[repost/long] Capsule: Brother's Little Helper (AABF22)
Benjamin Robinson
reruns? Both "King of the Hill" and "The Simpsons" dealt with kids,
hyperactivity, and Ritalin (or stand-ins like Focusyn).
Speaking of "Brother's Little Helper (AABF22)," I've just updated the capsule,
making it the first capsule updated for the 2000s. Ooh ... it's the capsule of
the future. The updated capsule includes one additional FFF and reference, plus
the reactions of Capel Clegg's "original vision" post. You can also see the new
verision at The Simpsons Archive at <http://www.snpp.com/episodes.html> --
simply follow the AABF22 link.
(No, I don't have the capsule for "E-I-E-I-D'oh! (AABF19)" done yet. We're, uh,
testing it for Y2K compliance.)
And now, the capsule.
Brother's Little Helper Written by George Meyer
Directed by Mark Kirkland
==============================================================================
Production code: AABF22 Original Airdate on FOX: 3-Oct-99
Capsule revision B (2-Jan-00)
==============================================================================
> "TV Guide" Synopsis
==============================================================================
None submitted.
[If you use these summaries to determine if you found the right capsule,
here's a TV Guide-like synopsis: Young Bart is diagnosed with Attention
Deficit Disorder (ADD) and given an experimental medicine. The drug works
wonders -- until the side effects kick in. Mark McGwire guest-stars. --
Ed.]
==============================================================================
> Title sequence
==============================================================================
Blackboard: PORK IS NOT A VERB
Couch: Everybody is white with "paint by numbers" numbers; artists
come in and add the colors {ddg}
==============================================================================
> Did You Notice...
==============================================================================
... the animators in the couch gag don't outline Marge and Homer's eyes?
... Springfield Elementary's gym is now in a separate building?
Don Del Grande:
... when Ned rolled on the wooden stage with his burning pants, the stage
didn't catch fire?
... the "cone of ignorance" looks like a 3-D representation of a black
hole?
... Bart has reading "half-glasses" like Homer's?
... when Homer makes his organizer say "Wassamatta you?", the screen says
"What is wrong with you?" and "What is your problem?"?
Yuri Dieujuste:
... Lou's tongue sticking out while making the bad sketch of Bart?
... Nelson doesn't have his collar when talking to Bart when he was driving
the tank?
Richard Green:
... the staff of the volunteer firefighters has changed a bit? Apu is the
only member who remains from 9F01, and Ned, Maude, Moe, and Kirk have
joined (Luanne used to be a member) [But see Jeremy Reaban's DYN --
Ed.]
... there was a cameraman at the Hosey the Bear cabin?
... Nelson was watching a NC17 movie?
... two of the "three amigos" are in the shape of the Red Cross logo and
the theatre mask logo?
... there are guns in the Fort Fragg bathroom?
... Bart drives by 742 Evergreen Terrace in the bird-eye view shot?
Alan Hamilton:
... the color-by-number painters look Korean (where The Simpsons' animation
is done)?
Tony Hill:
... Homer looks like Mr. Sparkle when he's hepped up on Focusyn?
... the vending machine holds nine varieties?
... Maggie is garbed in white as Lisa holds her on the front steps?
... the tank has a standard key not unlike that for a file cabinet?
... Bart crushes a pink VW beetle? [Car Watch! -- Ed.]
... this baseball-themed ep debuted on the last day of the regular
[baseball] season?
John Jensen:
... the chick from the Pharm Team is the same voice as the one from the
cell phone company in "Make Room For Lisa"
Darrel Jones:
... Skinner's punching bag looks like Bozo the Clown?
... Homer does several "Bart Twitches" during his taffy-induced "dance"?
... Homer and Marge actually ENJOYED "Showgirls"? (That makes two of us
...)
... Bart's sombrero says "Old Mexico"? (Did he get it during the trip to
Tijuana in [8F24]?)
Joe Klemm:
... among the poetry studied in class is poetry by Jewel?
... Nelson appears to be cutting school the day Bart steals a tank?
Patrick McGovern:
... Marcia Gaven's name appears in the credits (I believe this is the first
time)? [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.]
Tom R.:
... the episode was broadcast the week of "Fire Prevention Week"?
Jeremy Reaban:
... Sherri and Terri are in the fire engine at the beginning of the
episode?
... the members of the fire department seem to be the same ones from Homer
the Heretic (Moe, Apu, Ned, Millhouse's Mom, Skinner, etc)? [But see
Richard Green's DYN - Ed.]
... the guy in the bear suit shakes like a real bear after getting wet?
Benjamin Robinson:
... pork really is a verb? (See "Personal Comments & Observations" for
more)
Evan Ross:
... the accidents on the chart behind Homer, Lenny, and Carl grow rapidly?
... Homer wears brown socks?
... you can see the pockets in Homer's cutoffs?
Dave Sibley:
... how tolerant of gay people Homer was?
Alexander Woods:
... that Bart's eyes were kind of evil looking the entire episode (like
Hubert's eyes in the Halloween special 3 years ago)?
==============================================================================
> Voice Credits
==============================================================================
- Starring
- Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Willie, Krusty, Abe, Sideshow Mel)
- Julie Kavner (Marge)
- Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Ralph, Todd, Nelson)
- Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
- Hank Azaria (Moe, Apu, Pharm. 1, Carl, Homer's organizer, Dr. Riviera,
Soldier 2, Comic Book Guy, Lord Widebottom, Chief Wiggum, Lou)
- Harry Shearer (Principal Skinner, Ned Flanders, Tech, Lenny, Show guy,
Stage manager, Dr. Hibbert, Capt. McAllister, Soldier 1, Burns,
Smithers, Otto, Lovejoy, Computer)
- Special Guest Voice
- Marcia Wallace (Edna Krabappel)
- Mark McGwire (Himself)
- Also Starring
- Marcia Mitzman-Gaven (Maude Flanders (some lines))
- Pamela Hayden (Milhouse, Rod, Jimbo)
- Tress MacNeille (Pharm. 2, Showgirl)
- Maggie Roswell (Maude Flanders (some lines))
- Russi Taylor (Martin, Sherri)
- Karl Wiedergott (Hosey the Bear)
==============================================================================
> Movie (and other) references
==============================================================================
+ Ritalin (prescription drug)
- entire episode being a bash on Ritalin, and mind-controlling drugs
{eef}
- most of the [side-effects] in the show, are really side effects of
various behavior modification drugs {jr}
+ "Mother's Little Helper" (song)
- "Brother's Little Helper" spoofs the title of this Rolling Stones song
(appropriate, since the song was about using mood-altering
prescription drugs to get through the day)
+ "Disco Inferno" by The Trampps (song) {jg}
- "Learn, Baby, Learn!" banner at school (cf. "Burn, baby, burn!")
+ Smokey the Bear (fire safety mascot)
- Hosey the Bear an obvious spoof
+ Vietnam conflict {hl}
- Skinner's remark about fire "raining down on Charlie" is a reference
to napalm
~ "The Black Hole" (movie) {jk}
- Skinner's 3D model of how Bart affects the other kids' grades.
+ farm team (sports slang) {bjr}
- pharmaceutical company named "The Pharm Team"
- the Guggenheim Museum {jg}
- the Pharm Team building resembles this Frank Lloyd Wright building
+ A Clockwork Orange (book and movie) {jk}
- Nelson with a shock collar getting shocked for every sexual thought he
thinks
- [I don't think Alec from "Clockwork" had a shock collar, but he was
conditioned to react badly to sexual and violent thoughts -- Ed.]
+ "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" (book)
- "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Preteens"
+ "Chicken Soup for the Soul" (book)
- Bart finds another version, "Chicken Soup for Losers"
+ MasterCard commercial
- Bart's line, "Cost of paper, 5 cents. Cost of a mother's love,
priceless," echoes dialogue from this ad
~ "No Charge" by Melba Montgomery (song) {db}
- a sugary country song, where a schmaltzy mother outlines the "charge"
for raising her whiny brat of a son using [similar] dialogue. It was
also covered in the UK in 1976 by J.J. Barrie and the US by Tammy
Wynette
- Rocky and Bullwinkle (animated TV show) {jr}
- Bullwinkle went to "Wassamatta U" college
- "Highlights" (children's magazine) {cj}
- Homer cites "Goofus and Gallant", one of the countless morality
cartoons pounded into children's skulls
- Livent (toy reseller) {jg}
- Showgirls Bear [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.]
- "Three Amigos!" (movie) {jg}
- Doctor says, "You'll get just as attached to these three amigos!"
+ "Dennis the Menace" (cartoon)
- Lou draws him
- the Wilson widow is a character from this cartoon [She's not a widow
in the strip, though -- Ed.] {er}
+ Fort Bragg (military installation) {ddg}
- Springfield's Fort Fragg a parody
+ Persian Gulf Syndrome {jg}
- Army T-shirt alludes to this
- Michael Dukakis' 1988 presidential campaign {dj}
- Bart riding in the tank looks similar to famous scene of Dukakis doing
the same
- man stealing tank {aw}
- a couple years back, a man hijacked a tank and drove on a rampage
around San Diego [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.]
- [Some people mentioned the incident was on one of Fox's "Scariest
Police Chases" specials, but I think the reference is to the incident
itself, rather than the show -- Ed.]
