The tooncookie file
Nick Sayer
additions or corrections, please feel free.
----- cut here -----
"Aloooooooha!"
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"And that's a wrap!"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"It's been surreal!"
-- Gogo Dodo
%%
"Parting is such sweet sorrow."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Say 'good night,' Babs."
"Good night, Babs."
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"Au revoir, mon petit potato du couche."
-- Fifi LeFume
%%
"I Built my house of grass.
I built my house of reeds.
It'll give and take,
It'll bend, not break,
It will fulfill my needs."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"I built my house with nails.
I built my house with wood.
It bears a quake,
It'll bend, not break,
It'll stand up like it should."
-- Hamton Pig
%%
"It doesn't seem safe at first
My living like a mole
'Till I reveal
That tempered steel
Is my ace in the hole."
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"Shirley the Loon predicts a quack
To hit by the light of the moon.
She saw it all
In her crystal ball.
No wonder she's called a loon."
-- Plucky & Hamton
%%
"In time of earthquake be prepared
Survive like a gourmet,
With water
and your carrots
can prepare a consomme'.
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"They think that it's OK
To work away all day,
They think living underground
they won't feel the shake
from the big bad quake."
-- Plucky & Hamton
%%
"You should ask us if we care
That you laugh and stare,
We'll be safe living like a mole
When the big bad quake
Swallows you up whole."
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"Aw, crabcakes!"
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"I have grave concerns about the scientific community of Acme Acres"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"I've been thrown out of better dumps than this!"
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"What's your name, and what do you do?"
"My name's Montana Max, and I win, get it?"
"Got it."
"Good!"
-- Announcer & Montana Max
%%
"The Wheel O'Comedy spins and spins,
Bringing us lots of yucks and grins!"
-- Babs & Buster Bunny
%%
We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little looney
And in this cartoony, we're invading your TV.
We're comic dispensers, we crack up all the censors
On Tiny Toon Adventures get a dose of comedy.
%%
So here's ACME Acres it's a whole wide world apart,
Our home sweet home, it stands alone, a cartoon work of art.
The scripts were rejected. Expect the unexpected.
On Tiny Toon Adventures, it's about to start.
%%
They're furry, they're funny. They're Babs and Buster Bunny.
Montana Max has money. Elmyra is a pain.
Here's Hamton and Plucky. Dizzy Devil's yucky.
Furrball's unlucky. And Gogo is insane.
%%
At ACME Looniversity we earn our toon degree.
The teaching staff's been getting laughs since 1933.
We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little looney.
It's Tiny Toon Adventures. Come and join the fun.
%%
And now our song is done!
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"Today, someone in this audience will take home a dump-truck full of
valuable prizes!"
-- Announcer
%%
"Growlgrrrowfsnapgrrruf! Homework: Eat Bunny!"
-- The Tazmanian Devil
%%
"Ohm... Ohm on the range."
-- Babs Bunny [imitating Shirley The Loon]
%%
"Ac[mn]e..."
-- Montana Max [as "Citizen Max"]
%%
"Careful! My parents are still making payments on that [tuba]!"
-- Hamton Pig
%%
"Something's got to be done about that wolverine!"
"He's vicious, rotten and nasty!"
"Not only that, this is the third time this week he's wrecked band practice!"
-- Buster, Hamton and Babs
%%
"I guess a pig's got to do what a pig's got to do."
-- Hamton Pig
%%
"You're a better pig than I am, Gunga Din."
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"Never underestimate the power of a pig!"
-- Hamton Pig
%%
"Alas, poor Hamton! We hardly knew ye!"
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"Poor little sweetie! Gone! Gone forever! It's not fair! _I_ wanted to eat
her!"
-- Furrball Kitty
%%
"A clean cave is a happy cave!"
-- Hamton Pig
%%
"No time for plot recaps now, folks. The gang's in trouble, and we're
cutting right to the chase."
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"This procedure is completely painless. I won't feel a thing!"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"We got ya! We got ya!"
"That's not propper grammar!"
-- Buster, Babs & Hamton
%%
"We don't got ya."
"No kiddiiiiiiiiiiiiing!"
-- Buster & Plucky
%%
"I can never get comfortable in a strange bed."
-- Plucky Duck [tied to a rock]
%%
"I got a plan! I just wish I knew what is was..."
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"What's next?!"
"[reading script] Hamton and Plucky scream in fear as root gives way."
