OT Cows and stuff
Rufie
________________________________________________________________
> World Ideologies as Explained by Reference to Cows
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Feudalism
> You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
>
> Pure Socialism
> You have two cows. The government takes them and puts
> them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to
> take care of all the cows. The government gives you
> all the milk you need.
>
> Bureaucratic Socialism
> Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You
> have to take care of the chickens the government took
> from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as
> much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
>
> Fascism
> You have two cows. The government takes both, hires
> you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
>
> Pure Communism
> You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care
> of them, and you all share the milk.
>
> Real World Communism
> You share two cows with your neighbours. You and your
> neighbours bicker about who has the most "ability" and
> who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no
> one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
>
> Russian Communism
> You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but
> the government takes all the milk. You steal back as
> much milk as you can and sell it on the black
> market.
>
> Perestroika
> You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but
> the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much
> milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.
>
> Cambodian Communism
> You have two cows. The government takes both and
> shoots you.
>
> Militarianism
> You have two cows. The government takes both and
> drafts you.
>
> Totalitarianism
> You have two cows. The government takes them and
> denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
>
> Pure Democracy
> You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the
> milk.
>
> Representative Democracy
> You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to
> tell you who gets the milk.
>
> British Democracy
> You have two cows. You feed them sheep's' brains and
> they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
>
> American Democracy:
> You think you have two cows, but maybe you have three
> - the third one could be lost, overlooked or overseas
> with the military. You try to count them, but your
> neighbour keeps taking you to court to stop you.
> Eventually you give up. Three months later the media
> finds the missing cow and milks it for all it's worth.
>
> Bureaucracy
> You have two cows. At first the government regulates
> what you can feed them and when you can milk them.
> Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both,
> shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down
> the drain.
> Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for
> the missing cows.
>
> Pure Anarchy
> You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair
> price or your neighbours try to take the cows and kill you.
>
> Pure Capitalism
> You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
>
> Capitalism
> You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you
> money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to
> put up as collateral.
>
> Environmentalism
> You have two cows. The government bans you from
> milking or killing them.
>
> Political Correctness
> You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is
> a symbol of the phallo centric, war mongering,
> intolerant past) two differently - aged (but no less
> valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.
>
> Surrealism
> You have two giraffes. The government requires you to
> take harmonica lessons.
--
Remove nospam to email.
hot toddy
> from my niece (stop me if you have heard it already)
Didn't we have this thread before? (scratches head)
Ah well, life is a wheel. Here's one not on your list:
X-FILES-ISM: Your two cows turn out to be the government. They
milk YOU. You are saved by two generic bimbos, a female and a
male with blow-dried hair, after (1) a car chase, involving UFOs,
(2) a gunfight, and (3) a seance. The aliens get the advertising
revenue after the Nielsens rise.
Todd
swears he and Sean had a discussion about this once
Rufie
"hot toddy" <hot_t...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
> Rufie said:
>
> > from my niece (stop me if you have heard it already)
>
> Didn't we have this thread before? (scratches head)
It is very possible. It seems to be going around and I have no memory
anyhow. ( It was erased when I was abducted).
Reli
"Rufie" <Rufi...@rcn.nospam.com> wrote in message
news:Rufie710-26640B...@news.rcn.com...
> In article <Wy_o6.6142$UN5.4...@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net>,
> "hot toddy" <hot_t...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>
> > Rufie said:
> >
> > > from my niece (stop me if you have heard it already)
> >
> > Didn't we have this thread before? (scratches head)
I think so.....
>
> It is very possible. It seems to be going around and I have no memory
> anyhow. ( It was erased when I was abducted).
Did you lose 9 minutes too? Oh bleep! check out that orange X under Rufie's
chair!
~Reli
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Samurai S.M.U.Tster#715
LLL Member
Scog Noromo (and guns & stuff!)
*I*
"He *exudes* sexuality"-GA on David
MBC Agent: I don't swim in your toilet so
don't wiz in my pool.