+ Tiananmen Square
- Marge stopping the tank was reminiscent of the famous photograph of
the student standing in front of a tank
- [{hl} notes China's Communist government celebrated its 50th
anniversary two days before this episode aired]
~ "Kelly's Heroes" (movie) {cj}
- this is an old Clint Eastwood film that climaxes in the three main
characters "standing up", unarmed, to a group of tanks
- Bugs Bunny (cartoon character) {ds}
- Wiggum calls the drugged-out Bart, "Drugs Bunny"
- "Popeye the Sailor Man" (cartoon theme)
- Bart's closing Ritalin ditty sung to the tune of the "Popeye" theme
song
==============================================================================
> Previous episode references
==============================================================================
- [7G02] Bart pulls a stunt that lands him in serious trouble with the
principal {av}
- [7G02] An attempt to compensate for Bart's in-school behavior makes things
worse {av}
- [7G02] Homer and Marge visit Skinner in the principal's office {av}
- [7G02] Cause for Bart's antics misdiagnosed {av}
- [7F03] Someone says, "Straighten up and fly right" {cg}
- [7F18] talk of a water park {ddg}
- [9F01] The Springfield Volunteer Fire Department appears {jg}
- [9F09], [3F05], [AABF04], [MG25] A Simpson goes under medical treatment
{er}
- [9F19], [AABF15] Ray Jay Johnson is mentioned {jg}
- [1F05] Krusty does the shifty-eyed thing after Homer takes the trampoline
{es}
- [1F17] Bart writes "note to self" {dj}
- [1F17] Milhouse says, "My glasses!" (cf. "Ah, my sport goggles!") {bm}
- [3F03], [3F16] A couch gag depicts OFF being painted {jg}
- [3F04] A cone is seen {dj}
- [3G01] A Simpson is put on a treadmill unnecessarily {jg}
- [4F04] Snowball and Santa's little helper have shifty eyes {mm}
- [4F07] A kid is subjected to experimental psychotherapy {jg}
- [4F07] someone's eye twitches {ddg}
- [4F08] "Don't Stop" is heard {dj}
- [4F10] Smokey the Bear is referenced {dj}
- [4F16] A Simpson gets suspicious after taking a medicine {er}
- [4F21] A "pot party" is depicted {jg}
- [5F13] Ralph's pyromania is alluded to {jg}
- [5F18] Shifty-eyed parrot in Bart's dream {cp}
- [5F20] The school gym is flooded {jg}
==============================================================================
> Freeze frame fun
==============================================================================
- Banner at the school {bjr}
FIRE SAFETY DAY:
LEARN, BABY, LEARN!
- Written on chalkboard for poetry lesson {bjr}
POETRY
------
* WORDSWORTH
* AUDEN
* JEWEL
- Bart's self-help book {bjr}
THE 7 HABITS
OF HIGHLY
EFFECTIVE
PRE-TEENS [the "7" is very large]
- Homer's self-help book {bjr}
Chicken
Soup for the
Loser
- Message on Homer's organizer {bjr}
-- Buy sunscreen
for legs ...
- Movie theater marquee {bjr}
CLASSIC FILM FEST:
SHOWGIRLS
- People in the theater {er}
- Krusty, Lenny, Nelson, Capt. McAllister, Dr. Nick
- Sign at the fort {bjr}
FORT FRAGG (See "Personal Comments & Observations" for more)
- T-shirt saying {bjr}
I WENT TO
THE PERSIAN GULF
AND ALL I GOT
WAS THIS
LOUSY SYNDROME
- People at the school when Bart arrived with the tank {rg}
- Allison Taylor (VERY briefly), Herman, Carl, Sideshow Mel, Jasper, Dr
Hibbert and his wife, Lenny, Ruth Powers, Abe, Joe Quimby
- People who cower when Bart is aiming the tank, from right to left {cg}
- Skinner, Jimbo, Kearney, Krabappel, Database (or is it Cosine?), Homer,
Herman, Lisa, Ms. Hoover, Ralph, Otto, Janey, Milhouse, Sideshow Mel,
Sherri (or Terri), Mr. Largo, Wendell, Willy, Lewis, Rev. Lovejoy, and
Martin
- Spy-bat readout {bjr}
2 [boy symbol] SNACK PREFERENCE: ALL
3 [girl symbol] SQUALOR INDEX: 97
==============================================================================
> Animation, continuity, and other goofs
==============================================================================
+ At the start of Act I, both Bart's and Maude's voices sounded a little off.
[Marcia Mitzman-Gaven did some of Maude's lines, which may account for that
difference. Dunno about Bart, though. See "Comments" section for more --
Ed.] {cg}
- In the very first scene at the school in Brother's Little Helper, Mr. Burns
and Smithers are standing right in front of the school doors. the school
is fairly far back so it's not very noticeable. If you look very closely,
Smithers' face is indeed black! {cw}
+ Springfield has had a full-time fire department in many episodes. {th}
+ Also, they used the abbreviation "SVFD" tonight, but in a fifth season
episode (I can't remember which), the equipment was marked "SPFD." {th}
+ Apu's hat no longer says "fire chief" on it. (Did he get demoted?) {rg}
= In close up, Maude's peace sign belt buckle is missing one of its lower
spokes, so it looks like she's wearing a Mercedes logo. {bjr}
+ the gymnasium was never a separate building from the school before this
episode {rg}
* How did Bart get the hose up to the gym window? {th}
+ In the diorama, it shows that all the students around Bart receive bad
grades. However, in a later scene Martin Prince is shown by Bart. {wb}
= In the play scene, Martin sports a girl's hairdo, which is gone in the
later playground scene. {bm}
= [Homer's] lips didn't match the words when naming famous people on drugs.
{jj}
c Homer names off "Andy Dick," but the CC reads "Martin Lawrence." {ac}
+ Nelson is not wearing his shock collar while he is in class even though he
was wearing it in all the other scenes he appears in. {ds}
= When Lisa comes into Bart's room, he pushes away from the desk, [after] the
cut to Lisa, he pushes away from the desk again and stands up. {jj}
+ Is there another water park besides Mt. Splashmore? If Homer had a 10-year
ban, it would still be on (in theory, it would last until Bart turned 20).
{ddg}
- When Bart is running on the treadmill, we see a periodic table reflected in
the window. It should be backwards, like most reflections. {cg}
* What tank can be driven by the person whose head sticks out of the tank's
hatch? {ddg}
* When Bart is driving the tank at Springfield Elementary, he drives over
see-saws, with out damage. The see-saws should have been crushed due to
the tank's weight. (yd)
* The tank ran out of gas ... but they actually run on Diesel. [It's
possible Bart didn't know that, though -- Ed.] {jj}
* How could Bart have shot down a space satellite with a tank, let alone find
the satellite with the naked eye? {jg}
* And how did it fall to Earth so fast? {jg}
* And it didn't disintegrate in the atmosphere. {ddg}
* Even though the missile went up at an angle to hit the satellite, and the
satellite would have fallen straight down, it landed at the site of the
tank. [{ddg} says, "If anything, it would have fallen in the other
direction, as it was struck in the direction in which it fell."] {th}
* Unless it was constantly being moved around under its own power, [the
satellite] couldn't possibly have been maintaining a constant surveillance
on Springfield as only satellites over the equator can maintain the same
position over Earth. {ddg}
==============================================================================
> Reviews
==============================================================================
Wilson Banswell: Is this a return to seasons 1-7? It sure seems so. There
was dumb Homer, Motherly Marge, and mischievous Bart. The first two acts
were A material, while third, while wacky, was still quite funny indeed.
The opening scene was a classic, with Maude and Ned Flanders in the hippie
skit. Also, the scene with Mark McGwire, though it seemed rushed, was also
quite funny. The bat with the camera was, a great DYN (Snack Preference:
ALL) (A)
Don Del Grande: Call me a fan of the old-fashioned action episodes, but I'm
just a fan of these old-fashioned action episodes. It could have used more
of a subplot, though. (Okay, time for everyone else to tell me why this
was the worst episode in years ...) (A-)
Yuri Dieujuste: A horrible episode even by last year's standard. The plot
made very little sense, and the conspiracy theory was just some filler
material to make the episode long enough for viewing. Plus, the social
commentary on the "over-drugged" society was too weak for the Simpsons. I
guess Fox is trying to make the show appeal to the non-intellectuals and
"non-nerds". (F)
Curtis Gibby: Better than last week's episode. It still had that cartoony
feel, especially in Act I, which was the weakest. (I guess that's
something we'll have to get used to, even if we don't like it.) The plot
was a bit wacky, but seemed slightly better than some of Season 10's
offerings. There was a good mix of the family and secondary characters.
(B-)
Joe Green: This is the kind of OFF episode I vastly prefer to cookie-cutter
"Homer Acts Like A Huge Jerk, Resulting In A Bunch of Hokey Slapstick"
shows. Most notably, it drove home a highly relevant message without
resorting to in-your-face preachiness. Here's hoping we get more like this
as Season 11 progresses. (A)
Richard Green: I am saddened. I figured that this episode could have some
interesting storylines, with Bart becoming a good student, a la Separate
Vocations, but instead, it seemed more like an X files episode with all the
paranoia. The appearance by Mark McGwire was wasted, and didn't even make
any sense! MLB is controlling the satellites? C'mon ... the only
satellites the MLB controls are the FOX satellites on Sunday nights, during
World Series season. The episode was mostly unfunny - I only laughed at
loud in two places: "At my house we call them uh-ohs" with a rebound lol
with the fire dog, and in the second act with Homer's Focusyn trap. (C-)
Jack Haas: Wow, George Meyer is back on the Simpsons, and it seems like he's
still got the touch. I liked this episode for a lot of reasons, first it
was finally an episode with a decent plot that dealt with some sort of
issue (in other words its just not "Homer drives a truck", or "Homer meets
Mel Gibson), I found the issue they dealt with interesting, and they
managed to deal seriously with the subject while still making it funny, in
a similar way to the way they dealt with the issue of handguns in "the
cartridge family". This episode's jokes were almost always funny, but at
the same time they weren't just fart, and crap jokes. It wasn't without
its faults though, [...] but for the most part it was a good episode which
will likely hold up to repeated watchings. (B+)
Tony Hill: Well, this started out as an OK ep, but it became quite
unreasonable when Bart OD'ed on Focusyn and commandeered the tank. I think
it went bad at the moment the scientists kissed. And how did the words
"testicles" and "diarrhea" manage to stay in the script? The last third
was too much plastic reality for the ep to do better than a (C+)
Carl Johnson: A despicably shoddy episode with no direction at all. There
are few funny moments and the only real substance is in act two, and even
there the writing is lousy. The current writers are simply incapable of
writing character-driven episodes, and I'd almost like to say that they
should stop trying, for when they don't attempt to put emphasis on
characters, the episode is usually funny. Homer and Marge's
characterization is the only strong point. (D-)
Darrel Jones: Ehh, this episode was about average. It's nice to see the
writers use a new, creative plotline, and some scenes were HILARIOUS (like
Homer's "dance" and Bart running amuck), but the whole episode felt a
little, I dunno, unsatisfying. (B-)
Joe Klemm: This episode is proof that even in its eleventh season, the show
continues to have the spunk that made it a hit. With a clever storyline
and some very hysterical moments (Ralph calling fires "Uh oh's", the klown
car bit), this episode should be the model of what later season eleven
episodes should be. (A+)
Michael Levy: Second Episode of the season and with it, great improvement
over last week. It had everything that was lacking last week. Good use of
non-Simpson family characters, especially nice to see Ralph back in his
gracious form. Yet, they still seem to be not trying hard enough to
develop why we get from here to there. A little too much forced.
Nonetheless, a solid B effort, hopefully an indicator of good things to
come. (B)
Ondre Lombard: Beginning of story: Bart's destructive rambunctiousness
results in his need for a prescription hyperactivity drug. End of story:
Bart steals a tank and uses it to destroy a privacy-invading satellite.
Even the forced attempt to have fun with this plot on my end didn't really
work. There were various unnatural and strange progressions of the story
that just didn't really work for me, and that includes the jokes, some of
which had me scratching my head (like with Homer and Carl, and the shower
bit). Also, nothing about the story seemed to justify Bart's out of
character, out of place and strange use of "testicles." Well anyway, some
jokes worked, and I liked the set-up, but this continued insanity succeeded
in ruining any down-to-earth potential this episode may have had. (C)
Patrick McGovern: A return to form? Seems like it. Lots of intelligent
commentary and good characterization for Bart overshadow the silliness of
the 3rd act (Which was still funny). And I'll take Stupid Homer (i.e.
Original Homer) over Jerkass Homer any day. Sadly, the Mark McGuire cameo
is garbage, even if a good joke came of it. (B+)
Nick Orechwa: This was an episode which started off with a decent premise and
then pretty much went exponentially downhill from there. It seemed like
the writers really did not know what to do with it and decided to insert as
many lame and desperate gags as they could. However, despite that, there
were a few good moments. In particular, the scenes Krusty had were good
and the beginning with Flanders and his wife was humorous. (C)
Matt Rose: An admitted Simpsons cynic, I admit that I enjoyed this episode a
lot, at times it really did feel like an episode from years past, with some
good social commentary on a controversial issue and a few barbs at the
Republican party. Bart seems like the only family member anymore where the
jokes are still somewhat character driven, which makes a refreshing change
of pace from "Look at Homer! Look at what he's doing now!". Plus anything
giving Harry Shearer a vehicle for his Vin Scully impression always scores
points with me. Good Mr. Burns cameo. Mark McGwire's appearance seemed
wasted though, which is a shame. The show is abusing its celebrity drawing
clout. Overall, an episode not perfect by any means, but I'll take it.
(B)
Jason Rosenbaum: This one was quite odd. It reminded me a lot from last
week's episode: little plot, lotsa gags. These are always hit or miss, and
this episode sort of missed. It was in your face, and had little wit, but
did have some great gags ("Not the church, Jesus lives there!") Overall,
average fare. (C+)
Evan Ross: All in all, not a very good episode. A lot of characters were out
of character, so to speak; Marge in particular. She never seemed that
devious to trick her own sun before. Besides that, there just weren't a
whole lot of really funny jokes going around. The first act at the fire
safety show was good, yet Bart ended it by being cruel rather than
mischievous. The only laugh out loud line was delivered by Rod : "Daddy,
is Mr. Simpson possessed? I guess so." It was too strange also for Bart to
get by with little punishment for actively destroying the town. (C-)
Eric Sansoni: Following David Stern, veteran writer George Meyer returns in
the AABF series to pen his first show in years, far surpassing a typical
effort by the newer writers. Finally, an episode centered around hard-
hitting, cutting-edge satire of a modern social trend. Three-dimensional
characterization, multi-leveled punchlines, and wonderfully balanced
throwaway gags from the supporting characters make this entry as good as
the average season four episode. The dialogue of the drug-dispensing
doctors was particularly amusing. On the other hand, too many subpar,
cartoony sight gags, and a conclusion so frantic it could have benefited
from some "Focusyn" itself, keep this from being a classic. (B)
Yours Truly: If you were looking for evidence that Matt Groening is
concentrating most of his attention on "Futurama," this show is it.
Instead of the classic "Simpsons" combination of humor and relevance, we
get to see Bart go on a third-act rampage that involves him driving a tank
through Springfield. There are some good moments, like Bart's
Stepford-like behavior on Focusyn and his initial freak-out, but the
general level of silliness overshadows them. (C)
AVERAGE GRADE: B- (2.64) Std Dev.: 1.1802 (25 reviews computed)
==============================================================================
> Comments and other observations
==============================================================================
>> Musical References
Joe Green: Bart sings Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop" while driving the tank
Tony Hill: "Straighten Up and Fly Right" was written by Nat King Cole and
Irving Mills around 1945, based on a sermon Cole's preacher father had
given. It's about a monkey trying to ride a buzzard, whom the former tells
to "Straighten Up and Fly Right." Cole tried it out on Lucille Ball, who
thought it was the filthiest song she ever heard. Use your imagination as
to what she thought the monkey was telling the buzzard to do.
>> Meta-References
Tony Hill: Martin's voice [In real life, he's been voiced by Russi Taylor and
Pamela Hayden -- Ed.]
>> Those never-ending threads
- Where is Springfield?
Yuri Dieujuste: Since most satellites are positioned over the equator,
Springfield would have to be between 40 Degrees North Latitude and 55
Degrees North Latitude since Bart aimed the tank cannon at those angles to
hit MLB's satellite.
Darrel Jones: This would probably place Springfield in the Northern US ...
Hawaii is at about 20 Degrees North, the Mexican Border around 34 or 35
Degrees North. I think you'd have to be north of the Ohio River to hit 40
Degrees. The 55 Degrees North max could even place it in Alaska, but only
the southern portion (like the Aleutian Islands, or the "mainland"
peninsula in the southeast corner).
>> "They can hire new voices, and no one can tell the difference"
As you might have heard, voice actress Maggie Roswell left the show sometime
during the break between the tenth and eleventh season. Along with Tress
MacNeille, Ms. Roswell was responsible for voicing many of the adult female
characters in Springfield. Her principal characters were LuAnne Van
Houten, Elizabeth Hoover (Lisa's teacher), Helen Lovejoy, and Maude
Flanders, but she also voiced many of the incidental characters. Another
actress, Marcia Mitzman-Gaven, was hired to fill in for the absent Ms.
Roswell. As it stands of this writing, Ms. Mitzman-Gaven's tenure on the
show is destined to be short. Rumor has it that Maude Flanders will be
killed off sometime early this season, and that Roswell's remaining
characters will be given the "silent treatment," a la Lunchlady Doris, Troy
McClure, and Lionel Hutz.
Both women's names appear in the credits tonight. If you listen carefully,
you may notice that Maude's voice changes from line to line as she performs
the play. It would appear that Ms. Roswell's departure took the staff by
surprise, if Ms. Mitzman-Gaven had to show up in the middle of an episode.
Ondre Lombard adds: Maude's changed voice was so remarkably obvious it was
staggering. I shudder to wonder what might've happened if Fox really did
get scabs in place of the main staff.