"Oh, rapture."
-- Plucky and Hamton
%%
"Don't come up and see me sometime."
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"There's gold in them thar holes!"
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Me hungry! Been hungry since Act I."
-- Dizzy Devil
%%
"Me want Dizzy Devil cartoons or I eat your house! Maybe your family!!"
-- Dizzy Devil
%%
"Dizzy! Keep your tongue off the table!"
-- Hamton Pig
%%
"Ah, there's nothing like the pitter-patter of little bills."
-- Montana Max
%%
"All these doughnuts and not a cop in sight."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Hey, I better stop this. I may get to like it."
-- Plucky Duck [being dragged by a tour bus]
%%
"Why did you have your thumb on my steak?"
"To keep it from falling on the floor again."
-- Arnold Schwarzeneger & Plucky Duck
%%
"Hello, I'm Mary Vain."
"And I'm John Face."
"And this is Entertoonment Tonight!"
%%
"Don't try this at home, kids. This should be done only by trained
professional idiots."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"You shall play one of the proud, the few, the underpaid! You are a
grand valet!"
"But I don't know how to drive."
"Hey, type-casting. Even better!"
-- Flavio & Hamton
%%
"Careful. I just had it [the Batmobile] detailed."
-- Michael Keaton
%%
"This Chicken hasn't even been cooked. Bones, give me a reading."
"It's raw, Jim!"
"Set phasers on broast."
-- William Shatner & DeForest Kelley
%%
"There's one thing I've got to ask you, punk: Where's my wine?"
"Oh, here you go - 'Waah! But I don't wanna do my homework!'"
-- Clint Eastwood & Plucky Duck
%%
"Yo! Adrian! Adrian! [WHAM!!!!]"
-- Plucky Duck [imitating Sylvester Stalone's "Rocky"]
%%
"The smell of the footlights... The feel of the greasepaint... The big fat
guard sleeping..."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Be kind to your web-footed friends,
For a duck could be somebody's brother.
Be kind to the denizens of the swamp,
Where the weather is very, very damp.
Oh, you may think that this is the end,
Well, it is."
-- Plucky Duck [to the tune, of "Hooray for the Red, White and Blue," sort of]
%%
"...Who needs all that attention and glory? _I_ do!..."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Looky! They're playing our song!"
"We don't have a song! We don't even have a dirge!"
-- Elmyra & Max
%%
"I'm naming my first ulcer after you."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Purple Tux! Look like Prince!"
-- Tasmanian Devil
%%
"I hope Monty will take me."
"I'd rather have a lobotomy!"
-- Elmyra & Max
%%
"You can't do this! I'm rich! I'm important! I'm a Republican!"
-- Montana Max
%%
"Right and wrong have no place here. This is Hollywood."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Today kids, three cartoons about looking out for the little guy."
"Buster! Bad news! You ARE the little guy!"
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"This looks like a job for... The Toxic Revenger! Protector of the
environment and friend to all creatures, great and small... A
wasp! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! ...just kidding..."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"What do you think you're doing in my pool?"
"The backstroke."
-- Max & Plucky
%%
"If you can't pave it, why save it?"
-- Montana Max [his personal motto]
%%
"The Duck of Steel fears no foe!"
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"The cheek of that geek!"
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"It's a deal, but no money-woney until you catch the bunny, honey."
-- Elmyra
%%
"Uh, don't look now, Babs, but we've have a problem-o."
"Yikes!"
"I TOLD you not to look."
-- Buster & Babs.
%%
"Just hold it right there. I am the chairperson for 'Adults Against Funny
Cartoons.' And I've counted over 60 acts of mindless violence in this
cartoon, and... [WHAM!!!!!]"
%%
"Wait a minute! Where are all these anvils coming from?"
"I'm glad you asked that question. They come from Acme Anvil Co, the world's
leading supplier of cartoon comedy anvils and painfull blunt objects since
1930."
-- Plucky and Mr. Answer [Hamton]
%%
"To think that I should never see
A poem lovely as an... [WHAM!!!]... Anvil."
-- Sir Isaac Anvil
%%
"May we proceed?"
"If I said no, would it matter?"
"Hmm...... No."
"You're off my Christmas Card list."
[WHAM!!!]
-- Babs, Buster, Plucky and an Acme Anvil
%%
And you, Plucky Duck, have won a pocket protector, a pair of left-handed
scissors, and a free trip to Europe with all your friends...!"
