Kent Brockman Quotes
ro...@prairienet.org
While we're at it... lets list off a few Kent B. lines. Some of my
favorite include:
1. "Burns was taken to a nearby hospital where he was pronounced dead.
He was then taken to a better hospital where doctors upgraded his
condition to 'ALIVE.'"
2. "Early reports stated that the captain of the ship was drunk. Those
reports were later confirmed."
3. "Now we can't say this man is a heartless, cold blooded killer.... So
we'll say he ALLEGEDLY is." (or something like that)
Keep em coming
--
x
Nate Blevins
I don't know the exact quotes, but...
Brockman's daughter: "Daddy, do a show about my dolly!"
Brockman: "Well, you were right about that Berlin Wall thing..."
Brockman:"....I know it's highly irregular to do a whole show about a doll,
but I just couldn't resist! (Closing credits of newscast begin to roll and
Brockman is handed a piece of paper) In other news, the President was
convicted of murder today...more on that tomorrow, or you can look on
another channel. What's that? (looks off screen). Oh...don't, uh, don't
change the channel."
Rick Jessup
ro...@prairienet.org wrote:
>
> While we're at it... lets list off a few Kent B. lines. Some of my
> favorite include:
>
> 1. "Burns was taken to a nearby hospital where he was pronounced dead.
> He was then taken to a better hospital where doctors upgraded his
> condition to 'ALIVE.'"
>
> 2. "Early reports stated that the captain of the ship was drunk. Those
> reports were later confirmed."
>
> 3. "Now we can't say this man is a heartless, cold blooded killer.... So
> we'll say he ALLEGEDLY is." (or something like that)
4. At the risk of being unpopular, this reporter places the blame firmly
on you .. the viewer!
-Rick.
Jeff Smallwood
ro...@prairienet.org wrote:
>While we're at it... lets list off a few Kent B. lines. Some of my
>favorite include:
>1. "Burns was taken to a nearby hospital where he was pronounced dead.
> He was then taken to a better hospital where doctors upgraded his
> condition to 'ALIVE.'"
>2. "Early reports stated that the captain of the ship was drunk. Those
> reports were later confirmed."
>3. "Now we can't say this man is a heartless, cold blooded killer.... So
> we'll say he ALLEGEDLY is." (or something like that)
>Keep em coming
>--
>x
The one that goes something like this (from Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy):
"This reported couldn't stop talking about this doll. In other news,
the President was arrested for murder, more on that later...or you can
turn to another station...........no......do.. not.. turn to another
station."
FXBlack
I have another one for you
"At the risk the risk of editorializing these women are GUILITY and should
be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion before they insite other women
that could lead to anarchy of biblical proportions(Pause) (leans over desk
into camera) IT'S IN REVEALATIONS PEOPLE! (stand-by sign appears with
musak)
Skywise
"I've said it before, I'll say it again, democracy just doesn't work!"
Murcura
>I have another one for you
>"At the risk the risk of editorializing these women are GUILITY and
should
>be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion before they insite other
women
>that could lead to anarchy of biblical proportions(Pause) (leans over
desk
>into camera) IT'S IN REVEALATIONS PEOPLE! (stand-by sign appears with
>musak)
I loved Kent's whole speech when he thought ants were invading Earth, and
he was swearing allegience to them. I can't quote it verbatim, but it is
hilarious (along with his later apology).
*****************************
Sean Murdock
mur...@aol.com
michael air jordan
wants him to write about malibu stacy
"daddy right about the dolly!!!"
"well you were right about the berlin wall"
d'oh
woo hoo
rajinder paul chauhan
michael air jordan
Murcura wrote:
>
> >I have another one for you
> >"At the risk the risk of editorializing these women are GUILITY and
> should
> >be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion before they insite other
> women
> >that could lead to anarchy of biblical proportions(Pause) (leans over
> desk
> >into camera) IT'S IN REVEALATIONS PEOPLE! (stand-by sign appears with
> >musak)
>
> I loved Kent's whole speech when he thought ants were invading Earth, and
> he was swearing allegience to them. I can't quote it verbatim, but it is
> hilarious (along with his later apology).