>> Better Living Through Chemistry
Benjamin Robinson: Fifty years ago, a student who disrupted class, couldn't
sit still, and talked back to authority figures was branded a troublemaker
and made to sit in the corner. Today, we brand them an ADD victim, and
make them take pills. ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder, is the new term for
what used to be known as "hyperactivity." In the past, doctors blamed the
disorder on diet (sugar was the prime suspect) or failure on the parents'
part to discipline the child. Now, such a child is likely to be diagnosed
with ADD and given Ritalin. Interestingly, Ritalin is normally a stimulant
but it has the opposite effect in ADD patients, making them calmer and more
focused. For people who really have ADD, the drug has been very
beneficial. The problem, according to some critics, is that some children
who don't have ADD are diagnosed with it anyway. The initial push for
Ritalin comes not from the child's parents or pediatrician, but from the
child's teacher. In theory it makes sense, since the teacher spends more
time observing a child's behavior than his or her parents often do, but
some teachers can be Ritalin-happy. They will recommend the child see the
doctor (and get a prescription ... or else) simply because the teacher
would rather deal with a room full of placid, docile children. The debate
over the proper course of treatment for ADD (or even how to diagnose ADD)
continues to this day. Parents of a candidate for Ritalin should proceed
cautiously and discuss their concerns with a qualified doctor, just to be
safe.
Eric Perlin contributes: For a partial list of accomplished celebrities and
historical figures with ADD, click here:
<http://www.oneaddplace.com/famous.htm>.
[The Detroit News has an in-depth series of articles about Ritalin usage in
schools. There are no easy answers for this question, and the paper did a
good job of covering both sides of the debate. It's at
<http://www.detnews.com/1998/metrox/ritalin/index.htm> -- Ed.]
>> Fun With Slang
Benjamin Robinson explains two slang words worth knowing to get the full
enjoyment from tonight's show: Pork -- According to Robert Chapman's
"American Slang," this word can mean, "to do the sex act; copulate."
Notice that it is a verb. Also notice that it's slightly improper, so
choose your audience carefully if you want to use it.
Frag -- Again according to Chapman, this is a Vietnam War-era term meaning,
"to kill or wound someone, esp. a detested officer of one's own unit,
typically by throwing a fragmentation grenade at him."
Curtis Gibby adds: Also used by players in games such as Quake and Doom to
describe kills, i.e. "He got tele-fragged." "How many frags did you get?"
John M. Daniel: "Frag" as a slang term dates back at least to the Vietnam
War. To frag someone meant to kill someone, usually a hated officer or
leader who was too gung-ho, in a manner that made it look like enemy action
-- such as rolling a fragmentation grenade (hence "frag") into the victim's
tent, while co-conspirators fire their rifles and swear they saw VC fleeing
the scene.
Presumably the usage mutated into meaning "kill someone in a nasty way", as
in Quake, but as a name for an Army base, it's more blackly humorous in
terms of its original meaning.
>> "You mean like John Leguizamo?"
Joe Klemm explains who he is: John Leguizamo is a very successful Hispanic
actor. Among his best work is his one-man show "Freak," which was
nominated for a Tony and as well as an Emmy winner. He has also appeared
in several movies, with his film credits including "Super Mario Brothers,"
"To Wong Fu, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar," and "Spawn." [{bjr}
adds, "he credits his involvement in the drama with helping him to stay
straight"]
>> Chicken Soup for the Loser
Andrew Levine provides some background on Laundromat owner Bill Buckner: Say
the name "Bill Buckner" in Boston and you're likely to get arrested.
Buckner was a first baseman for several major league baseball teams from
1969-1990. Although skilled as a line-drive hitter, Buckner's name was
forever disgraced by his critical misplay in the 1986 World Series, when
his Boston Red Sox played the New York Mets. The Red Sox were ahead 3
games to 2, and in the bottom of the ninth inning of game 6, Boston was
ahead by a run and one out from their first championship since 1918.
Mookie Wilson of the Mets hit a ground ball to first base that should have
been a routine out. But Buckner bobbled the ball, which dribbled between
his legs and into right field, allowing the Mets to score two runs and win
the game. New York then won game 7 to take home the title.
Dale G. Abersold defends Buckner: A couple of minor corrections: Buckner's
misplay occurred in the bottom of the tenth inning, not the ninth. Also,
the first (and tying) run was scored on a wild pitch by Bob Stanley. So
even if he had got Mookie out, the game would simply have gone on to the
eleventh inning.
Buckner really got a bum rap in this series. Sure, he *should* have caught
that ball, but a greater portion of the blame should rest on the Boston
pitchers. After all, going into the bottom of the tenth inning, the Red
Sox were ahead by two runs. Calvin Schiraldi, however, allowed three
consecutive singles (and one run), while Stanley threw the wild pitch,
tying the game up.
John Gennaro: To quickly add here, that Buckner was hobbled and should have
been out for a defensive replacement. He simply could not bend over for
that ball and you can see it.
>> American Movie Classics
Joe Klemm discusses Marge's taste in romantic movies: Showgirls is an
extremely awful film about the world of Las Vegas showgirls. A pure
stinker, this film has been named by the Razzie Awards the Worst Film of
1995. To make matter even worse, MGM, the distributors of film, launched an
unsuccessful attempt to make Showgirls the next Rocky Horror and even came
up with an audience participation script.
>> Coming soon: The "American Pie" bear
Speaking of "Showgirls" and bears, Joe Klemm writes: Livent is a Canadian
company that began selling Beanie Babies to Broadway goers. The Beanies
they sell are official Ty Beanie Babies, each with a special ribbon the
play that they represent. The type of Beanie that is sold for each show
depends on what happened in the show itself. Among the musicals Livent has
promoted include Phantom of the Opera, Ragtime, and Fosse.
>> In real life, you don't even get the damn T-shirt
Benjamin Robinson: As the Persian Gulf Conflict wound down, it looked like
the American military personnel would emerge relatively unscathed.
Casualties from the fighting were light, the Iraqis surrendered quickly,
and the enemy never got to deploy its much-feared reserves of chemical and
biological weapons. The story was not to end there, however. Some
soldiers began to complain of a collection of hard-to-pinpoint medical
symptoms -- fatigue, pain, and malaise -- that they thought was related to
their service in the Middle East. They claim either they were exposed to
biochemical agents without realizing it, or that our own counter-measures
wound up triggering the disease (dubbed "Gulf War Syndrome"). The
government claimed the soldiers were either suffering from some unrelated
malady, or it was just in their heads. The stonewalling continued until
just recently, until Congress decided to set up a committee to study the
matter. Don't expect a quick resolution.
>> The ultimate SUV
That would be an Army tank. Jeff Cross discusses the real-life incident that
may have inspired Bart's rampage: A few years back some wacko swiped an M-
60 Sherman tank from a California National Guard base and went joyriding,
with the cannon pointed straight back at the cops giving pursuit. He was
shot to death by police out of fear he'd actually blast something with the
cannon.
Dean Humphries remembers: Hey, we people of San Diego are proud of our late,
lamented *Tank Man* (even to the point of T-shirts commemorating the event
being made), I just missed crossing paths with him by a few minutes.
Regrettably, as Bart was under the influence of drugs, so was Tank Man-a
little too much crystal meth too many times.
>> Maybe they should have prescribed Viagra
Someone mysterious person, known only as "M7," writes: Hey, I haven't been
around for a LONG time, but I had to comment on a certain aspect of last
night's show. I've read all the reviews and recaps here (well, almost all)
and no one has commented on the odd sexual undercurrent of last night's
show. It was as if they stuck something in for all sexual deviations every
4 minutes or so. For example
1. Bart wearing the girl's cheerleader outfit. (crossdressers)
2. Homer wearing those cutoff jeans up to his crotch. (gay)
3. The Showgirls scene, with the girls in thongs just about to remove their
tops. (for us regular guys)
4. Sideshow Mel in a dress with a hot woman's body. (transsexuals)
5. The two naked guys in the shower. (gay)
6. Bart stripped down to his underwear on the treadmill. (pedophiles)
Scott Henrichs: There were also a lot of sexual jokes. Skinner saying all
the fireman tools and Bart laughing at their names. Bart's testicle joke.
And of course, the chalkboard with the "Pork is not a verb".
Chris Palm: There was some sort of food/sex joke, too. [The butterscotch
thing -- Ed.] Marge mentioned a bar where men dance with each other.
Those two scientists kissed.
>> Parade of Stars
Benjamin Robinson delivers quickie bios of people not mentioned so far: Brett
Butler -- Loose-cannon actress, who had her own show after "Roseanne" on
ABC. I think she used to go on drinking binges, among other things. [{ol}
adds, "the show she had came to an end when her on-set shenanigans got out
of hand and she flashed a young co-star of hers."]
Tim Allen -- "Home Improvement" star (also on ABC, hmmm) who was jailed for
selling cocaine. After release, he cleaned up his act and went into
comedy. The rest is history. [{jc} adds, "[Allen] has also been arrested
for DUI."]
Andy Dick -- Was Matthew the spastic guy on "NewsRadio." Recently arrested
for having drugs in his car. [{jc} adds, "[He] is a confessed pothead,
saying he's 'self-medicating with vitamin M.'"]
