Bart's calls to Moe's Tavern
Nate McConnell
I'll like to get as many of these as I can. Post the ones you
remember. Here are mine:
Hugh Jass(he was in the bar)
Amanda Hugankiss
Al Koholic
Thanks,
Nate
Gerald Prentice
: Hugh Jass(he was in the bar)
: Amanda Hugankiss
: Al Koholic
Mike Rotch
_____________________________________________________________
Gerry Prentice | Email: gpre...@uoguelph.ca
Biological Chemistry (Student)| Univ. of Guelph, Ont. Canada
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marc MacNair
Nate,
Homer-sexual
Marc :>
Graham Freeman
> Amanda Hugankiss
> Al Koholic
Homer Sexual
Graham :-)
CHRIS MICH GEORGOULIAS
In article <2lo5b6$o...@dr-pepper.East.Sun.COM>, na...@guiron.East.Sun.COM (Nate McConnell) writes:
|>
|>I'll like to get as many of these as I can. Post the ones you
|>remember. Here are mine:
So do you guys know about the Tube Bar recordings? Obviously where the
writers got the idea for Bart to call Moe.
The owner's name is Red. Here's a list that I had laying around. Taken
from 2 different Tube Bar cd's that have been so ever graciously pressed.
These calls are at least 20 years old. Enjoy.....
Each line corresponds to a different call, the name asked for, and
some general reactions.......
They may be a bit difficult to follow if you've never heard them, but
I don't feel like editing this thing...... (sorry :^)
Oh, one last thing. It's just a coincidence that my .sig this week
reflects on the Tube Bar :^)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
CD #1:
------
froggys brother/jackie monticello/got 5 guys lined up for your mother
al depantsyou/dog? barks (we cant tell WHAT that noise is)
mike hunt/joe mama
ben dibananna
alcoholic/phone gets dropped
phil degrave (twice)/two zoots outta ya/are you a fucking nut??
**cussing starts now**
kids voice-where's my father?
break your face motherfucker/your mother sucked my prick
wanna havi it out?/cut your belly open/fuck you mother for a nickel
ima doomie
(caller makes plane sound till phone's answered) Hugh Douche
dug your mother up and fucked her skeleton/you suck a cunt
joe there? joe's not here/red's in background cussing coming to phone
lady's voice-al kaseltzer
kids voice-my father there?
why do you always yell at me?
jackie palmer calling/stu peit
taunting baby talk
Bill Loney
Cole Kutz/ anybody named kutz? K-T-Z kutz?
is Red there?/ sla lami/ i'll see ya later
pepe roni
benny from steam room bar/ hal jalikakik
al nockerup (Al asks first, then Red)
Phil mypocketz
why'd ya hang up on me?/black stuff in your belly/cut your throat
why ya always fighting?/see me face to face/ i'll come see you
I know who you are/friends gave you away/put the ZZ on both cheeks
the ZZ? the ZZ?/may god bless you when I do
how'd ya like to be mutilated?/you've been bragging to your friends
you know how you make a Z? both cheeks you'll have it
al brekyurnek/al al/ al alurbank?/ i'll kill you, you bastard
stu peit/ my name is red/come down and i'll cut your belly open
tom, do you have pigs feet?
(reds house) this is bob marino/get down here the bar's on fire
CD #2:
------
2 Tracks, Red part I and part II.
Red, part I :
1. "Is Tim there?"/"I'm not open yet, my friend."
2. Al Coholic (not the same as yours)
3. Phil Myass
4. Al Killeu/Stan Depayne/"Have a little moxie and show me your face!"
5. Joe Dildoe
6. Ben Dover/"Why don't you bend over so I can fuck ya?"
7. Hello?/Fuck you!/"Red sucks!"said by guy about 20 times while Red is cussing.
8. Mutilated/"Find out how those...Z..."
9. (small boy voice) "Suck my prick?"/(Red) "Sure, come on over."
10. "Hello Red? Why don't you stick your tongue up my ass?"
11. Stu Peit/small boy voice taunting
12. Phil Lacio/"Is Connie there? A girl."/No girls come in here./Suck my prick!
13. Ben DiBanana
14. Jim Nasium
15. Phil Degrave/Red goes nutz/"I'll put 2 zigs on both cheeks!"
16. small boy "Where's my father?"
17. Fuck your mother for a nickel.
18. Break your face open/"Your mother sucked my prick the other day."
19. "I'll put the ZZ on both cheeks of your life!"
