Best Wiggum Line
Your Name Here
From Homer3 halloween episode
Frink:First we draw an ordinary square.
Wiggum:Whoa! Whoa! Slow down egghead!
Shahar Prish
Peace,
> Frink:First we draw an ordinary square.
>
> Wiggum:Whoa! Whoa! Slow down egghead!
Naaa.. I would have to say:
Wiggum : Fat Tony is the cancer of springfield and I'm ... <Hey, what cures
cancer??>
Shahar
Mr. Mood
That's some nice flutin' there, boy.
Eric Burns
My fave is still:
After Chief Wiggum tells Lisa and Ralph about seeing Krusty the Klown
in a porno theater:
Lisa : "That story isn't suitable for children"
Wiggum: "Yeah, but I keep my pants on in this version"
Eric
Adrian Jose Moreno
As Wiggums and Homer are chasing Marge and Divorcee-neighbor in the
"Thelma and Louise" episode, Wiggums is descibing his loaction over the
radio:"I am directly under the sun . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . now."
DGK
Mr. Mood wrote:
>
> That's some nice flutin' there, boy.
I liked that one too(good sight gag as well). How'bout the b-Sharps
episode, at the end when they are on the roof singing...
Cop: Isn't that nice, Chief.
Chief W: It sure is...get the tear gas boys.
please note: quote not to scale... :)
'Beckett' Matt Boris
"That's some nice reckless driving Mr. B."
Brian Olewnick
On Fri, 14 Mar 1997 19:25:59 -0800, 'Beckett' Matt Boris
<mk...@u.washington.edu> wrote:
"I am directly under the Earth's sun.....now."
Brian O.
Colby Nelson
Nah, this is the wrong number. You've dialed 9-1 .... uhhh 2.
Bill Schmalfeldt
Homer: Someday the honest citizens of this town are gonna rise up against
you crooked cops.
Wiggum: Oh no! They are??? Have they set a date???
--
Bill Schmalfeldt
bill...@clinton.net
http://www.clinton.net/~billsloc/
Weatherdon Derek K
Bill Schmalfeldt (bill...@clinton.net) wrote:
: Homer: Someday the honest citizens of this town are gonna rise up against
: you crooked cops.
:
: Wiggum: Oh no! They are??? Have they set a date???
:
:
: --
Wiggum: Put an APB out..a white male, driving a.......car. Suspect is
hatless! I repeat, hatless!
Dee
From the episode where Homer was driving Flanders
nuts...Wiggum busting Ned for driving erratic to escape Homer..
'So where's your savior now, Flanders'
Dee
Read elsewhere in newsgroup the correct line.. Wiggum says
Messiah, not savior. Oh well, 6 of one-half dozen of the other
Jeffrey S Swearingen
This was from the episode when Sideshow Bob was working on the chain-gang and
the police were loading the prisoners back on the bus at the end of the day,
Guard: "We can't find Sideshow Bob."
Wiggum: "If anyone asks, tell them I beat him to death."
Matthew Miller
Wiggum: A ghost car! There's ghost cars all over these highways....(or
something like that)
MFox
MFox
Nathan Philip Hauke
6A-1...@heart.cas.und.nodak.edu>
Distribution:
:
you guys seem to be forgetting..
'donuts, i got donuts.. hey! i know you'
nate
Sam Bethune
Matthew Miller <mat...@email.unc.edu> wrote in article
<Pine.A41.3.95.970318...@login5.isis.unc.edu>...
>
>
> On 16 Mar 1997, Weatherdon Derek K wrote:
>
> > Bill Schmalfeldt (bill...@clinton.net) wrote:
> > : Homer: Someday the honest citizens of this town are gonna rise up
against
> > : you crooked cops.
> > :
> > : Wiggum: Oh no! They are??? Have they set a date???
>
That's a pretty good one. Also, "you've got the wrong number. This is
91...2!"
Paul Lucente
One of my favorite moments, in "Cape Fear" when they bust Side Show
Bob:
Bart: "Take 'im away boys"
Chief: "Hey! That's MY line!
Bake him away, toys"
Lou: "What'd you say chief?"
Chief: "Do what the kid said."
