NEW Into the Black Abyss II by Lavinia Paige PG 1/3

[Katherine Fritz]

Posted by request of the author by reds...@ix.netcom.com. Please
send comments to Lavinia Paige at Lavin...@aol.com.

Title: "Into the Black Abyss II: Coming Back" (1/3)
Author: Lavinia Paige (Lavin...@aol.com)
Rating: PG
Classification: SRA
Keywords: Mulder/Scully romance
Summary: Mulder must help Scully deal with her life-threatening
disorder.

I'm back folks with part two of "Into the Black Abyss." I hope you
enjoy it. If you haven't read the first part of this story, go find
it! Otherwise, you won't really understand this one.

WARNING: Part two also deals with anorexia nervosa. Scully and
Mulder angst reaches its peak here. So if you think the dynamic duo
are made of stone, I advise you not to read this. Now, I've gotten
many comments on the first part of this story stating that Scully
would not really act this way. Believe me, I know that, folks. I am
just writing a story, and I personally don't think the
characterization has to be totally accurate for fanfic...at least, my
fanfic :). So, again, if you don't like reading about Mulder and
Scully acting mushy <oh, and at times, acting incredibly, beyond
belief mushy>, do not read the story.

Disclaimer: All characters used in this work of fiction belong to
Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and Fox. I'm just using them in a
scenario that WOULD NEVER HAPPEN on the series.

PLEASE send all comments to: Lavin...@aol.com

***I should mention that the doctor's definition of anorexia nervosa
is copied verbatim from *The New Grolier Multimedia Encyclopedia* and
was written by Herbert Weiner, M.D.

Also, some of the symptoms of anorexia nervosa I wrote of are made up.
They *could* possibly be real, but I have no medical text to back them
up.