20. "The ZZ's?" "The ZZ's?"
21. Mike Unstinks
22. Clint Toris
23. Izzy Cumming
24. Willie Fagger/"I'll blind ya!"
25. "You cocksucker! I'm comin down for you!"
26. Al Kickyourass/"I'll kick _your_ ass!"
27. Connie Lingus
28. "Red? I fucked your mother! You know that?"/"I'll break them bones..."
29. "Get that $100 ready buddy...I'm comin down."
30. "Is Peter there?"/"Why don't you go fuck yourself!"
31. Mike Hunt
32. "Red there? This is Rufus"/guy cracks up/Red sounds like he's gonna cry
33. "We dug your mother up and fucked her."
34. Willie Facker/"Your friends squealed on you."
35. "I was just down there looking for ya!"/"Every bone in your body..."
36. sped up song : "We are the guys who fucked your mother last night!"
Red : "Why don't you put it in your stomach and get cancer?"
37. sped up voice : "I fucked your mother, Red!"
38. sped up voice singing : "We fucked your mother, we fucked your mother..."
Red, part II (The Sequel! *grin*) :
1. Frank Enstein
2. Mike Ockhurtz
3. "I'll punch you right in the mouth!"
4. "Yeah, lemme speak to Red! Red? You suck, you motherfucker!"
5. Sid Down
6. Stan Dup
7. "Red, I know who the guys are that's bothering you."/Red laughs
8. Al Kaseltzer
9. Bob Marino/"The bar's on fire!"
10. Bill Loney
11. Kutz/K T Z Kutz/Cole Kutz
12. Sal Lami
13. Pepe Roni
14. Benny from the Steam Room/Hal Jalikakik
15. Mike Ocksmall
16. "Yes, this is Cuntinental Insurance calling..."
17. "Is Huey there?"/"Is this Red? Are you the fucking guy that's a wise guy?"
18. "Red, I wanna make a deal with you. _Five_ dollars, I'll kick your ass.
Not five-hundred..._five_ dollars."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-chris
======================================================================
+ Chris Georgoulias | "Is anybody's name Mike Untstinks?" +
+ N.C. State University | "Mike Untstinks!!" +
+ cmg...@eos.ncsu.edu | -Red, The Tube Bar +
======================================================================
Denizen of the Deep
Ivana Tinkle ("Put your glasses down, Ivana Tinkle")
Jacques Strap
Oliver Clothesoff
-Jon
Lydia Kulbida
How about when the daughter from Roseanne was a guest as the new neighbor and
at the end she called for "Ivanna Tinkle."
Bucky Whaley
>I'll like to get as many of these as I can. Post the ones you
The Wrath of Moe
[# == from list o' pranks in El Bairdo's FAQ]
#3.8) What phone pranks has Bart used on Moe of Moe's Tavern?
#
# 7G03: Hey, everybody, I. P. Freeley!
Listen to me, you lousy bum. When I get a hold of
you, you're dead. I swear I'm gonna slice your heart
in half.
# 7G06: Hey, guys, I'm lookin' for a Jacques Strap.
It's you, isn't it, you cowardly little runt. When I
get a hold of you, I am gonna gut you like a fish
and drink your blood.
# 7G01: Is there an Al Coholic here? ... and ...
Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass [?].
If I ever find out who you are, I'll kill you.
# I wanna see Oliver Kloushoff.
[no response from Moe]
# 7F11: I wanna Seymour Butts.
Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket. When I
get my hands on you, I'm gonna poke out your eyeballs
with a corkscrew.
# 7F15: C'mon, one o' you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual.
You rotten little punk. If I ever get a hold of you,
I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face
off.
# 7F22: Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Listen to me, you little puke. One of these days I'm
gonna catch you and I'm gonna carve my name on your
butt with an icepick.
# 8F08: Somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!
[no response from Moe because Hugh Jass takes the call]
# 8F09: Come on guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here?
Listen, you. When I get a hold of you I'm gonna use
your head for a bucket and paint my house with your
brains.
# 9F06: Why can't I find Amanda Hugginkiss? ... and ...
You little s.o.b. If I ever find out who you are,
I'm gonna shove a sausage down your throat and
stick starving dogs in your butt.
# Hey, everybody, put down your glasses. Ivana Tinkle!
[no response from Moe]
Bucky "Bartenders Do It 'Til You Barf" Whaley
--
satan's little helper "It's funny because it's true."
sowh...@ecuvm.cis.ecu.edu - Homer [7F13], Fat Tony [8F03]
Brian Bringardner
: I'll like to get as many of these as I can. Post the ones you
: remember. Here are mine:
I.P. Freely
Seymore Butts
Mike Hunt
Marlon Shows
Can we get a complete list?
