"X-Trek," another lame new crossover story
Steven Han
The following dumb story is ample proof of just how boring the off-season
has been, and how I have to resort to writing stupid stories just to get
my fix of the X-files.
This story is a crossover between the X-Files and Star Trek. It uses
characters from the X-Files, a Ten-Thirteen production, and Star Trek,
a Paramount production. No copyright infringement is intended.
And folks, don't worry - it's got no sex in it. And it's fairly short, too.
Here follows "X-Trek", by Steven Han, 9/9/1994
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Captain's Log, Stardate 48109.1
The Enterprise is headed towards Starbase Deep Space Nine. The station has
reported three mysterious deaths in the past week, and has requested that
Starfleet look into the incidents. As a result, we carry onboard two
officers from Starfleet's criminal investigations division, Lieutenant
Commander Fox Mulder and Lieutenant Dana Scully.
* * *
"Captain, we're approaching the Bajoran system," announced Data. "We should
arrive at DS9 within twenty minutes."
"Very well, Mr. Data. Mr. Worf, would you please call up our two
friends to the bridge? I'd like to talk to them before we reach the
station. Send them into my ready room." And with that, he got up,
tugged on his jersey, and stepped into his office.
A couple of minutes later, a tall male officer and a petite female
officer, both sporting blue science uniforms, walked out of the turbolift.
Walking down the incline flanking the bridge area, Cdr. Mulder greeted
the bridge crew. "Mr. Worf, Mr. Data, Commander Riker."
Riker got up, and upon seeing Scully, he sucked in his gut and smiled,
acknowledging them. "Lieutenant Scully, Commander Mulder."
Mulder and Scully approached and signaled outside the ready room door, then
heard the captain's voice. "Come," he said. They entered, and were
invited to sit down while the captain worked the food dispenser. "Would
the two of you like anything?" he asked.
"Root beer, please," said Lt. Scully.
"Iced Tea for me, thank you," said Cdr. Mulder.
Captain Picard paused at their eclectic taste in beverages, then turned
and spoke to the computer. "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And one iced tea.
And one root beer."
"In a frosted mug, if you don't mind," said Scully.
"And make mine with *two* wedges of lemon, please," motioned Mulder.
Shaking his head, Picard turned back to the dispenser and declared,
"Computer, correction. Make it one root beer in a frosted mug, and one
iced tea with two lemon wedges."
The computer complained in a female voice. "Unable to comply. A frosted
mug will compromise room temperature integrity safety limits."
Picard grew annoyed and barked out, "Damn the room temperature integrity -
override, Picard, Jean-Luc, code alpha sigma delta."
The computer obligingly produced the three drinks, and Picard handed the
two cold beverages to his guests. He then took his teacup and saucer
and sat down behind his desk.
Settling into his chair, Picard began inquisitively. "Now, Cdr. Mulder,
Lt., Scully, I was wondering what exactly Starfleet is expecting to find
at the station, and why they sent the two of you to investigate. I can
understand why Lt. Scully, a forensics expert, is involved, but I find
it most peculiar that they also chose to send you, Cdr. Mulder, a criminal
psychologist specializing in the paranormal. Would you care to share with
me why Starfleet thought your skills would be needed?"
Cdr. Mulder smiled as he relaxed in his chair. "Well captain, I doubt
you'd believe me if I told you why I'm here. Even Lt. Scully here has
her doubts about my theory."
The captain grew more interested, wondering what secrets this officer
might be hiding. "You have a theory, Mr. Mulder? I'd be curious to hear
about it."
Mulder thought for a moment, then began to speak, if a bit hesitantly.
"Well, captain, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you. But I must have
your full assurance that this information will not leave the room."
Seeing Picard nodding gently, Mulder continued. "You see, Captain, the
results of the preliminary autopsies conducted by Dr. Bashir at DS9
indicated that the victims all died exactly the same way. They were all
human, and they all had their livers torn out without the use of any tools
or weapons. Someone literally stuck their hands into the victims' abdomens
and pulled out their livers as if grabbing an apple out of a shopping bag."