VT ECA
Wiggum: Ah, just get one of those inflatable women, but make sure it's a
women because uh one time.........
Nick Singer
"Oh my God- It's a GHOST car!!"
_-Nick-_
heatmiser
how about, after marge`s shooting test..."you missed the baby, you missed
the blind man"
Matthew Miller <mat...@email.unc.edu> wrote in article
<Pine.A41.3.95.970318...@login5.isis.unc.edu>...
>
>
> On 16 Mar 1997, Weatherdon Derek K wrote:
>
> > Bill Schmalfeldt (bill...@clinton.net) wrote:
> > : Homer: Someday the honest citizens of this town are gonna rise up
against
> > : you crooked cops.
> > :
> > : Wiggum: Oh no! They are??? Have they set a date???
Kevin or Brodie Kelly
"Bake 'em away, toys"
Werner.Peeters
"O. That number again: O"
"Hey! A pony!"
"You have the right to remain silent, bla bla bla, yadda yadda yadda"
--
MAGGIE SIMPSON | Werner Peeters | Office: U538 |
_/\/\/\_ | RUCA Dept. of Mathematics | Phone: maybe someday... |
\,>o(,,/_ | Groenenborgerlaan 171 | Fax: +32 3 218 02 04 |
\(o)(o) /_ | B-2020 Antwerp, Belgium |__________________________|
/c @_/ | E-mail: wpee...@nets.ruca.ua.ac.be
C_, )/ | Homepage: http://www.ruca.ua.ac.be/~wpeeters/
/ |/ |
"Tchunk Tchunk" |
Jason Harrison
On 1 Apr 1997 19:37:03 GMT, "Kevin or Brodie Kelly " <2ke...@aa.net>
wrote:
>"Bake 'em away, toys"
Choo-Choo-Choose episode.
[In XXX theatre]
Krusty - "Oh, Chief Wiggum...Is this a bust?"
CW - "Uh, yeah, yeah that's what it is, a bust"
[Back in police car]
Lisa - "Chief Wiggum, I don't think that story's suitable for
children..."
CW - "Oh yeah, in this version I keep my pants on"
Jet
Andrew Turley
"Hey, Krusty! Remember the time we got loaded and let those beavers
loose in that fine furniture store?"
"That's what they all say. They all say 'D'oh'."
andy
Alan Ramsey
in the Quickie Mart while Apu's being held up. Wiggum said, "Hey, I've
got problems of my own right now! and as his tie rolled further into
the machine, he said "This is gonna get worse before it gets better."
Alan
Chick Hebert
Nick Singer <nem...@roadrunner.atlas.co.uk> wrote:
>"Oh my God- It's a GHOST car!!"
>_-Nick-_
How about the one where Homer and Wiggim are out in the desert frying
up eggs on the engine: "If we can keep these down, we'll be shittin'
pretty".
Rich/MetalMan
I'm assuming you mean "sittin' pretty" since that word isn't allowed
on network television. (Except in some cases, when they air
movies with that word in it.)
Metal Man
dtrai...@aol.com
My favorite Wiggum line is the recurring "catch phrase" he'll utter when
his keystone cop force stumbles into a successful outcome through blind
luck and he'll drawl, "That's some mighty fine police work, boys...."
-Dave
Shawn DeArmond
Bart: "Take 'em away, boys."
Wiggum: "Hey, That's my job. Bake 'em away Toys."
Lou (other cop): "What's that, Chief?"
Wiggum: "Do what the boy says."
EliRock3
"Hey! Can I arrest any of you people for anything?"
vincent radford
"Ahhh, get outta town, old clerk guy."
-Vince
Eric Burns
Here are some of my faves:
Enjoy.....EB
___________
Homer: Someday the honest citizens of this town are gonna rise up
against you crooked cops.
Wiggum: Oh no! They are??? Have they set a date???
___________
After Chief Wiggum tells Lisa and Ralph about seeing Krusty the Klown
in a porno theater:
Lisa : "That story isn't suitable for children"
Wiggum: "Yeah, but I keep my pants on in this version"
___________
"Wiggum, you overglorified night watchman, if i'm going down, your
ass is gonna break my fall!!!"
-Quimby
Swmsccr wrote:
>
> It's ok, keep swimming naked, no really, keep swimming. Ah, don't get
> out.
>
> It's something like that. It's when the simpsons get a pool. correct me
> on the quote,.
DChodos107
"There's a break in on elm street Cheif!"
"aww But that's 3 blocks away"
"Hey cheif, The simpsons house is exploding beer!"
"I'm proceeding on foot we need pretzels repeat we need pretzels!"
John Park
How bout...
(Bare with me this is from memory)
MARGE: "Anyone, please help, my name is Marge Simpson and my husband's on a
murderous rampage, over.
WIGGUM: "Phew, glad thats over! I was getting worried there for a minute!"
George E
"No sorry, this isn't 911. This is 91....2"
LMcke60015
How about when his tie is caught in the hot dog machine..."This is gonna
get worse before its gets any better" (from memory, I'm sure it's not
exact)
DBink32
Chief Wiggum has a lot of good lines, but in recent memory the X-Files
spin off was classic...
Homer:"...And it appears every Friday night...Just like Urkel!"
Wiggum:" Well...your story is VERY compelling Mr. JackAss. Let me just
type it up on my imaginary typewriter..."
Arson guy:"...I just set a building on fire..."
Wiggum:"Sure, let me just write this down on my imaginary typewriter...Hmm
hmm hmm hmm hmm....Fruit cake!"
Matt Scott Zelman
"donuts, i got donuts, i got donuts"
homer-"some day honest will stand up to you corrupt cops"
chief-"really? have they set a date?"
chief-"hey i'm the chief of police here. bake him away toys."
chief-"did you have the weird sideways dream too?"
lou-"um, i'll drive"
Darrin James Kent
How about "No...Uhmmm....This is 9-1...2"
Matt Scott Zelman (teen...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
: "donuts, i got donuts, i got donuts"
--
*************************
* Some People are alive *
* Simply because *
* it is against the law *
* To kill them!!! *
*************************
Dragon
James Anthony Musgrave wrote:
>
> How about the episode based on Thelma and Louise, where Wiggum is chasing
> Marge and her wild friend: Dispatcher:Can you give me your location?
> Wiggum:I'm on a road, appears to be asphalt.
> um, um I directly under the earth's sun
> now!
how about during that same episode when they're going down the road and
Marge and her freind turn off the lights: Wiggum: Oh my God, it's a
ghost car.
or something like that.
James Anthony Musgrave
How about the episode based on Thelma and Louise, where Wiggum is chasing
Marge and her wild friend: Dispatcher:Can you give me your location?
Wiggum:I'm on a road, appears to be asphalt.
um, um I directly under the earth's sun
now!
monk...@worldnet.att.net
On 16 Jun 1997 05:16:23 GMT, dk...@trumpet.aix.calpoly.edu (Darrin
James Kent) wrote:
>How about "No...Uhmmm....This is 9-1...2"
>
>
>Matt Scott Zelman (teen...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
>: "donuts, i got donuts, i got donuts"
>
>: homer-"some day honest will stand up to you corrupt cops"
>: chief-"really? have they set a date?"
>
>: chief-"hey i'm the chief of police here. bake him away toys."
>
>: lou-"um, i'll drive"
>
>--
> *************************
> * Some People are alive *
> * Simply because *
> * it is against the law *
> * To kill them!!! *
> *************************
>
Uh - You've got the wrong number. This is 91 - 2.
>
>
bj@brook
At Lisa's concert with Wiggum's kid's flute up his nose:
"That's some fine flutin' son"
jim-d...@webtv.net
How about the time he was to give a tour of the police station to
Bart's class and arrived late.
He goes inside, checks the answering machine sees something like 73
messages and hits erase without checking the messages and says "
Can't anybody in this town take the law into their own hands"
monk...@worldnet.att.net
In "The Shining" episode, Marge says something over the CB radio like
"Help! my husband's going crazy and is trying to kill us! Over."
Wiggum, in his office, hangs up the CB saynig something like, "Whew,
I'm sure glad that's over"
Doug Wikle
On 23 Jun 1997, PfBoy wrote:
> It's gotta be:
>
> "Can't you people work these things out for yourself? We can't be
> _policing_ all you people." or something like that.
