A Simple Investigation comments by someone plain and simple
Plain and Simple Cronan
Friends, Trekkers, People with annoying laughs lend me your ears. I come
here not to praise DS9 but to bury it. Under what you say? All the
mockery, ridicule and sarcasm I can summon. It will be glorious oh yes most
glorious........
What has inspired this potpourri of negative emotion, you might ask if so
inclined and have nothing better to do. A certain episodes of DS9. But not
just any episode my friends. We are talking about a new low in writers
repect for their audience. We are speaking of a new and previously
unfathomable low in the caliber of Trek.
In my life I have suffered many painful moments. On my first day of school
I put my shoes in the fish tank which lead to the painful death of all
those poor fish. My pants once fell down in the middle of the foodcourt at
my local mall. I once sat through an entire movie starring Shannon Tweed
... without wretching. All these pale in comparison to the catastrophe that
was, "A Simple Investigation". In all 6287 days of my life never before
have I been subjected to such an elaborate display of ineptitude.
I swear to you that this episode reminded me of a some badly written
fanfic. It had all the right components: a secret liason, a character
discovering their sexuality, and an ending that meant absolutely nothing.
Throughout this episode I kept asking myself what they were thinking and I
actaully got an answer from no one other than Norman, my three inch blue
elf. He carefully explained to me that there were several flaws in my
thinking. My first error, as Norman pointed out, was calling the hack who
"wrote" this teleplay a writer. Obviously s/he did not write anything they
merely sat and watched Cinemax around 4:00am and watched the latest in
movies that were too bad to go straight to video. My second error was to
assume that an episode focused around a characters sexlife might be
"written" with repect for the audiences. My third error, and final error,
was to *not* expect something this puerile in an episodes whose trailers
made it plain that "Odo gets laid."
As Norman explained these to me while pacing atop the television set I
began to realize I was quite possibily insane. Pehrpas the entire episode
was an ellaborate hallucination. Perhaps my chemically unbalanced psyche,
in attempt to destroy what sanity remained, created this ..... whatever the
hell it was to remove the last barriers in its conquest of my soul. If it
is so please tell me.
Well thats all I have for now. If I missed anything let me know.
-- Plain and Simple Cronan, XO of the USS Megadittos <*>
Those wizened prognosticators of old foretold what was destined
to be using techniques thought lost in the mists of antiquity. They
spoke of a man, a man plain and simple yet with the potential to
safeguard mankind from the coming dangers. He is Cronan, our only
hope.
-- Wisened Old Guy wearing no pants by the freeway
Chris Blaise
On 4 Apr 1997 21:25:23 GMT, "Plain and Simple Cronan"
<mal...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
> What has inspired this potpourri of negative emotion, you might ask if so
>inclined and have nothing better to do. A certain episodes of DS9. But not
>just any episode my friends. We are talking about a new low in writers
>repect for their audience. We are speaking of a new and previously
>unfathomable low in the caliber of Trek.
While I found the episode boring and predictable, I have to
defend it from being the in that lowest circle of hell known as "the
lowest of Star Trek lows".
It was NOT as bad as Star Trek V, TNG's _Sub Rosa_, or
Voyager's _Threshold_ (or the majority of Voyager episodes).
TTYL
Chris
Robert Cook
ch...@blaise.com (Chris Blaise) wrote:
Agreed. It was just yer standard Star Trek one-episode romance
reset-button job. Dull, but not jaw-droppingly bad. Compared to some
of the drek shovelled out by Voyager of late, it was almost a
masterpiece. (Almost.)
Did anyone else find themselves thinking that Worf was right for a
change, and all the other characters should have butted out of Odo's
personal life?
Robert M. Cook
co...@sos.net
http://www.sos.net/home/cook/index2.htm
Plain and Simple Cronan
ch...@blaise.com (Chris Blaise) wrote:
> > While I found the episode boring and predictable, I have to
> >defend it from being the in that lowest circle of hell known as "the
> >lowest of Star Trek lows".
I am afraid that it belongs in that circle of hell.... Not only was this
episode insulting it was wasteful of Rene Audenujoinus talents.
> > It was NOT as bad as Star Trek V, TNG's _Sub Rosa_, or
> >Voyager's _Threshold_ (or the majority of Voyager episodes).
Au contraire. Star Trek V could at least be laughed at and had something to
it. There was a very interesting message: the rejection of newage mumbo
jumbo..
Robert Cook <co...@sos.sos.net> wrote
> Agreed. It was just yer standard Star Trek one-episode romance
> reset-button job. Dull, but not jaw-droppingly bad. Compared to some
> of the drek shovelled out by Voyager of late, it was almost a
> masterpiece. (Almost.)
It was not standard it was the well worn plot used poorer than ever before.
I do believe you are damning it by faint praise. You see comparing a
Elcamino to a Minivan is not exactly like comparing a Porsche and a Nissan
is it?
Steve Patterson
In article <01bc42cd$f6224060$282192cf@default>, "Plain and Simple Cronan" <mal...@worldnet.att.net> says:
>
>I am afraid that it belongs in that circle of hell.... Not only was this
>episode insulting it was wasteful of Rene Audenujoinus talents.
Unless I misremember, his name is spelled Auberjonois. (There's no such
thing as bad publicity, as long as they spell your name right...)
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Note: My "from:" address has been altered to foil mailbots.
Please use the corrected address appearing below.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Steven J. Patterson spatt...@wwdc.com
"Men may move mountains, but ideas move men."
-- M.N. Vorkosigan, per L.M. Bujold
See my pitiful webpage! http://www.wwdc.com/~spatterson
pf2...@aol.com
> Did anyone else find themselves thinking that Worf was right for a
>change, and all the other characters should have butted out of Odo's
>personal life?
Yes
Check out Pf2144's Ultimate Orioles Site at http://members.aol.com/pf2144/orioles.html
Plain and Simple Cronan
Steve Patterson <no_spam_s...@wwdc.com> wrote
> Unless I misremember, his name is spelled Auberjonois. (There's no such
> thing as bad publicity, as long as they spell your name right...)
Thank you. I always get his name wrong..
Mean Joe Cool
In article <01bc42cd$f6224060$282192cf@default>, "Plain and Simple Cronan" <mal...@worldnet.att.net> writes:
>
>
> I am afraid that it belongs in that circle of hell.... Not only was this
> episode insulting it was wasteful of Rene Audenujoinus talents.
>
I think it was one of the most high ranking episodes yet. It definitly
brought out the full color of the character Odo. Excellent writing and
acting!!
==================================================
= _|_ =
= ,' | `, =
= / | \ =
= | _|_ | Mike Clark =
= | ,',|,`, | g_cl...@titan.sfasu.edu =
= |//_|||_| | =
= ||',-"-,`|| "May the Prophets walk with you"=
= ||/ \|| =
= \| |/ =
= `,___,' =
==================================================
Arthur Levesque
Robert Cook (co...@sos.sos.net) wrote:
RC>It was just yer standard Star Trek one-episode romance reset-button
RC>job. Dull, but not jaw-droppingly bad...
It was something that probably should have happened while Odo was
still a solid, IMO.
RC>Did anyone else find themselves thinking that Worf was right for a
RC>change, and all the other characters should have butted out of Odo's
RC>personal life?
Yes.
--
/\ Arthur Levesque Smoketoomuch, 2A4W <*> King of the Potato People
\B\ack bubba bo bob baks...@nicom.com =/\= Alicia's Homey Bunny! (-O-)
\S\lash Heaven's Gate "a good way to get rid of a few nuts." -Ted Turner
\/ Hoopla, Denton! Cthulhu matata! [fnord] www.nicom.com/~bakslash
Plain and Simple Cronan
Mean Joe Cool <g_cl...@titan.sfasu.edu> wrote
> I think it was one of the most high ranking episodes yet.
Sad isn't it?
It definitly
> brought out the full color of the character Odo.
Yes. I would have blushed like hell too
Excellent writing and
> acting!!
As comapred to what? Voyager? Maybe ... Compared to commercials it leaves
something to be desired. Luckily while watching it I had some Mentos and
that solved all my problems.