Lt. Scully added, "We're speculating that it might be one of the many alien
visitors on DS9 that has a taste for human livers. We have reports that
a Reticulan ship had recently docked there. The crew of that ship is
being detained, and all other personnel and visitors have also been
quarantined on the station."
Cdr. Mulder glanced over at his partner, then continued. "But we also
have another theory, captain. We have files back in our office going
back nearly five hundred years that tell of similar incidents occurring
in the past."
Scully cut him off. "But Mulder, that's just speculation. I hardly
think..."
Captain Picard motioned with his hand, saying, "Now please, I'd like to
hear Cdr. Mulder's theory."
Turning his attention back to the captain, Mulder continued. "We have
detected a regular pattern of similar murders committed over the past
five hundred years. In each case, the modus operandi is the same. The
victims' livers are torn out without the use of any blades or surgical
equipment. And perhaps the most interesting part is, the murders always
occur in groups of five. And the sets of five killings are always thirty
years apart."
Picard's interest was piqued. "And let me guess. The last set of murders
occurred thirty years ago?"
"To this very week, captain."
Lt. Scully shook her head and rolled her eyes. "But captain, do recognize
that this is just a theory, nothing more. Criminal recordkeeping has
been somewhat shoddy in the past, especially in the period following the
third earth war. We are not certain that the pattern is all that regular."
"But regular enough that it merits serious consideration," countered
Mulder. "And if the pattern is indeed repeating itself, three of the
expected five killings have already occurred. We should expect to see
two more killings very soon."
Commander Riker's voice came over the intercom. "Captain, we're nearing
DS9."
"Very well, Mr. Riker, slow to impulse" said the Captain, talking up into
the ceiling.
Getting up and nodding toward his guests, he said, "Well, Cdr. Mulder,
Lt. Scully, I hope this investigation is successful. You shall have the
full resources of both the Enterprise and the station at your disposal."
"Thank you captain. We greatly appreciate your cooperation," said Mulder,
getting up.
Stepping out of the ready room, Captain Picard voiced out to Commander
Riker. "What is our position, number one?"
"We're just coming within visual range now, captain," said Riker.
"Captain, I recommend we go to red alert, and lock all weapons," declared
Worf.
"Mr. Worf, this is our *own* station," said Picard, annoyed at the eager
Lieutenant.
"But Captain, we must destroy this assassin by all means necessary. The
security of the Federation could be at stake! I recommend we fire all
phasers and photon torpedoes," growled the Klingon.
"I'll take that under advisement, Mr. Worf. Now stand down all weapons."
Worf complied begrudgingly, muttering something in Klingon under his breath
about cowardly officers.
Mulder and Scully stepped out of the Ready room and walked up behind Lt.
Worf, gazing at DS9 coming into view on the monitor.
"It sure is beautiful, isn't it, Mr. Worf?" remarked Scully, admiring the
approaching gyroscope-shaped base.
"A foul abomination of a space station," growled Worf. "Typical of
cowardly and inefficient Cardassian designs. A true warrior race would
never build such a worthlessly docile object."
Surprised, Scully turned away from Worf and walked down to Commander Data's
station. She was fascinated by the speedy movements of his android
fingers, which were expertly navigating their way around the touchscreen
console. She had heard about Dr. Soong's work, but had never actually
met the android himself.
"So, Mr. Data, I've heard so much about you. Is it really true that you
seek to become more human?"
Turning towards Scully, Data spoke. "Why yes, lieutenant. It is my
desire that someday I shall be able to comfortably understand and express
the full range of human emotions - laughter, sadness, joy, anger, just
like a normal human."
"Well, then you'll certainly be more normal than some people I know,"
she said, glancing back at Mulder behind her. He was playing with the
controls on Worf's console, and the Lieutenant was visibly irritated.
