The Greatest X-Files Moments of All Time, Part 3A
Sean Carroll
<flexes muscles> Well, let's get back into it, shall we?
I'll split Season 3 into 2 parts since there are so many of my
favourites in this season, and because All in the Family just came on
and I can't pay attention and keep doing this at the same time! (This
paragraph was written after everything below, in case you didn't
figure that out yet.)
The Blessing Way: Scully telling Skinner off in his ... what the hell
do you call that, an office lobby? 'With all due respect, sir, I think
you overestimate your position in the chain of command!'
The first appearance of the Syndicate, meeting in that building in New
York. We'd been used to thinking of CSM as 'The Bad Guy' since the end
of 'The Erlenmeyer Flask', and now suddenly we've got all these elders
and WMM and internal Conspiracy politics and evidence that CSM is not
even trusted among *them*.
Frohike showing up at Scully's apartment to mourn Mulder. 'How much
have you had to drink?' 'Do you recycle?'
The discovery of the chip in Scully's neck. She's walking through the
metal detector, all nonchalant, we think it's just a filler 'day in
the life of suspended!Scully' scene, then 'Bzzt!' there's something in
her neck. Then she has it removed and Angus Forbes shows he can do a
'freaked out' look.
WMM speaking to Scully at Bill Mulder's funeral. 'I see you're a
friend of the family. So am I. ... We predict the future. And the best
way to predict the future is to invent it. Good day, young lady.'
Scully threatening Skinner, thinking he's the one sent to kill her.
'Don't turn around or I'll blow your head off. Don't think I won't do
it, you son of a bitch.'
Paper Clip: Three-way standoff!! Yippee! 'Put it down, Scully!' 'No
way.' 'I said put it down!!' 'I said NO!!!' Then suddenly Mulder comes
flying through the door, gun drawn! 'Drop your weapon! I said --'
'Back off!!' 'Put it down!'
Scully and Mulder meeting Klemper. 'Do you know what we accomplished?'
'As a Nazi, or for the blood money we paid you?' The way Scully stares
at him before they leave ... chills up my spine.
------------begin my all-time favourite extended sequence-------------
Scully and Mulder show up at the Strughold Mining Company in West
Virginia. Possibly one of Mark Snow's 5 finest moments, with the
ominous, heavy music and the crescendo when they get inside and see
how big it is. 'What do you think your father would have been doing
here?' 'I don't know, but he never came home wearing a miner's hat.'
'I think with a crowbar and a small nuclear device we might be able to
get through one of these!' Scully stopping Mulder before they go in:
'If something in here were to cast doubt on the kind of person [your
father] was ... I just know how it would affect *me*.' Then they
dramatically focus in on Mulder's hand pulling the door open and--
--CSM comes into Skinner's office. 'I may have located the tape that
you're looking for.' 'You *may* have located it?' 'Yes, so there's a
great chance it might fall into the hands of people who might use it
for purposes not your own.' 'You want to work a deal? Is that what
this is? Let me tell you something: I don't work deals!' 'I just
thought you should know of certain potentialities.' 'Do you have the
tape?' 'As I said, I may have located it.' 'DO YOU HAVE THE DAMN
TAPE???!!!!!' 'I'll know more when we next meet.' 'I don't negotiate,
do you understand?' 'Yes, sir.' 'I don't think you do. I don't think
you understand at all.' 'No, I'm quite aware of your policies in those
regards.' CSM smiles, relaxes. 'Then I hope your next course of action
will be more ... cautious. And informed.' He takes a drag and walks
out, focus back on Skinner staring after him and--
--Mulder and Scully are inside the facility, looking at the drawers of
medical files. Then Mulder goes over and turns on the light and
FWOOSH, we see the whole massive filing system. They both stare ahead
open-mouthed. 'Lots of files.' 'Lots and LOTS of files.' They run
around a bit, finding first Scully's file and then Samantha's, and
Mulder finds his own name under Samantha's. Then the lights go back
out and Mulder runs off. Scully looks around for him a bit and then
gets her flashlight knocked out of her hand by the little beings
running past her. Meanwhile, Mulder has walked back out to the front
and sees the massive light coming in through the windows. He stands
there and stares as it goes up, up, up ... we see him from behind,
backlit, in one of the most powerful images in the series. As it fades
away, he looks up, jerks as if coming back to consciousness, runs up
the stairs and out onto the roof ... and then this gigantic craft with
a light so bright it makes him look like he's on a film negative takes
its sweet time floating over his head and across the hill, and he just
stares dumbfounded after it. Cut back to Scully, who sees the beings
disappear into the light out the back door and--
Boom! Suddenly there's a fleet of black cars driving up and a shitload
of guys with automatic weapons jumping out. Mulder comes back down in
time to see them coming, they see him, and RATATATTATATATATATATA
suddenly Mulder's running across catwalks dodging machine gun bullets!
