Brush with Greatness (capsule update)
Raymond Chen
to do with this file, ignore it'...]
To apply this patch:
First, you need to get Larry Wall's `patch(1)' program. It is
available from any comp.sources.unix archive (Volume 7), or from
jpl-devvax.jpl.nasa.gov[128.149.8.43]:pub/patch2.0. It has been ported
to all sorts of non-UNIX systems; check the standard archives. If you
don't have `patch', you must apply the patches by hand. Or just
grab a fresh copy of the final product from ftp.cs.widener.edu.
From `rn', say "| patch -p -N -d DIR" where DIR is the directory in
which you have kept the file 7f18. Outside of rn, say
"cd DIR; patch -p -N <thisarticle". If you did not strip the news
header from 7f18, you may need to increase the fuzz factor.
What has changed:
Some quote fixes and enhancements.
Scene-by-scene summary for our Aussie friends.
Timings.
And the usual lot of random stuff.
*** 7f18.old Sat Jun 29 10:22:48 1991
--- 7f18 Sun Jul 07 21:05:08 1991
***************
*** 1,3 ****
--- 1,18 ----
Brush with Greatness Written by Brian K. Roberts
+ Directed by Jim Reardon
===============================================================================
+ [$Id: 7f18 1.2 91/07/07 21:04:05 raymond Exp Locker: raymond $]
+ ===============================================================================
+ Title sequence
+ ===============================================================================
+ Blackboard :- `I will not hide behind the fifth / amendment'.
+ `I will not hide behind' at cutoff.
+
+ Driveway :- no oil on the driveway.
+ Homer does not shake his fist at Bart.
+ Homer says `D'oh!' when Lisa scoots past.
+
+ Couch: :- The couch tips over, and Maggie sits where the couch used to be.
+
+ ===============================================================================
Didja notice...
***************
*** 5,9 ****
- ... Homer yells `D'oh!' when Lisa cycled past in the intro?
- [Doesn't he usually yell `Aagh!'?]
... the water slide schematic looks like the human digestive system?
... the Picasso-style painting of Burns in the discard pile?
--- 20,23 ----
... the water slide schematic looks like the human digestive system?
+ ... Bart was eating left-handed?
... the Picasso-style painting of Burns in the discard pile?
***************
*** 28,29 ****
--- 42,60 ----
+ [rjc]
+ Here's the list of things that blocked the view of Mr. Burns'
+ privates:
+ the feather of a woman's hat
+ Burns' head
+ Marge's hairdo
+ Marge's head
+ Marge's hand
+ Marge's upper lip
+ Marge's wine glass
+ Dr. Hibert's wine glass
+ Smithers' head
+
+ And for those who weren't sure of Lisa's age, Marge says, ``Mr. Burns, it's
+ hard to discover your inner beauty while you're shouting at an eight-year-old
+ girl.''
+
===============================================================================
***************
*** 107,110 ****
===============================================================================
! Quotes
===============================================================================
--- 138,143 ----
===============================================================================
! Quotes (and quick scene summary for our friends Down Under so they can get
! more irate at Channel 10 when they chop it up beyond recognition)
===============================================================================
+ % The Krusty the Klown Show is on location at Mt. Splashmore.
***************
*** 119,120 ****
--- 152,156 ----
+ % Lisa and Bart are taken in.
+
+ Homer: [asleep on the couch, drool dripping out of his mouth]
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
***************
*** 125,126 ****
--- 161,163 ----
Homer: No!
+ [following Homer walking down the hallway]
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
***************
*** 131,132 ****
--- 168,170 ----
Homer: No.
+ [at the dinner table]
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
***************
*** 135,136 ****
--- 173,175 ----
Homer: No!
+ [as Homer watches television with a beer in his hand]
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
***************
*** 139,140 ****
--- 178,180 ----
Homer: No.
+ [as Homer takes a shower]
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
***************
*** 143,144 ****
--- 183,185 ----
Homer: NO!!!!
+ [as Homer tries to get some sleep]
Bart+Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
***************
*** 151,152 ****
--- 192,194 ----
Homer: NOOOOO!!!