The red-haired young ensign sitting at the Conn station, who looked
remarkably like a member of a late twentieth-century female singing trio,
informed the captain of their arrival. "We're at DS9 now, captain."
"Very well, Ensign Wilson. Commence docking procedures."
* * *
Exiting the airlock, Mulder and Scully were greeted by an exceptionally
grim-faced commander and his officers. "Greetings. I'm commander
Benjamin Sisko, commanding officer of DS9. This is Major Kira Neurys,
my executive officer. And this is Lt. Dax, science officer, Lt. Bashir,
medical officer, Constable Odo, security officer, and Chief O'Brien, head
of operations."
"Thank you. I'm Lt. Commander Fox Mulder, and this is Lt. Dana Scully.
We're with the FBI - Federation Bureau of Investigation."
"Thank you, Cdr. Mulder, Lt. Scully. Now I shall leave you to Major
Kira, who'll be heading up our end of the investigation. Lt. Bashir and
Mr. Odo will be assisting you as necessary. Dax, O'Brien you're with me."
And with that, he turned and left the entrance area. Dax and O'Brien
smiled briefly at the investigating pair, then turned to follow Sisko.
"Gee, is he always this cheerful?" asked Mulder, looking at the departing
commander.
"Hey, you should see him when he's really in a foul mood," remarked Kira.
"Now don't repeat this, but rumor is, the reason he's so stern is that he
hasn't gotten any in the whole time he's been here," whispered Bashir.
"That's quite enough," scowled Odo. "Now let's get back to business.
Mr. Mulder, you said in your communication that you expect these deaths
to continue?"
"Yes, Mr. Odo, I do. Can you provide me with a roster of all DS9
personnel and visitors?" asked Mulder.
"Certainly. Major Kira and I will take you to the security office,"
replied Odo.
"And Lt. Bashir, I'd like to take a look at the bodies, if you can,"
said Scully.
"No problem. Let's go to the medical lab."
* * *
"The Reticulans all have solid alibis, Commander," said Odo. "They were
all seen on the promenade when the murders occurred. None of them could
have done it."
Disappointed but not deterred, Mulder paged through the passenger
manifests of the various ships docked at the station. He cursed at the
Cardiassian engineers who designed the darned computer displays, wondering
if they had a thing for stained glass windows.
Suddenly, he noticed that one of the ships, the 'Victory', had arrived
four days ago straight from Earth, shortly before the murders had begun.
He pulled up the ship's manifest. "Do you know anything about these
passengers, Major Kira?"
Kira placed her hands on her hips and spoke. "That ship carries a team of
respected diplomats, and they were all attending a conference on
interstellar communications here on the station when the deaths occurred.
I seriously doubt any of them could have committed the murders, commander."
Undaunted, Mulder asked, "What about the crew? were their whereabouts
known?"
Odo replied. "Definitely. Our security sensors placed them aboard their
vessel at the time of the murders."
Seeing that this avenue was leading nowhere, Mulder asked, "Well, are
there any other ships docked here that originated from Earth, then made a
stop somewhere else? Or perhaps a ship with a different origin, but which
stopped off at earth?"
Odo scanned the manifests intently, then spoke in a disappointing tone.
"I'm not sure why you're focusing only on the earth connection, commander,
but in any case, the 'Victory' is the only ship that visited Earth
before coming here. And all of her crew and passengers have alibis."
* * *
Scully donned the gloves as Bashir slid out the bodies from cold
storage. She noticed the open wounds on the abdomens of each of the
bodies, all in the same area. She motioned to Bashir to place one of the
bodies on the operating table in preparation for an autopsy.
Passing the medical scanner over the victim's abdomen, Scully noted that
the wound was created with a blunt instrument, creating an irregular
tare in the flesh. Cutting open the abdomen with a laser scalpel, Scully
further noticed that the various organs had been rudely pushed out of
the way, parts of them crushed, all in an apparent effort to retrieve
the liver.
