South Park: Post COVID Reveals a Startling Look at the Characters' Futures

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Let's dive into the hour-long South Park: Post Covid special and see everyone
ends up decades later as the pandemic takes a new turn.

: WARNING: The following contains spoilers for South Park: Post Covid,
: now streaming on Paramount+.

One of the things South Park isn't really inclined to do is showcase the kids
from the snowy Colorado town as teens or adults. It helps build the mystique,
leaving fans wondering if they're really in a time-loop caused by Kenny's
deaths, or stuck being forever young. Theories aside, this adds to the fun of
the show as we do love seeing them throwing tantrums and going after each
other. However, that drastically changes in the South Park: Post Covid
special, so let's look at where everyone ends up decades later as the
pandemic eases.

Kenny Becomes A Tragic Genius
Kenny's death is the catalyst for the South Park special, as he's left clues
over what started COVID-19 and a possible cure. It turns out, Kenny
transformed from a trailer park miscreant into a genius scientist, who made
millions. He creates tech, runs a lab and then tries to time-travel to figure
out the secrets over the virus, but sadly, one unmasked trip resulted in him
contracting coronavirus and dying.

Stan Becomes A Bitter Failure
Stan left Tegridy Farms and isn't even on good terms with Randy, his dad, as
he tries to eke out a life away from South Park. He's a whiskey consultant
online, but he neglects his wife, causing a lot of fighting. She's actually
his Alexa, manifesting as a hologram, who throws harsh, profane-laced barbs
his way so as to find out why Stan's hating on his past.

Kyle Isn't Successful With Start-Ups
Stan goes back home to sort out Kenny's death after Kyle calls him. As they
catch up, Kyle admits he's doing stuff with start-ups, but is clearly lying
about it going well. We don't get much more insight into his business or
family, but it does tie into an old episode where Kyle was concerned about
start-ups just being lies to drain investors and dupe the public.

Cartman Is The Perfect Jew
Cartman has matured in his 40s, becoming a rabbi with a family. They're even
more devoted to the Torah, but while Kyle thinks this is all a ruse, it turns
out Cartman is genuine and indeed happy. Funnily, his sex-addicted wife is
similar to Kyle's mom, but it's all coincidence as Cartman shows Kyle the
life he could have had in what's a dark sense of irony.

Randy Is In the Shady Acres Retirement Home
Randy's in the Shady Acres old home, angry at the world -- especially Stan.
He's in a wheelchair, mad that Stan left him after a fire killed Shelly
(Stan's sister). Stan's mom took her life after, but Randy was mainly
concerned about was how his weed-growing farm went under. He and Stan argue
constantly as Stan hates how Randy pushed his mom into a divorce, but they
try to make amends as Randy holds secrets over what caused COVID.

Jimmy Becomes A Comedian and Late Night Host
Jimmy Valmer has always dreamt of being a comedian, despite being in crutches
and telling bad stand-up throughout the series. Now, he's actually hosting a
late night show, akin to Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon. But his jokes aren't
mean -- they're educational, woke and kind, as he wants his comedy to change
the world; a far cry from his nastier punch-lines as a kid.

Where Do the Rest of South Park's Characters End Up Post COVID?
Token Black is now a cop who tries to help with the investigation. Wendy
helps as well, although she didn't marry Stan. Tweak has his weird moments as
he's seen with Craig, showing that they're still buddies, as they also chime
in on Kenny's death when everyone gets holed up at the school following a new
COVID outbreak. P.C. Principal is calling the shots, as expected, and Clyde's
there too, but he's an anti-vaxxer who annoys everyone.

While a couple other characters make cameos around town in non-speaking
roles, Scott Malkinson shockingly gets a big arc. He's a relatively new
addition to the series, but seems to have gotten over his diabetes, acting as
the town's priest and trying to inspire them all again with his awkward
attitude. As for Mr. Mackey and Mr. Garrison, they're at Shady Acres too,
with the latter making lewd sexual comments to women once more.

--
Let's go Brandon!