-- Announcer
%%
"Look! A Weenieburger stand!"
"I guess that's how travel broadens one, huh Hamton?"
-- Hamton & Babs
%%
"Dis is da biggest river in all of Germany, the Rhine. Noted for the famous
German rhinos."
-- Tour guide
%%
"Plucky, this tour is a joke!"
"I'm getting my money's worth."
"Yeah, but it didn't cost you anything!"
"Picky, picky, picky."
-- Babs, Plucky, and Buster
%%
"I have NEVER been so insulted in all my life!"
"Well, you're young yet."
-- Bolivian dignitary and Buster
%%
"My doctor told me to exercise with dumb-bells. [WHACK!!]"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"This is more fun than rabbits ought to have!"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"What? You were expecting maybe Bugs Bunny?"
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"This is going to take a while. You might as well go check in on
Plucky and Hamton."
[and later...]
"Welcome back!"
-- Buster Bunny [during chase scene]
%%
"You'd think Spielberg would send us First Class."
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"Just when we're having fun we get saddled with a plot."
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"If we gave her a penny for her thoughts, we'd have change coming."
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"This announcement paid for by The Wackyland Tourist Board."
-- Gogo Dodo
%%
"Pandemonium doesn't reign around here, it pours."
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"I just can't help myself."
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"I'm Gogo Dodo and that's all you need to know-oh."
-- Gogo Dodo
%%
"I like her. She's silly."
-- Gogo Dodo
%%
"Ridicule is the burden of genius."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Attention! Will the owner of the powder-blue Nova please report to the
parking lot. Your car is on fire... again."
%%
"I'm gonna raise a fuss I'm goona raise a howar.
About a teachin' all day just to try to earn a dowar
Every time I go huntin' just to try to catch a bunny
my gun expwodes and it isn't very funny.
Sometimes I wonder what I'm a-gonna do
but there ain't no cure for the Elmer Fudd Bwooes."
-- Babs Bunny (to the tune of "Sumertime Blues")
%%
"I'm no Kevin Costner, but far be it from me to ignore a strange voice
from out of nowhere."
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"Wackyland! Home, Surreal Home!"
-- Gogo Dodo
%%
"Requesting clearance for landing."
"Roger, rabbit"
"You've got the wrong bunny."
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"For the little guys... For the big guys... For the strange medium guys
with bad haircuts."
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"But Buster, it takes dozens of highly paid network executives years to come
up with a hit TV show."
"Which means it should take us, uh, about as long as this next
commercial break."
"Exactly."
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"I've drawn up a list of everything needed for a hit show."
"Let's do 'Tiny Toons' instead."
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"Oh petyr, oh mentor, oh great unaffordable one..."
"Just call me Bugs."
-- Buster & Bugs
%%
"Mon-neey"
-- Montana Max's doorbell
%%
"May the best player win."
"Not if I can help it!"
-- Babs & Montana
%%
"Now let's take a look at America's favorite passtime."
"Shopping?"
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"Growlsnarfgrrr! Kill Umpire!"
-- Dizzy Devil
%%
"You've never played golf, have you?"
"No.... But I'll beat the pants off YOU!"
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"What'll we do? If we lose this last hole we'll be laughing stocks, outcasts.
Worse than that, we'll be POOR!"
-- Rhubella Rat
%%
"Don't stop now, Monty. You were just getting funny."
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"What color is the sky in that little world of yours, Monty?"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"Fernando [Valunzuela], you better go on a diet."
-- Montana Max
%%
"You never know where one will turn up. How's that for a set-up line?"
"ROOOOARRRRR!"
"What'd I tell you?"
-- Babs & Creature
%%
"Don't let this get around, but I'm a girl without a guru."
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"Coo-coo! Coo-coo! Too much study hall will drive you coo-coo!"
-- Gogo Dodo [as a coo-coo clock]
%%
"Old cartoons never die..."
"They just get canned."
-- Babs & Plucky
%%
"Oops! Mini-mall! Don't these things just seem to spring up like weeds?"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"I'm going to launch the biggest advertising campaign ever! I mean,
look what it did for Batman!"
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"She needs a check-up from the neck up."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"I can't BEWIEVE how incwedibwy incompetent you are!"
"Aw, shucks. T'wern't nothin'."
-- Cupid [Elmer] & Concord.
%%
"She sees all, knows all, tells all... Better than the National
Enquirer!"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"Oh no! This is horrible! It's hideous! It's awful!"