Stepping back from the body and removing her mask, Scully mulled over
the physical evidence. The victims, one female and two male, ages 21 to
45, seemed to have nothing in common. About the only common link was that
they were all human, and all in good health.
Scully ran through some theories in her mind. Were the assailants
black-market organ dealers? It seemed unlikely, since they did such a
crude job of organ removal. Or perhaps it was a ritual murder, an act of
revenge perhaps. But what culture practiced murder through the removal of
livers? None that she could recall. She sighed and decide to examine
the victims' backgrounds.
* * *
Mulder sat on the barstool as a short Ferengi bartender came over, wiping
a glass with a towel. "What'll you have?" he asked.
"How about a clue? I sure could use one right about now," lamented Mulder,
hunching over on the bar.
Quark groaned, throwing his hand up in the air. "Geez, I gotta listen
to yet another of these starfleet saps whining in my bar? I'd rather
have more Cardassian customers - at least they don't waste my time like
so many crybabies. Here, try this," he said, pouring into a small
octagonal shaped glass from a bottle full of green liquid.
With that, Quark left his post behind the bar. Mulder's gaze followed him
as he headed towards a table and began flirting with a group of gaudily
dressed alien females. Turning back towards his drink, Mulder was
surprised to feel the presence of a female creeping up next to him.
Turning to face the woman, Mulder saw that she was a Bajoran female, blond
with day-glow skin, somewhere in her thirties. And somehow, she looked
rather familiar, like someone he had met before... "May I help you?"
he asked.
The woman sat down on the barstool next to Mulder and dragged the seat
closer to him. Smiling at him and winking an eye, she spoke. "I understand
you're at a dead end, so to speak, Mr. Mulder," she purred.
Surprised and flattered by the advancing woman, Mulder responded, "Well,
er, miss, perhaps that's the case. But who am I speaking to here, and how
do you know my name?"
Batting her eyelashes and pulling herself closer, she said, "Well, Mr.
Mulder, my name is Kira Julian. I'm Kira Neurys' cousin. I was visiting
her here on the station when I got stuck because of the quarantine. And
why, when she told me that a handsome young starfleet officer had dropped
in, I naturally had to come by and take a look. And I must say, Neurys'
description didn't do you justice, Mr. Mulder," she said with a seductive
grinn.
Mulder smiled, as a trace of a blush flashed across his face. "Well,
thank you, Ms. Kira. Um, you said you had some information?"
Kira scooted her stool up even closer, rubbing her hips against Mulder's.
But just then, Quark returned to the bar to grab some drinks. He noticed
Kira making her moves on Mulder and joked, "I'd watch out for her,
Commander - she's even wilder than her cousin."
"Why Quark, I'm surprised at you," said Kira, feigning offense. "I don't
know why you'd want to mislead Mr. Mulder so - why, after all, restraint
is practically my middle name," she said, leaning her shoulder into
Mulder's. Looking into his eyes, she whispered, "Mr. Mulder, I suggest we
go somewhere more discreet, away from these prying eyes." Briefly glancing
back at a leering Quark, she added, "are you hungry, by any chance? the
Klingon restaurant comes highly recommended. It'll be my treat."
Some moments later, Mulder and Kira Julian walked up to the front of the
Klingon restaraunt, where the fat proprietor was stirring a kettle in
the back. "Make it spicy, Rosie," joked Kira. The Klingon turned around,
grunting in acknowledgement. He stepped up to the counter and took their
orders.
Mulder and Kira soon sat down at a quiet table with plates piled high with
delicious wriggling creatures. Kira grabbed a handful of brown worms and
stuffed them into her mouth, saying "Mmmm... de-wicious stuff, Ma-daw."
Mulder turned pale as he looked down at the slowly shifting multicolored
pile sitting on his plate. He had never had Klingon food before, and he
was starting to have second thoughts. "Um, thanks for the food, Kira, but
I guess I'm really not that hungry after all. I think I'll just have a
snack," he said, pulling out a bag of synthetic sunflower seeds.
"Suit yourself," said Kira, as she grabbed a twitching triangular black
creature, then used it to pick up a clump of red maggots. Chomping on the
combination, she continued. "Well, Mr. Mulder, have you heard the rumor
about the mystery killer?" she asked, playing footsie under the table with
Mulder's leg. She removed one of her shoes with her feet and began feeling
out Mulder's leg with her toes.
Mulder's attention turned away from the food and focused on Kira. "What
rumor?"
Dabbing the red maggot juice from her lips with a napkin, Kira continued.
"Well, people say they found bits of liver lying around the station, next
to drops of saliva. They say that the killer apparently ate the livers
raw."
A spark seemed to go off in Mulder's head, as he sat up and looked away,
as if pondering something. Kira noticed his reaction and observed him
with curiosity. "Everything okay?" she asked.
"Um, why, yes. Please, do go on," said Mulder, settling back down in his
chair.
Kira shrugged off Mulder's strangeness, then reached for a slithering
foot-long green worm that was trying to crawl off her plate. She grabbed
it by its tail and raised it up to her face, watching it wriggle around in
the air just in front of her mouth. She spoke, "Well, Mulder, when I talked
to the navigator of the earth diplomat ship, the 'Victory', he told me
about a legend, the legend of the liver-eating mutant. He claimed that a
being existed on earth that received its sustenance off of human livers.
Of course, that sounds like a crock to me. After all, eating raw livers -
who'd do such a thing? I mean - it's so gross," she said, as she slurped
down the worm like a strand of spaghetti.
* * *
"So what have you got so far, Scully?" asked Mulder as he entered the
medical lab.
Turning in her chair to face Mulder, Scully gave him a disappointed look.
"Nothing much, Mulder. I can find no connections between the victims,
either medical or personal. I just don't get it," she said, leaning
forward on her table and rubbing her eyes.
Mulder sat on the edge of the table and crossed his arms, gazing at the
bodies lying on the examination table behind Scully. "I've gone through
the station personnel logs and ship passenger lists myself, Scully. No
wanted criminals onboard the station - or even anyone with a criminal
record, for that matter."
Mulder turned back around towards Scully and continued. "And the strangest
thing about it is, all of the victims were in their quarters when they were
attacked - secure quarters, Scully. And there were no signs of forced
entry. It just doesn't make any sense."
Scully stopped rubbing her eyes and looked back up at Mulder, blinking.
"What, no forced entry? What about transporters?"
"Nope, Scully, security scans recorded no transporter signals near the
time of the attacks."
"But the assailant must have found *some* way to enter the victims'
quarters. Mulder, are the crime scenes still cordoned off?"
"Yes, I believe so. You want to go take a look?"
* * *
Mulder bent down on one knee, examining the blood stains on the carpet.
Scully also bent over the dark spot, working her tricorder. Odo stood
above them, crossing his arms and shaking his head. "Hmmpf. As I've told
you before, agents, we've already been over this crime scene. We've found
nothing of any importance here. And before you ask, yes, all of that
blood came from the victim and no one else."
Looking up at the constable, Mulder wanted to be annoyed, but couldn't
help but be impressed with his thoroughness. He got up and looked around
the room, searching for any other possible entrance. He turned back
to Odo and asked, "So Constable, what's your theory on how the assailant
gained entry?"
"Well, we have several working theories, but the most likely one is that the
assailant knew all of the victims and thus was allowed into their rooms."
"But we haven't established any such links between the three victims,
have we, Constable?" asked Scully.
"Lieutenant, there are hundreds of people on this station, and most of
them know each other. The three victims probably had many friends in
common."
