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\centerline{\scv A BIT OF}
\centerline{\scv OLD BATHGATE}
\centerline{\sc AND}
\centerline{\sciii SOME OF ITS WORTHIES}
\vskip 3pc
\centerline{---{}---{}---{}---{}---}
\vskip 3pc
\centerline{\scii By John Stirling}
}
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\centerline{\title A Bit Of Old Bathgate.}
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\centerline{---{}---{}---{}---{}---}
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At the regular meeting of The Lodge of Torphichen-\break
Kilwinning.\ No.\thinspace 13,
held in the Temple, Jarvey Street,
Bathgate, on Tuesday, 15th~Feb\-ruary, 1927, Bro.~John
Stirling, Secretary, delivered a lecture entitled ``A Bit
of Old Bathgate: some of its Worthies.'' There was a
large attendance of the Brethren, presided over by Bro.~T.K.\ Irvine,\ R.W.M.
The lecturer dealt principally
with Jarvey Street, Main Street, The Hill, Cochrane
Street, and High Street, bringing under review a number
of ``old characters'' who lived, moved, and had their
being in these areas. Bro.~Stirling said~---
\bigbreak
\noindent
Right Worshipful Master, Wardens and Brethren,
\hfill\break\indent
In acceding to the repeated demands of the Right
Worshipful Master to give a few reminiscences of
Bathgate, I have at last with much reluctance complied.
I have decided to entitle my subject~--- ``A Bit of Old
Bathgate: Some of its Worthies and Associations.''
Anything of a historical or antiquarian nature is always
considered ``a dry affair,'' but I shall endeavour to make
what I have to say as bright and cheerful and as
entertaining as possible.
At the outset, I may almost say that the place
whereon we stand is holy ground, this Temple having
been built on the site of the old Hopetoun Lodge, No.~181.
My grandfather was the Worthy Tyler of this
Lodge, and as a boy I had free access thereto. It was
from his lips that I learned how ``Auld Skyte for
Skyte'' acquired his nick-name. There had been a
quarrel in Jarvey Street, and the accused men were
being tried in Linlithgow.
The Sheriff requested the
witness to state what he knew of the case, when the
witness replied~--- ``The tain gaed the tain a skyte, and
the tither gaed the tither a skyte, and they skytted
awa' at yin anither till they skytted yin anither doon,''
a reply which created great laughter.
One of my oldest recollections in connection with
the old Lodge is when my aunt got married to Kenneth
M$^{\hbox{\tenrm c}}$Kenzie, a glass engraver in the old Bathgate Glass
Works. He was considered an expert of his art, and I
have reason to believe that the beaut\-iful decanters
which adorn the Master's table on Harmony nights, and
presented to the Auld~13 by Bro.~William~F.\thinspace Davidson,
P.M., were examples of his handicraft.
\centreline{Where Cavalry was Housed.}
I shall not attempt to give you a description of this
beautiful Temple~--- a brief sketch of which appears in
the Bye-laws of the Lodge~--- but will ask you, in
imagination, to accompany me in a brief pilgrimage to
the various places I intend to mention. We leave the
Temple and proceed to the end of Jarvey Street, where,
until recently, the National Bank had its Offices. This
in my young days was occupied as a hotel. It was here
where the cavalry regiments, when shifting from one
barracks to another arrived when on the march. The
officers were billeted in the hotel, and their horses
were stabled behind, the troop being dispersed and
billeted in different parts of the town. They ``fell in''
opposite the hotel next morning, and it was a great
treat for the boys to see them depart. One of the finest
sights I ever witnessed in this connection was when the
Dragoons were coming in the Muir Road, on a bright
summer afternoon, the sun shining on the brass helmets
made them glitter like a sheet of gold, the mounted
band playing a march in which was incorporated the tunes
``Auld Robin Gray'' and ``My Love she's but a Lassie
yet.'' It made one feel they'd like tae gang and be a
sodger. We had visits at different times from the
Inniskilling Dragoons, the Lancers, the Hussars, and
Scots Greys~--- Bro.~Thomas Shanks, of Auld~13, being
a Sergeant in the latter.
We will now cross the street to The Old Curiosity
Shop, presently occupied by a ``far famed and well
known'' printer (Bro.\ Stirling)~--- the favourite haunt of
a large number of members of the Craft, where many
jokes are told and cracked in the ``works'' (back shop).
This was at one time a chemist's shop, occupied by Mr
Stuart Brown, whose son quite recently purchased the
estate of Cathlaw. He laid the foundation of his fortune
in the wee shop in Jarvey Street. Methinks I hear
someone say~--- There are still fortunes being made in
that queer auld farrant place.
Next door, at one time, was housed the Volunteer
Armoury. It was here where I took the ``Queen's
Shilling,'' some four decades ago. The drill instructor's
name was Nathaniel, his by-name \penalty-50 being ``Old Nat.'' He
was a member of the old school and one of the finest
instructors in the Volunteer movement. I am pleased
to say we have two of his grandchildren present to-night
--- Brothers Thomas and Peter Nathaniel.
The shop now occupied as an Italian store was
the business premises of the late Bro.~Alexander
Davidson, plumber and tinsmith; he was the worthy
Secretary of this Lodge for many years.
Proceeding along Jarvey Street, we come to the
Corn Exchange. The Bathgate Market was held here,
horses and carts lining the street from the Bunker
(Brown's Square) right along to Bryson's Market Inn
at Mid Street Corner. The cereals were sold in the
Corn Exchange. It was here also that the farm servants
were hired.
In what was known as the New Kirkyaird, adjacent
to the present Parish Church, lies the body of
Geordie Puddin', the Bathgate gaberlunzie~--- a most
notorious character. The gravestone was erected by
J.\thinspace Calder, builder, and paid for by Thomas Durham
Weir of Boghead House.
The house presently occupied by Bro.~R.T.\thinspace Arbuckle,
dentist, was the National Bank premises before being
transferred to the other end of the street. John Johnston
was the Bank Agent; he also carried on a licensed
grocer's shop here, and farmed the farm of Ballencrieff
--- ``the east side of the burn.''
On the opposite side of the street, where the
Co-operative Buildings now stand was the Hopetoun
Inn and hiring establishment, which at a later date was
occupied by Dr Corbett, who is credited with having
called on John Newlands while on a visit to Jamaica
and suggested to him to remember his native town
in his will. Dr Corbett was a R.W.M.\ of Hopetoun
Lodge, No.\thinspace 181. The Little Advocate (Bro.~James
Gardner), resided here for a number of years.