Boomboomboomboomboom!, he runs behind a wall and you hear the spent
shells falling to the floor as the fire dies down. He tries to sneak
down the stares and Boomboomboomboomboom!, and he flattens and slips
over the railing and drops down to the floor, then hides behind a
small structure. He looks at the door, crouching like a cat, the
sounds of gunfire stop long enough for the music to go 'du-Dump Thump
du-du-du-dun', then he springs out and flies for the door and
Boomboomboomboomboom! they fire again, he slams the door shut and they
run after him ... 'Scully?' 'Mulder!' 'Scully!' They stumble through
the darkness looking for each other while the soldiers come up from
behind. 'They got a small army outside, I think they got us trapped!'
'I think there's another way out down here.' And they run out the back
door and off into the West Virginia landscape, as we fade into a
sunrise at a diner in Craiger, Maryland.
------------end my all-time favourite extended sequence---------------
Skinner sees the creepy guy in the hallway while visiting Melissa and
goes off into the stairwell after him. All of a sudden he comes back
through the door and slams it into Skinner's face, while Luis Cardinal
appears from behind and slips a wire around his neck. Pow! Smack! Bam!
Skinner tries to kick one and throw off the other, but they get him up
against the wall. Krycek comes flying down the stairs and socks him a
few times, grabs the digital tape from his pocket, and then stretches
his fist back, and back, and baaaaack, and then WAM! drops Skinner
unconscious so hard he has to shake the feeling back into his hand!
The 3 thugs scatter as quickly as they appeared and Skinner lies
crumpled in the corner ... 'Tink!' his hand drops lifelessly to the
floor.
Krycek's in the car, the other two guys are in the store, he looks
back and sees 12:00 flashing on the clock ... looks back up ... his
eyes widen, he opens the door and flies out of there and out into the
parking lot ... KABOOOOOOOOOOM!!! the car blows up so hard it knocks
him down even from that distance! He skitters off while the other guys
look upset.
Mulder and Scully go back to Klemper's, only to find WMM there. He
starts answering their questions with riddles. 'Poor Klemper. Did you
know he was able to create some of the most beautiful [orchid]
hybrids?' Mulder gets a look of realisation on his face and starts
blurting out his whole theory on the creation of an alien-human hybrid
and the stealing of genetic material from everyone. 'There were
current records on file!' 'Yes, but records of *what*, Mulder?' 'Of
abductions!!! Of abductees!' Scully stares at him and stalks off,
unable to listen to any more 'science fiction'.
Krycek calls up CSM in the middle of the group and threatens him while
CSM responds ambiguously to make it sound like a normal happy phone
call. 'I'm alive. Isn't that a surprise?' 'Yes! Well, good, good, uh,
where are you?' 'Somewhere that you will never find me, you
double-crossing son of a bitch.' 'Are you sure?' 'I'm sure of it. If I
so much as *feel* your presence, I'm gonna make you a very famous man.
You understand?' 'Yes, thank you! I'm going to report that to the
group.' Krycek slams the phone down on the hook.'
CSM comes back into Skinner's office, where Skinner tries again to
make a deal, CSM all the while thinking he has the upper hand. 'Now.
You wanted to see me?' 'I have the tape you've been looking for.' 'Oh,
really?' 'I'm prepared to hand it over, or destroy it, in exchange for
Mulder and Scully's safety. And their reinstatement here.' 'What did I
tell you, Mister Skinner? I don't negotiate. Especially with punks
like you who think they can bluff me.' 'Bluff you?' 'You haven't got
any tape. You haven't got any deal. You can't play poker if you're not
holding any cards, Mister Skinner. Ever wonder what it would be like
to die in a plane crash? Of botulism? Even a heart attack's not
uncommon for a man your age. Think *I'm* bluffing?' He turns around
and starts to leave. 'I'm not finished yet.' He turns back, shocked at
Skinner's insolence. Skinner then brings out Albert, who recites a
line from the files. 'What is this?' 'This is where you pucker up and
kiss my ass!!' 'Now listen--' 'No, YOU listen to ME, you son of a
bitch!! This mans name is Albert Hosteen. You should remember that.