>
>
> *****************************
> Sean Murdock
> mur...@aol.com
" the governmetn call it the army - but a more alarmest name for it
would be the killbot factory "
mcl...@grove.ufl.edu
On 3 Jan 1997, FXBlack wrote:
> I have another one for you
> "At the risk the risk of editorializing these women are GUILITY and should
> be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion before they insite other women
> that could lead to anarchy of biblical proportions(Pause) (leans over desk
> into camera) IT'S IN REVEALATIONS PEOPLE! (stand-by sign appears with
> musak)
>
>
"The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be "The
Kill-bot Factory." -Michelle <mcl...@grove.ufl.edu>
Kristian Dupont Knudsen
On 3 Jan 1997 23:39:16 GMT, fxb...@aol.com (FXBlack) wrote:
>I have another one for you
>"At the risk the risk of editorializing these women are GUILITY and should
>be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion before they insite other women
>that could lead to anarchy of biblical proportions(Pause) (leans over desk
>into camera) IT'S IN REVEALATIONS PEOPLE! (stand-by sign appears with
>musak)
As when Homer is in the studio being interviewed about his vigilante
group, he (Homer) says: "We'll be right back." and Kent says "I get to
say that!"
Le Penguin
As for Kent...his best lines were either "......leaving the Vice-President
in charge."
or "This just in : Go To Hell!!"
Kurt William Buchheit
<mcl...@grove.ufl.edu> writes:
>On 3 Jan 1997, FXBlack wrote:
>> I have another one for you
>> "At the risk the risk of editorializing these women are GUILITY and should
>> be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion before they insite other women
>> that could lead to anarchy of biblical proportions(Pause) (leans over desk
>> into camera) IT'S IN REVEALATIONS PEOPLE! (stand-by sign appears with
>> musak)
>>
>>
>"The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be "The
>Kill-bot Factory." -Michelle <mcl...@grove.ufl.edu>
Don't forget that the Stand by sign had Brockman in a straight jacket
with "crazy-lines" coming from him
"Welcome ants", nuff said.
jc
In article <5akj1o$a...@lace.colorado.edu>, jeri...@mail.uccs.edu says...
>
>
>"I've said it before, I'll say it again, democracy just doesn't work!"
>
>
>>I have another one for you
>>"At the risk the risk of editorializing these women are GUILITY and should
>>be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion before they insite other women
>>that could lead to anarchy of biblical proportions(Pause) (leans over desk
>>into camera) IT'S IN REVEALATIONS PEOPLE! (stand-by sign appears with
>>musak)
>
>
--
========================================
The episode when they do Action News and try to make the boring Springfield
news more exciting.....
"... THE PRESIDENT DIES!!! ...... his hair..."
"... DAMN YOU SNOW!!!!..."
But... my favorite is:
"...I'd like to take this opportunity to affirm my allegance to this
country and its HUMAN president. It may not be perfect, but its the
best system we have... For now...."
John Lavallée
>
> >> I have another one for you
> >> "At the risk the risk of editorializing these women are GUILITY and should
> >> be dealt with in a harsh and brutal fashion before they insite other women
> >> that could lead to anarchy of biblical proportions(Pause) (leans over desk
> >> into camera) IT'S IN REVEALATIONS PEOPLE! (stand-by sign appears with
> >> musak)
> >>
> >>
> >Kill-bot Factory." -Michelle <mcl...@grove.ufl.edu>
>
> Don't forget that the Stand by sign had Brockman in a straight jacket
> with "crazy-lines" coming from him
>
> "Welcome ants", nuff said.
Which episode was it that they kept showing the footage of the baby goat
instead of what they were supposed to show (including Brockman's
interview with the Pope)? Anyways, I liked his quote when he gets fed
up.
This is not exactly what he said, but it goes something like...
"That's it. I'm leaving. If anyone wants me, I'll be across the street
at McDougald's. I don't care! Call the weekend guy." (Door slams)
I was laughing about that one for a while...
-John
Le Penguin
That would be the Lisa as Little Miss Springfield episode .
I still think Kent's best line was "....leaving the Vice President in
charge .", then he switched over to the lighter side of the news (and he
used that term loosely)
-Le Penguin
"I'm sick of you people! You're nothing but a pack of fickle
mush-heads!"
'He's right!' 'Give us Hell, Quimby!'
bklot...@aol.com
From Kamp Krusty:
"I've been to Korea, Vietnam, and the Persian Gulf and I can honestly say
without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put
together."
Brain @:-)
BKl...@aol.com
"I hate to see a family torn apart by something as simple as a pack of
wild dogs." -Jack Handy
Mathieu Arcand
-Mathieu
ky...@goldengate.net
"I said it before and I'll say it again, Democracy just doesnt work"
-Kent Brockman
Matt Burstein
This is from memory, so please excuse any mistakes:
"Now cameras aren't allowed in courtrooms in this state, so we'll have
to be very quiet . . . "
Le Penguin
"Well, you were right about the Berlin Wall..."
Roger Smith
[fade in] (chuckling) ... which, if true, means death for us all.
(swivels to face different camera) And now, "Kent's People" ....
Simon James
"..in a case the media has dubbed `Beat up waiter'... hmph. This reporter
sugested `Waiter-gate' ..but was shouted down at the press club."
-sj
mun...@bendigo.net.au
How about: "of course we wouldn't be able to actually see inside the
Simpson house without some kind of heat-sensitive camera...so let's turn
it on! (close up of chicken in oven) Now this reporter may be
wrong...but if you ask me we can clearly see homer simpson rotating in
the oven at well over 200 degrees celcius, he's literally stewing in his
own juices!" :-) matt.
Dale winling
"And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords."
Astronaut episode.
Dale
Sarah Fidelibus
mun...@bendigo.net.au wrote:
: How about: "of course we wouldn't be able to actually see inside the
: Simpson house without some kind of heat-sensitive camera...so let's turn
: it on! (close up of chicken in oven) Now this reporter may be
: wrong...but if you ask me we can clearly see homer simpson rotating in
: the oven at well over 200 degrees celcius, he's literally stewing in his
: own juices!" :-) matt.
And in the same ep., when he tells viewers the station will soon be
running footage shot earlier, "...including Marge putting out the cat,
possibly because it was being harassed, though we cannot confirm that."
I also like (from the casino ep.) when he's in line at the unemployment
office, and he says, "Joblessness isn't just for philosophy majors
anymore." And, "At the risk of sounding unpopular, I place the blame for
this recession squarely on you, the viewer."
-sarah
"Anyone we find bipedal in five wears his ass for a hat."
-John Goodman as Gale, in Joel and Ethan Coen's _Raising Arizona_
Zynorph Plutoni
In article <32E870...@bendigo.net.au>, mun...@bendigo.net.au wrote:
>
> How about: "of course we wouldn't be able to actually see inside the
> Simpson house without some kind of heat-sensitive camera...so let's turn
> it on! (close up of chicken in oven) Now this reporter may be
> wrong...but if you ask me we can clearly see homer simpson rotating in
> the oven at well over 200 degrees celcius, he's literally stewing in his
> own juices!" :-) matt.
Kent Brockman at the Homer vs Drederick Tatum fight:
"This just in! Go to hell!"
-em
--
Good day SIR!
Mike Bachiu
Dale winling <lwin...@umich.edu> wrote in article
<32E8EE...@umich.edu>...
> "And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords."
>
> Astronaut episode.
>
> Dale
>
What about, "Eenie, meenie, minie, moe. Is Homer a hero? The answer is
..no."
Mike Zaite
Kent: So <name I can't remember> do you think it's time for our viewers
to crack each others heads open, and feast on the gooey filling?
<man who I forgot name>:Yes I do Kent.
--
Mike Zaite
"What price freedom Admiral?" Col. Christopher Blair
"Smoke Me A Kipper, I'll Be Back For Breakfast!!" Ace Rimmer
" If you don't GOSUB a program loop, You'll never get a sub-routine"
Keryten
END OF LINE
Jonathan Byrd
Sarah Fidelibus wrote:
>
> mun...@bendigo.net.au wrote:
>
> : How about: "of course we wouldn't be able to actually see inside the
> : Simpson house without some kind of heat-sensitive camera...so let's turn
> : it on! (close up of chicken in oven) Now this reporter may be
> : wrong...but if you ask me we can clearly see homer simpson rotating in
> : the oven at well over 200 degrees celcius, he's literally stewing in his
> : own juices!" :-) matt.