Disappointed by Odo's remark, Mulder returned to his visual inspection
of the surroundings. There appeared to be no other obvious means of entry
aside from the front door, except perhaps for... the air vents?
"Constable, what about those vents? are they networked throughout the
station?" asked Mulder, pointing to the small rectangular grille near
the ceiling.
"Why yes, but no one could possibly fit in those corridors..."
"Unless it was a shapeshifter," interrupted Mulder.
Odo glared at Mulder with an offended look, or about as offended a look as
his face was capable of forming. Scully's brows narrowed and she scowled,
"Mulder!"
Mulder quickly realized what he had said and tried to apologize. "Oh,
I'm sorry, Constable. Of course, I'm not accusing you. I'm just wondering
whether there might be another shapeshifter onboard."
Odo said sternly, "Hmmpf. Not to my knowledge, commander. And
shapeshifters are very rare, particularly in this section of the galaxy."
"I'm aware of that, Constable, but I'm wondering, if... if..."
"If what?" asked Scully impatiently.
"Well, I'm just wondering if the shapeshifter, if that's what he really is,
might have arrived here recently on one of the ships."
Odo lectured Mulder, "Commander, I've already checked and re-checked the
crew lists and passenger manifests of all the ships docked at this station.
And you can trust me when I say that they are all well documented; none of
them are shapeshifters. And shapeshifters are not known for keeping their
abilities a secret."
Mulder sat down on the carpet, rubbing his chin. "But even if that were
the case, there's still the possibility that a shapeshifter could have
stowed away onboard a ship, perhaps masquerading as cargo, or perhaps
hiding in a hidden compartment..."
Scully shook her head testily. "No, Mulder, you're just speculating here.
You have no hard facts upon which to base this line of inquiry."
Mulder snapped back at her, saying, "Well, do you have any other bright
explanations?"
Scully sighed, calming herself. "Well, no, Mulder, not right at the
moment. I will of course keep your theory in mind, but for now, I think
we should try to find some solid leads first before jumping to conclusions."
Mulder thought for a minute, then got up and turned towards the door.
Leaving the room, he said, "I'm going to return to the Enterprise and
discuss some matters with the crew. You can join me there if you want,
but for now, you keep looking for your magical piece of evidence, okay,
Scully?"
* * *
"Yes, it is possible, at least in theory," replied Data. "There are some
races that are capable of shapeshifting. But their numbers are rare, and
not many have been seen in this part of the galaxy."
"But if there was one here, on this station, could we spot it?" asked
Mulder.
"Well," jumped in LaForge. "I suppose if we realigned the main
navigational sensor array, and re-tuned the secondary emitters to
generate a broad-band tachyon wave, we could possibly scan for the mix
of organic-inorganic matter that would be present in a shapeshifter."
"But Geordi," interrupted Data. "The station's continuously variable
lambda radiation signature would interfere with the tachyon scan. We
would have to adjust the pulse at the quantum level to avoid any
cross-modulation canceling out the scanning beams."
"Yes, you're right, Data. We'll have to divert power from the secondary
planetary array through the auxiliary power grids to set up a matching
muon feedback loop to compensate for the lambda distortion. But then, how
would we deal with the instability caused by the interaction between the
muon waves and the tachyon waves, which could generate a fifth-order
harmonic misconvergence in the beam governing circuitry?"
"Well, Geordi, we could shunt the output of the beam inducers through
the secondary communications array, thereby coupling the output of the
inducers to the e-band beam regulators, which will assure that any such
misconvergence will be out of phase with the main beam and as a result
not affect the results."
"But Data, what if the phase inducers overload on the output of the
communications array, and dump the excess power back into the primary
weapons grid? the whole ship could explode, and take the station with it!"
"Well, Geordi, in that case, we can reconfigure the power pathways to
channel the excess power to the ship's sanitary systems."
"Brilliant, Data! brilliant! those toilets are always running all night
anyway; no one will care if they run a little louder. Now why didn't I
think of that myself?"