+ [Marge pulls her pillow over her head]
If I take you will you two SHUT UP AND QUIT BUGGING ME!
***************
*** 160,161 ****
--- 202,207 ----
+ % Homer has trouble fitting into his swimsuit (which doesn't leave much to
+ % the imagination), nor does he find it easy to get into the car without
+ % his spare tire hitting the horn. When they arrive...
+
Everybody stick together. We don't want to get separ...
***************
*** 170,171 ****
--- 216,219 ----
+ % Bart is pleased that there is no line, but he's mistaken.
+
Bart: Okay, Lis. Turn on the water works, babe.
***************
*** 175,176 ****
--- 223,231 ----
+ % Lisa, then Bart go down. Marge watches Maggie in the kiddie pool.
+ % Homer gets to the front of the H2WHOA line by claiming to be the
+ % line inspector, and when he goes down, he gets stuck. One technician
+ % notes, ``It's too big to be human'' and tells the spotter to send
+ % down some kids to dislodge it. They don't, and the section of pipe
+ % has to be removed to get Homer out. The family watch the TV news.
+
Eyewitnesses estimate the man's weight at somewhere between four and
***************
*** 181,183 ****
Krusty: [surrounded by reporters]
! No, this ride is perfectly safe. This was an isolated incident.
Kent Brockman: I understand that Krusty... [lost in the reporters' yelling]
--- 236,238 ----
Krusty: [surrounded by reporters]
! No, this slide is perfectly safe. This was an isolated incident.
Kent Brockman: I understand that Krusty... [lost in the reporters' yelling]
***************
*** 185,187 ****
tainted `Krusty Brand Mayonnaise'?
! Krusty: Now kids, you know that Krusty did not [unintelligible].
This interview is over.
--- 240,242 ----
tainted `Krusty Brand Mayonnaise'?
! Krusty: Now kids, you know that Krusty did not [unintelligible]. [abounds?]
This interview is over.
***************
*** 196,197 ****
--- 251,254 ----
+ % Homer weighs himself.
+
Oh! Four hundred and thirty-seven... Fifty pounds?
***************
*** 203,204 ****
--- 260,265 ----
+ Marge: You do have big bones.
+ Homer: Marge, no one gains thirty pounds of bones!
+ -- Homer finds he weighs 260 pounds, ``Brush with Greatness''
+
I am going on a diet.
***************
*** 211,212 ****
--- 272,277 ----
+ % then his stomach growls. [End of Act 1. Time: 5:38]
+ %
+ % Homer takes Bart up to the attic, where Bart scares Homer with the lights.
+
Bart: Hey, Homer, I found your weights.
***************
*** 215,216 ****
--- 280,285 ----
+ % Bart stumbles across a large cache of paintings of Ringo Starr, signed
+ % by `Marge B.', one of which depicts Ringo and Marge getting married.
+ % Homer confronts Marge.
+
Marge: Oh Homer, don't be jealous. I was a schoolgirl.
***************
*** 221,222 ****
--- 290,293 ----
+ % At dinner...
+
Oh, why did I have to start my diet on pork chop night?
***************
*** 224,225 ****
--- 295,301 ----
+ % Marge gives Homer steamed vegetables and rice cakes.
+
+ Hey, I've been setting my drinks on these things!
+ -- Homer admires a rice cake, ``Brush with Greatness''
+
Hello! Hello! Hello, taste? Where are you?
***************
*** 227,228 ****
--- 303,306 ----
+ % Marge suggests Homer could put something on it for flavor.
+
Hey Mom, these paintings are good.
***************
*** 233,236 ****
I've just enrolled in the screenwriting class.
! I yearn to tell the story of an idealist young Hindu,
pushed too far by convenience store bandits.
--- 311,328 ----
+ % Marge tells her story of how Mr. Schindler scolded her for drawing Ringo,
+ % and how she sent Ringo a picture of him for an honest opinion. But she
+ % never got any response and never painted again.
+
+ Lisa: Maybe you could take a class at Springfield Community College.
+ Marge: I think it's a very nice idea. Don't you, Homer?
+ Homer: Do I have to do anything?
+ Marge: No.
+ Homer: Great! Fine! Go nuts!
+ -- A loving, supportive husband, ``Brush with Greatness''
+
+ % Homer takes his rice cake out of the microwave, loaded with goodies.
+ % ``Mm. Only 35 calories.'' At SCC...
+
I've just enrolled in the screenwriting class.
! I yearn to tell the story of an idealistic young Hindu,
pushed too far by convenience store bandits.
***************
*** 239,240 ****
--- 331,342 ----
+ % With Lisa's moral support, Marge shows Prof. Lombardo her portfolio
+ % and he lets her enrol in the painting class.
+
+ Marvelous!
+ -- Prof. Lombardo sees a handyman paint the handrail, ``Brush with Greatness''
+
+ % Homer is wearing weights on his wrists and ankles, and he can't move.
+ % Bart takes advantage of the situation and takes Homer's wallet. Back
+ % at SCC...
+
Now, using the Lombardo method, you learn to see everyday objects
***************
*** 245,246 ****
--- 347,353 ----
+ % Homer tries to lift weights, he skips rope with Bart and Lisa (as Marge
+ % `visualizes' him geometrically), and he tries a second time to lift
+ % weights, and suceeds after all the weights fall off and he raises just the
+ % bar. At SCC...
+
Bravo! Walk away from it. Now it belongs to the ages.
***************
*** 250,251 ****
--- 357,371 ----
+ % Prof. Lombardo is very impressed with Marge's work and enters her `Bald
+ % Adonis' in the Springfield Art Exhibition.
+
+ Marge, please, I don't take praise very well!
+ [sees a sign painter]
+ Oh! Another triumph!
+ -- Prof. Lombardo, ``Brush with Greatness''
+
+ % At the art show, Marge wins first prize. At the power plant, Burns
+ % bawls out yet another artist hired to paint his portrait for the
+ % opening of the Burns Wing of the museum. Smithers discards the painting
+ % into a room filled with other failed paintings.
+
Damnation, Smithers. This idea of yours to immortalize me in a portrait
***************
*** 254,255 ****
--- 374,377 ----
+ % Smithers notes that Burns has alienated every artist in town. Then suggests
+
Smithers: Mrs. Homer Simpson.
***************
*** 267,268 ****
--- 389,395 ----
+ % [End of Act 2. Time: 11:41]
+ %
+ % Homer weighs himself again (again with a shake scale), and he weighs 249.
+ % He comes down and announces it to the family.
+
Marge: That's wonderful, isn't it kids?
***************
*** 275,278 ****
Donut man: Hey, what gives? These donuts are piling up.
! Worker: Heh. Yeah, Homer Simpson went on a diet.
Donut man: Oh my God. And I just bought a boat! [slaps forehead]
--- 402,407 ----
+ % At the plant...
+
Donut man: Hey, what gives? These donuts are piling up.
! Worker: Heh. Yeah, Homer Simpson went on a diet.
Donut man: Oh my God. And I just bought a boat! [slaps forehead]
***************
*** 280,283 ****
Smithers: Have you ever painted the rich and powerful?
! Marge: I don't know. Just Ringo Starr.
Burns: Ring-Go?
--- 409,415 ----
+ % Burns struggles to rap the knocker on the Simpsons' door, and Smithers
+ % bangs on the door until Marge answers. They invite themselves in.
+
Smithers: Have you ever painted the rich and powerful?
! Marge: Well, no. Just Ringo Starr.
Burns: Ring-Go?
***************
*** 286,288 ****
Burns: Beatles, eh? Oh, yes. I seem to remember their off-key
! caterwauling on the old Sullivan show. What was Ed thinking?
-- Burns commissions Marge to paint his portrait, ``Brush with Greatness''
--- 418,420 ----
Burns: Beatles, eh? Oh, yes. I seem to remember their off-key
! caterwauling on the old Sullivan show. What <was> Ed thinking?