>
> running footage shot earlier, "...including Marge putting out the cat,
> possibly because it was being harassed, though we cannot confirm that."
I love Kent Brockman, he is possibly the most often-used character for
social satire. I also love the question he posed in an interview:
"Without knowing exactly what the danger is, would you say it's time for
our viewers to start cracking each other's heads open, and feasting on
the goo inside?"
--
Jonathan Byrd Computing and Communications
j...@isu.edu Idaho State University
(208)-236-3199 Pocatello, Idaho, USA
http://www.isu.edu/~jon/ FAX: (208)-236-3673
Sarah Fidelibus
Jonathan Byrd (j...@isuux.isu.edu) wrote:
: I love Kent Brockman, he is possibly the most often-used character for
: social satire.
Yep. My three favorite characters are Quimby, Brockman, and Wiggum.
They are so dead-on (esp. Brockman). He is so completely local news...
: I also love the question he posed in an interview:
: "Without knowing exactly what the danger is, would you say it's time for
: our viewers to start cracking each other's heads open, and feasting on
: the goo inside?"
Heh, heh. Also, I love it when he wins the lottery, and he shows up for
work the next week wearing a fur coat with his shirt all open and a bunch
of big gold chains and a gold medallion around his neck. Hilarious!
("I'm sure some of you are surprised to see me here tonight, but Kent
Brockman isn't the kind of man to turn down a 500,000 a year job simply
because he won the lottery.")
-sarah
Jay Elbee
>What about, "Eenie, meenie, minie, moe. Is Homer a hero? The answer is
>..no."
I believe in the same episode Burns reassuringly asserts that an imminent
meltdown is nothing to worry about, to which Brockman replies, "Well, this
reporter, for one, promises to be less diligent and more trusting in the
future."
____________________________________________________________________
Jay Elbee - Director
The Paranormal Project
http://www.tenthmuse.com/paranormal
jas...@hooked.net
____________________________________________________________________
Monique Pettet
Don't forget the episode of Gabbo where Gabbo says" All the kids in
Springfield are SOBs" and when Brockman is showing it on the evening
news, he says "Well, GAbbo's language has no place on tv" and then he
thinks he is off camera and says "That oughta hold the little SOBs" and
he chuckles only to have his picture in the top right hand of the screen
with the caption "Brockman in trouble".
Mon
Le Penguin
One of Kent's finest moments came in Bart's Inner Child...he's reporting
on the wave of people who are saying what's on their minds :
"And this reporter thinks it's about <BEEP>ing time!"
Kent soon goes on to gorge himself on two cans on whipped cream .
-Le Penguin
"The GOVERNMENT calls it the 'Army', but a more
alarmist name might be : THE KILL-BOT FACTORY!!"
I M BLOO2
Kent Brockman: (with hastily scrawled "Hail Ants" sign in background)
" I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords."
Alexander Blair Papandrew
> How about the episode where Homer gets to go into space and accidentally
releases the ants into the shuttle: "It's obvious that the astronauts have
encountered an ant-like race far superior to our own. I for one welcome
our new insect overlords." And when Buzz Aldrin tells them that everything
is okay, Kent has to take down his "Hail Ants" sign.
Pap
jcm
Le Penguin wrote:
>
> One of Kent's finest moments came in Bart's Inner Child...he's reporting
> on the wave of people who are saying what's on their minds :
>
> "And this reporter thinks it's about <BEEP>ing time!"
Listen closer next time. He says <BEEP>king time. I distictly heard
the "k" sound in there. Getting closer to crossing the boundaries every
time!!!
jcm
Rick Diamant
In article <5ck3he$l...@gondor.sdsu.edu>
fide...@rohan.sdsu.edu (Sarah Fidelibus) writes:
>Subject: Re: Kent Brockman Quotes
>Date: 28 Jan 1997 05:41:02 GMT
(snip)
>Heh, heh. Also, I love it when he wins the lottery, and he shows up for
>work the next week wearing a fur coat with his shirt all open and a bunch
>of big gold chains and a gold medallion around his neck. Hilarious!