Jewel -- Singer/songwriter, who also writes poetry. Whether you think it's
really terrible or really deep depends on how much of a Jewel (or poetry)
fan you are.
Mark McGwire -- Baseball player who hit 70 home runs last season, breaking
Roger Maris' previously unassailable record of 61.
>> On original staff and original vision
For the original version of this capsule, Capel Clegg contributed a thought-
provoking essay challenging a basic "old-school" tenet: That the series
changed for due to behind-the-scenes staffing changes. Since then, we've
gotten several good counterpoints, which we're publishing here. [Some
paragraphs have been reordered for clarity and flow, but are otherwise
unchanged -- Ed.]
Capel Clegg started with: Nobody pointed out that the credited writer for
this episode was George Meyer, who has been with the show since the first
season but hasn't had solo credit on an episode since "Bart's Inner Child."
In fact, I'd say anyone who says the "original writers" should come back
isn't looking hard enough at the credits. Meyer and Swartzwelder have
always been there, but Mike Scully has clearly made an effort to hire back
some of the original SIMPSONS people: he brought Al Jean back to the show,
as well as David M. Stern, and even re-hired Larina Jean Adamson as the
animation producer (those who are anal enough to notice these things will
remember that she was animation producer for the first two seasons).
Ondre Lombard responds: I have paid attention to the couple of people who
have returned. I'm still skeptical that the true person behind the
"original vision" was James L. Brooks is still there. The difference
between now and then is Mike Scully is the captain of the show now, not
him. When he was, he had very intent designs on how the show was going to
be. And considering he was an Academy Award winning director behind such
worthy material as "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and "Terms of Endearment," I
think his ideas gave Simpsons a more cinematic, real feel. Without that,
writers are just writers. Myself, I eventually stopped infusing much
importance into them anyway.
Capel Clegg: In fact, I think the toughest thing for many disappointed
SIMPSON-ites to admit is that the current state of the series is pretty
much the way the "original creators" want it to be. Case in point: Matt
Groening, in every recent interview I've seen with him, mentions that he's
pleased with the current state of THE SIMPSONS and the "wacky, weird"
episodes that Scully and co. have come up with.
Ondre Lombard: Matt Groening is a goofy cartoonist by nature. He probably
didn't have anything to do with the sensitivity and emotional depth
Simpsons had when it started. James L. Brooks told him to create him a
cartoon for The Tracey Ullman Show and he just created something in 15
minutes. Somehow, I don't think that his strong suit is much of anything
else besides comedy. So naturally I think he'd find this wackiness amusing
(this all assuming MG isn't required to never speak ill against the show
publicly.)
Seth Miller: Your take on Matt Groening pisses me off. His cartoons, the
"Life in Hell" series, are FULL of emotional depth and sensitivity, a lot
of which couldn't be expressed on a network or basic cable series, and not
because of toilet humor, but because they probe human nature in a raw and
unyielding way. They aren't particularly goofy cartoons, either. But
WORST OF ALL, whilst panning the show, you have the gall to suggest that
because all he is good for is "comedy", he presumably isn't sophisticated
enough to appreciate the "sensitivity and emotional depth" that you, the
learned viewer, so crave.
Alex Flandonwittsy: I kind of agree with him. For a man to write such an
emotional ep as "Colonel Homer", and then to say he's proud of such filth
as "Viva Ned Flanders" would maybe mean emotion isn't his main priority.
Do I have a problem with that? Not really, because there are others on
staff who do consider sensitivity a main concern (again, I'm not saying MG
isn't one of them). Take care. Good-day.
Ondre Lombard: I suppose the way I meant to word it is that to him, maybe
having absolutely no emotional depth and having nothing but caper'ish
insanity is satisfactory enough for him. That doesn't necessarily mean he
doesn't appreciate it. Anyway, it is all a theory of mine since most of
everything I've read about what made OFF so dramatic before had to do with
Sam Simon and James L. Brooks.
Capel Clegg: Now, Groening isn't the sort of person who would shut up or lie
when he doesn't like something; remember his reaction to that CRITIC
crossover episode? I think it's fair to assume that he is pleased with the
show as it stands, because he says he is.
Now, just because Groening likes the current SIMPSONS obviously doesn't
mean you have to (or that I have to, for that matter). But let's at least
get it straight: Mike Scully and his crew have not violated a sacred trust,
nor have they sold out to the demons of hell. They've made a decision to
make the show wackier, weirder, more anarchic. Many long-running shows
become stale because they keep focusing on the same basic personality
traits and conflicts every week; I think that Scully is consciously trying
to prevent that by focusing more on things that one might not expect to
happen (though these "unpredictable" climaxes are themselves getting a bit
predictable), rather than the stuff that was pretty much exhausted a few
years back. Now, I'm not saying this was the right approach to take; maybe
a better way would have been to try and delve deeper into the characters,
something like that.
Ondre Lombard: If people here were actually growing tired of seeing stuff
like "Lisa's Substitute" or "Life on the Fast Lane," they probably would've
said so, instead of demanding more of it in place of insanity like "Maximum
Homerdrive."
Capel Clegg: But the thing is: They're not creating shows just for "people
here," but for the wider public that watches the show. That means they
have to balance the desire of some fans to see the show remain the same
with the desire of other fans to see the show do new things. Why should
they do another "Lisa's Substitute," when they've done one already? And if
they went back to the old style, there would be plenty of people ready to
point to that as evidence that the show had become stale and repetitive.
Maybe the show went as far as it could with the "realistic" material. Not
necessarily, but maybe.
Ondre Lombard: Furthermore, is that really an excuse? Show gets old, so you
better start getting crazy? That didn't work for "Roseanne" when it was
nearing the end. All the critics derided its reliance on out-there
fantasy-reality after Roseanne won the lottery. Simpsons is given other
liberties because it's animated, and I find that to be wrong. There are
plenty of shows that kept their feet in reality, treated the characters as
people rather than situational puppets and stayed brilliant for years
("M*A*S*H," "Cheers," "All in the Family," etc.) OFF never -- never --
indicated a need for a change in direction. It was working quite well up
until David Mirkin came along and, quite frankly, screwed it all up.
And lastly, even if there is a need for change, that certainly can't
account for the lack of creativity in the animation, the lack of
emotionally manipulating camera angles and natural voice acting and natural
jokes. Or even sharp and witty jokes. Much of them are explained to the
audience. Simpsons was dumbed down -- not improved.
Capel Clegg: I think you're mistaken about Mirkin. Here's a quote from an
interview with Mirkin, circa 1995
"Other people have told me the show became a little bit more story
intensive when I came aboard. The first season was very, very story
oriented and very character oriented, but kind of slow moving in the first
season. Then the pace kept picking up for the second, third and fourth
season, but by the third and fourth season it was going so fast that story
got lost a little bit. It was almost a series of events then a strong
story. I kind of brought it back and it was something that I wanted to do
and Jim Brooks wanted to do. Wanted to bring it back to more of a strong
story-character through line and I think we did that."
See, David Mirkin is often accused here of having emphasized character at
the expense of gags. But when Mirkin was hired, Brooks told him that he
wanted *more* emphasis on characterization and story than had been the rule
in the fourth season, and by most accounts Brooks felt that Mirkin had
helped to re-infuse the show with an emphasis on character. And I think so
too--if you take the later episodes of the fourth season, like "Marge In
Chains" and "Cape Feare," and then compare the early Mirkin stuff like
"Marge On the Lam" and "Rosebud," it seems obvious that Mirkin brought back
some of the sentiment and sadness that had been missing when Jean and Reiss
made the show lighter and wackier. The fifth season's humor also
recaptured some of the darkness of the first season--much more emphasis on
Mr. Burns' cruelty and the danger of the power plant, for example.
Furthermore, a lot of people praise the seventh season at the expense of
the Mirkin era--forgetting that Mirkin had a lot of influence over the show
in that season (there's an "assistant to Mr. Mirkin" credit at the end of
every seventh-season episode), and that many of the scripts were probably
commissioned by Mirkin, even though Oakley and Weinstein supervised the re-
writing. Nothing's quite so cut and dried, you see.
Shows that stay fresh for more than five seasons are shows that change
their style and approach periodically. THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW morphed
midway from the story of a spunky working woman into a workplace ensemble
comedy. SEINFELD in its later years got crazier and placed more emphasis
on complicated, farcical plots; it was criticized for this, but Seinfeld
and David realized that the show couldn't just go on exactly the way it did
in the first few years. And THE SIMPSONS couldn't--and shouldn't--be
exactly what it was at the beginning, not without becoming a tired rehash
of itself (not *another* episode where Homer learns to be a better
father!).
Ondre Lombard: Well, you must give me very little credit if you think I
expect to see the same story over and over again. Many classics of
yesteryear did not line up perfectly in uniform. What is the similarity
between "Homer at the Bat" and "Simpson and Delilah?" Or "One Fish, Two
Fish, Blow Fish, Blue Fish" and "Bart the Daredevil?" I expect certain
tones and directions to be APPLIED to whatever fresh and original idea is
being tackled. And it isn't as if the show doesn't repeat itself now. The
crazy twists at the end of every episode does not cover up the hum-drum,
routine over-exercise of certain styles and plot ideas. How many damn
times are we gonna see Homer get into some insane, unreasonable job and
cause other people anguish and grief? I think we've seen that more than
we've ever seen Homer "try to be a good father." And aren't there other
Simpsons characters by the way?
