 AM8/18/11
to
In alt.usage.english, James Hogg wrote:

An effulgent attempt.

--
VB

Vinny Burgoo

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 8:09:58 AM8/18/11
to
In alt.usage.english, Harrison Hill wrote:

'Joggles' etc.

--
VB

Vinny Burgoo

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 8:21:17 AM8/18/11
to
In alt.usage.english, James Hogg wrote:

Preliminary ruling:

Alas, the NSOED has a 'lorch', a variant of 'lorcha'. ('Nautch' ruled
out 'cos it requires non-rhoticism.)

--
VB

Peter Moylan

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 8:26:10 AM8/18/11
to

<applesauce>

But it took me ages to find the difference between your two versions.

--
Peter Moylan, Newcastle, NSW, Australia. http://www.pmoylan.org
For an e-mail address, see my web page.

Harrison Hill

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 8:30:46 AM8/18/11
to

I'm surprised James didn't finish with the stylisitically superior "In
the porch with their torch to debauch".

James Hogg

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 8:33:44 AM8/18/11
to

I didn't want to break the rules.

--
James

Harrison Hill

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 8:41:49 AM8/18/11
to
On Aug 17, 11:45 pm, Jerry Friedman <je...@totally-official.com>
wrote:

My outlook may not be the sunniest,
My jokes are not always the funniest,
But yellow like mustard
Consider my custard
By far and away it's the runniest!

Peter Moylan

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 8:42:37 AM8/18/11
to
??

I certainly wouldn't rhyme 'talk' with 'talc'.

Vinny Burgoo

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 8:59:30 AM8/18/11
to

You pass the test. The Panel sometimes employs deliberate errors to
check whether people are paying attention.

'Talc', natch.

--
VB

Jerry Friedman

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 9:14:17 AM8/18/11
to

A valiant attempt, but "punny" is in dictionaries and "punniest" is
easy to find.

LFS

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 9:23:04 AM8/18/11
to

Shouldn't that be "liked"?

I can't imagine how the panel will judge all these but you must be due a
whole flock by now.

LFS

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 9:25:54 AM8/18/11
to

Possibly because it doesn't make sense.

James Hogg

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 9:38:23 AM8/18/11
to

Not even Learian sense.

--
James

the Omrud

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 12:14:19 PM8/18/11
to
On 17/08/2011 23:45, Jerry Friedman wrote:
> Write a limerick in which the second and fifth lines end in the only
> two words in abridged dictionaries that rhyme with the last word of
> the first line. Five bonus Herdwicks if the fourth line ends with the
> only word that rhymes with the last word of the third line. Rhymes
> should be exact, meter should be smooth in the Panel's judgement, and
> the limerick should make at least Learian sense. No sheep will be
> lost if the third and fourth lines aren't indented.
>
> All words must be in dictionaries. No nonce compounds. No rhymes
> that require non-rhoticism, caught-is-cot, or marry-is-Mary-is-merry.

A horse with a coat coloured purple
Tried to fit a new coat on his curple
He turned round in a circle
And attempted to hurkle
But he ended up having to hirple.

Oh yes.

--
David

James Hogg

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 12:37:02 PM8/18/11
to

I don't care what the panelists say; I like it.

--
James

the Omrud

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 12:51:49 PM8/18/11
to

It gave me considerable pleasure, so I don't care if I have to go sheepless.

--
David

Vinny Burgoo

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 1:03:52 PM8/18/11
to

Preliminary ruling:

This meets all the criteria.

>Oh yes.

Steady, neddy.

--
VB

LFS

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 1:14:01 PM8/18/11
to

I am very impressed by the answers to this question and I hope that they
will be collected on the web site in their full glory.

the Omrud

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 2:15:25 PM8/18/11
to
On 18/08/2011 18:03, Vinny Burgoo wrote:

Preliminary response:

Thank you in anticipation.

>> Oh yes.
>
> Steady, neddy.

Bready. Oh, I see.

--
David

R H Draney

unread,
Aug 18, 2011, 4:11:41 PM8/18/11
to
John Holmes filted:

>
>Does it help that today, August 18, has been declared National Bad Poetry
>Day in America:
>http://library.thinkquest.org/2886/aug.htm

Looks like "Get Fuzzy" cartoonist Darby Conley jumped the gun by a couple of
days:

http://cdn.svcs.c2.uclick.com/c2/5fa45490a430012e2f8200163e41dd5b

....r


--
Me? Sarcastic?
Yeah, right.

John Dunlop

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 9:17:50 AM8/19/11
to
James Hogg:

> [the Omrud:]


>
>> A horse with a coat coloured purple
>> Tried to fit a new coat on his curple
>> He turned round in a circle
>> And attempted to hurkle
>> But he ended up having to hirple.
>>
>> Oh yes.
>
> I don't care what the panelists say; I like it.

I like anything that brings Roger Miller to mind:

Roses are red and violets are purple
Sugar is sweet and so is maple surple

--
John

Athel Cornish-Bowden

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 10:13:50 AM8/19/11
to

Me too.

Speaking of sheep, I learned today that a sheppey is defined as the
smallest distance (about 1.4 km) at which sheep remain picturesque
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_humorous_units_of_measurement).


--
athel

Jerry Friedman

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 11:02:41 AM8/19/11
to

Thank you!

Sheep will have to wait till we check "circle" and "hurkle".

the Omrud

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 11:10:23 AM8/19/11
to

I'll put the mint sauce on ice ...

--
David

James Hogg

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 11:48:51 AM8/19/11
to

While we're on the subject of food:

The fracture incurred by the elk
Was healed with the aid of a spelk
By a chap in our midst
Who said things like "thou didst"
And "methinks" and "I'm partial to whelk."

(Hoping that the word "spelk" is in the NSOED as one of only two words
rhyming with "elk". If it hadn't been intended to comply with the strict
rules enforced in this contest, this limerick might have ended with "I
dig Lawrence Welk.")

--
James

the Omrud

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 11:59:09 AM8/19/11
to

Very nice. I toyed with didst and midst for a while, but I couldn't fit
them into an sort of sense, Learian or otherwise.

--
David

Vinny Burgoo

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 12:15:49 PM8/19/11
to

I'm afraid the NSOED has 'opercle'. Stress on the second syllable.

--
VB
T. O. Panel(l)ist

Vinny Burgoo

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 12:20:57 PM8/19/11
to
In alt.usage.english, James Hogg wrote:

The NSOED does have 'spelk' but it also has 'belk', 'welk, 'selch',
'stelk' and 'yelk'.

--
VB
T. O. P.

franzi

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 12:26:16 PM8/19/11
to
the Omrud <usenet...@gmail.com> wrote
Non-compliantly, I suspect:

Heather (who answers to Erica)
Told her cousin (who lives in America):
"I'm utterly baffled,
My rhymes have been snaffled
For these =SDC= esoterica."
--
franzi

franzi

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 1:03:02 PM8/19/11
to
franzi <et.in.arca...@googlemail.com> wrote

>Non-compliantly, I suspect:
>
>Heather (who answers to Erica)
>Told her cousin (who lives in America):
> "I'm utterly baffled,
> My rhymes have been snaffled

The herdwicks will have to be raffled.

R H Draney

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 1:11:54 PM8/19/11
to
franzi filted:

Not one of mine:

A pious old Jew from Salonika,
Said, "For Christmas I'd like a harmonica."
His wife, to annoy him,
Said, "Feh! That's for goyim,"
And bought him a jew's harp for Hanukkah.

LFS

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 1:18:57 PM8/19/11
to
On 19/08/2011 16:48, James Hogg wrote:

Which would have been much funnier...

Jerry Friedman

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 1:21:00 PM8/19/11
to

To entertain you while you wait, I'd like to offer the Panel's proof
of concept:

A sailor insulted Lord Nelson.
While scraping along past the kelson
He grabbed at a lobster
That sneered like a mobster
And swatted his nose with its telson.

--
Jerry Friedman Totally Officially thinks that works.

Jerry Friedman

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 2:29:40 PM8/19/11
to

It's finally here, but be careful who you have taking care of it.

Your Cormo is marked with a stirpal
Design as if one would besperple
A zebra with leopard--
Too simple a shepherd
Might gaze and get giddy and turple.

--
Jerry Friedman, T. O. Belated OED Wildcardsearcher

the Omrud

unread,
Aug 19, 2011, 3:13:36 PM8/19/11
to

I will guard it carefully, unlike the shoulder of its cousin which is
currently being prepared to to go into the oven, and which I helped to
butcher (not kill, you understand, just reduce the carcass to joints).

--
David

Ian P Noble

unread,
Aug 21, 2011, 4:24:14 AM8/21/11
to
On Thu, 18 Aug 2011 13:12:20 +0100, Vinny Burgoo <hlu...@yahoo.co.uk>
wrote:

>In alt.usage.english, Harrison Hill wrote:
>>On Aug 18, 8:47 am, Harrison Hill <harrish...@gmx.com> wrote:
>>> On Aug 17, 11:45 pm, Jerry Friedman <je...@totally-official.com>


>>> wrote:
>>>
>>> > Write a limerick in which the second and fifth lines end in the only
>>> > two words in abridged dictionaries that rhyme with the last word of
>>> > the first line.  Five bonus Herdwicks if the fourth line ends with the
>>> > only word that rhymes with the last word of the third line.  Rhymes
>>> > should be exact, meter should be smooth in the Panel's judgement, and
>>> > the limerick should make at least Learian sense.  No sheep will be
>>> > lost if the third and fourth lines aren't indented.
>>>
>>> > All words must be in dictionaries.  No nonce compounds.  No rhymes
>>> > that require non-rhoticism, caught-is-cot, or marry-is-Mary-is-merry.
>>>

>>> My bed is incredibly lumpy
>>> The worst of the best at being bumpy!
>>>    In surfeit of torpor
>>>    I'm rich (not a pauper!)
>>> So that's why I'm often quite...
>>
>>Oops, I had better withdraw this one, because it is making me jumpy.
>
>Have some scrumpy.

No thanks, I'm already rather dumpy.

Cheers - Ian
(BrE: Yorks., Hants.)

Richard Bollard

unread,
Aug 22, 2011, 7:03:47 PM8/22/11
to

It's from The Meaning of Liff.

SHEPPY (n.)
Measure of distance (equal to approximately seven eighths of a mile),
defined as the closest distance at which sheep remain picturesque.
--
Richard Bollard
Canberra Australia

To email, I'm at AMT not spAMT.

Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages