Adios 1/1 by Pendgirl
Lisa Reeves
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----------------------------------------------------------------
From: Pend...@aol.com
Subject: NEW: ADIOS 1/1 by Pendgirl (Answer to Emu's Challenge)
Summary: Scully's *last letter* to Mulder. In response to Emu's
challenge.
Category/Rating: VH/PG
Disclaimer: CC owns 'em, but treats them so shoddily he should be
glad that we are here to pick up the slack. Right? Of course...
ADIOS
by Pendgirl
********************
Comments & Flames are read and devoured.
Send them to Pend...@aol.com
March 29, 1998
To: Fox Mulder
From: Dana Scully
Mulder,
A man once said that a lifetime well-lived did not need years or
action to justify its beauty, but simply the existence of the perfect
soul which inhabited the body in question was enough to quantify the
world with the tiny little daisies that refracted the sunlight and
marked the opaque reflection of the truth and the lies and that one
flawless peanut butter sandwich can make the difference in all those
who are sacrificed in our search, our beliefs and every sweet
prophylactic symbol of our hopes. My hopes. Those hopes.
Another man once said that there's one born every minute.
And if you actually thought that first paragraph meant anything, this
moment is yours.
Yes, yours Fox Mulder.
Now listen up, mumble-mouth. I haven't got a lot of time left and I
want to straighten out a couple of things before I go. I've taken the
morphine, shot up the demorol and have smoked a couple of big,
fat, perfectly legal, marijuana joints (for purely medicinal purposes,
of course) and now feel that the time is right to tell you a thing or
two.
So shut up and shake out the earwax, Bozo.
Number one.
I saw the stupid aliens.
Yep. Right in that mountain vault, running past me like a cub scout
troop in cheap, rubber Halloween suits. They were grey and ugly
with big, fat heads (not unlike yours, by the way) and you can yell *I
told you so!!* all you want, because I ain't gonna be around to hear
it. And have fun trying to push this letter on people as proof.
Remember how many drugs I'm on.
Ah. How sweet it is.
Number two.
Remember all the times I told you that I was *fine*. You know, how I
just kept repeating over and over again *I'm fine*? *Don't worry, I'm
fine*?
Remember?
Well, *I'm fine* is my code for *F*CK YOU*. I wasn't allowed to
curse as a youth, so I invented this nifty little code to help relieve
stress and yet convey a certain professionalism at the same time. (It
also kept the Ivory out of my mouth for a couple of years.) So let me
tell you one last time, for old time's sake...
I'm fine, Mulder.
Just fine.
Finally, let me let you in on a few more death-bed confessions and
then I'll allow you to wallow in that guilt-complex that I would have
assumed an Oxford educated pyschologist could have had Prozac'd
out of himself by now.
The reason I was mad about Detective White is because she had
been making passes at *me* the day before. Finally, I thought,
some action for The Scullster. But noooooo....you had to just horn
right in and *bam*!! I don't get laid for another year.
Thanks, a lot, *partner*.
Oh, and Dr. Bambi. You thought she dumped you for the wheelchair
guy, didn't you? Right? Wrong. I won't go into details, but let's just
say she's every bit as hot as you thought she would be.
Sucker.
Also...I have *two* tattoo's. And since I'm going to be buried *ass-
up*, you might want to check out the *other* cheek.
I think the likeness will astound you (the photo of you I gave to the
artist wasn't a good one, but it served the purpose. Besides, it's not
there for *my* benefit.). Oh, and the little saying underneath pretty
much sums it up.
"I'm fine, Mulder."
Poetic, huh?
So when you kiss me goodbye, you know where to plant it.
And while you're in the general vincinity, be sure you check out that
cheap keychain you gave me for my last birthday. I'm being buried
with it.
And take two guesses where I'm having them put it.
So, so long pal. It's been real, it's been fun, but it hasn't been real
fun. And when you're at my funeral, don't cry yourself to death,
because I'm going to a much better place.
The place were the best lay of my life promised he'd wait for me.
And Pendrell always kept his promises.
See ya around,
Dana Scully
(who is fine, Mulder. Just fine...)
***************************
Flame away!!!! Hit reply!! Pend...@aol.com
Sarah Stegall
BWAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
Sublime. Perfect. Hilarious. Thank you.
Sarah
giggling
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Sarah Stegall*http://www.munchkyn.com/*munc...@netcom.com
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like his passengers...
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