Dale G. Abersold: The show has become a tired rehash of its post-1994 self.
Not another episode where Homer gets a new job and aggressively learns
nothing!
Capel Clegg: True enough, and I think the show has reached a point where it
needs to shift its focus a bit. We'll see if this season fits the bill.
I'm saying that these people [Mirkin, et al] aren't evil slobs out to
destroy your favorite show. Many of them are among the people who made it
your favorite show in the first place. Criticize what they're doing, but
*criticize*, rather than name-calling.
Ondre Lombard: That, I can agree with. It doesn't make things any better or
worse to hurl names. Constructive criticism is what separates the
thoughtful observer from the whiner.
[At this point, we'll consider the debate closed, and add no further comment
to this section -- Ed.]
>> Miscellaneous, Etc.
The Haynes Lee alterna-title for this show is: Rain Bart
Mike Erickson: Bart says NO to drugs, which I though was a good message ...
considering that a study came out last week that kids aged 8-16 thought
Bart was one of the top 5 role models on TV. What's funny was that
everyone around him wanted him to take the drugs.
Joe Klemm: Spice is one of those adult pay-per-view channels that appear on
cable. Like most adult channels, Spice is regular PPV channels in the day
hours, but begin to air TVMA programs once it reaches the 10:oo PM hour.
Haynes Lee contributes these next two items: .li Bart most likely inherited
A.D.D. from Homer who shows all the classic symptoms of A.D.D. and
dyslexia.
Bart's comment that he now uses 10% of his brain capacity is believed to be
false. See <http://www.urbanlegends.com/science/10_percent_of_brain.html>
Bill McNeal: We see a drawing of the animated Dennis the Menace [when the
Marge describes Bart for the cops]. Former Simpsons actor(I-call-God) Phil
Hartman was the voice of Henry Mitchell on that series. Hartman also
occasionally played Mr. Wilson, but the primary vocalist for Wilson was
Maurice LaMarche of Futurama. [In addition,] Andy Dick is mentioned, who
co-starred with Phil Hartman on NewsRadio.
Robert Todd: On the climbing frame millhouse mentions that he takes Claritin.
[This is] a Hay Fever treatment. [I think it's useful for other allergies,
as well -- Ed.]
==============================================================================
> Quotes and Scene Summary {bjr}
==============================================================================
% At Springfield Elementary, the kids are taking a break from their
% usual lessons to study fire safety. In the playground, several pro-
% safety exhibits have been set up. Principal Skinner mans a display of
% fire-fighting equipment and takes questions from the students. Like,
% for example, Bart and Lisa Simpson.
Lisa: Principal Skinner, what would you say is the most important
fire-fighting tool? Would you say it's prevention?
Skinner: Oh, absolutely, Lisa. That, and the sand bucket.
Bart: [pointing to some of the equipment] What's that stuff?
Skinner: Why, this is retardant.
Bart: [laughs] Sure is. Hey, what's that? [picks up some
equipment]
Skinner: That's called a hose lengthener.
Bart: [laughs] You need one.
Skinner: G'oh!
Bart: What's this?
Skinner: Just read the label. It's a king-sized flamer!
Bart: [laughs uproariously]
Skinner: Bart, will you go bother someone else?
Bart: Look! A fire! [Skinner looks over at Bart]
Engine.
Skinner: Stop that.
Bart: Help! Help! Fire ... helmets. [shows some on the truck]
Skinner: Can't you do something constructive?
Bart: Sure, I can do something destructive. [runs off]
Willie: [walking up to Skinner, and carrying a hoe] Just say the
word, and I'll bury this hoe in his back. I can make it look
like suicide.
-- This is why Fire Safety Day is only once a year, "Brother's Little
Helper"
% Hosey the Bear has also shown up, to dispense fire safety tips.
% Ralph seems to have mistaken him for someone else, though.
Ralph: And I want a bike, and a monkey, a friend for the
monkey ...
Hosey: You're not going to start any fires, are you?
Ralph: At my house, we call them, "uh-ohs."
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% Meanwhile, Milhouse pets the Springfield VFD's mascot Dalmatian.
% When he asks if the dog can do any tricks, Moe explains that the pooch
% "is so inbred he can barely stand up." The dog falls down on cue.
%
% At another part of the school, the children -- some of them, anyway -
% - have gathered to watch a skit on fire safety. Skinner walks onstage
% to introduce the play.
Skinner: Fire can be our servant, whether it's toasting s'mores, or
raining down on Charlie. But it can turn not-so-nice, as
you'll see in this skit by the volunteer fire department
players.
[the curtains part, revealing a hippie "crash pad." Ned and
Maude Flanders, dressed in late-60s attire, open the door and
walk in]
Ned: What a great pot party!
Maude: Wasn't it, man?
Ned: Now for a regular cigarette to make the night complete.
[lights one, takes a drag, and coughs] Oh, man that's good.
Maude: Mad Dog, I've been thinking. Maybe we should get another
smoke detector in case that one trips out on us.
Ned: [laughs] Why bother, baby. One smoke detector's enough for
Mad Dog. Now let's hit the sack.
[they both lie down in bed. In short order, Ned -- er-- Mad
Dog's cigarette sets his pants aflame]
Whoa, check it out! Mad Dog's on fire!
Maude: Stop, drop, and roll, man!
Ned: Ha, ha, ha, that's for clydes, baby. A little fire can't
hurt you.
[the curtains close. Apu walks onstage to address the
audience]
Apu: But Mad Dog was wrong. The fire burned through the night and
cost him the use of his pants. Which just goes to show you
...
[Ned pokes his head from behind the curtain]
Ned: Sorry to break character, but these stunt pants are getting
mighty toasty!
Maude: Uh, roll, Neddie, roll.
[does so]
Ned: It's not working -- it just spreads the flames!
-- When Fire Safety Skits Go Wrong, "Brother's Little Helper"
% The firemen run to get the hose, but discover that it's leading to
% the gymnasium. The doors burst open, and a great wave of water bursts
% forth. Bart surfs on top of the wave, using a basketball backboard as
% a makeshift surfboard. Skinner and the others are swept away. (At
% least the water extinguishes Ned.) Skinner yells at the boy, but Bart
% is nonchalant as usual.
%
% Skinner isn't taking things so gracefully, though, and calls Homer
% and Marge in to school. After punching a pop-up clown balloon for
% stress relief, he gets down to business.
Skinner: Thank you for coming.
Homer: Thank you for getting me out of work.
Skinner: I'll be blunt -- Bart's latest escapade goes far beyond the
realm of the hi-jink.
[cut to the gymnasium, where Willie blow-dries the floor.
In spite of his efforts, the floor has warped, and it now
has large hummocks in it]
Willie: There, now the floor is as good as new.
[some kids are playing basketball. Nelson tries to throw a
bounce pass to Wendell, but the ball takes a crazy bounce
and hits Milhouse in the face]
Milhouse: My sports goggles!
[back to the principal's office]
Skinner: Your son is a ravenous demon, relentlessly gnawing at all
that's good and true.
Homer: Yeah, he's something else, all right.
Skinner: But worst of all, he drags down the grades of anyone who
sits near him. Just look at this pattern.
[holds up a chart of the classroom. At its center is
Bart's face. Immediately surrounding him are "D"s and
"F"s. At the perimeter, are "A"s and "B"s]
Homer: [giggles] Hey, that looks like Bart.
Skinner: And turning to the 3-D map, we see an unmistakable cone of
ignorance.
[produces a model that looks like a black-hole map, with
schooldesks stuck to it. The center of the "hole" is where
Bart's seat would normally be]
Marge: [flinching] Put it away! Put it away!
Skinner: Very well, but there's no escaping the truth. Bart has a
classic case of attention deficit disorder.
Marge: You mean like John Leguizamo?
Skinner: How should I know? The point is, ADD makes children
restless and easily distracted.
Homer: [uses the model as a megaphone] Hi Marge, it's me, Homer.
[Skinner clears his throat] What? Time to go?
Skinner: Please, Mr. Simpson. I'm afraid I'll have to expel your
son, [Marge gasps] unless you're willing to try a radical,
untested, potentially dangerous ...
Homer: Candy bar?
Skinner: No. It's a new drug, called Focusyn.
Marge: A drug? I know Bart can be rambunctious, but he's not some
hyperactive monster.
[suddenly Bart appears in the window, dressed in
cheerleader garb]
Bart: Gimme an "F!" Gimme an "art!"
Skinner: Good Lord! He's gotten into the pep closet.
Homer: I'd say he's coming out of the pep closet. [chuckles]
-- Father's pride and joy, "Brother's Little Helper"
% Homer and Marge decide to pay a visit to The Pharm Team, makers of
% Focusyn. Two pharmacists take them on a tour.
Marge: I don't want to pump my little boy full of drugs.
Pharm. 1: Yeah, yeah, we get a lot of that.
Pharm. 2: But then they see our results.
[shows the Simpsons some guinea pigs, running around in a
cage like idiots]
Pharm. 1: These are normal guinea pigs, running around like idiots.
Now I'll give them some Focusyn.