-- Burns commissions Marge to paint his portrait, ``Brush with Greatness''
***************
*** 289,290 ****
--- 421,425 ----
+ % Burns requires that Marge make him look beautiful, and she agrees.
+ % Posing for the portrait...
+
Smithers: Ah, sir. At least the world will see you as I always have.
***************
*** 293,294 ****
--- 428,433 ----
+ % Homer arrives home and panics when he sees Burns. He takes Marge into
+ % the kitchen and begs her to make him look handsome. Marge assures Homer
+ % that all she needs to do is find his inner beauty. She returns to work.
+
Marge: What were you like as a boy, Mr. Burns?
***************
*** 298,299 ****
--- 437,439 ----
Marge: Mr. Burns, she's just a baby.
+ Maggie: [suck suck suck]
-- Trying to find Mr. Burns' `inner beauty', ``Brush with Greatness''
***************
*** 306,307 ****
--- 446,455 ----
+ % While collecting laundry, Marge accidentally bursts in on Burns
+ % naked in the bathroom. She backs out, apologetically.
+
+ Bart: Hey Mom, did he have those spots all over his body?
+ Burns: [opens the door] I heard that.
+ -- Marge accidentally bursts in on Burns (naked) in the bathroom,
+ ``Brush with Greatness''
+
Smithers: Would you feel more comfortable if I left, too, sir?
***************
*** 310,311 ****
--- 458,461 ----
+ % In the kitchen...
+
Burns: [off camera] Smithers! I want my tea!
***************
*** 312,314 ****
Marge: Doesn't it bother you that he orders you around like that?
! Smithers: Oh ho ho. Actually, I value every second that we're together.
From the moment I squeeze his orange juice in the morning,
--- 462,464 ----
Marge: Doesn't it bother you that he orders you around like that?
! Smithers: Oh ho ho. Actually, I value every second we're together.
From the moment I squeeze his orange juice in the morning,
***************
*** 320,321 ****
--- 470,474 ----
+ % Meanwhile, somewhere in England... Ringo is surrounded by bags of
+ % mail with the word `mail' on them, in various languages.
+
Dear Sally. In response to you letter of December the 12th 1966,
***************
*** 323,325 ****
Thanks for the snapshot. You're a real cute bird. Love, Ringo.
! PS: Forgive the lateness of the reply.
-- Ringo Starr answering his backlogged fan mail, ``Brush with Greatness''
--- 476,478 ----
Thanks for the snapshot. You're a real cute bird. Love, Ringo.
! PS: Forgive the lateness of my reply.
-- Ringo Starr answering his backlogged fan mail, ``Brush with Greatness''
***************
*** 326,327 ****
--- 479,487 ----
+ % Ringo explains to his butler that he insists on responding to every
+ % single piece of fan mail. The next letter is Marge's painting.
+
+ % Meanwhile, back in Springfield... Burns snaps at Lisa's saxophone
+ % playing. He tells Marge to shut up and paint. Homer steps onto
+ % the scale, and he's 239 pounds.
+
Look! I'm using the original notches that came with my belt!
***************
*** 329,330 ****
--- 489,499 ----
+ % Burns tells Homer he's the fattest man he's ever seen.
+
+ If you need me, I'll be in the refrigerator. [leaves, crying]
+ --Homer reacts to Burns' insulting his weight, ``Brush with Greatness''
+
+ % Marge sends Burns away, then stops Homer from spraying whipped cream
+ % directly into his mouth. Marge has lost faith in her painting
+ % ability. A letter comes in for Marge...
+
Dear Marge. Thanks for the fab painting of Yours Truly. I hung
***************
*** 332,334 ****
yes, we do have hamburgers and fries in England. But we call French
! fries `chips'. Love, Ringo. PS: Forgive the lateness of the reply.
-- Ringo Starr answering his backlogged fan mail, ``Brush with Greatness''
--- 501,503 ----
yes, we do have hamburgers and fries in England. But we call French
! fries `chips'. Love, Ringo. PS: Forgive the lateness of my reply.