Data turned confidently to Mulder and proclaimed, "Yes, commander, we
can perform the scan. We can make the necessary modifications in about
two hours, after which the scan can commence."
* * *
Mulder and Scully peered over Data's shoulder as Data and Geordi
manipulated the controls in the science stations on the back of the bridge.
They pressed a myriad of buttons, working to get the scanning beam in focus.
The buttons made an exceedingly annoying beeping sound every time they
were pressed, driving Scully to distraction. But soon, the scanner
display lit up with a multicolored display of the biological life forms
moving about the station.
"Well Data, do you see it?" asked Scully.
"Unfortunately, lieutenant, I'm only registering the constable as the sole
shapeshifter aboard the station. No one else is exhibiting the type of
chemical makeup you would find in a shapeshifter."
Mulder pulled out a handful of sunflower seeds and started to speak, when
one of the seeds fell on Data's console. "Oops, excuse me Data," he said
apologetically, as he reached down to pick up the errant shell.
In the process, however, he inadvertently pressed a key that caused the
scanner to change modes. Suddenly, Data peered closer at the screen,
opening his mouth in wonder. "Fascinating - Commander, you might have
just solved our mystery."
Startled, Mulder drew back, saying, "Huh? What'd I do? I didn't touch
anything!"
"No, Commander, look. You accidentally switched the scan mode from the
wide-band active lepton mode to the phased narrow-band passive neutrino
mode. And in the process, we've located an inordinately high concentration
of iron and bile on the station. It could be where the livers are located."
"Um, oh yeah - okay, I meant to do that," said Mulder, grinning. Scully
glanced at him in disbelief, then asked Data, "Commander, can you isolate
the source of the readings?"
"It appears to be emanating from the promenade, more specifically from
inside one of Quark's holosuites."
Mulder and Scully quickly glanced at each other, then darted towards the
turbolifts. "Thank you, commander Data, LaForge," said Mulder, as the
lift doors closed behind them.
"Uh oh, Data," remarked Geordi suddenly from the next station. "The phase
inducers are starting to overload, just as we feared. We'll have to dump
the excess power into the sanitation systems!"
"I've got it, Geordi. Commencing power dump into sanitation systems now,"
responded Data.
"Whew, that was close," remarked Geordi.
Suddenly, Worf growled at his station behind them. "Captain, there's been
a security alert. Apparently, yeowman Dennison has been sucked into a
toilet."
* * *
"This should be the one," noted Mulder, as he and Scully prepared to open
the door to the holosuite, accompanied by Odo and several of his security
forces.
As Odo overrode the security lock, the sliding doors parted silently in
front of the band. What they saw inside generated a wave of revulsion
throughout the group.
The inside of the holosuite was dark and forbidding. In the middle of the
room was a small cocoon-like structure built from old papers, apparently
glued together with some sort of slimy adhesive. The floor surrounding the
structure was dirty and wet, and the air was thick with the smell of bile.
"Some type of organic secretions," said Scully, as she reached down and
inspected the adhesive holding the paper structure together.
Mulder raised his Glock 257 phaser and looked around the holosuite for
the assailant, but the killer was nowhere to be found. He knelt down
to the paper structure next to Scully and bent back a portion of it with
his hands.
Suddenly, Mulder noticed his hands were covered with slimy bile. He said
smoothly, "Now Scully, how do I remove this stuff from my hands without
compromising my cool exterior?"
Scully rolled her eyes and spoke up into the ceiling. "Computer, end
program," she declared, and the gloomy interior turned back into a barren
room with orange lines covering the interior. The paper structure remained,
however, along with the foul stench and the slime on Mulder's hands.
Alarmed that his hand was still covered in goo, Mulder jumped up and
down, shaking his hand and yelling, "Yeeewww!! get it off me! get it off
me!" He turned and rubbed his hand on a security man's uniform. "Sorry
'bout that fellow - just pulling rank on ya."