If some one has one,
can I get it e-mail?
Thanx
Nick J Worthey
Moe's T.. by Brian Bringardner@lclark
> : remember. Here are mine:
>
> : Hugh Jass(he was in the bar)
> : Amanda Hugankiss
> : Al Koholic
>
> I.P. Freely
> Seymore Butts
> Mike Hunt
Somehow I doubt that Bart ever used the "Mike Hunt" one. I think it's a
bit too off-color for the Simpsons. What could Moe say? "Where's Mike
Hunt? Hey everyone, I'm looking for Mike Hunt!" Plus I don't remember
it and I've watched most of the episodes at least 15 times each.
--
Nick
Rakesh Agrawal
>Somehow I doubt that Bart ever used the "Mike Hunt" one. I think it's a
>bit too off-color for the Simpsons. What could Moe say? "Where's Mike
>Hunt? Hey everyone, I'm looking for Mike Hunt!" Plus I don't remember
>it and I've watched most of the episodes at least 15 times each.
This was in one of the Porky's movies... Maybe the original author is
confusing them.
--
Rocky Agrawal | I've been to Hell, and I've been to
ragr...@merle.acns.nwu.edu | Paradise. And we're a lot closer to Hell
Medill School of Journalism | than to Paradise.*
Evanston, IL | * Except OR and WA.
00tds...@leo.bsuvc.bsu.edu
There were also:
I. P. Freely
Oliver Clothesoff
Jacques Strap
Trav
Steven Koukoulas
: >Somehow I doubt that Bart ever used the "Mike Hunt" one. I think it's a
: >bit too off-color for the Simpsons. What could Moe say? "Where's Mike
: >Hunt? Hey everyone, I'm looking for Mike Hunt!" Plus I don't remember
: >it and I've watched most of the episodes at least 15 times each.
I heard of one from sweden that went something like this...
Haywood Jablowme.
Seems pretty un-cartoonish in the language area for me...
Steve
--
*-----------------------------------------------------------------------*
| Steven Koukoulas KOUK...@LATCS1.LATROBE.EDU.AU | "You don't |
+-------------------------------------------------------| understand |
| Pioneer PD-M450 6 Stack CD Player | the power of |
CHRIS MICH GEORGOULIAS
In article <ragrawal.763542055@merle>, ragr...@merle.acns.nwu.edu (Rakesh Agrawal) writes:
|>
|>>Somehow I doubt that Bart ever used the "Mike Hunt" one. I think it's a
|>>bit too off-color for the Simpsons. What could Moe say? "Where's Mike
|>>Hunt? Hey everyone, I'm looking for Mike Hunt!" Plus I don't remember
|>>it and I've watched most of the episodes at least 15 times each.
Mike Hunt was one of the calls to the Tube Bar. Where the Simpsons writers
obviously got the idea for Bart to call. Here's a list of the calls I've
had laying around. I have 2 cd's of this stuff.
Each separate call is listed. As well as the response from Red (the owner).
They may be hard to read if you've never heard it, but I don't feel like
editing them. Sorry. This stuff is 20 years old BTW.
Oh, and it's quite a coincidence that on this go round my .sig reflects the
beauty of these calls....... :^)
Enjoy!
--------------------------------------------
CD #1:
------
1. froggys brother/jackie monticello/got 5 guys lined up for your mother
2. al depantsyou/dog? barks (we cant tell WHAT that noise is)
3. mike hunt/joe mama
4. ben dibananna
5. al coholic/phone gets dropped
6. phil degrave (twice)/two zoots outta ya/are you a fucking nut??
**cussing starts now**
7. kids voice-where's my father?
8. break your face motherfucker/your mother sucked my prick
9. wanna have it out?/cut your belly open/fuck you mother for a nickel
10. ima doomie
11. (caller makes plane sound till phone's answered) Hugh Douche
12. dug your mother up and fucked her skeleton/you suck a cunt
13. joe there? joe's not here/red's in background cussing coming to phone
14. lady's voice-al kaseltzer
15. kids voice-my father there?
16. why do you always yell at me?