_______________________________________________________

"Coming Back" Part 1/3

*Don't you worry, Dana. We'll get through this together--I
promise*

***

"Anorexia nervosa," the doctor pointedly explained, "is a
psychosomatic disorder characterized by self-starvation. It occurs
most commonly among adolescent females but is also observed in older
women and in men. The disorder may appear when a young woman leaves
home, or it may develop in connection with mental depression, peer
pressure to lose weight, sexual temptation, the use of psychedelic
drugs, or the discontinuance of oral contraceptives..."
Mulder listened intently to the doctor's explanation as he sat
on the hospital bed with Scully. Looking down at her, he saw her
staring blankly at their joined hands. Giving her frail hand a little
squeeze, he saw her look up at him with a far away look in her eyes.
He gave her a reassuring smile and turned his attention back to the
doctor. He wanted--no, needed--to know everything about this
terrifying disease that was killing his partner--his friend--his love.
"At the outset, the patient either stops menstruating or
simply refuses to eat. She may lose weight to the point of
life-threatening exhaustion. The patient sleeps poorly but, despite
weight loss, remains physically active and believes she is much fatter
than she actually is..."
He glanced down at her small body. She was not much bigger
than a twelve year old kid. His heart ached as a little wave of
shivers rippled through her body. He knew this was one of the
symptoms of anorexia she would face--the doctor had already
explained that. But still, reading and hearing about the disorder was
completely different than experiencing it firsthand.
"The symptoms may suggest that anorexia nervosa may sometimes
be associated with a disorder of the hypothalamus, a region of the
brain that regulated menstruation, eating, body temperature, and
sleep. About half of all anorexic patients recover permanently.
About ten percent die of self-starvation, and the rest have repeated
relapses."
The doctor looked up from his reading to the two people on the
bed, "Are there any questions?"
"No, I don't think so..." Mulder answered for them both.
"Thank you, doctor."
He nodded, closing Scully's medical folder. "We will initiate
the second sustenance IV in about an hour."
When the door had shut and they were finally alone, Mulder
shifted to put his arm around her shoulders. Her eyes were still
blank from emotion.
"You OK, Dana?" he asked, kissing the top of her head.
She finally responded with a whimper and buried her face in
his chest.
"I don't like it here, Mulder," she said with the voice of a
scared child. "It frightens me. The doctors scare me, too. And I am
sick of this IV in my arm all the time."
He stoked her hair. "I know it's hard, baby. But listen, I'm
here, and I'm not going anywhere...so don't be afraid."
"How long will I have to stay here?"
"Until you're *aaall* better." He found himself talking to
her as if she really was just a child.
"But...will I get better?" she asked, pulling away from him
and looking him straight in the eye.
He took in a quick breath. "Of course you will! Don't think
that way!"
He tried to lighten the mood she had just created. "Anyway, I
already told you I can't live without you, so you have no choice
but to get better."
A small smile graced her features, and his heart leapt with
joy. To see her smile during this trying time was truly a gift from
God.
She tucked herself back in the crook of his arm and
yawned. "I'm so sleepy..."
"Then go to sleep, Dana. I will be right here when you wake
up."
Needing no more encouragement, she closed her eyes and was
asleep within minutes.
Just as he was about to join her in a much needed rest, the
door slowly opened, and the pale face of Margaret Scully appeared from
outside the room. Maggie scanned the room, her gaze finally resting
on Fox Mulder holding her tiny daughter in his strong arms.
"Fox?" she asked, timidly walking into the room.
"Come in, Mrs. Scully." He motioned for her to enter. "You
just missed, Dana. She was awake a few minutes ago."
Maggie reached out and stroked her daughter's forearm. "My
poor baby..." Tears flooded her eyes as her lower lip trembled.
"Ohhh, Fox...I had no idea. Why didn't I see this?"
Mulder grasped her hand. "Dana made it a point to avoid both
you and me. She didn't want *anybody* to know...It's not your fault
you didn't see it."
She nodded slowly, looking directly at him. "And you know
it's not your fault either, right, Fox?"
Turning his gaze from her, he found her words searing a hole
in his heart. She was right, it wasn't his fault. Every time he
thought of this woman in his arms, though, he couldn't help to think
that he should have noticed sooner...that he could have done something
to prevent this...that he should have been more sensitive to her
feelings. So in a way, he *did* feel it was his fault.
Maggie noticed right away that he did indeed think it was his
fault.
"Fox Mulder," she said sternly, "don't you dare go blaming
yourself! I know that's what you're thinking right now. Dana doesn't
need you to do this to yourself. She needs your complete
attention--to focus on the situation at hand--and nothing more."
He nodded, silently thanking her for trying to diminish his
doubtful thoughts.
Sitting on the other side of the bed, Maggie took her
daughter's hand.
*I never thought this could happen to my baby girl.
Anorexia...such a horrible word...she shouldn't have to face this*
"What is her condition right now?"
Mulder swallowed hard. "Not good, Mrs. Scully. The, um,
doctors can't determine if she will recover yet. They are constantly
giving her liquids, and every two hours they give her food nutrients
through her IV. Since we got here late last night, the doctors have
administered every type of test, and it is definitely a severe case of
anorexia nervosa--"
She stopped him. "But how is she doing emotionally, Fox?"
"That I can't really figure out. She is here in body when the
doctors talk to us about the anorexia, but I don't know if she is
listening. She has regressed to talking like child, Mrs. Scully. It
is probably some type of adjustment mechanism...she doesn't like this
environment at all. She is scared to be left alone for two
minutes--that is definitely not her normal behavior."
Before he could continue, Scully began to restlessly shift in
the bed. Her eyes blinked open, momentarily confused.
"Dana, honey?" Maggie whispered, pushing the hair away from
her forehead.
"Mom..." she rasped, still not fully conscious.
"Yes, baby, it's me. How are you feeling?"
Her lower lip trembled, and a fresh batch of tears formed in
her eyes. "Not so good...I'm so sorry, Mom..."
Mulder extracted himself from his partner as gently as he
could as Mrs. Scully drew her into a loving mother-to-child embrace.
"Shhhh," she rocked her limp body, "it's OK, sweety, I'm
hear..."
Mulder watched as Mrs. Scully soothed her only living
daughter. He felt tears prickle his eyes at the affection the woman
expressed. She was full of so much love. It was not just love for
Dana, but a love for him, too. She gave him the compassion and caring
that he never received from his own mother. And now, he knew that
love would help save Dana.
At that moment, Dr. Roberts knocked and opened the door
simultaneously.
"Mr. Mulder, could I speak to you for a minute?"
Mulder nodded and turned towards the two women.
"Um...I'll be back in a few minutes."
Maggie nodded as he turned to leave the room.
Doctor Eugene Roberts, Scully's regular doctor since her
abduction, stood outside of the room.
"Mr. Mulder, I feel I should talk to you away from Dana."
"All right, doctor...what is this about?"
Roberts motioned to two chairs across the hall. Sitting down,
Mulder noticed the obvious apprehension in the doctor's face. He
seemed really worried and had trouble looking Mulder in the eye.
"Mr. Mulder, I feel I must let you know some things about this
condition--things Dana should not hear."
Mulder nodded, eager for him to continue.
"Anorexia nervosa is in itself a physical problem... However,
it is classified as a mental disorder. Even today, we don't truly
understand what goes on in the heads of the inflicted. We do know
that the patient's mind will tell her to not eat, and she can do
nothing to change her mind. When she looks into the mirror, she will
see herself as fat, when in reality she does not have an ounce of fat
on her. Eventually, the patient will become so skinny, her face,
arms, and legs will begin to swell. This adds to the psychosis even
more. Thankfully, we have gotten to Dana before this occurred..."
"Now, as you know, Dana has been given food through an IV.
However, in the next few days, we have to start feeding her *real*
food. The food we give her at first will not be anything you and I
would care to eat; it will basically be like baby food--strained and
soft, something that will go down the esophagus with ease..."
Roberts paused and allowed Mulder to absorb all the
information.
"Doctor," he spoke just as the doctor was going to continue.
"Why are you telling me this information in Scully's absence? I mean,
it doesn't seem like anything we haven't already heard."
"On the contrary, Mr. Mulder, it is quite different from what
you were both told. You have to understand that Dana will not be
cooperative in our endeavors to give her actual food. Right now, the
IV is giving her nourishment, but her mind isn't registering that she
is being fed. When we attempt to feed her orally, she will definitely
put up a fight."
Mulder's brow furrowed. "It seems to me that she would take
the food in an effort to get better."
Dr. Roberts shook his head. "She no longer has the will to do
that. The disease has so warped her thinking, she cannot make *right*
decisions anymore. Someone will have to make those decisions for
her--mainly, the nurses and myself."
Mulder remained silent for a few moments. He felt a dull ache
in the pit of his stomach.
*Dana no longer has the will to get better? How can that be?
She was always so strong--this can't be happening to her*
*But you know that this Dana Scully is not the same. She is
different. She cries at the bat of an eye, she talks like a child,
she needs to be held, she is scared to be alone...the list goes on and
on*
*I don't know this Dana Scully...*
Suddenly, he became aware that the doctor was trying to get
his attention.
"Mr. Mulder?" he asked for the third time.
His head snapped up. "Yes...sorry...uh, what is it?"
"I was just saying that is all I needed to say right now.
You're free to go back in."
He stood up, his mind in a haze. "Yes, thank you, doctor."
As he approached the door to her room, he felt something he
had never felt before.
He suddenly realized he was genuinely terrified of her. She
was not his Scully--she was an aberration, an abomination of what she
used to be. She has no will to exist, no will to listen, and no will
to love...
*No, not your Scully*
And it scared the hell out of him.

End part (1/3)