Turning around and collecting himself, he said to Odo, "Constable, we need
to know who the last person was that used this holosuite."
"We'll find out soon enough," said Odo, as he instructed his men to
question the people outside. Following his orders, the security men
exited through the doors and into the crowd that had gathered outside
the holosuite. One of the inquisitive spectators standing in the back
of the crowd was a short, slightly built man with dark hair. His
maintenance uniform displayed the name patch "Tooms."
* * *
Tired from a long day of investigating, Scully looked forward to a nice
long bath in her DS9 quarters. She turned on the hydrotub, then turned
towards the mirror to undress.
Unfortunately for the male audience, however, before Scully could disrobe
fully, she suddenly felt a presence creeping up behind her. Looking up
from her pants zipper towards the mirror, she was shocked to find the image
of a slightly built man with glowing eyes drooling right behind her.
Instantly, she turned around and reached behind her back for her Walther
disruptor, but then realized she had left it in the other room. She tried
to bolt and make a run for it, but Eugene Tooms grabbed her legs and
dropped her to the floor.
Struggling to kick the assailant off of her, Scully reached towards her
jersey that she had removed and dropped on the floor just moments ago.
Tooms was pulling furiously on her legs, however, drawing her away from the
garment. Determined, Scully pulled out one leg from Eugene's grip, and
slammed her heel into his face.
The move stunned him just long enough for Scully to reach her jersey and
tap her communicator pin. "Mulder!" she cried out at the top of her lungs.
"We're sorry, all circuits are busy. Please try your call again later,"
said the soft voice of the computer operator. Incensed, Scully slammed her
fist down on the pin, just as Eugene reined in her free leg.
Fortunately, in one of those remarkable coincidences seen only on TV,
Mulder just happened to be walking by Scully's quarters at the time, and
overheard the struggle. He dashed into her quarters, and upon finding her
locked in combat, jumped on the assailant. He pulled Tooms off of
Scully's back, marvelling at the small man's exceptional strength.
Scully quickly got up and gathered herself, then reached for Tooms' arm.
But Tooms grabbed her shoulder and flung her against the wall, nearly
knocking her out.
Quickly gathering her senses, Scully turned around and saw Mulder
struggling with the red-eyed mutant. Looking around the bathroom, she
grabbed the hydro-toilet plunger and whacked Tooms upside the head.
The blow shook him momentarily, just long enough for Mulder to grab a
can of Comet bathroom cleaner(tm) and throw the stinging powder in Tooms'
face. As he bowled over and rubbed his eyes in pain, Scully grabbed his
wrist and cuffed him to a post.
* * *
Epilogue
"So you're saying that this man eats human livers and then hibernates
for thirty years?" asked Kira Neurys incredulously. She was seated at a
table at Quark's, along with the rest of the investigative team.
"That's correct, major," replied Mulder, popping another sunflower seed.
"Two more livers and he would have disappeared again for another thirty
years."
"Hmmpf. That would have been most unfortunate," added Odo.
"But at least we've caught him," noted Bashir. "And I do so dearly look
forward to examining this most wonderfully peculiar fellow. He could
provide some spectacularly marvelously fantastically delightful insights
into eccentric human physiology."
"I'd be most interested in joining in that inspection, Doctor," added
Scully.
"Wonderful, delightful," smiled Bashir.
"Well, I think we can all rest easier now that this crime has been
solved," said Mulder. "I'd like to thank each and every one of you for
your cooperation. And in particular, ..."
Mulder's speech was cut short, however, as Kira Julian suddenly appeared
and walked up behind Mulder, squeezing his shoulders. "I'm sorry, folks,
but Mr. Mulder and I have a prior engagement," she declared. Grinning, she
added, "I'm going to show him my new personal holosuite program, entitled
'Squidgey David Fantasy #1'."
THE END
--
Steven Han - sh...@nyx.cs.du.edu - finger for PGP key
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