Teletubby books
Dale Blumenthal
Potpouri Winky
Teletubbyland Press
You may want to read this book if you have enjoyed MOMMY DEAREST.
This 300 page plus story, written entirely in baby talk, by a former
teletubby, Potpouri Winky (Po) tells all about her childhood when she
was living as a teletubby under the auspices of her adopted father, Tink
J. Winky, better known as Tinky Winky.
According to Po, Tinky Winky was a mean and evil teletubby who often
abused her. Po writes that "Tinky Winky hit Po much" and "Tinky Winky
wake Po up in middle of night and make Po wash floor with toothbrush and
not let Noo-Noo tidy up so Tinky Winky can punish Po. Tinky Winky make
Po cry."
Po writes that Tinky Winky was cold and punitive.
Laa-Laa and Dipsy are upset about the book.
"Po lie." says Laa-Laa. "Tinky Winky not like that. Tinky Winky good
man." Laa-Laa was near tears. "Po very mean write that. Tinky Winky
loved Po very much."
Says Dipsy: "Po write book for publicity. Po write book make money!
Tinky Winky very kind.' But Po insists she wrote the truth.
So yours truly checked with a camera man who filmed the teletubby
dances. He claimed that Po was often an uncooperative little -----.
He often had to get stern with Po because she often refused to dance. Po
also was fresh at times and talked back at the trumpets. She once told a
trumpet to "Drop dead." She got the other teletubbies mad, too, he
claims. He says that Po was a very spoiled teletubby. TW often hit her
because he lost patience with Po."
The jury is still out.
MEMOIRS OF A TUBBY
Laa-Laa Winky
Teletubbyland Press
This book is a must read for teletubby fans. It tells of Laa-Laa's
childhood days before she grew up, when she was still a little
teletubby. Now she's a grownup alien, but that's besides the point,
Read about how the four escaped to Earth from their home planet in
the star system of Zeta Reticuli 1 to escape from that evil dictator
Xenu. Read how they flew in that spaceship, now the tubbytronic
superdome and how they landed in Warkwickshire, England. Read how TW
piloted the spaceship in the worst way, turning the tubbytronic
superdome into a vomit comet and how many barf bags were used by the
other teletubbies.
Read how the tubbies landed on Earth destitute and how they couldn't
afford a house, so they used the superdome as a trailor, thus converting
teletubbyland into a trailor park.
The teletubbies had no clothes to wear except for those pressurized
spacesuits. After a while, they became British citizens.Their publicity
made them rich and they eventually outgrew their tubby suits with the tv
sets on them to wear ordinary clothes. Laa-Laa explains in baby talk
that the antennas they have on their heads are not tv antennas but brain
implants to help them communicate better. And how the word "teletubby"
is actually an English mispronunciation of an ancient E.T. word,
"teeleetoobiya" meaning "not of this Earth.
Read about how the Noo-Noo was a womanizer and how he once snuck
off to a local pup outside the Teletubbyland Estate to go to a burlesque
show and how his eyes rolled when the strippers walked on stage and how
he came home drunk the next morning.
Read the tear-jerking chapter about how Tinky Winky had to sell
the windmill to save Teletubbyland from foreclosure.
Read about the bitter famlly fued the teletubbies are having with
the telechobis down in Mexico. Read about Hamish singing in the bathtub.
Read about the neighbors, the Tots.
There are many more juicy chapters in MEMOIRS OF A TUBBY too
numerous to mention in this 500 page book which I give four stars.
Teletubbily Yours, Ufoer
Chuck Williamson
reading about TINKY DEAREST. Excuse me, I have to take a break before I read
the second book review. My side aches....bwaahahaha
Telechucky
"Dale Blumenthal" <uf...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:29830-38...@storefull-127.bryant.webtv.net...
Dale Blumenthal
Dipsy Winky, M.D.
Teletubbyland Press
This book is not a best seller like Tinky Dearest or Memoirs of a
Tubby, but it is juicy just the same. It tells of Dr. Winky's rise to
manhood and his career as a psychiatrist. I know that's hard for
earthlings to imagine--having a teletubby for a shrink. But Dipsy is the
first psychiatrist ever to treat troubled alien teens.
Dipsy decided that psychiatry was his calling after he became a
teenager and noticed that as the teletubbies got older and not little
teletubbies anymore, that life in Teletubbyland was not so simple
anymore. The turning point was when Tink sold the windmill. That was a
major trauma in his life. Then Dipsy noticed that Po didn't like to be
called tubby and she developed an eating disorder and starved herself so
much that she became a teleskinny. Laa-Laa was not so much better off,
Dipsy discovered. She did not like being a teletubby anymore. She was
the only teletubby in her tenth grade class and felt funny about it,
being the shortest girl in her class with that antenna and big ears,
etc. Laa-Laa developed a hang up about being a teletubby. The incident
that tipped the apple cart was when Aunt Tookie told Laa-Laa that she
was going to be a teletubby for the rest of her life. That night,
Laa-Laa slashed her throat in a suicide attempt. She was rushed to the
hospital and almost died. Tink had her committed to a mental hospital
for three months. All this had an effect on Dipsy. If there were
troubled alien teenagers in his family, his two now very troubled
sisters, then there must be countless other alien teenagers who needed
help. Then Dipsy heard about UFO crashes and the survivors of the
victims. Dipsy decided to go to medical school to become a psychiatrist.
Dipsy went to Columbia University in America to get his MD and studied
psychiatry. He worked in a mental hospital for a few years, then got his
private practice. Dipsy Speaks is an interesting compilation on ten of
the most impressive cases he has treated, nine of them teenagers, and
one was a depressed widow of a UFO crash victim. Very interesting book.
Ufoer