Jack Robertson, the auld cobbler, lived next door
in a two-storey thatched house, which was nearly set
on fire at a Municipal Election, by a ``paraffin ball''
alighting on the roof. Luckily, the fire was put out
before it got a firm hold.
In those days the voting took place in the Corn
Exchange, the inhabitants turning out in hundreds
to await the result. The victorious candidates were
carried shoulder high to the nearest public house, where
they had to do the ``handsome.'' The public houses did
not close till 11 p.m.
Turning into Main Street, we pass what was the
residence of auld Jock Murray, nick-named the Polar
Bear. It was a three-storey tenement, known as the
Blue Tower, deriving its name from the fact that it was
the first house in Bathgate to be roofed with blue slates.
Passing up Market Street we arrive at the Hill, where
stood the Jail, in which was accommodated from time
to time such worthies as Singing Jim, the Rolling Eye,
Chic Chic, Katie Fuff, Dumbarton Jock, the Whale,
Hen Jock Bird, and Geordie Puddin'.
Later Characters in the locality were Bobby Blue,
Pipes o' Rory, Tidy Fa-lal, Sally Sharky, Nanny Douce,
Rab Tickler, Stulty Donal', the Pitcher, the Weasel,
the Hoolet, the Rat, the Stoup, Bobkin, Molly Greens,
the Jingler, Gad Wull, and Susy Dunbar.
Jock Bird and Geordie Puddin' were locked up
on one occasion at the same time, having quarrelled
as to who was to be boss at the digging of a drain.
\poem{%
They hadna been lang at their wark,\\
\quad No o'er an hour or twa,\\
Till there arose as wild a shine\\
\quad As mortal ever saw.\\
\stanza
Wha wad be maister coost them oot,\\
\quad Which spoil'd a' wark thegither;\\
As Puddin' flung a sholfu' up,\\
\quad The Bird flung doon anither.\\
\stanza
Jock made a spring at Puddin's throat\\
\quad Wi' firm, determined grip,\\
And savage, savage was the fecht\\
\quad Till Pillans locked them up.\\
\stanza
An' a' that day, an' a' that nicht,\\
\quad The Hill was kept in steer,\\
For when they werena singin' psalms\\
\quad They baith fell tae sweer.\\
}
\noindent
The Jail was latterly occupied as a storage for the
scavengers' besoms and clauts. It is now one of those
open spaces which Bro.~Irvine is so anxious to get
established throughout the town, swings having been
erected for the children.
\centreline{Alexander Marjori\-banks.}
To the right, some three or four hundred yards
distant, stands the beautiful ancestral home of the
Marjori\-banks', designed by the Bros.~Adams, famous
world wide known architects. Early in the 18th century
the estate of Bathgate passed from the House of Hopetoun
to that of Marjori\-banks. To Alexander Marjori\-banks
the people of Bathgate owe a deep debt of
gratitude. He insisted on contesting the will of John
Newlands against his heirs, who wanted the will set
aside, and he gave a guarantee that he would bear the
expense of the litigation. The case was fought in the
Court of Session, and decided in favour of the town. It
is said that the amount of money left was over {\pounds}60,000,
but after expenses had been paid there was only
{\pounds}15,000, which went towards the building of the present
Academy, the {\pounds}15,000 being only the interest on the
principal for ten years.
Mr Marjori\-banks was a very generous gentleman,
was \penalty-50 known as ``the good old laird,'' was a good friend
to Bathgate, was elected the first Provost of the town,
and deserves to be ever held in grateful memory. His
grandson is at present the minister of Stenton, Prestonkirk
parish, who is in possession of his grandfather's
pruning knife, a relic of bygone days. The family are
also in possession of numerous oil paintings and Biblical
engravings which at one time adorned the walls of Balbardie
House. It is a great pity that the estate passed
out of possession of the Marjori\-banks.
\centreline{John Newlands.}
About twenty yards to the right of the old Jail is
the site of the house where was born John Newlands,
founder of Bathgate Academy. The history of his going
to Jamaica, making a fortune, leaving same for the
education of the people of Bathgate is well known.
He was born on 17th April, 1737~--- that is the recognised
date, although there has always been some doubt about
it~--- in fact, it has now been proved that that was the
baptismal date. The house was long occupied as a
joiner's shop by John Boag.
\centreline{Sir James Young Simpson.}
About the same distance to the left from where we
stand is the birthplace of Sir James Young Simpson,
the discoverer of chloroform, who was born on 17th June
1811. His father was a baker, and his mother a good
pious woman, endowed with a vast amount of common
sense. One day (as a boy) when the future Professor
came into the house, with a big hole in the heel of his
stocking, she took him on her knee and darned the
stocking, remarking~--- ``My Jamie, when your mother's
awa', you'll remember that she was a gran' darner.''
At school he was of a steerin' disposition, and was
possessed of a remarkable memory; before and after
school hours he had to go to the baker's ``brod'' dispensing
``baps'' and scones to his father's customers. I
will not trace his university career, which was paid for
by his sister and brothers clubbing together. In 1832
he graduated as M.D., and was appointed to the Chair
of Midwifery in 1840.
The great discovery of chloroform was made in the
year 1847, and was hailed with acclamation and enthusiasm
throughout the world. He died at Queen
Street, Edin\-burgh, on 6th May, 1870, in his 59th year,
and never was man more lamented by all ranks and
classes of society. He was buried on the southern
slopes of Warriston Cemetery, the spectators being
estimated at over 100,000. His funeral was a great
and solemn ovation. The family were offered a burial
place in Westminster, but they wisely decided to bury
him in the city where he laboured with so much
acceptance. If ever man was a friend of the poor~---
that man was Sir James Young Simpson.
I have mentioned the names of three gentlemen~---
in fact, I may say three great philanthropists~--- two of
whom done a great deal for Bathgate, and one of them
inestimable good to mankind; still, Bathgate has not
yet seen its way to erect a memorial in memory of any
of them. So passeth away all earthly glory.
Proceeding down Main Street we pass the Tontine
Close, and the once famous Collogie~--- in which was a
place where the ``three balls'' held sway~--- you all know
what that means. It was here that Wallace made his
``ha'penny dips,'' the workers being known by the nick-name
of ``cracklins.'' We also pass three public houses
in close proximity~--- some twenty yards separating them.
In one of them, occupied by Mey Fyfe, auld Gad Wull
and his son were in ``killin' their craw.'' The son
ordered a quart of half-and-half. Auld Gad asked~---
``What's that ye've ca'd, George?'' ``Beer, faither,'' said
George. ``O man, ye shouldna ca'd that; there's nae
maut in't,'' quoth the father. Charlie Morrison's bake-house,
shop and dwelling-house stood at the right hand
bottom of Main Street.