>("I'm sure some of you are surprised to see me here tonight, but Kent
>Brockman isn't the kind of man to turn down a 500,000 a year job simply
>because he won the lottery.")
That episode was just on in syndication, and I didn't see that scene. Was it
cut, or was I just not paying very close attention?
Rick
"The network slogan is true! Watch Fox and be damned for eternity!"
PAPER BLOB
I just saw that episode too, and the scene was in there.
John Lavallée
Rick Diamant <diam...@ext.missouri.edu> wrote in article
<diamantr.10...@ext.missouri.edu>...
I think you just weren't paying attention because I saw that scene in synd.
a couple days ago.
John
___________________________________
John Lavallée - [lava...@cycor.ca]
The 1997 "Mr Irony" award recipient
oscark
> That episode was just on in syndication, and I didn't see that scene. Was it
> cut, or was I just not paying very close attention?
You weren't paying attention. They didn't cut that out as far as I know;
I remember seeing it quite often. So there.
-DK
aj
Monique Pettet <moni...@nether.net> wrote:
>Sarah Fidelibus wrote:
>>
"The President has DIED.......his hair"
Danforth2
"This just in: Go to Hell!"
Mike Ballard
Danforth2 (danf...@aol.com) wrote:
: "This just in: Go to Hell!"
"That ought to hold those little SOB's. What the..."
--
Mike Ballard
mapm...@smartlink.net
Geologist, Bicyclist, Programmer, Local Historian, Railroad Fan.
Santa Clarita, California, United States of America
Virtual Tours of US 6 and US 99 are at :
http://www.smartlink.net/~mapmaker/highway.htm
Visit the Santa Clarita Resources Page at :
http://www.smartlink.net/~mapmaker
History, Geology, and Local Bicycling Information
czar...@ix.netcom.com
mapm...@warp10.smartlink.net (Mike Ballard) wrote:
>Danforth2 (danf...@aol.com) wrote:
>: "This just in: Go to Hell!"
>"That ought to hold those little SOB's. What the..."
When Barney crashed the Duff blimp, Kent says with great emotion, "Oh,
the humanity!" followed by "...anyway," and continues with what he was
saying. You had to be there.
Matthew Soylent Green
In article <5ds8ij$s...@dfw-ixnews5.ix.netcom.com> czar...@ix.netcom.com writes:
>From: czar...@ix.netcom.com
>Subject: Re: Kent Brockman Quotes
>mapm...@warp10.smartlink.net (Mike Ballard) wrote:
How about:
"Well, all I can say is OUCH......for Madonna."
matt
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
_____
(_____) ____
o__\ /_(-) ( )
Matt | \_| |:| / : b
"Soylent" | | |:| / b .|~
Green | | | / .|~
(_______) .|~
"It takes a lot of puff to play a tuba."
-Braiethwait's Original Brass Band
Bill Kastner
In article <MA2GREEN.3...@SCIENCE2.watstar.uwaterloo.ca>, MA2G...@SCIENCE2.watstar.uwaterloo.ca (Matthew Soylent Green) wrote:
>In article <5ds8ij$s...@dfw-ixnews5.ix.netcom.com> czar...@ix.netcom.com
> writes:
>>From: czar...@ix.netcom.com
>>Subject: Re: Kent Brockman Quotes
>>Date: Wed, 12 Feb 1997 11:08:39 GMT
>
>>mapm...@warp10.smartlink.net (Mike Ballard) wrote:
>
>>>Danforth2 (danf...@aol.com) wrote:
>>>: "This just in: Go to Hell!"
>
>>>"That ought to hold those little SOB's. What the..."
>
>>When Barney crashed the Duff blimp, Kent says with great emotion, "Oh,
>>the humanity!" followed by "...anyway," and continues with what he was
>>saying. You had to be there.
>
>How about:
>
>"Well, all I can say is OUCH......for Madonna."
>
"I for one would like to welcome our new overlords, and would like to point
out that as a trusted tv anchorman, i can be usefull in rounding up other for
working in your sugar mines" (or something to that effect)
Bill
Jack (B.J.) Martin
What about in the episode where everone is doing what they feel like:
"...and this reporter feels it's about <beep>king time!!
B.J.
;p
"Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand."