1/1 But It's My Heart by Spooky
Lisa Reeves
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----------------------------------------------------------------
From: Spooky <vsta...@sun.iwu.edu>
Subject: New: But It's My Heart
Ok, this is my first time posting anything, so I hope I did everything
right.
But It's My Heart
by Spooky (vsta...@sun.iwu.edu)
Spoilers: Never Again, slight Leonard Betts reference.
Rating: PG (?)
Category: V, MSR
If they were mine, I'd never worry about paying for tuition. Instead they
belong to CC, FOX, and 10-13. Since I'm a student, I don't have anything
worth suing over, unless anyone wants a slightly used Organic Chem book.
Summary: Response to the Valentine challenge. Mulder tries to heal the
rift that forms after Never Again.
Author's Notes: For this story, I assumed that the actual timeline is
the viewers timeline, not the shooting order. So Never Again comes
after Leonard Betts. This is my first story posted to the list,
so constructive criticism and WAFF's are eagerly accepted. Flames will be
saved up to burn my MCAT study books (after April 19). I want to
recognize my great friend Abbi for beta reading and encouraging me to send
this in. Thanks Abbi-san! Woof! And now, on with the story.
But It's My Heart
February 14, 1997
But it's my. . .
Those words have been spinning around in my head for over a week. And
everytime I think of them, I wonder how we could have gotten to this
place. When did we just give up on each other? Mulder has always been
someone I could trust, and I thought he trusted me. But I was wrong. How
I wish I could go back to that day and make him finish that sentence.
Because then I wouldn't feel like I'd thrown the best friend I've ever had
away.
We're trapped in the basement in a web of silence. Any other year, Mulder
would be busy cracking singles awareness jokes and we sould commiserate on
the nonexistence of our personal lives. Then he would make a lewd
suggestion, I'd arch my eybrow and give him one of my 'Mulder, when are
you ever going to grow up' looks, and we'd go on about our day. But not
today. Or anyday. We haven't even really spoken since that day. Right
now, I'm just not ready to. Because to really talk to Mulder means that
I'd have to confront my truth, no matter how painful.
But it's my. . .
How I wish I would have had the courage to finish that sentence. But we
were already so far apart emotionally. She's been pulling away from me
and I'm powerless to stop her. She's fine. She's always fine. Which is
why she stares off into space with that look that says 'I'd rather be
anywhere but here'. We are strangers who just happen to inhabit the same
space. Any other year I'd be hitting on her, she'd be ducking it with
those cute looks of hers, and everything would be fine. But this year
that's not going to happen. It's obvious that she will never cross this
bridge that separates us unless I sneak up behind her and give her a big
push. So that's what I'll do.
But it's my life. . .
Mulder left early, without so much as a word goodbye. It figures. I
really need a cup of coffee.
What the hell?
Lying on top of the coffee machine sits a perfect red rose. Attached is a
small note.
Scully,
One perfect rose for you,
my perfect friend.
I'm always here
if you want me to be.
Mulder
But it's my heart. . .
The sound of the key turning in the lock woke me from my daydream. I
turned to see her, framed by the light from the hallway, holding the rose
in her hands. Clutching it like a lifeline.
"Mulder, I need to know something."
"Anything."
"What were you going to say that day?" She didn't have to tell me which
day. "Please, I really need to know."
The anguish on her face as she searched mine for the truth made lies
impossible. The words "But it's my heart" slipped out from between my
lips before I could stop them. I looked back at her to see tears
glittering in her eyes.
"Scully, I'm so sorry. I've ruined everything. Everything I've ever
wandted. Our partnership, our friendship. . .our love. I've always loved
you, with every part of my being. And now I'm left with nothing."
She rushed over to me, tears streaming down her face, and wrapped me in
her arms. We clung to each other, drawing strength from each other.
"Mulder, it's not your fault. It's mine. Something's happened and I
didn't think I could tell you. So I just kept pulling further away.
Until I couldn't even see the man I love any more."
"Whatever it is, we'll get through it." I looked into her eyes and saw
her love blazing through the walls she had erected. And from her
expression I knew that she could see the same thing in mine. Our lips met
in the sweetest kiss I can remember. As she pulled away, I was sure that
we could get through anything.
"Mulder, sit down. I need to tell you something."
THE END
If you liked this even a little bit or even made it to the end, please
send feedback! -Spooky :)
***** vsta...@sun.iwu.edu http://www.iwu.edu/~vstachou *****
The random quote of the week:
Life takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Sangdrax
In <330a589c...@nntp.msu.edu> ree...@pilot.msu.edu (Lisa Reeves)
writes:
"Next week on The Young and the Restless...."
SangDrax