REPOST: Ix-Nay on the At-Chay (Fox Sarcasm) (fwd) by KL Lietz
deirdre
No, I am not Gil, I'm helping out for a while.
I DID NOT WRITE THIS - I am helping the administrator for the x-files-fanfic
mailing list and am posting this story for a subscriber. For information on
the mailing list, go to http://mail.utep.edu/~trevizo/x-files.
Please do not send comments for the author to me -- send them to
((KLL...@aol.com). *Please* try to find missing parts at the archives
first, but if you're desperate, I can help.
http://web.ukonline.co.uk/members/xfilesfanficarchive.d/contents.htm
http://www.bns.com.au/alee/fiction.html
http://www2.iwn.fi/x-files/
http://gossamer.simplenet.com/
http://www.nd.edu/~kenglish/XFilesArchive.html
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In view of all the web sites and Fox Harassment that has been
going on, I revisted this story, and I gotta warn you all -
it is pretty scary how accurate some of my sarcasm was...
Ix-Nay on the At-Chay!
By KL Lietz (KLL...@aol.com)
WHAT IF... some Fox execs got just a little too carried away?
Scene: IRC room somewhere on the Net
AgtMollder: I LOVE Mulder!
WhizGirl: Me too! He was bare-chested in Anasazi last week. Whew! I had
to go take a cold shower after that one! I can't look at a pine tree now
without getting hot.
AgtMollder: What about when he woke up in Scully's bed with only boxers
on? I thought I was going to bust my tape with the still shots.
WhizGirl: I'd call THAT one helluva still shot!
PuffyChestToy: You guys are FREAKS! Mulder is a character in a SHOW! HE
ISN'T REAL!! You need to GET A LIFE!
ThinMan: Go to another group. Why don't you try alt.twins.mary.kate.olsen?
AgtMollder: Ignore PuffyChestToy, maybe he'll go away.
WhizGirl: I would jump Mulder in two seconds if I worked at the FBI. I
don't care WHO was around. Right there Mulder baby, on top of that
regulation desk.
AgtMollder: Yup, me too. Whip cream in hand.
ThinMan: so to speak? Heh heh.
PuffyChestToy: MULDER WATCHES DIRTY MOVIES!!!! POSITIVELY THE TRUTH!!!!!
Fox Network: WARNING: Our monitoring software has detected usage of
copyrighted material. You are being warned to CEASE AND DESIST!
ThinMan: Huh? Who's that?
Fox Network: You are currently talking about a copyrighted character
from The X-Files. If you do not cease and desist you will be slapped
with extreme monetary penalties which will cause your head to spin.
AgtMollder: Is this for real? You must be kidding.
Fox Network: We do not kid. Fox Network does not have a sense of humor.
AgtMollder: Well, that's certainly a good point.
ThinMan: What kind of legal talk is "cause your head to spin"? This
is some hackers sick joke, probably the same person that started those
damn 'Scully, show us your tits!' thread.
Fox Network: You just mentioned Agent Dana Scully, a copyrighted
character owned by Fox Network. You were previously warned. Now we must
take action. You are being fined in excess of $600,000. We have issued
a lien against all of your personal assets. You are now bankrupt and
penniless. Thank you for playing.
WhizGirl: Huh? We were only talking...
Fox Network: You are not allowed to mention any copyrighted character
of the X-Files without paying a royalty determined BY us, and paid TO us.
AgtMollder: But you don't own the characters, Chris Carter does.
Fox Network: Chris Carter does not exist. He is a fictitious person
invented by Fox Network and we own the rights to him as well. Further
mention of his name will result in a fine. You HAVE BEEN WARNED.
ThinMan: You are out of your minds.
Fox Network: We have no minds. We are a megalomaniac conglomerate of
corporate America.
WhizGirl: But I thought Fox only wanted us not using copyrighted
images from The X-Files.
Fox Network: We started there. It was so much of a success, we decided
to copyright everything. We now hold rights to ANYTHING even REMOTELY
involved with The X-files including Duchovny's dog Blue, Anderson's
baby Piper and even Mitch Pileggi's bald head.
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