17. jackie palmer calling/stu peit
18. taunting baby talk
19. Bill Loney
20. Cole Kutz/ anybody named kutz? K-T-Z kutz?
21. is Red there?/ sal lami/ i'll see ya later
22. pepe roni
23. benny from steam room bar/ hal jalikakik
24. al nockerup (Al asks first, then Red)
25. Phil mypocketz
26. why'd ya hang up on me?/black stuff in your belly/cut your throat
27. why ya always fighting?/see me face to face/ i'll come see you
28. I know who you are/friends gave you away/put the ZZ on both cheeks
29. the ZZ? the ZZ?/may god bless you when I do
30. how'd ya like to be mutilated?/you've been bragging to your friends
31. you know how you make a Z? both cheeks you'll have it
32. al brekyurnek/al al/ al alurbank?/ i'll kill you, you bastard
33. stu peit/ my name is red/come down and i'll cut your belly open
33. tom, do you have pigs feet?
34. (reds house) this is bob marino/get down here the bar's on fire
CD #2:
------
Red, part I:
-------------------------------------------------------
-chris
Tom Akin
"I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells
and I like to kiss my own butt" - Simpson's Halloween special's Moe's
Tavern call, the year I'm not sure of but it had the monkey's paw and
Bart the monster in it.
Nick J Worthey
Moe's T.. by Roy Ke...@labyrinth.apana
> Amanda Danswith
> Hugh Garse
Thats "Amanda Hugankiss" and "Hugh Jass"
--
Nick
RobertK168
<nw...@andrew.cmu.edu> writes:
>Thats "Amanda Hugankiss" and "Hugh Jass"
I read an article several years ago in the Philadelphia City Paper
that discussed how Bart's calls to Moe were inspired by a tape of
prank calls to the Tube Bar in New Jersey (either Hoboken or Jersey
City, I'm pretty sure it was Hoboken). This tape had apparently
circulated across the country, and the article listed an address to
order a copy of the tape. Of course I procrastinated in ordering.
This series of posts reminded me of the article. Does anyone out
there know about this tape? Is it still available? (I THINK I
had the good sense to save the article, though, so if anyone wants
more info, let me know)
Sea Otter
>I read an article several years ago in the Philadelphia City Paper
>that discussed how Bart's calls to Moe were inspired by a tape of
>prank calls to the Tube Bar in New Jersey (either Hoboken or Jersey
>City, I'm pretty sure it was Hoboken).
There was a LA Times article a year or two ago in which Matt Groening
praised the Tube Bar tapes but denied modeling Bart's calls on them. He
called it "creative convergence" or something. They are certainly very
similar, though.
Mean Mister Mustard
PEPE RONI! PEPE RONI! IS THERE A PEPE RONI IN HERE?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
...oh, man, that stuff is funny... I don't know if the Tube Bar calls
inspired Bart's calls or not, but they're both great. Any Simpsons fans
would like the prank tape.
Marc
"Where's my fadda?"
RobertK168
(Mean Mister Mustard) writes:
>...oh, man, that stuff is funny... I don't know if the Tube Bar
calls
>inspired Bart's calls or not, but they're both great. Any Simpsons
fans
>would like the prank tape.
I found the article I mentioned in my original post. Unfortunately,
it was written in 1991 and offered a Tube Bar *LP* from "Teen Beat"
(!) Does anyone have info on purchasing a *tape*?
0018...@ysub.ysu.edu
amanda hugandkiss??
oh, why can't i find amanda huginkiss????
hee hee
-adolfo
Marlon Shows
We need a list of these.
Is the FAQ almost complete?
|>
--
Marlon Shows
ABMB000
>.
Iwana Wee
Mike Croch
MIROSLAV BELIK E-MAIL M.B...@UWS.EDU.AU
UNIVERSITY WESTERN SYDNEY, MACARTHUR. TEL. 61-46-203-520
FAC. BUS. & TECH. FAX. 61-46-266-683
P.O. BOX 555, CAMPBELLTOWN
NSW 2560
AUSTRALIA
Brandon Hunt
B: May I speak with Homer?
M: Homer who?!
B: Err Homer Sexual
M: I'm looking for a Homer Sexual, come on, sombody here has to be Homer Sexual.
Not the all time funniest call, but still worth remembering.
*******************************************************************************
Brandon Hunt * "At least that's what I thought. I have a history of
bgh...@delphi.com * missing the point of stuff like this." Homer S.
RobertTM
<bgh...@delphi.com> writes:
re: Bart's calls.
Has Groenig / FOX caved into pressure. Have you noticed that Bart
doesn't make these calls anymore?