[spritzes some of the drug on them. The become docile, and
run into an adjoining cage. The second cage has rows of
schooldesks in it, and the guinea pigs take their seats]
Marge: That's amazing -- and darling.
Pharm. 2: Check this out. [puts on a guinea pig hand puppet (with a
mortarboard on its head), and sticks it in the cage. The
eyes of the drugged pigs follow its every move]
Homer: They've become your slaves.
Pharm. 2: Yes, but it's not about slavery, it's about helping kids
concentrate. This pill reduces class clownism 44%.
Pharm. 1: With 60% less sass-mouth.
Pharm. 2: The only thing more effective is regular exercise.
[Homer shudders]
-- Better living through chemistry, "Brother's Little Helper"
% Back at home, Bart plays a super-fast video game. There is so much
% action on the screen that being hyperactive is probably helpful in
% winning. Marge wonders how they will convince Bart to take his
% medicine. Homer says that is just a matter of trust. Then he takes
% some pills and tries shooting them with a rubber band across the
% living room into Bart's mouth. His aim is almost as bad as his
% decision-making.
%
% Bart quickly learns the truth, and he is not happy about it.
Bart: I don't want to take drugs.
Homer: Sure you do. All your favorite stars abuse drugs. Brett
Butler, Tim Allen ...
Marge: ... Tommy Lee ...
Homer: ... Andy Dick.
Bart: He's just flamboyant.
Homer: Yeah, and I'm a size four.
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% The standoff continues, as Bart holes up in his treehouse. Homer
% tries to talk him down.
Homer: Bart, let's just forget all about that drug thing. Why don't
you just come down and have some taffy? [holds up a wad of
taffy with Focusyn pills stuck in it]
Bart: Nice try, Homer.
Homer: Just take one bite. If you're not 100% different [Bart drops
a soccer ball on him] Ow! Geez, what's the big deal? Look,
I'll even eat some. [does so, and promptly wigs out]
Todd: Does Mr. Simpson have a demon, daddy?
Ned: Looks like it. Run and get daddy's exorcism tongs.
Rod +
Todd: Yay! [run off]
Marge: Honey? If you don't want to take the medicine, we won't
force you.
Bart: Really? [Marge nods; comes down]
Marge: No, I just thought you might love me enough to let me help
you. [gives the boy a guilt-inducing look]
Bart: Mom ... all right, I'll do it for you. [takes pill]
Homer: Way to guilt him, Marge.
Marge: It's what I do.
[Homer absent-mindedly eats more pill-laced taffy, and wigs
out again]
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% [End of Act One. Time: 6:50]
%
% Morning in the Simpson household. Bart comes downstairs and joins
% his mother in the kitchen.
Marge: Good morning, honey. [kisses Bart] How is my special little
guy?
Bart: I'm having side effects from the dope.
Marge: It's not dope! It's something to help you concentrate.
Bart: All I know is my testicles won't fit in my underwear.
[camera pans down to reveal two tell-tale bulges]
Marge: Bart, get those oranges out of there.
[He laughs, and does so, handing them to Marge]
Back in the lunches you go. [puts them back into the kids'
lunchbags]
Lisa: Ew, Mom.
Marge: Oh, grow up.
Bart: Yeah.
-- *Lisa* should grow up? "Brother's Little Helper"
% During recess, Bart discovers he isn't the only SES student on some
% sort of medication. Milhouse uses Claritin [an anti-allergy drug].
% Martin is taking hormones to help lower his voice (which has the side-
% effect of raising his aggression). Nelson is forced to wear a shock
% collar.
%
% ... and the entire class has to take a sedative, in the form of a
% poetry appreciation lesson.
Krabappel: All right, class, who would like to read "The
Daffodils," by Wordsworth.
Bart: I'll do it.
Krabappel: No thank you, Mr. Wisenheimer. Sherri.
Sherri: I wandered lonely as a cloud,
That floats on high o'er vales and hills ...
Nelson: Hey, look at those dogs going at it!
[the class crowds over to the window. The point of view
switches to let us see two dogs fighting over something]
Fightin' over a fan belt.
Milhouse: Dogs are outstanding.
Krabappel: All right, children, we've all seen the dogs now, so ...
[turns to see Bart still in his chair] Oh!
Bart: What?
Krabappel: You're still in your seat.
Bart: Well it's not like I've never seen a dog before.
Bart's Brain: That doesn't sound like me. Could it be the drug
kicking in. I am feeling the urge to straighten up and
fly right.
Bart: [sits up] Come on, people, this poetry isn't going to
appreciate itself.
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% After school, Lisa watches "The Krusty the Klown Show." For today's
% sketch, Krusty sits on a bench in the park. Sideshow Mel, dressed in
% a glittering gown and billed as "Sideshow Melanie," walks by. "Ohh La
% La," says Krusty, as his bow tie spins. Then something goes horribly
% awry -- the tie cuts off Krusty's air. He struggles with it, and
% finally is able to loose it from around his neck, and then storms over
% to a stunned technician.
Krusty: What are you doing to me? I said start it at 60 rpm, then
move it up to 100 on the skirt blow.
Tech: Sorry, Krusty, I choked.
Krusty: YOU choked? You choked? [chokes tech]
Lisa: [runs into Bart's room]
Bart, Bart! Krusty just fired his associate producer.
Bart: [looking up from his book] I'm reading.
Lisa: No way. [looks at book cover] The Seven Habits of Highly
Effective Pre-Teens? Is this all because of the ...
[pantomimes gulping pills, and then walking like a zombie]
Bart: Joke if you will, but did you know most people use 10% of
their brains? I am now one of them. Before, my energy was
all over the place. Now, it's concentrated like a laser
beam. [stands up] Well, this has been terrific. Let's do
it again sometime.
Lisa: Are you standing up to get me to leave?
Bart: It's from the book.
Lisa: [reads] Hey, I'm not a time burglar.
Bart: [types in electronic organizer] Memo to self: Lock door.
Lisa: All right, I'll go. You don't have to be a jerk about it.
Bart: [types] Memo to self: Shut up, Lisa.
Lisa: Grrr! [leaves]
-- Highly effective, indeed, "Brother's Little Helper"
% At dinner, Marge finds a note taped to her chair.
Marge: Hmmm. [opens envelope and reads note] "Thank you in advance
for a world-class meal. You're an inspiration to our entire
organization. Thank you again, Bart." Oh, what a lovely
gesture.
Bart: Cost of paper, five cents. A mother's love, priceless.
Marge: Aw.
Homer: Do I get a card?
Bart: No, but here's a book called "Chicken Soup for the Loser"
that gave Bill Buckner the courage to open a chain of
Laundromats.
Homer: Hmmm, my career has kind of lost momentum.
Bart: I think it's the bright blue pants. I mean, you're not on a
golf course.
Homer: Well, I have been thinking about making them into cutoffs.
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% Homer wears his bright blue cutoffs to work the next day.
Homer: I tell you, the kid's a wonder. He organized all the
lawsuits against me into one class action.
Lenny: That's gotta save all kinds of travel time.
Homer: You know it. Plus, he gave me this appointment dealy.
It's got my whole week in there.
Carl: [whistles] Sweet.
Homer: Ah, this thing will do anything. Watch, I'll ask it how
many leagues in a furlong. No wait, I'll make it say,
"Whassamatta, you?" in Turkish. [fiddles with keyboard]
Organizer: [in Turkish] <Whassamatta, you?>
Homer: And look at this -- [pulls out a grater from the side of
the organizer] -- a cheese grater!
Lenny: Man, technology's amazing.
Carl: A guy can do great things with a gadget like that.
Homer: Oh, if you want one, they sell 'em at --
Carl: [interrupts] Yeah, a guy can do great things. [slurps
soda]
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% Back at home, Bart continues his studious ways. He has even found
% time to tutor a Navajo boy, teaching him nursery rhymes from a
% corporate self-improvement perspective. (Humpty Dumpty fell off the
% wall because, "he took his eyes off the prize.")
Homer: He's gone from Goofus to Gallant, and we owe it all to mind-
bending pills. [kisses pill bottle]
Marge: Bart's so well-behaved now. Maybe you and I can have a night
out.
Homer: Ooh! Let's go to the water park! The ten-year ban ended
yesterday.
Marge: I was thinking of something a little more ... adult.
[whispers in Homer's ear]
Homer: Oh, Marge!
Marge: And then afterwards ... [whispers some more]
Homer: [giggles] Really? With butterscotch on it?
Marge: I think you misheard me.
-- Not necessarily, "Brother's Little Helper"
% So Homer and Marge go to see a classic in American cinema:
% "Showgirls." Homer likes the movies obvious attributes, while Marge
% enjoys the relationship between one of the showgirls and her
% seamstress. Their conversation triggers a cascading round of hushes
% from other moviegoers.
%
% When they arrive home, Homer and Marge are surprised to see Lisa, in
% her pajamas, sitting on the front stoop with Maggie.
Lisa: I'm so glad you're here. Bart's really acting funny.
Homer: Ray Jay funny, or O. J. funny?
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% The family heads up to Bart's room, where the boy has been doing some
% redecorating. The ceiling is filled with wire hangers, each dangling
% from a string. Bart, wearing a trash can lid for a helmet, is busy
% wrapping himself in aluminum foil.