Because if agents Mulder and Scully come down with so much as a case
of the flu, Albert is prepared to recite chapter and verse, file for
file, everything on your precious tape.' 'Nice try, Skinner.' 'I'm
sure you're thinking Albert is an old man, and there are plenty of
ways you might kill him, too. Which is why in the ancient oral
tradition of his people he's told 20 other men the information on
those files. So unless you kill every Navajo living in 4 states, that
information is available with a simple phone call. Welcome to the
wonderful world of high technology.' 'You're bluffing!' 'Am I?' CSM
does his best at not stuttering, dropping his cig like a hot potato,
and hastily backs out of the room, while Skinner nods back at Albert
and looks after CSM with a 'And keep your nicotine-stained ass out of
my office, you piece of shit, or I shall taunt you a second time!'
look.
Mulder and Scully are at what used to be Melissa's bedside. 'I need
something to put my back up against.' 'I feel the same way, I -- we've
both lost so much. But I believe that what we're looking for ... is in
the X-Files, and I'm more certain than ever that the truth is in
there.' 'I've heard the truth, Mulder. Now what I want are the
answers.' He reaches over and hugs her as the music does a
violin-crescendo-type 'duuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUN, duuuuUUUUUUUN,
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN-du-DUUUUUUN ...' and we fade out to 'Executive
Producer, Chris Carter'.
D.P.O.: Jack Hammond runs out to his car after a confrontation with
Oswald. He turns on his radio, only to hear 'Ring the Bells', the same
song Oswald started the jukebox playing inside, on every station. He
starts to drive off when sparks fly from his car and it stalls. He
looks up and sees the pizza flag sparking up and then, as the James
song reaches a crescendo, suddenly starts convulsing so violently that
he smashes the window; then as the song ends the 'Whooo-ooooo' chorus
part and settles into a fast-paced solo, we see his body slump over
and smoke rise from the corners of his mouth. Cut back to inside and
Oswald starts up the game they were fighting over, as the song ends
and we cut into the opening sequence.
'You saw what he did to my phone!' 'So what, are we supposed to charge
him with assaulting a cellular phone?'
'Tread looks like a standard military boot ... men's ... size 8 and a
half.' 'Eight and a half? That's pretty impressive, Scully.' 'Well, it
says it right here on the bottom.'
'I'm surprised you haven't already read that issue.' 'Oh, I have.
April is the *cruelest* month. But mine didn't come with this.'
Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose: 'What the hell is Lalapalazo?' 'Who's
Buddy Holly?'
'Sorry.' 'Don't apologise. You're a better dancer than my last date.'
'Mister, you're hurting me!' 'I know, I know. And I'm sorry. But
you're a fortune-teller ...' 'No ... please ...' '... You should have
seen this coming.' CRASH!
'They say the eyes capture the last image a murder victim sees.' 'What
do they say about the entrails?' 'Yuck.'
'I can't take you anywhere.'
'Look, all I know is, so far, Yappi has provided more solid, concrete
leads on this case than you have. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to
get an APB out, on a white male, 17 to 34, with or without a beard,
*may* be a tattoo -- who is impotent. Let's go.' 'Might as well go
home, Mulder. This case is as good as solved.'
'Mister, you really need to work on your closing technique.'
'Kinda creepy, isn't it? Stupendous Yappi said the second murder
victim has been *dumped* somewhere. Then we find it in a dumpster.'
'Ooh, I just got a chill down my spine.'
'The body was upside-down. If you didn't touch it, how did you know
the eyes had been cut out?' 'Well, they had been, hadn't they?' Scully
nods. 'Then what are you complaining about?'
'Ha! I'm supposed to believe that's a real name?'
'Did you answer my question?' 'YES, it looks like a fat little white
Nazi stormtrooper, but that only proves my point!'
'... then the son goes back in time, and changes history, so that
Columbus never sails to America ... man never lands on the Moon ...
the US never invades Grenada ...'
'Do you get any other impressions from it?' 'It's ugly. Next?'
'How are you receiving this information about the body's location?'
'How should I know?' 'I mean are you receiving it in a ... vision, or
is it a ... sensation?.' 'Look, I just know.' 'But *how* do you know?'
'I don't know!' (pause) 'You know, there are worse ways to go, but I
can't think of a more undignified one than autoerotic asphyxiation.'
'Why are you telling me that?' 'Look, forget I mentioned it. It's none
of my business.'
'Well, don't you have crime labs that analyse these things for you?'
'Yes!' Scully turns back and pointedly glares at Mulder. 'Yes, we do.'
'Mister Bruckman ... there are hits, and there are misses. And then
there are misses.'