>
> Runner up to:
>
> "Subject is hatless. Repeat, hatless."
>
> Psycho Farm Boy
My fovorite would have to be... "Hello? Ahhh... you've got the wrong
number. This is... 912"
From the episode where Kent Brockman win the lottery.
doug
Simpson
The best Wiggum line is when the chief picks up Flanders on the side of the
road thinking he's drunk and says, "Where's your Messiah now, Flanders!"
pod/ren cullen
> >
> >
How about in the episode when Bart gets that Laddie dog and at the end
of the show, there is a drug bust and Wiggum sings "We're Jammin'"????
Now that's comedy!
Zach Bagnall
pod/ren cullen padraig...@bc.sympatico.ca said...
>
>monk...@worldnet.att.net wrote:
>>
>> On 16 Jun 1997 05:16:23 GMT, dk...@trumpet.aix.calpoly.edu (Darrin
>> James Kent) wrote:
>> >How about "No...Uhmmm....This is 9-1...2"
>> >
>> >: chief-"did you have the weird sideways dream too?"
>> >: lou-"um, i'll drive"
he, he - fantastic! How 'bout:
"Shut ya word-hole, ya TV hatin' mutant!"
(to Sideshow Bob at the end of the ep where he
threatens to nuke springfield if they don't ban
TV)
Zach.
Jerry
In article <33b54513...@netnews.worldnet.att.net>,
monk...@worldnet.att.net wrote:
> On Fri, 20 Jun 1997 16:47:18 -0400, jim-d...@webtv.net wrote:
> He goes inside, checks the answering machine sees something like 73
> >messages and hits erase without checking the messages and says "
> >Can't anybody in this town take the law into their own hands"
When the simpsons get a pool. Marge and Homer and swimming at night. Wiggum
is above in a chopper. When he is noticed he says "Continue swimming naked,
continue, oh come on, CONTINUE" and then he whispers to another cop on the
chopper "Get the tear gas"
NO MAIL CONCERNING THE VALIDITY OF THIS POST, PLEASE!
Gordon fountain
On Fri, 27 Jun 1997 20:16:22 -0400, troja...@earthlink.net (Jerry)
wrote:
I love that line where Ralph has decided Lisa is his girlfriend.
Wiggum gives homer a ticket to try to coerce Lisa into going out with
his son.
Homer "You know some day people are going to strike out against bad
police like you"
Wiggum"Really, have they set a date?"
BTW: i'm sure you've all heard that a million times, but its still
funny :)
AlleyAllen
How about the episode when everyone is looking for Homer's mom? Wiggum is
looking at Homer's tombstone upside down and, speaking into his wallet
like a radio, says "Put out an APB for ustwes r. dewoh. Better start in
Greektown."
Gagos
Fighting crime is not my cup of tea
Mark Adams
Gagos wrote:
>
> Fighting crime is not my cup of tea
>
Wiggum: It's not illegal to send threatening letters in the mail.
Marge: I think it is.
Wiggum: (looking @ book) Well look at that, it is. It's also illegal to
put squirrells in your pants for purposes of gambling. (To other cops)
Okay, that's enough!!
Mark Adams :o-
dilbe...@hotmail.com
tlr...@psu.edu
from the episode where krusty fakes his death by crashing his plane
into a mountain:
"ok folks, go home, there's nothing to see here. . ."
(looks at wreckage)
"OH MY GOD! LOOK, A HORRIBLE PLANE CRASH!"
tom
David S. Lifton
Monorail:
"The ring came off this pudding can"
Lyle:"Take my penknife, my good man"
David Merrill in the Emerald City
Wiggum: "I like it... I like it a lot."
--
"To alcohol... the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems" -
H.S.
simon <si...@wezland.demon.co.uk> wrote in article
<MhZiqGAv...@wezland.demon.co.uk>...
> In article <5pnt64$a...@winter.erols.com>, "David S. Lifton"
> <dsl...@erols.com> writes
> "Right, when the kidnappers call tell them to leave the money under the
> big net."
> other cop- "and then we drop it on them?"
> wiggum- "Right.., good idea!" (or somthing like that)
> --
> simon
>