"What is it?"
"A 'Facts of Life' re-run. Yuckola."
-- Shirley and Hamton
%%
"Presents! Just what I deserve!"
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"I'm alive! I'm safe!.... I'm gonna die."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"And now, from the being who brought you fire, and steel belted radial
tires..."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Take away your props and costumes, what would you be?"
"Naked."
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"Where is it written that the duck does all the pratfalls? Where?!"
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"You - divine majesty of wisdom, greatness, and..."
"...Modesty."
-- Prehistoric Buster & Plucky
%%
"Of course, if this assignment doesn't turn out funny, Warner Brothers
will disavow any knowledge of the episode, and blame it on the writers."
-- Bugs Bunny
%%
"You'll need team of rugged professionals."
"Yeah, but all I've got is our usual cast of screwballs."
-- Bugs & Buster
%%
"Now we gotta save Plucky before he gets turned into some kind of
weirdo!"
"It's YEARS too late for that."
-- Babs & Buster
%%
"You know, the worst part about falling through time is always having
to reset your watch."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"You're in a place where common sense has no meaning. You have
entered... The Plucky Zone."
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"It's not just a mistake, it's an adventure."
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"It's magnificent! It's stupendous! It's short! It wins!"
-- Bugs, Porky and Daffy (about Plucky's final exam cartoon)
%%
"Why me?"
"Why not?"
-- Calamity & Beeper [in "sign" language, of course]
%%
"I thought this was going to be a kinder, gentler cartoon."
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"Right! I'll find a position more suited to my natural talents and abilities."
"Like, do you want fries with that?"
-- Babs Bunny [before and after]
%%
"Our hot dogs are large, and not too teenie
So come down to our place and eat the big weenie."
"It sort of gets me right here. [sniff]"
"It sort of gets ME right HERE. [blehack!]"
-- Mr. Weenieburger, Babs & Buster
%%
"We can't get no satisfaction
our poor team's been put in traction!"
-- The Acme Looniversity Pep Club
%%
"growlsnarfgulp! Mmm! Grey Poupon!"
-- Dizzy Devil
%%
"Oh no! We're late again! Steven's gonna kill us!"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"...I'll be rich beyond my wildest dreams!"
"Right, but let's go buy some lottery tickets just in case."
-- Two ACME chemists
%%
"I'm a happy little Teamster."
-- Sweetie
%%
"Read my lips and smell my breath..."
-- Arnold
%%
"This stuff is slimier than my agent!"
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Now that's downright bio-degrading."
-- The Toxic Revenger [Plucky]
%%
"Say kids, have you ever wondered what makes a selfish bird like Plucky tick?"
"Why no, I can't say its ever crossed my..."
"Just say 'yes,' Babs."
"Oh... Yes."
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"...We can enter the head of Plucky Duck and watch his thinking in
action."
"Such as it is."
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"We're in luck! Plucky's having one of his embarrassingly egotistical
dreams of glory. Monitoring his dream patterns will yield incredible
scientific data."
"Or a couple of cheap laughs."
"Good enough."
-- Babs & Buster
%%
"...To wipe out the weed of evil that was choking the life from Acme
Acres. To rip out the foul, festering, fettid tumor of filth that
was..."
"Do you mind? I just ate."
"Sorry."
-- Plucky (narrator) & Plucky
%%
"I must disguise myself as something fearful to strike terror into
their hearts. Something gruesome. Something hideous. Something I can
mass market on a T-shirt and make a whole lot of money."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Now all I needed was a sidekick. Someone I can train. Someone I can
nurture. Someone who can wear a bright red uniform and draw all the
fire... uh... attention. So what do you say, Decoy, the Pig Hostage?"
"I take it there's little point in discussing retirement benefits?"
-- Plucky & Hamton
%%
"Remind me to fire her."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Thanks to the fortune I've made selling Bat-Duck T-shirts (only
$29.99, kids, bug your folks for one), I can afford state of the art
crime-fighting vehicles like this pup here."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"When we last left Bat-Duck he was plummeting to the rescue."
-- Announcer
%%
"How can you tell if an elephant's been in your bed, Duck-Bat?"
"African elephant or Indian?"
"Gee. I don't know. [ WHAM! ]"
-- Question Mark & Plucky [Included for Python fans]
%%
"Oh, Perfecto Prep, the perfect school.
Where winning is our only rule.
There is no team we cannot beat
Because, you see, we always cheat!"
-- The Perfecto Prep Club
%%
"Go team! Go team! If we don't win, we'll kick and scream!"
-- The Acme Looniversity Pep Club
%%
"Yes, it's been a character building year for Acme Loo'."
"Which means we haven't won a single game."
-- Announcer & Plucky
%%
"Don't I just have the cutest toes?"
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"So, can Buster, Plucky and the toonsters possibly win tomorrow's game?"
"Don't bet on it!"
-- Announcer & Toonsters
%%
"Three cheers for old Acme Loo'"
Who cares that our team stinks? (PU!)
We're gonna try 'till the day we die,
'cause we're toonsters, boo boo bee doo."
-- The Acme Looniversity Pep Club
%%
"Friends, this past season as coach, I've taught these toonsters
discipline, perserverance, and teamwork."
"You should have taught them how to play football!"
-- Bugs & Yosemite Sam
%%
"Buster! Buster! What a bunny!
He's so cool it isn't funny!"
-- The Acme Looniversity Pep Club
%%
"So what do you say, toonsters? Are we gonna win tomorrow???"
"NO!"
"Are we gonna lose???"
"YEAH!"
"Are we gonna lose big???"
"YEAH!"
"How big???"
"REAL BIG!"
"Are we gonna get creamed???"
"WE'RE GONNA GET ANNIHILATED!!!"
"We gotta get a new pep club."
-- Babs, crowd & Buster
%%
"Rowrgrggablah! Free agent! Good deal!"
-- Dizzy Devil
%%
"Let me put it in terms you can grasp, Diz. Bleahrgrrrryarf Ball!
grawfyragrrr Long!"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"Dizzy! Dizzy! He's our beast!
He's gonna have a football feast!"
-- The Acme Looniversity Pep Club
%%
"Push 'em back! Push 'em back! Waaaaaay back!
Let's give Dizzy another snack!"
-- The Acme Looniversity Pep Club
%%
"Hey! I'm your mallard!"
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Take no prisoners! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Acme Loo' is [BOOM!] Dynamite!"
-- The Acme Looniversity Pep Club
%%
"Up! Up! And up some more!"
"Look! Up in the sky!"
"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"It's time for lunch."
"Naw, it's SuperBabs"
"Well, I was HOPING it was time for lunch."
-- SuperBabs, Hamton, Plucky and Buster
%%
"And now, my enlarged enemy, it is time for me to leave you absurdly
unguarded while I go paint the town! Hahahaha!"
-- Wex Wuthor
%%
"I wonder who she [SuperBabs] really is?"
"That shouldn't be too hard to figure out. Hmm. Who do we know named 'Super?'"
-- Hamton & Plucky
%%
"Wait 'till you see this film! It's superlative! It's smashing! It's
stupendous! It's...."
"It's STARTING!"
-- Plucky & Buster
%%
"Space. The big parking garage. These are the voyages of the starship
Acme. It's six minute mission: To explore strange new worlds, to seek out
new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no duck has gone
before!"
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Logically, we could cover more ground if we split up."
"Men! I've got it! We'll cover more ground if we split up. Spork, Doc,
you come with me. You extras wander off that way and disappear."
-- Hamton & Plucky
%%
"Darn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a barber!"
-- Dr. Furrball
%%
"Friends are the secret of life!"
"In the sequel, I'm going after some GOLD!"
-- Babs & Passadena Jones [Buster]
%%
"Totally retro! In her next life, I hope she comes back as a lima bean!"
-- Shirley The Loon
%%
"You bunnies can't get away with this! They have laws to protect the rich!"
-- Montana Max
%%
"Dad blasted ornery little critters! If I didn't have tenure, I'd blow
this here pop stand!"
-- Yosemite Sam
%%
"I hear you've been slacking off in Yosemite Sam's class. That's a
serious offence! Now. What would be a fitting punishment? Boiling in
oil? A stretch on the rack? I hear you have a nice stereo we could
confiscate!"
"Sheesh. Am I the only one around here with a CD Player?"
-- The Principal & Buster
%%
"Welcome, toonatics! Today we're presenting three histerical duck tales!"
"Don't use that word!"
-- Buster & Plucky
%%
"If looks could kill, you would not be feeling so well, eh?"
-- Fifi La Fume
%%
"Two! Four! Six! Eight! Monty is a reprobate!"
-- Fifi, Shirley & Babs
%%
"He's a real Marvin Hoggler! A real Hog Hogan!"
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"What do I do now?"
"When you find your center, you'll be in peace."
"When Monty finds me, I'll be in pieces!"
-- Hamton & Shirley
%%
"Monty is clearly the favorite of this fight [clink] in more ways than
one. But where is Hammering Hamton?"
"Pomona, if he made all the lights."
-- Plucky & Buster
%%
"Coo coo! Coo coo! My agent said if I took this part I was coo coo!"
-- Gogo Dodo
%%
"Shirley! Sweetheart! Your dream duck needs a small favor!"
"No. Like, I won't help you cheat on your math test."
"That's what I get for asking a mind reader."
-- Plucky & Shirley
%%
"I call upon the spirit world
to answer my refrain:
Channel the genius of Einstein
into this duck's pea brain."
-- Shirley the Loon
%%
"The size of the [missed it] is in direct porportion to the number of
freeloading inlaws staying at your house."
"What are you talking about?"
"Einstein's theory of relative-ity, of course."
-- Plucky Einstein & Shirley
%%
"Ooooh, what a loon I am... Ooooh, what a loon I am..."
-- Shirley the Loon
%%
"I LOVE to hate rabbits!"
-- Montana Max
%%
"Oh what a perfectly perfect day it is! Only one thing that would make
it perfecter: if I had my very own little bunny-wunny hippity-hop to pet
and love and perform laboratory experiments on!"
-- Elmyra
%%
"Wait! Come back! I have so much more love to give!"
-- Elmyra
%%
"You're making a big mistake, pal! I'm not a rabbit! I'm a boy
millionare!"
"Yeah, that's what they all say."
-- Montana Rabbit & animal control worker
%%
"Unlike cats, pigs never land on their feet."
"No, but we bounce bretty good."
-- Plucky & Hamton
%%
"This is a job for..... someone else."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Yum. Mayo on white. Delish."
-- Babs Bunny [sans her sense of humor]
%%
"Be ve we ve we quiet"
-- sign at Acme Hospital
%%
"The story you are about to see is true. Only the facts have been
changed to get bigger laughs."
"We hope."
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"This is the city. Acme Acres. My name: Bunny. My partner's name:
Bunny."
"No relation."
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"Beat it, dudes! It's the Man!"
-- Montana Max
%%
"How does the defendant plead?"
"On my knees, usually."
-- Judge & Buster
%%
"I can't see!"
"Of course! Justice is blind"
-- Judge & Plucky
%%
"This court finds the defendant AND his lawyer guilty of Slushie
stealing and extreme obnoxiousness!"
"I object!"
"Case closed! [WHAM!]"
-- Judge & Plucky
%%
"Let me out of here! I was framed, I tell ya! Ya gotta let me out of
here! I can't take it anymore! The walls! The walls are closing in
on me! I can't breathe!... How long have we been here?"
"5 minutes."
"My. How time flies when you're having fun."
-- Plucky & Buster.
%%
"Boy, it's dark in here. I can't see a thing except your eyes. Why is that?"
"Oh, it's an old cartoon convention. 'Eyeballs in the Darkness,' you know."
"Wow! If we stay here long enough, think of the savings in animation!"
-- Plucky & Buster
%%
"Oh no! First that blonde, and now this! Sheesh, Alfred! Why don't you
just tell the WORLD we're down here?"
"Humph. See is I stand in line for YOUR sequel."
-- Batman & Buster
%%
"The story you have just see is true. Uh, sort of. Montana Max was found
guilty of gangsterism, vandalism and grand theft - slushie. He served 3
months in the Acme Acres reform school, and another 4 on community
clean-up crew."
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"Buster beat the rap! Buster beat the rap!
That's the end of the show, so everybody clap!"
-- Babs, Plucky & Gogo
%%
"Refresh my memory: whose idea was it to come to Dizzy's party?"
"Hey, it was either this or another night of the Disney Channel."
-- Hamton & Plucky
%%
"Please close your mouths. It's unsanitary. Besides, you look like the
catch of the day at a sushi bar."
-- [the "New and Improved"] Dizzy Devil
%%
"I can see my imaginary friend now! He'd be just like me! No, forget that."
-- Hamton Pig
%%
"HEY!!! I WONDER WHO'S BEEMER IS ON FIRE IN THE PARKING LOT!!"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"Name?"
"Dropper."
"Name??"
"Calling!"
"NAME?!"
"rank, serial number, but that's all I'm giving you."
-- Buster & Matre D. [at "Attitude"]
%%
"You may clean out the stables now. Do a good job and next year I'll buy
you a shovel!"
-- Montana Max
%%
"You know, as hip as the 90s get, there are a few trends that'll never
catch on."
"Like live hyena wrestling?"
"That's one."
"Or the edible hula-hoop?"
"That's another."
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"Nice outfit, Rhubella. Didn't they have it in your size?"
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"Oh yeah? Well, my lawyer can beat up your lawyer!"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"That boy probably never took a nap without a crib sheet."
-- Foghorn Leghorn
%%
"I'm not in this cartoon either."
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"Our toys are not to be laughed at."
-- Acme Toy Company logo
%%
"Gepetto! You've done it old man! It's the first interactive, beligerant
toy in the world!"
-- President of Acme Toys
%%
"I am NOT a toy!"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"Stop that bunny! He's worth more than we are!"
-- President of Acme Toys
%%
"Once upon a time, in the beautiful forest... Well, not exactly a
beautiful forest... But in a development of pre-fabricated trendy
houses where there USED to be a beautiful forest..."
%%
"There. Homemade porrige. And it's completely natural."
"Yeow! My porrige is too hot!"
"Oh my! My porrige is on fire!"
"MY porrige is nuclear waste!"
-- The Three Bears
%%
"You've got to give them credit... Everyone else does."
-- Junior Bear
%%
"And so, the three bears lived happily ever after. Well, not
exactly happily, but in an climate controlled, professionally managed
coexistence."
%%
"It's no fire-a, it's Elmyra!"
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"How long do you think I'll last being cooped up in here? The walls
are closing in on me! I'm fading fast! This is it for the little
rabbit! I'm not going to make it!"
"Hey Buster, when you're gone, do you think I can have your video
tape collection?"
"Can we talk about this later, Plucky?!"
"Well! Excuse me for breathing!"
"I can't breath! The cage is spinning around! Everything is going
blurry!"
"Buster, on behalf of the Academy, I'd like to present you with this
award for best death scene in daytime television."
"You like me! You really like me!"
"It's getting dark! This is the end! Going! Going! Gone! [wump]"
-- Buster's death scene. With Plucky & Hamton
%%
"You mean you've never known what it's like to be free?!"
"Free? What's that?"
"Well, it's sort of like this, except the trees aren't plastic."
-- Buster & Tyrone turtle
%%
"Now, Babsie, your problem is a precocious, attrocious neurosis
mit hyper-agressive, mannic-depressive hare-ophobia... Mit ein cherry
on top."
-- Hamton [as Mr. Acme Rent-a-Shrink]
%%
"So long, Mona. See you in Barcelona!"
-- Babs [after sending Elmyra to the Olympics]
%%
"Space bunnies from Mars? Imagine! Cuddely life-forms from another
planet!"
-- Elmyra
%%
"Fasten your seatbelt, and please observe the 'No Screaming' sign."
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"Oh mommy! Look at the cute little human! Can I take her home?
Can I huh? Can I huh? Can I huh huh huh?"
"Now Junior. You know you microwaved the last one."
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"Hello. I'm Montana Max, and you're... POOR!!"
-- Montana Max
%%
"Buster, we need your help."
"No kidding. I've been watching the show."
-- Hamton & Buster
%%
"...I remember it like it was... a flashback!"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"So let me get this straight. You want obedience, total loyalty, and
I have to like you too?"
"That's what I'm paying you for."
"Sounds fair to me."
-- Plucky & Montana
%%
"So remember, vote early and vote often for your pal, Montana Max. I'll be
the best president money can buy!"
-- Montana Max
%%
"I don't get it! I've pulled every trick in the book and I'm still
losing!!! Plucky!!!!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Why am I losing?!"
"Have you considered using breath mints?"
-- Montana & Plucky
%%
"Good evening. Tonight, we look at Buster Bunny: class presidential candidate,
or no good razzle-fragging rabbit!?"
-- Montana Max
%%
"Elmyra, you're Montana Max's girlfriend."
"I am?"
"That's the rumor."
"What rumor?"
"That you're Montana Max's girlfriend."
"I am?"
-- Hamton & Elmyra
%%
"Who are you?"
"Just call me Deep Quack."
"Gee. I wonder who it could be."