'And as I begin to slip away towards I know not what, I wake up! Well,
goodnight!' Bruckman flicks off the light, we hear a knock, and
Mulder, disheveled, opens the door to find Scully and Havez. 'Mulder,
there's -- Are you okay?' 'Oh, yeah, I just didn't sleep well last
night.'
'Was that not enough of a tip?'
'Don't you understand yet, son? Don't you get it? You do the things
you do because you're a homicidal maniac.' 'That ... that does explain
a lot, doesn't it? Ha! It's all beginning to make sense now!'
'If my Miss Manners serves me right, that protrusion from his left
cornea is a salad fork.' 'Something tells me we're gonna get prints
off it!' 'Mulder, I found another strand of that silk.' 'Oh, we got
more than that this time, Scully. We got fingerprints, probably a
footprint even ...' 'Yeah, this is more like it. No more psychics and
their vague predictions. This case is now just about good
old-fashioned police work.' 'It's the bellhop! The bellhop at the
hotel, he's the killer!' 'Scully flies out the door. 'How the hell
does she know that?' 'Woman's intuition.'
The List: 'He was obssessed with reincarnation.' 'Being obssessed with
it doesn't mean you can do it.' 'Unless he knew something we don't.'
'Like what, the secret password?'
'Imagine if you could come back and take out 5 people who'd caused you
to suffer. Who would they be?' 'I only get 5?' 'I remembered your
birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?'
Mulder, Scully, and the warden walk in to find a headless corpse
sitting at the warden's desk. 'Guess you can finish that autopsy now,
Scully ...'
2SHY: Scully's looking for first-aid stuff for Ellen Kaminsky when
Incanto suddenly bursts out of the shower behind her. Wham! He garbs
her, smashes her head against the mirror, tries to knock her out.
THUMP! She kicks him so hard in the stomach he falls over. Finally he
gets her on the floor and is about to goo her, as she reaches for the
scissors on the floor, and BLAM! Ellen shoots him.
'When you look at me, you see a monster. But I was only feeding a
hunger.' 'You're more than a monster. You didn't just feed on their
bodies, you feed on their minds.' 'Their weakness was no greater than
mine. I gave them what they wanted. And they gave me what I needed.'
'Not anymore.' 'Il morti non sono piu soli. "The dead ... are no
longer lonely."'
The Walk: Mulder's listening to General Callahan's backward-masked
answering-machine tape. 'Find anything?' 'No, but I'm really beginning
to like the tune.'
'It's insane!' 'Sometimes the only sane response to an insane world
*is* insanity.'
Oubliette: 'You don't think I've thought about that? I have. And not
everything I do and think and say goes back to my sister. You of all
people should understand that motivations for behaviour are often more
complex than tracing them back to one childhood experience.'
'Well, if I'm her "only hope", then that little girl's in a hell of a
lot more trouble than you realise.'
Nisei: Very unsubtle teaser, harkening back to 'Duane Barry' in its
directness. A small outfit of military operatives guns down the train
car full of Japanese doctors and zips up the alien body they were
working on, which we see as Mark Snow's classic 'emphasis beat' plays.
'Mulder, this is even hokier than the one they aired on the Fox
network.'
Mulder runs after the diplomat, who kicks the gun out of his hand and
then goes to climb the fence. Then Bang! something explodes right next
to him and he stops, then we turn back to see Mulder with his
ankle-holster weapon. 'I got tired of losing my gun!'
Mulder sees Skinner coming. 'Oh, look at this. A beacon in the night.'
'I didn't get his name, I was too busy getting my ass kicked.'
'Just gotta love those German optics.' 'So you're saying that's a
German satellite?' 'No, the *optics* are German. The technology is
probably ours, but the satellite is most likely Japanese.' 'Launched
from South America.' 'Gotta love that global economy, huh?'
Mulder comes back to his apartment to find it ransacked. He pulls out
his gun and looks around and suddenly Skinner's voice comes out of the
darkness. 'Think they found what they were looking for.' 'I don't
remember giving you a key.' 'I came to see you, obviously I was late
for the party.' 'Yeah, guess I should really fire my maid, shouldn't
I?' 'Put the gun down, Mulder. Someone else might get hurt.' 'What are
you talking about?' 'Kazuo Sakurai, the diplomat that you detained
yesterday.' 'A murder suspect.' 'He didn't make his flight last night.
This morning his body was found floating face-down in the C and O
Canal. I think we can assume he wasn't diving for pearls.' Mulder
chuckles.
'Murdered by whom?' 'Possibly our government.' '*Our* government? For
what possible reason?' 'For continuing their work. The work the Nazis
were doing, trying to create an alien-human hybrid.' 'Mulder, that is
still a fantasy!' 'Scully, after all you'e seen! After all you've
*told* me you've seen -- the tunnel filled with medical files, the
beings moving past you, the implant in your neck, why do you refuse to
believe?' 'Believing's the easy part, Mulder. I just need more than
you, I need proof.' 'You think that believing is easy?'
'Mulder, don't get on the train. Mulder!' Mulder climbs over the
railing and WHEEEEE! jumps onto the moving train, barely hanging on,
while his cell phone goes flying over the side and Scully hears the
signal get cut off. Bu-du-dum, dum dum dum dum (same beat from the
teaser). To be continued ...
731: 'Why did I study French in high school?'
'Keep up the good work, Agent Pendrell.' Scully squeezes his arm. 'Uh
... thanks! Keep it up yourself!' 'She leaves. Pendrell's eyes roll
back into his head. '"Keep it up yourself" ... what a doof!'
Mulder goes back after finding Zama's body and sees the door to the
mysterious car hanging open. He pulls his gun and slowly walks in,
down to the other side, looks into the door at the end, and sees the
alien-human hybrid. Then all of a sudden the Red-Haired Man appears
out of nowhere and WAM! BAM! throws a wire around his neck, slams him
up against the door, throws him to the floor, and chokes him. Then the
conductor shows up with his empty gun, freaks out, and locks Mulder
and RHM into the bomb-wired car.
Mulder goes to type in the code that RHM has just said will probably
set the bomb off. One, one, one, one, four, seven ... his finger heads
towards the last one and then RRRRRING! Mulder and RHM both lose their
bladder control before realising it's RHM's cell phone ringing. He
answers it. 'Just a moment.' He looks at Mulder. 'It's for you.'
Mulder gives a momentary look of amused disbelief.
'You're gonna die, you know that?' 'What do you care? You were trying
to kill me anyway!'
Rrrrrrring! Scully answers her phone. 'Scully!' 'Scully, let me tell
you, you haven't seen American 'til you've seen it from a train.'
'Dammit, Mulder, what happened?!'
'We're both gonna die in here. The difference is, I'm gonna die
quickly.' Mulder points his gun at RHM. 'As an employee of the
National Security Agency, you should know that a gunshot wound to the
stomach is probably the most painful and the slowest way to die. But
I'm not a very good shot. And when I miss ... I tend to miss low.'
'Mulder, I think I have a code for you. I'm watching Zama punch it
into the keypad on one of the train cars.' 'What are you watching?'
'Your alien autopsy video.' 'You mean I might get my $29.95's worth
after all?' 'I've got six minutes left, is that what you have?' 'Let's
hope not. What's the code?'
X carries Mulder off over his shoulder while the bomb finally counts
down to zero and BOOM! it goes up in such a huge display of flames
that it looks like someone just tried to light a crack pipe in a
fireworks factory full of methane.
'Don't you see, Mulder? You're doing their work for them, you're
chasing aliens that aren't there, helping them to create a story to
cover the shameful truth. And what they can't cover, they apologise
for. Apology has become policy.' 'I, I don't need an apology for the
lies, I don't care about the fictions they create to cover their
crimes! I want them held accountable for what *did* happen. I want an
apology for the truth.'
Revelations: 'This looks like a case of too much faith.' Mulder dips
his finger in the dead preacher's 'blood' and licks it. 'And too much
sugar.' Scully, not yet aware the blood is fake, looks at him in
shock.
'Looks like Kevin was abducted by Homer Simpson's evil twin.'
'You never draw *my* bath.'
'How is it that you can go out on a limb every time you see a light in
the sky but you're unwilling to accept the possibility of a miracle?
Even when it's right in front of you?' 'I wait for a miracle every
day, but what I've seen here has only tested my patience, not my
faith.'
Rob
>
> <flexes muscles> Well, let's get back into it, shall we?
>
> I'll split Season 3 into 2 parts since there are so many of my
> favourites in this season, and because All in the Family just came on
> and I can't pay attention and keep doing this at the same time! (This
> paragraph was written after everything below, in case you didn't
> figure that out yet.)
>
Let's all hope something from 'Jose Chung's From Outer Space" is in part
B. : )
Excellent post. In addition to the title listed above, 'Nisei' and '731'
are my favorite eps from S3. The teaser from 'Nisei' is probably the
best one ever, IMO.
--
Rob
￥喊`昂,父,喊`昂喊`昂,父,喊`昂喊`昂い喊`昂ぃ