Matthew Murray
On Sun, 6 Apr 1997, Chris Blaise wrote:
> While I found the episode boring and predictable, I have to
> defend it from being the in that lowest circle of hell known as "the
> lowest of Star Trek lows".
>
> It was NOT as bad as Star Trek V, TNG's _Sub Rosa_, or
> Voyager's _Threshold_ (or the majority of Voyager episodes).
Well, that's all well and good, but can you put it into
perspective by comparing it to DS9? Was it as bad as, oh, say "Rapture?"
===============================================================================
Matthew A. Murray - n964...@cc.wwu.edu
Over 175 computer game reviews, Babylon 5 links, and more on my home page:
http://www.wwu.edu/~n9641343
===============================================================================
Windows 95 - From the Makers of EDLIN!
===============================================================================
XTREMRAGE2
I liked this episode....it was alittle slow, but I thought it was a great
look into Odo's character. Plus, any chance to see Bashir's holodeck
program is cool. That scene with O'brien was very cool... "Oh, hi Odo"
....
The next episode, with quark selling weapons, looks very promising
too.....
Keith Adams
g_cl...@titan.sfasu.edu (Mean Joe Cool) possibly posted this:
>In article <01bc42cd$f6224060$282192cf@default>, "Plain and Simple Cronan" <mal...@worldnet.att.net> writes:
>>
>>
>> I am afraid that it belongs in that circle of hell.... Not only was this
>> episode insulting it was wasteful of Rene Audenujoinus talents.
>>
>I think it was one of the most high ranking episodes yet. It definitly
>brought out the full color of the character Odo. Excellent writing and
>acting!!
Please check the box if you liked any of the following
episodes as well;
( _) Threshold
(_) Looking for Par'mach in all the Wrong Places
(_) Let He Who is Without Sin
If one of the preceding boxes was checked, watch one of the above
Episodes after an average episode of Homicide or ER and figure out which
contained more comedy.
If two of the preceding boxes were checked, go and rent all of the
movies they show on MST3K and watch them all without witty repartee.
If three of the preceding were checked, seek psychiatric help.
Now.
--
Keith Adams ja...@cwo.com
"It's a political idea; facts don't come into it."
Mean Joe Cool
In article <01bc4359$855dd240$792192cf@default>, "Plain and Simple Cronan" <mal...@worldnet.att.net> writes:
>
> As comapred to what? Voyager? Maybe ... Compared to commercials it leaves
> something to be desired. Luckily while watching it I had some Mentos and
> that solved all my problems.
>
You should read Hamlet.
=================================================================
| Mike Clark | g_cl...@titan.sfasu.edu |
| _ _____ _____ _ |
| _/_/ _/ _/_/_/ _/_/_/ _/ / _/ _/ _/ _/ |
| _/ _/_/ _/ _/ == _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ |
| _/ _/ _/_/_/ _/_/_/ _/ _/ _/____/ _/ |
| |
|"No bloody A, B, C, or D." |
=================================================================
Victor
| > I am afraid that it belongs in that circle of hell.... Not only was
this
| > episode insulting it was wasteful of Rene Audenujoinus talents.
| >
|
| I think it was one of the most high ranking episodes yet. It definitly
| brought out the full color of the character Odo. Excellent writing and
| acting!!
|
Agreed! It's nice to know that the characters in DS9 act like REAL people;
from actually having sex, and relationships; to discussing and joking bout
it all. Very refreshing IMHO.
Victor
Francis M'stein
On Mon, 07 Apr 1997 16:23:13 GMT, ja...@cwo.com (Keith Adams) wrote:
>Please check the box if you liked any of the following
>episodes as well;
>
>( _) Threshold
>(_) Looking for Par'mach in all the Wrong Places
>(_) Let He Who is Without Sin
>
>If one of the preceding boxes was checked, watch one of the above
>Episodes after an average episode of Homicide or ER and figure out which
>contained more comedy.
>
>If two of the preceding boxes were checked, go and rent all of the
>movies they show on MST3K and watch them all without witty repartee.
>
>If three of the preceding were checked, seek psychiatric help.
>Now.
I kind of feel inclined to half-check the Parmach box..... What would
you recommend to me? ;)
Francis M'stein
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