-- Ringo Starr answering his backlogged fan mail, ``Brush with Greatness''
***************
*** 335,336 ****
--- 504,511 ----
+ % Homer tells Marge she can do it, and she sets to work. Marge paints
+ % with Homer, Lisa, and Maggie watching. Later, Homer has left, and Lisa
+ % and Maggie look sleepy. Even later, Lisa has gone, and Maggie is asleep
+ % on the floor. Marge gets inspired and starts on a fresh canvas. At
+ % the museum...
+
Friends, art lovers, security personnel...
***************
*** 339,340 ****
--- 514,518 ----
+ % The painting is unveiled, and it depicts Burns, naked. All are shocked
+ % at first, but Marge gives a touching speech.
+
He's bad, but he'll die. So I like it.
***************
*** 348,349 ****
--- 526,529 ----
-- On Marge's portrait of Mr. Burns, ``Brush with Greatness''
+
+ % [End of Act 3. Time: 20:07]
===============================================================================
James D Dolan
ray...@math.berkeley.edu (Raymond Chen) writes...
> tainted `Krusty Brand Mayonnaise'?
>! Krusty: Now kids, you know that Krusty did not [unintelligible]. [abounds?]
> This interview is over.
IT'S PRETTY CLEAR THAT KRUSTY SAYS "...YOU KNOW THAT QUESTION IS OUT OF BOUNDS"
OR SOMETHING VERY MUCH LIKE THAT.
JAMES DOLAN V088...@UBVMS.CC.BUFFALO.EDU
Sean Graves
Hey James - No need to shout, man.
Sean
--
Sean Graves
se...@cs.tamu.edu
Texas A&M University Dept. of Computer Science
Raymond Chen
>In article <1991Jul8.0...@agate.berkeley.edu>,
> ray...@math.berkeley.edu (Raymond Chen) writes...
WELL IF IT'S SO CLEAR, THEN HOW COME NOBODY CORRECTED MY ERROR FOR NEARLY
THREE MONTHS?
--
Raymond `Doc, I heard a snap'[7F06] Chen
Jym Dyer
>> OUT OF BOUNDS"
> WELL IF IT'S SO CLEAR, THEN HOW COME NOBODY CORRECTED MY ERROR
> FOR NEARLY THREE MONTHS?
MAYBE SOMEBODY DID, BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR THEM BECAUSE THEY
NEGLECTED TO SHOUT! .-. .-.
<_JYM_> / / / /
|\/\/\/| / / / /
::| |::: JYM DYER ::::::: J...@MICA.BERKELEY.EDU ::/ / / /::
::| (O)(O):::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::(O)(O) /:::
::C _):::: ANNOYING REPUBLICANS SINCE 1960 :::::O___ /::::
:::| `-__|::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::UUUO (:::::
Gary Bisaga
something interesting I hadn't seen before and hadn't seen mentioned. Right
before Burns insults Homer's new reduced waistline, Homer is shown standing
in front of the staircase and two pictures are shown on the wall behind him.
One appears to be a baby picture of Bart, on all fours but with the same
spike hair. The other appears to be a female ancestor of Marge's, looking
just like Marge; she had blue hair done up like Marge's (and her mother's)
current style, except it didn't go up nearly as far - more of an afro with
a little peak on the top. It was in a little ellipsical frame. The picture
appears to be from the early part of the 20th century because the dress she
is wearing has mutton sleeves (those big puffy shoulder/sleeve units that they
wore back then). But the picture was in color (you can see the hair is blue).
They probably would not have given the woman that type of dress unless they
were attempting to portray a picture from, say, the 20's, so I say the picture
should have been B/W. What does everybody else say?
Innovative Data Design
"But the picture was in color (you can see the hair is blue).
They probably would not have given the woman that type of dress unless they
were attempting to portray a picture from, say, the 20's, so I say the picture
should have been B/W."
I'd say that the picture was hand-tinted, and that maybe if you look real
close, i washed-out compared to the stuff around it.
Angus MacDonald; idd...@well.sf.ca.us
Opinions expressed in this message are solely my own.