\centreline{Dragoons and the Minister.}
At the foot of the hill stood the Auld Kirk. A
great dispute took place here at the ordination of a
minister, in 1717, against the wishes of the people. This
is best told in the following extract~:--
``The ministers serving the edict, knowing the badness
of their cause, and the evil part they were acting,
thought not fit to do it until they got a troop of Dragoons
to be a guard to them, and accordingly on 17th November
1717, being approaching the town, they caused beat
their drums, and draw their swords, and in this position
came through the town, guarding the ministers into the
church, riding and striking with their naked swords, at
the women and others standing gazing upon the wayside,
which was a melancholy Sabbath in Bathgate, the
Sabbath day being much profaned.''
\poem{%
The Kirk stood then doon at the Hill,\\
\quad And stands unto this day;\\
For lang it was a whisky shop,\\
\quad And roarin' trade did dae.\\
\stanza
An' awfu' rumpus here occurred\\
\quad At placin' of a curate,\\
Which fired their Presbyterian bluid,\\
\quad And made them quite infuriate.\\
\stanza
They took their cue frae Giles's Kirk,\\
\quad And famous Jenny Geddes;\\
The curate, fley'd, ran up the Style,\\
\quad Pursued by wives and laddies.\\
\stanza
A captain wi' a troop of horse\\
\quad Was posted no far by,\\
Wha gave command tae charge the crowd\\
\quad That on the Hill did lie\\
\stanza
In the melee a horseman fell,\\
\quad And ither twa were wounded;\\
While maister curate fled the toon,\\
\quad The cure ower hot he found it.\\
}
The church property was long in the possession of Mr~Hume
Chalmers. A cut from the sabre of one of the
Dragoons was long to be seen upon the door. Tradition
points out a tombstone within the old ruin of the Auld
Kirkyaird, bearing a large sword, said to be the tomb\-stone
of the Dragoon who was killed in the melee. The
Guard House, in which some of the Dragoons were
stationed, still stands at the corner of Dykehead Lane,
and is known as the Guard House to this day. Happily
we now live in much different and happier times.
\centreline{Professor Diney.}
\noindent
We shall now descend Cochrane Street, passing
Whipper\-gigg Wynd and Kamehead, till we come to the
house of Sandy Christie, one of Bathgate's most famous
curlers, who kept a licensed grocer's shop. He was
succeeded by John Forrest (``Jock Purr''), who for the
long period of close on thirty years acted as Treasurer
to the Bathgate Academy Procession. In this property
resided Alexander Hamilton, a famous barber~--- alias
Professor Diney. The Professor, in addition to being
a master in the tonsorial art, was a keen draughts
player, and it was difficult to snatch a game from him.
\looseness=-1
The late Bro.~Dr~Kirk related the following story
to me~:-- Wylie, the ``Herd Laddie,'' champion draughts
player of the world, was on a visit to Bathgate, and
residing with the late Bro.~Dr~Kirk's father. The old
Doctor had a visit to make at Avonbridge, and on the
way he called at Diney's and left the Herd Laddie till
his return. After a short conference, Diney asked the
Herd Laddie if he would like a game at the draughts.
The champion said he would; he had tried his hand
at the game but was not much of a player. Diney won
the first three games, and was in ecstasies. The Herd
Laddie won the next six games in succession, when
Diney, exasperated, jumped from his seat and declared
that ``he was either the Herd Laddie or the deil himsel'.''
The Professor shaved for a penny, and had the following
names for his razors~:-- Meadow Queen, Scotland Yet,
Honey Bee, Rattlesnake, and the Rasper.
After all, there was nothing wonderful in Diney
shaving for a penny. I myself have had many shaves
for a penny by Jock Newlands, who resided in Hopetoun
Street. I remember on one occasion, my wife
having had a long illness, Jock, out of stark love and
kindness, having shaved me, I proffered the customary % sic~-ery
penny he said~-- ``Nevell mind, John, ye've had a lot tae
dae the noo; keep ye'll penny.'' The following verses
are by Poet Shanks~:--
\poem{%
Half way betwixt the Prison Hill,\\
And what was yince the Bathgate Mill,\\
There lived~-- nay, there is living still,\\
\quad\quad The great Professor Diney.\\
\stanza
A spotless apron, pure and white,\\
Hangs gaily owre his gurdy kyte,\\
In sark sleeves, morning, noon and night,\\
\quad\quad Goes great Professor Diney.\\
\stanza
Wi' blandest smile and easy grace,\\
He tak's the handle o' your face;\\
The king o' a' the barber race\\
\quad\quad Is great Professor Diney.\\
\stanza
Syne what a loving way he's got\\
O' lingering about ones throat;\\
Ye Gods! if drunk, or mad, what not,\\
\quad\quad Might do Professor Diney.\\
\stanza
For stylish cut, and quick dispatch,\\
In Scotland braid there's not his match;\\
And who a game at draughts can snatch\\
\quad\quad From great Professor Diney.\\
}
We will now retrace our steps up Cochrane Street
and Main Street, till we reach the Cross Keys public
house, now occupied by Mr~Webster as a confectioner's
shop. Next door to this was the baker's shop of Bailie
Alexander Russell; it is now occupied as a private
dwelling. Bailie Russell served in the Town Council
for the period of 35 years. We now reach~:--
\tiedcentreline{The Sun Inn.}
On the 25th January 1892, there passed away in
the old ``Railway Inn,'' James Bowie, who for 90 years,
had passed his days and nights under its roof. The
house belonged to his father, and in his time was called
``The Sun Inn,'' a flaming representation of which was
placed over the door, with the legend or motto under\-neath
--- ``The best whisky under the sun.'' It must have
been good and pure, for Dr~Kirk (the late Bro.~Kirk's
father) always recommended his patients, when prescribing
spirits, to go to James Bowie's. He was
rarely called by his baptismal name, but as ``Provost
Bowie.''
\tiedcentreline{Provost Before he was Born.}
The origin of the title given to him was thus~:--
Previous to the erection of Bathgate into a Burgh, Tom
Dick, afterwards Town Clerk, and the Laird of Mar\-jori\-banks
and Balbardie (of sainted memory) were in
the ``Sun Inn'' discussing the prospects of securing from
Parliament the much coveted Act. Mr~Marjori\-banks
said, ``I think, Mr~Dick, if we secure the Act from
Parliament, that we might, with great propriety, make
the next son born to Mr~Bowie our first Provost.''
``Agreed, Laird, agreed,'' said Tom Dick. When a son
was born to the host of the ``Sun Inn,'' Mr~Dick hastened
over to ``the big hoose'' and requested the Laird to
come and see Bathgate's first Provost.
That was the origin of the title, and Bowie used to
say, ``I was made a Provost before I was born.'' In
addition to carrying on the Inn, he wrought fields
near the farm of Hardhill. He always wore a satin or
``lum'' hat, and visited the fields in that garb.
A lover of dumb animals, he had a number of cats
and dogs; he also had in his possession a monkey which
was a gifted character. It was known as ``Batty Bowie's
Puggy,'' and it is said that the monkey used to get hold
of one of the cats, plunge its paws into hot soup, in
search of a bone for his satanic majesty~--- a sure way of
preserving his own skin. The puggy as it grew older
showed signs of a ferocious nature, and was presented % sic verocious
to the Edin\-burgh Zoological Gardens, much to the
relief of the maids, cats and dogs, at whom he was con\-tinually
snapping. Years after when Bowie paid a
visit to the Gardens he observed a cage with a warning
notice for visitors to keep back, as the monkey was
dangerous. Notwithstanding the warning of the keeper
the Provost entered the cage, when the monkey recog\-nised
his old master and went wild with joy. Amongst
his other favourites was a long-legged black and white
``soo,'' and a ``wee timorous beastie'' which he fed daily.
His horses were named Rachin, Dobbie, Haddington
Horse, and the Priest.
Bowie was a keen Freemason, and was a member
of ``Auld 13'' for the long period of 63 years. The
toddy tumblers at that time were rather narrow at the
bottom, and were frequently capsized. At the instru\-mentation
of Bro.~Bowie several dozens much broader
bottomed tumblers were secured~--- the only remaining
one left in 1892 was in possession of the proprietor of
``Ye Howff,'' Bro.\ James Wallace, a small chip off the
edge being the only damage it had sustained during the
wonderful occasions when the Brethren were called
from ``Labour to Refreshment.''
The ``Provost'' was possessed of remarkable eye\-sight,
and one of his accomplishments was that he could
write the Lord's Prayer on a space which a sixpenny
piece would cover, and so good was his eyesight and
so steady his hand that he performed this feat a few
months before his death.
\centreline{A Relic of Prince Charlie.}
The ``Provost's'' mother was the possessor of a
precious relic of Prince Charlie, in the shape of a set
of Royal Stuart Tartan Curtains, which adorned the
bed on which the Prince slept, on the night in which
he passed in the old Deans mansion. They were pur\-chased
by Mrs~Bowie at the plenishing sale of the old
mansion house, and they adorned two beds in an upstairs
room of the Railway Inn for many years. One set was
mutilated by parties cutting off portions as mementoes
of the unfortunate Prince; {\pounds}5 was offered for the other
set, but refused.
One of the retainers of the Cross Keys and Railway
Inn was Jock Shirra. For over forty years Jock assisted
in dispensing pies and drams~--- a special treat on the
Fair days; latterly, when the tall and buirdly frame of
Jock began to bend, he told his old employer that he
was not ``soople eneugh,'' but the ``Provost'' and his
customers had been so long accustomed to the cheery
and good-humoured countenance of Jock that he was
urged to ``come aboot the hoose for luck's sake,'' and
sit by the ``fire en';'' and so to the end he was always
a welcome visitor at the auld thack hoose.
\centreline{The Bunker.}
On entering Brown's Square (the Bunker), we find
Mary Cherry, Bathgate's first and only lady carter;
Mary was a hard working woman, and carted coals from
Balbardie Mine to her various customers throughout
the town. There also resided here Bee Rab, San Ponder
and his cuddy, Jamie Kirkland and his cuddy, and
``Coachy'' Alexander, ostler to Batty Bowie.
The Bunker was once the gathering ground of the
travelling shows~--- ``penny gaffs'' and shooting saloons,
and was a favourite resort of the travelling acrobat. I
have seen Old Malabar, a famous Glasgow character,
perform here many times. The principal feature of his
show was to throw a cricket ball as far up in the air as
he could and catch it in a cup attached to his forehead,
a feat in which he never failed.
Delaney, ``Orr's long clown,'' also had his outside
show here. His principal feat was to stand on a horse's
bare back~--- the horse galloping round the ring~--- and
throw off waistcoat after waistcoat; it was generally
considered that he had over two dozen waistcoats on.
He died in Broxburn, and it is good to relate that he
had a good friend there in the person of Bro.~Norman
Henderson, who was a native of Bathgate, and manag\-ing
director of Broxburn Oil Company from its incep\-tion
till his death.
\centreline{That's Him~--- That's Starkie.}
We shall now ascend High Street, known in the
olden days as ``Shuttle Row,'' passing on the way the
abode of Dr Kirk; the house occupied by Dominie
Macgregor, who taught a day school at ``Kallifat'' and
a night school in the old Masonic Lodge, Gideon Street;
also the houses occupied by Thomas Dodds, solicitor,
Dr Dickson and Dr Longmuir~--- now occupied by Bro.\
James A.~Pow, the respected treasurer of this Lodge.
We arrive opposite the abode of ``Starkie,'' the next
house being occupied by the ``Apostle'' Fleming.
\poem{%
As up high Bathgate street ye spiel,\\
An' fore a wee snug theekit biel,\\
You spy a queer auld farrant chiel,\\
\quad\quad Stript tae the sarkie,\\
An' borin' pump wi' cautious skeel~---\\
\quad\quad That's him~-- that's Starkie\\
}
\noindent
John Stark, the far-famed and well-known ``Starkie,''
passed \penalty-50 peacefully away 'mid the gloom of a December
morning in the year 1882. Possessed of a kindly,
cheery and obliging disposition, he was always ready to
lend a helping hand to any scheme intended for the
benefit or welfare of neighbours. He was never so
thoroughly in his element as when sitting at the head
of his plain, yet substantially loaded table, dispensing
haggis and beef and greens, interspersed with ``willie
wauchts'' from his stoneware bottle. He was a first-class
maker of peeries, boys coming from all parts of
the town for one of Starkie's ``wummers.''
A great and intense admirer of our National Bard,
he always celebrated, along with a few kindred spirits,
the Poet's natal day, when he left pumps and peeries,
wash tubs and spinning wheels, to take care of themselves.
``The Immortal Memory'' was always proposed by
Mine Host, and never in any gathering was it drank
with more enthusiasm. As the night wore on, assisted
by John Barleycorn, they sung lustily ``The cock may
craw, the day may daw,'' and ``Auld Lang Syne'' time
about. I am creditably informed that the king of the
song was auld Starkie, he being the last to fa' beneath
the table. Tom Anderson, the joiner, was always
present at the Burns splores, and the event is immortalized
thus by the Blind Poet of the Deans~---
\poem{%
When Joiner Tam and he foregather,\\
A kindred spirit~--- sic anither~---\\
They'll sit far on for days thegither,\\
\quad\quad O'er glass hobnobbin';\\
Their tongues it wad be vain to tether\\
\quad\quad When loosed on Robin.\\
\stanza
These twin enthusiasts agree\\
That Robin fairly taps the tree;\\
A' ither bards maun bow the knee\\
\quad\quad When Robin sings;\\
He is, and ever more shall be,\\
\quad\quad The King o' Kings.\\
}
A great Academy Procession enthusiast, his house
(which was a thatched one) was always decked on
Procession day with nick-nacks of all conceivable kinds,
among them being a model of ``Burns at the Plough,''
and ``Jenny at her Spinning Wheel,'' both of which
were made by Starkie. He had a piece of calico about
3ft.\ square, which he never failed to hang out, with
the verse printed thereon from Burns' Address to the
Brethren of St.~James' Lodge, Tarbolton~---
\poem{%
A last request permit me here,\\
\quad When yearly ye' assemble a';\\
One round~-- I ask it wi' a tear~---\\
\quad Tae him, the Bard that's far awa'.\\
}
\noindent
The two following verses are by Bro.~Robert Fleming~---
\poem{%
Oor Burns enthusiasts will greet,\\
When they reca' the oors sae sweet,\\
That they did spend when a' did meet,\\
\quad\quad Tae weet their craggies,\\
And fill their wames at Starkie's fete\\
\quad\quad Wi' famous haggis.\\
\stanza
His guns and pistols, jugs and skulls,\\
His dirks and swurds, an' auld snuff mulls,\\
His picture books an' ancient quills,\\
\quad\quad His nick-nacks a',\\
May a' be scattered tae the hills\\
\quad\quad Sin' Stark's awa'.\\
}
\noindent
I conclude my remarks on Starkie by quoting the under-noted
verses from ``The Auld Bathgate Worthies''~---
\poem{%
Noo gane is auld Starkie,\\
His nick-nacks and larkie,\\
Tae whiten and moulder\\
\quad\quad In cauld, wormy clay;\\
The bairnies, a' bleerie,\\
Nae mair dose their peerie,\\
The auld Bathgate worthies\\
\quad\quad Are a' wede away.\\
\stanza
Farewell for ever, Starkie!\\
Perhaps thy wee bit larkie\\
To thee in ither realms\\
\quad\quad Pours out its lay;\\
Thy link has burst at last\\
That bound us to the past~---\\
The auld Bathgate worthies\\
\quad\quad Are a' wede away.\\
}
I do not intend to go any further with you at this
time, but will take you down to the corner of Gideon
Street, and leave you in ``Ye Howff,'' presently occupied
by Bro.\ Tom Wallace~--- the meeting place of the once
famous Breeches Club: a subject for a paper by itself.
The only remaining member of that one time popular
and select Literary Society is Bro.\ Robert Waddell, the
worthy Bible-Bearer of Auld Thirteen. Let me here
introduce you to an old Bathgate worthy~---
\tiedcentreline{James Thornton, the Drummer.}
In June 1892, the grave closed over one of Bathgate's
well-known characters~--- James Thornton, better
known as ``Pousless.'' Jims was a wiry wee body, and
active. He was all out for peace, and woe betide the
boys he caught turning on taps at wells, running away
the water; he generally cuffed their ears and afterwards
said ``It's a pelfeck disglace that a pack o' scoondlels
should be allowed to pack the tholofale,'' and told them
that he would hand them owre by, viz, the Police Office.
He was a regular attender at the Burgh Court, and
nothing pleased him better than when a severe sentence
was imposed. Jims, for well nigh half a century, with
his ``dlum'' ushered in the Procession morning playing
``Fire in the mountains, rin boys rin,'' or ``The British
Grenadiers,'' his two favourite tunes. It was a common
thing for boys in those days to be up on Procession
Day any time between three and five o'clock in the
morning. ``Pousless' was in the habit of attending
the slaughter house. One day he got a pudding filled
with blood, and rolled it round his neck. He went
home and asked his mother for a penny, stating that if
she refused he would cut his ``thloat,'' which he
did, falling on the floor with the blood streaming from
the pudding, his mother rushing out to the street
exclaiming that ``Jims had cut his throat.''
The following stanzas by Poet Fleming, a member
of Auld Thirteen, depict Jims to a nicety~:---
\tightpoem{%
Wha's yon wee bit bodie that steers up an' doon,\\
As if he was laird o' the hale country roun',\\
Aye lauching' an' nodding, or hummin' a tune?~---\\
\quad Yon's Jims~-- Jamie Tholnton, the ``Dlummel.''\\
\stanza
At meetin' or market ye'll fin' Jamie there,\\
At Coort or at concert, at kirk or at fair;\\
Nane move a mair consequential air\\
\quad Than wee Jamie Tholnton, the ``Dlummel.''\\
\stanza
Like the gallant ``John Murray,'' he's well versed in law,\\
An' wi' Jims it was whyles unco dangerous to thraw;\\
Gin his heid begoud shakin', 'twas time to g'awa',\\
\quad Or ye sune cam' to grief wi' the ``Dlummel.''\\
\stanza
But noo since his auld frien' the ``Shillah'' is deid,\\
Jims disna sae muckle wi' the law fash his heid;\\
The Coort-room to him is a cauld place indeed,\\
\quad For nae Lordship shakes hands wi' the ``Dlummel.''\\
\stanza
As ``Protector of Peace'' there didna reside,\\
When young, Jamie's equal in this country side;\\
Oor polismen noo are sae slow i' the ``stride,''\\
\quad They never could cope wi' the ``Dlummel.''\\
\stanza
If a laddie had touched a well on the street,\\
An' Jims chanced to be on his every day ``beat,''\\
It was ``charge,'' an' a rin boys rin ``retreat,''\\
\quad Or a ``cuff o' the lug'' frae the ``Dlummel.''\\
\stanza
In his palmiest days, oor ``loafers'' fared bad,\\
For a stamp wi' his fit gar'd a' quickly ``pad''~---\\
A ``pelfect disglace'' that men ``dlunk an' ill clad''\\
\quad Should lounge on oor streets, quo' the ``Dlummel.''\\
\stanza
An' as for a ``baker'' auld ``Charlie'' could tell,\\
There wisna a baker wi' Jims could excel;\\
For carryin' heidfu's, piled up by the ell,\\
\quad ``Lobie White'' had nae chance wi' the ``Dlummel.''\\
\stanza
An' as a toon's ``dlummel,'' he hisna a peer,\\
Frae the Cannibal Isles to the toon o' the ``Queer;''\\
His notes are sae true, aye, sae sweet, and sae clear~---\\
\quad A ``model'' musician's oor ``Dlummel.''\\
\stanza
Folk bounce and blaw aboot yin Johnnie Bain,\\
While some praise Jock Gardner, or Alec M$^{\hbox{\sevenrm c}}$Lean~---\\
It's bombast! There's nane here, or e'en ower the main,\\
\quad Could ``play the ae side'' o' oor ``Dlummel.''\\
}
\centreline{James Forrest.}
I cannot close without making a short reference to
one who was much loved and respected by all who
know him~--- the late Bro.\ James Forrest, the much
esteemed Bard of Lodge No.\thinspace 13. To his flawless
integrity in all relations of life, to his geniality and
generosity in every sense of the word, and to his wholly
delightful urbanity and charm of manner, all who knew
him bear unfaltering testimony.
James Forrest was no ordinary man. No one in
the district had a better knowledge of the folk lore
and ballad literature of Scotland; he had a keen appreciation
of Scottish humour, and had a never failing budget
of anecdote. He had a most extensive knowledge of
old Bathgate and its worthies; it was a special delight
to sit and listen to him relate stories of old Bathgate
scenes of long ago. He was endowed with a happy
temperament, a never failing fund of jollity and good
humour, and possessed of fine literary taste. One of
the finest traits in his character was a love for dumb
animals; he was well versed in the habits and haunts
of the birds of the district. He was tall in stature,
and in every respect of the word a gentleman.
\poem{%
His life was gentle; and the elements\\
So mixed in him that Nature might stand up\\
And say to all the world: This was a Man.\\
}
Bro.\ Forrest was the Secretary of the Beeches Club
from the time of its inauguration till its decease; his
reading of the minutes was a literary treat, and often
much more enjoyed than the essay or lecture.
Possessed of much literary ability, he was the
author of ``The White Lady of Caputha' Bogs,'' a short
story which appeared in the local press; ``Bird Notes,''
``Scotland's Ploughman Bard,'' ``The Puir Wife's Brae,''
``A Day Among the Haws;'' ``The Old Firm at the
Old Address,'' being a graphic description he paid to
the old Livingston Inn, accompanied by the Poet of
the Deans; ``The Death and Burial of the Thrush;''
and a poetical effusion dedicated to his Mother Lodge,
Auld~13, sung to the tune of ``Scotland Yet,'' which I
reproduce in full~:---
\tightpoem{%
Beneath Kilwinning's auld roof tree,\\
\quad Assembled are we a',\\
To spend the hours in social glee,\\
\quad And drive dull care awa';\\
For round about this board to-night\\
\quad True Masons all are we~---\\
Dear Auld Thirteen, dear Auld Thirteen,\\
\quad Our Mother Lodge is she;\\
May fortune smile upon her Sons\\
\quad Wherever they may be.\\
\stanza
Within this mystic Temple, then,\\
\quad Let faith and hope entwine;\\
May Charity's effulgent robe\\
\quad Clothe all in love divine,\\
And Wisdom wait upon the Sons\\
\quad Of Light and Harmony~---\\
Dear Auld Thirteen, dear Auld Thirteen,\\
\quad Our Mother Lodge is she;\\
May fortune smile upon her Sons\\
\quad Wherever they may be.\\
\stanza
Amid the changing scene of life,\\
\quad 'Mid worldly strife and care,\\
Let all our actions fashioned be\\
By the Compass and the Square:\\
And, mindful of Life's Golden Rule,\\
\quad Join Love and Unity~---\\
Dear Auld Thirteen, dear Auld Thirteen,\\
\quad Our Mother Lodge is she;\\
May fortune smile upon her Sons\\
\quad Wherever they may be.\\
\stanza
Of orders kings and nobles boast,\\
\quad Of starts and royal blood,\\
Antiquity is stamped on ours,\\
\quad It dates from near the flood;\\
O'er all the world our Order's known\\
\quad By deeds of Charity~---\\
Dear Auld Thirteen, dear Auld Thirteen,\\
\quad Our Mother Lodge is she;\\
May fortune smile upon her Sons\\
\quad Wherever they may be.\\
\stanza
Then to the Craft let's pledge a toast,\\
\quad With honours three time three,\\
Auld Thirteen's Sons in every land,\\
\quad True Masons may they be:\\
They'll find across Life's troublous scene\\
\quad A blessed eternity~---\\
Dear Auld Thirteen, dear Auld Thirteen,\\
\quad Our Mother Lodge is she;\\
May fortune smile upon her Sons\\
\quad Wherever they may be.\\
}
He was laid to rest in the Auld Kirkyaird at
Kirkton, on Friday, 7th July 1916, a deputation from
the Lodge of Auld Thirteen paying him the tribute of
following his remains to the last scene of all~--- that
borne from which there is no returning. I have no
hesitation in saying, and I conscientiously believe,
that James Forrest would face the Grand Architect of the
Universe with a clear conscience, and that he would
receive the ``Well done, good and faithful servant.''
``After life's fever, he sleeps well.'' In the words of
A.M.\thinspace Bisset~---
\poem{%
Nae mair he'll spiel the Puir Wife's Brae\\
At dewy dawn or gloamin' grey,\\
To tune his heart to Doric lay,\\
\quad\quad An' muse alane;\\
For doon the gait we a' maun gae\\
\quad\quad Has Forrest gane.\\
}
A great many of Bathgate's old actors have made
their exit from life's stage: the lights have been turned
off, and the curtain rung down.
Vale!\ old friends, take you for all in all, when
shall we look upon your like again?
\vfil\eject
\vglue .5in
\wantheadfalse
\centerline{\title A Relic Of The '45.}
\bigskip
\bigskip
\centerline{---{}---{}---{}---{}---}
\bigskip
\bigskip
\centerline{ADDENDUM}
\bigskip
\centerline{To the Lecture on ``A Bit of Old Bathgate.''}
\bigskip
\centerline{---{}---{}---{}---{}---}
\medskip
\bigskip
\noindent
At the regular Meeting of The Lodge of Torphichen\discretionary{-}{}{-}%
Kil\-winning,\ No.\thinspace 13, held in the Temple, on Tuesday,
3rd May 1927~--- Bro.\ T.K.\thinspace Irvine, R.W.M., presiding~---
Bro.~John Stirling said~:--- Right Worshipful Master,
Wardens and Brethren,~--- In the recent address which
I gave on Bathgate Characters, I made reference to the
curtains which were in possession of the late Bro.\
``Provost'' Bowie, and which adorned the bed on which
Prince Charlie slept in the Deans Mansion House, or
more correctly speaking, Boghall House. The mansion
was the property of Colonel Norvell, and was occupied
by the Norvell family. I lost all trace of the curtains
after the death of the ``Provost,'' and at one time
thought they had gone into possession of John Macnab
of the Glen, he having procured the old hostel occupied
by Bowie.
I am pleased to say that I am now the happy
possessor of those historical relics, Mrs Kirk having
very kindly presented them to me. They came into
possession of the late Bro.\ Dr~Kirk at the death of
the ``Provost.'' They are made of the best worsted
material, of the Royal Stuart tartan, and although close
on 200 years old, are in a fairly good state of preservation.
The visit of the Prince to the locality and the
history of the curtains are mentioned in ``Rambles
Round Bathgate,'' by Mr~Convery, and are chronicled
in the ``Rhyming History of Bathgate,'' by Alexander
Hamilton, the poet of Kirkroads, as under~:---
\poem{%
This brings us tae the 'Forty five,\\
\quad 'Tae Charlie and the Clans,\\
Wha slept ae nicht on Bathgate Hills\\
\quad When gaun tae Prestonpans.\\
\stanza
The rank and file, row'd in their plaids,\\
\quad Lay doon at Clinkinstane,\\
While Lord George Murray wi' the Prince\\
\quad Unto the Deans has gane.\\
\stanza
A royal banquet there was spread,\\
\quad Wi' Norvell at its head,\\
Wha drank tae Johnny Cope's defeat\\
\quad Before they gaed to bed.\\
\stanza
A worthy Provost in our toon,\\
\quad Within his house can show\\
The curtains o' the Prince's bed,\\
\quad The counterpane an' a'.\\
\stanza
At dawn o' day the Cameron Clan\\
\quad Brak' in on Lizzie Meikle,\\
And toom'd her girnal and her kirn,\\
\quad Which put her in a pickle.\\
\stanza
Some ran wi' jugfu's o' the cream,\\
\quad And made it into crowdie;\\
While others clap'd theirs on the fire\\
\quad For brochin and powsowdie.\\
\stanza
Brave Lizzie ran straight to Lochiel,\\
\quad And telt him 'bout his men;\\
The Chieftan laugh'd, and frae his purse\\
\quad Drew gouden pieces ten,\\
\stanza
And flung them right intae her lap,\\
\quad Then turn'd and wish'd good-bye;\\
And lang did Lizzie Meikle tell\\
\quad She ne'er made mair aff kye.\\
}
The Deans had in those days a fine baronial hall.
It formed part of the ancient Barony of Boghall, and
at that time there were between thirty and forty
crofters on the estate; there was also a smithy, which
was famed for the manufacture of tackets. There was
also a thirling mill, and the course of the old
mill lade could be traced up to quite recently.
Norvell, who presided at the Prince Charlie banquet,
was Laird of the Deans; the worthy Provost
referred to, and who could show the curtains of the
Prince's bed, was Bro.\ James Bowie, of the Railway
Inn; Lizzie Meikle, whose ``girnal'' the Cameron Clan
plundered, was the great grandmother of Alexander
Hamilton; crowdie, brochin, and powsowdie, are
mixtures of milk, meal, and boiling water~--- forming
a kind of drummoch or ``het-gab.'' It is well known
that the Prince's army, when on the march, stole goods
and food wherever they could; and when found fault
with by the people whom they robbed, the soldiers said
they would be recompensed when ``Charlie cam' in tae
his ain.''
\centreline{Prince Charlie.}
Prince Charles Edward Stuart was born at Rome
on 31st December 1720, and was the grandson of James~VII.\ of
Scotland. At the age of 22 he conceived the
idea of recovering the throne of his ancestors. He
landed from France in the Highlands of Scotland in
1745 with seven attendants, and was joined by several
chiefs and their vassals. The force of Charlie was
small considering the great work that he was attempting,
but he was not deterred from advancing.
He left Perth on 10th September of that year, his
followers rapidly increasing, and crossed the Forth
above Stirling. He passed the night of the 15th at
Callander House; passed Linlithgow Bridge on the
16th, and proceeded through Linlithgow and Kirkliston
towards Edin\-burgh. It was while on this journey that
the Prince slept in the Deans Mansion House. He
captured Edin\-burgh, and afterwards gained the battle
of Prestonpans. He penetrated into England. His
rapid advance made the British Government tremble.
In not making straight for London he lost the ``move.''
He decided to retreat when at Derby, and arrived in
Glasgow at Christmas.
We shall always admit the loyalty displayed by
Prince \penalty-50 Charlie's followers in his unfortunate advance.
If he had pushed on for London, after the panic caused
by his first success, instead of wasting precious time
in Edin\-burgh, there is no saying what might have
happened. The weeks he spent there lost him the
Crown. When he did decide to advance, it was too
late; for his enemies had got over their panic, and were
fully prepared for resistance. Even at Derby if he had
persevered he might have been successful. Although
all hope was lost on Culloden Moor, there is a charm
about the adventure which cannot be extinguished.
The sad and pathetic ending of his career is well known
history, and need not be recorded here.
Upon invitation the Prince slept one night, if not
two, at the Mansion House of Boghall at the Deans, at
that time the seat of the Norvell family.
\centreline{Portrait of Prince Charlie.}
Mrs Kirk is in possession of a beautiful oil painting
of Bonnie Prince Charlie~--- considered to be an excellent
likeness~--- which also came out of Boghall House, and
was the property of the Norvell family. It was purchased
at a displenish sale~--- at which the curtains were
also sold~--- by Mr~Joseph Pearson, who afterwards
gave it to a gentleman in Edin\-burgh named Stuart, who
was supposed to be closely connected with that Royal
House. The Pearsons, who removed to Australia,
were related to the Shanks family.