"I know how Monty framed you. I've got the inside dope."
"Because you're inside?"
"No, because I'm a dope for helping Monty..."
-- Buster, Babs & Plucky
%%
"...In fact, you're so corrupt, we're thinking of running you for higher
office!"
-- Babs Bunny [ to Montana, impersonating J. Paul Getty ]
%%
"Dizzy! It is, like, crucial that we do something about this!"
"Oui! This screen is way too cramped!"
"It reminds me of a past life. I was, like, one of the Hollywood
Squares."
-- Shirley & Fifi
%%
"In a previous life I was Marie Antoinette. Maybe that's why I'm so
mindless in this one."
-- Babs Bunny [impersonating Shirley The Loon]
%%
"Le Sigh. My boyfriends have stood me up more often than the French National
Anthem."
-- Babs Bunny [impersonating Fifi LeFume]
%%
"I'M the silly green duck with an ego the size of Cleveland!"
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Maybe Hamton's right. Maybe Buster is shy about inviting me to the
prom. Maybe he's waiting until the last minute to call me. Maybe I
should run home right now and sit by the phone like a drooling maniac
so I don't miss his call! No, I'm way too cool for that. BUT I CAN'T
TAKE THAT CHANCE!!!"
-- Babs Bunny
%%
[ring ring]
"Hello?"
"Hello, Babs. This is the President of the United States."
"Get off the line, Mac! I'm waiting for an important call!!!!"
-- Babs & George Bush
%%
"I also do Bar-Mitzvers"
-- Sneezer
%%
"I'm sorry. The rabbit you have dialed has been disconnected."
-- Babs Bunny
%%
"Say, we don't have to hang around here, you know. My dad's car
is right outside."
"Right. So is your dad. He drove us, remember."
-- Plucky & Shirley
%%
"You're what's the matter! You're a complete waste of space! You have
a personality that rivals spore mold! On the evolutionary chart, you're
someplace between head cheese and toaster ovens! You're a cruise to
nowhere! A nill! A void! A zero!"
"Just what are you trying to say?"
-- Montana & Elmyra
%%
"You saved my life, Bugs! How can I thank you?"
"Next time, swipe one of Daffy's routines."
-- Buster & Bugs
%%
"There are two hoods on guard down there, Decoy, so how's about you
swing down there and take them out with this Bat-boom... Now, now.
Boomer's a-tickin'. Off with you. I'll sneak around and cover you
from the all-concealing shadows - where it's safe."
"Aaaaaaah! [wump]"
"Look. It is Decoy, The Pig Hostage. Leave us bring him inside."
"What is this thing?"
"Who cares? Just toss it over into the all-concealing shadows."
[ BOOM! ]
"You...scummy...criminal...scum..."
-- Bat-Duck [Plucky], Decoy [Hamton] & Two Hoods
%%
"What's your scheme, you warped, twisted sediment in the chocolate milk
of life?"
-- Bat-Duck [Plucky]
%%
"Like, have your mantra call my mantra, 'kay?"
-- Shirley The Loon
%%
"This is my part in today's show? A stupid puppet?! I quit!!"
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Five million, three hundred thousand and.... Oh, a dirty one. Want it?
Can't have it!! Hahaha!!!"
-- Montana Max
%%
"Who watches the watch ducks?"
-- written on looniversity blackboard
%%
"Speaking of garbage..."
"What?"
"Who wrote today's script?"
"Be nice!"
-- Buster & Babs
%%
"Never show Chewcudda anything red, even your tongue. It's the bull in him."
"Don't worry, I won't. It's the chicken in me."
-- Ollie & Plucky
%%
"Remember: In space, no one can hear you quack."
-- Buster Bunny
%%
"I'm warning you, wise guy, you better think twice before you test anything on
me! Because I do lousy on tests."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"Remember: A stich in time saves... uh... a lot of embarrasment! You
can lead a horse to water, you know, but... uh... a pencil must be
lead. When the going gets tough... this duck goes bye-bye."
-- Plucky Duck
%%
"How Speilbergian!"
-- Buster Bunny
%%
----- ereh tuc -----
--
Nick Sayer | Official Scapegoat for the | "And now my
mra...@quack.sac.ca.us | CATV Mailing List. | post is done!"
N6QQQ | To subscribe, send mail to | --bus...@acme.edu
209-952-5347 (Telebit) | catv-r...@quack.sac.ca.us |