The picture ultimately found its way back to the
Deans, when it came into possession of the family of
Poet Shanks. When the poet removed to Kirkton
Lodge it occupied a prominent place there. It is
supposed to be an authentic portrait of the unfortunate
prince. The Shanks family firmly believed it to be so,
and coming as it did from the Norvells, who had
strong Jacobite tendencies, it is more than likely to
be the case.
I was told by the Poet that the picture was to be
left to Dr Kirk, the conditions being that the Doctor
was to attend the Poet professionally till his death~--- a
duty which the Doctor nobly fulfilled. When the
Doctor received the picture he had it renovated and
reframed. I saw and admired it many times at Kirkton
Lodge~--- the Poet never forgetting to tell me where
its resting place was to be~--- and I had the pleasure
recently of again seeing it, through the kindness of
Mrs Kirk, of Rowan Bank, where it is hung in the
hall staircase.
I have heard it insinuated that the portrait is that
of \penalty-50 {Charles~II}.\quad It may be true. Not having met any
of the gentlemen, I am not in a position personally to
say which is correct. However, that is a question
that could be easily settled by any inquisitive person.
\medskip
\centerline{---{}---{}---{}---}
\bigskip
The curtains were on exhibition, and all present
showed keen interest in the historical relics.
\centreline{Kirkton Mansion House.}
It may not be amiss to give a short description of
Kirkton Mansion House, the Lodge of which was so
long the residence of the Blind Poet of the Deans.
The Lodge was erected in the year 1844, and was
demolished in 1927 by the Town Council of Bathgate~---
a new building being erected for the keeper of the
Public Park. The Mansion House stood at the east
end of Bathgate Public Park, near to the farm
steading now occupied by Mr~Young, and was of
considerable magnitude, but was not so commodious as it
looked owing to the thickness of its walls. It was
two stories in height, with partially underground
kitchen and cellars. There were several steps of stairs
to the main entrance, and it had two wings at each end
in which were several flights of stairs giving access to
the upper apartments. There was no landing places
at the top of the stairs, so that the entrance into the
rooms was sudden and abrupt.
The building was demolished by the instructions
of Captain Hart, the then proprietor, about the year
1862. Bro.\ Thomas Johnston, an old and honourable
member of this Lodge, had the contract of taking down
the mansion and removing the stones and material and
disposing of them at his pleasure.
A tablet stone which stood over the entrance had
inscribed on it the names ``Thomas Sherp and Marion
Dalm\ae hoy, 1599.'' It is conjectured that these were
the names of the then proprietor and his wife. The
tablet stone is built into the gable end of an outhouse
at Petershill Cottage, then occupied by Bro.~Johnston,
where it still remains, and can be seen by any person
passing, the gable facing the road. There is also above
the tablet the figure of a cherub which was brought
from the mansion.
There was a very beautiful fountain in the grounds
adorned with allegorical figures. This was purchased
by Edward Meldrum, of oil fame, one of the principals
of Bathgate Chemical Works, and rebuilt in his grounds
at Dechmont Castle.
\centreline{The Deans Mansion House.}
Boghall House, or the Deans Mansion House, the
seat of the Norvells, was situated at the Deans, and
when taken down the material was used for building
the present farm steading. The old mansion was somewhat
similar to the one at Kirkton, but on a much
larger scale, and consequently much more commodious
and in a better state of preservation. It is not known
how old the building was, but it dates as far back as
1726, as seen by a tombstone within the church at the
Old Churchyard. The family lineage from that date is
briefly traced down to 1860, on the death of the last of
the family~--- Mary Margaret Swindell Norvell.
\centreline{Professor Diney and the Herd Laddie.}
Let me add the following additional story about
Professor Diney, which was recently related to me by
an old Bathgate native, who is now resident in
Edin\-burgh, and was a spectator of the scene some sixty
years ago.
Dr~Kirk was making his usual daily call at Avonbridge,
and was due back. Diney was very unsettled
that day, always coming out to the door of his house,
shading his eyes and looking towards the Lower
Station. At last when the Doctor did arrive, Diney
hailed him thus~--- ``Great news the day, Doctor; great
news the day!'' ``Oh, what is the news the day,
Professor?'' the Doctor asked. Diney replied~--- ``I have
had a letter from James Wylie, the Herd Laddie, who
is going to pay a visit to our town, and he is coming to
my house. We will have to invite all the noted draughts
players in the town to meet him.''
It was a great day for both Diney and Sandy
Christie when the Herd Laddie arrived. The house
went like ``a running fair'' the whole day, all the noted
draughts players coming to have a game with the
champion, Sandy Christie ``running the cutter'' to keep
up the enthusiasm. He had not far to run, his licensed
grocer's shop being next door.
It is not recorded how much the Herd Laddie
made on the visit, but he sold a number of his books
at 3d each, giving a description of his life.
\centreline{``Raisin' the Wind.''}
Before concluding let me give you an illustration
of a Bathgate worthy's method of ``raising the wind.''
This character was addicted to ``mountain dew.'' He
was a schoolmate of Sir James Young Simpson, who,
on his visits to Bathgate, used to talk to him about his
school-fellow. ``Willie'' got a good education, and was an
excellent Latin scholar. He was well versed with the
poets, whom he quoted when appealing for aid. The
``Aleck'' referred to in the verses was Aleck Hamilton
of Kirkroads. This is how he proceeded~---
\poem{%
``Not a drum was heard!'' Oh, what will I say?\\
\quad Wad ye len' me the length o' a tipence?\\
If ever ye saved a puir mortal man's life,\\
\quad O try, man, and mak' it a thripence.\\
\stanza
Ye see hoo I'm trumlin' wi palsy and fricht;\\
\quad Man a penny's for nae use ava'~---\\
It'll only buy Finish, Coffin-Montin', or Hard,\\
\quad Or yer All-Sorts, or Speel up the Wa'.\\
\stanza
Burns is jist Burns! Though he's clever eneuch,\\
\quad Yet his poems they never can cope\\
Wi' Cawmil's Last Man, or his Brave Soldier's Dream,\\
\quad Or Lochiel, or The Pleasures o' Hope.\\
\stanza
I ne'er liket Byron, for a' his fine words,\\
\quad He's sae fu' o' Tom Payne and Voltaire,\\
And aye findin' faut wi' a' things but himsel'\\
\quad In Childe Harold, Juan, and Corsair.\\
\stanza
Hae mercy on me, for I'm likin' tae fent!\\
\quad Wad ye mak' me some gruel or tea?\\
And Aleck, oh Aleck! wad ye fin' a' yer pouch,\\
\quad And gie me anither bawbee.\\
}
\bye