Bart: You're probably wondering about the coat hangers. They're to
block the satellite that's been spying on me.
Marge: [with trepidation] Okay ...
Bart: It can read your electric organizer from space.
Homer: Even mine? [Bart takes it and smashes it] Hey, I had
Lenny's name on that!
Bart: They have it now.
Lisa: Who are they, exactly?
Bart: Who else? Major League Baseball.
Homer: [loud whisper] Marge, I think Bart's gone crazy.
Lisa: Oh, Bart, what's happened to you?
Bart: Nothing yet, but the time draws near. [whips out a pair of
pliers] Now let's get those fillings out of you!
[Lisa screams]
Homer: [takes pliers] Hey, you found my needle-nose pliers.
-- Making the best of a bad situation, "Brother's Little Helper"
% Homer and Marge take Bart back to The Pharm Team. Soon, he's running
% on a treadmill, with several electrodes stuck to his body.
Marge: I understand the electrodes, but why does he have to be on
a treadmill?
Pharm. 1: Oh, that was his idea. He said he felt fat.
Marge: Oh.
Pharm. 2: You said he was concerned about satellites?
Marge: And their beams.
Pharm. 2: Any other strange behavior?
Homer: He quit blinking. He says that's when they kill you.
Pharm. 2: I had a feeling that might happen. This carboxyl group
sometimes causes problems. [indicates molecular model]
Homer: And we trusted you! [strangles model]
Marge: I think we should take him off the drug.
Pharm. 1: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't just go off
Focusyn.
Pharm. 2: But we can ease Bart onto one of its sister drugs, like
chlorhexinol, and augment that with some phenobutamine.
Pharm. 1: Hmm, and maybe some cyclobenzinol?
Pharm. 2: That's a great idea! [they kiss]
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% Bart is less than thrilled about the prospect of going off Focusyn.
% The pharmacist offers him three pills of the alternative medicine, but
% Bart yells, "NO!" and slaps the pills away. Then he runs to a big ol'
% jar of Focusyn that happens to be sitting nearby, gobbles several
% pills, and then runs out the door]
Marge: Stop him! He's whacked out of his gourd.
Pharm. 1: Don't worry, we have a procedure for these situations.
[pushes button, and a big container labeled, "Valium"
descends from the ceiling above Homer and Marge. Two
hypodermic needles come down from the sides and inject the
two]
Marge: [relieved] Ahhh.
Homer: Hey, there was just air in mine. [clutches chest and
collapses]
-- The situation is well in hand, "Brother's Little Helper"
% [End of Act Two: Time: 14:27]
%
% Marge and Homer waste no time in searching for their son. The first
% step is to alert the police, and Marge gives a description of Bart to
% the Springfield police. She describes Bart as being tow-headed, with
% a button nose and mischievous smile. The police quickly produce an
% accurate drawing ... of Dennis "the Menace" Mitchell. "Looks like the
% kid who roughed up the Wilson widow," concludes Chief Wiggum.
%
% Marge frets that Bart is in the hot sun without the benefit of his
% sombrero. Homer is more worried about some of the side effects listed
% on the Focusyn bottle, which include paranoid behavior and diarrhea.
%
% Meanwhile, Bart (suffering from a facial tic, but not diarrhea) slips
% onto the grounds of Fort Fragg, an army base near Springfield. Inside
% one of the barracks, two soldiers take showers.
Soldier 1: I can't believe that Sarge said we're the worst bunch he's
ever seen.
Soldier 2: See I have to believe he's seen worse bunches than us.
Soldier 1: But he said --
Soldier 2: I know what he said. He was just trying to motivate us.
Soldier 1: Well, it ruined the whole hike.
[Bart sneaks into the shower room, and goes through the
soldiers' pants. He retrieves a set of keys, chuckles
evilly, and sneaks out]
Soldier 1: Do you think Alex would mind if I asked Janet out?
Soldier 2: They're married, idiot!
Soldier 1: Why'd you have to yell? You ruined the whole shower.
-- The sensitive soldier, "Brother's Little Helper"
% Homer looks through town for his son, but is sidetracked at Moe's
% tavern. Marge sticks her head in the door, and tells her husband to
% focus on finding Bart. Homer assures Marge he's on top of it, since
% he has a trap baited with Focusyn.
%
% But despite their efforts, the Simpsons can find neither hide nor
% hair of Bart.
Marge: Mmmm, my sweet baby. He must feel so helpless and scared.
[or maybe not, for we cut to a scene of Him driving one of
Ft. Fragg's tanks, crushing everything in his path]
Bart: [singing] Don't stop thinking about tomorrow
Don't stop, it'll soon be here ...
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% Burns spies Bart with his binoculars.
Burns: Smithers, we're at war!
Smithers: I'll begin profiteering, sir.
Burns: And hoarding. Leave it to the Democrats to let the
Spaniards back in the pantry.
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% Bart drives past The Android's Dungeon, leaving a wake of crushed
% cars and signs.
Comic Book Guy: Egad -- a maniac cutting a swath of destruction! This
is a job for the Green Lantern, Thundra, or possibly
... Ghost Writer.
Otto: Well, what about Superman?
Comic Book Guy: Oh, please.
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% The tank bears down on Krusty's clown car. With no time to drive out
% of the way, Krusty orders everyone inside to make a break for it. In
% the best clown tradition, an entire troop files out of the tiny
% automobile. The last guy, Sir Widebottom, gets his bottom stuck in
% the door. The tank runs over the car, deflating Widebottom's
% inflatable posterior. He is alive, although he wonders why.
%
% The tank bursts through the Springfield bookmobile, to the approval
% of the town's children. The police are hot on his trail. Wiggum
% orders Lou to shoot the tires out, but is annoyed when Lou points out
% that won't work on a tank.
%
% Bart rolls into the schoolyard at Springfield Elementary.
What a day! First the drinking fountain squirts me, and now this.
-- Principal Skinner, after a tank plows through the schoolyard,
"Brother's Little Helper"
% The rest of the Simpsons have also arrived at SES. Marge stands in
% the path of the tank, in a bid to keep Bart from ramming the school.
Homer: My God, is she brave, standing up to that freaked-out junkie.
Lisa: Dad, that junkie is your son.
Homer: Why don't you just tell everybody?
[the tank comes to a halt just inches from Marge]
Bart: Hey, Mom. Thanks for coming out.
Marge: Oh, thank you for stopping the tank.
Bart: It ran out of gas.
Marge: Oh ... so Bart?
Bart: Question.
Marge: How about getting out of the tank, eh? Maybe stopping your
rampage, eh? We could go to Krustyburger.
Bart: Okay, sure.
Marge: Whew.
Bart: Right after I blow up one thing. [goes back inside the tank]
Marge: Ohh ...
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% The tank's turret swivels and points its gun barrel toward the
% school.
Skinner: [gasps] Good Lord! He's going to fire!
Jimbo: All right! Scud the school, dude!
Krabappel: [flatly] No. Stop. Think of the children.
[the turret points toward the church]
Lovejoy: Not the church! Jesus lives there!
[Bart switches aim toward a frame shop]
Homer: The frame store! You monster!
[now the gun points toward the sky]
Sideshow Mel: Not the sky! That's where clouds are born!
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% But the sky it is. Bart fires, and shortly thereafter a burning
% satellite crashes to the earth. The Springfield VFD swiftly arrives
% at the scene.
Moe: A satellite? What do we do? What do we do?
Ned: [thumbs through manual] Discotheques, Frathouses, Malibu[?]
-- nothing about satellite fires.
Apu: Let's just spray it with water, already.
[does so, and puts the fire out]
-- "Brother's Little Helper"
% Wiggum hauls Bart out of the tank.
Wiggum: That's the end of your Loony Tune, Drugs Bunny. You're
under arrest for astro-vandalism.
Moe: And may God help you if that thing carried the Spice
Channel.
[Marge walks up to the satellite wreckage, and spots the
MLB logo]
Marge: Major League Baseball?
Bart: I told you they were monitoring my activities.
Lenny: [opens the satellite, and pulls a printout from inside]
He's right -- this thing's got info on everybody.
Addresses, credit ratings, what size baseball hat they
wear.
Computer: Surveillance beam disabled. Marketing research, shutting
down. Doesn't that beat all?
[a helicopter lands nearby, and a man steps out]
McGwire: Hi, folks! I'm Mark McGwire.
Computer: Big Mac himself. Who'd have thunk it?
McGwire: Young Bart here is right. We are spying on you, pretty
much around the clock.
Bart: But why, Mr. McGwire?
McGwire: Do you want to know the terrifying truth, or do you want to
see me sock a few dingers?
Crowd: Dingers! Dingers!
[McGwire hits the long ball]
Oooh!
McGwire: [takes printout] Yoink!
[tucks it under his hat and looks around, suspiciously]
-- Someone call Fox Mulder, "Brother's Little Helper"
% At the Simpson residence, things seem to have returned to normal.
Lisa: [hugs Bart] It's good to have the old Bart back. Plus, he's
exposed the disturbing unreadiness of today's army.
Marge: Oh, Bart, I'm so sorry we sent you on that psychotropic
hayride.
Bart: At least I got to see some cool colors.
Homer: And Mark McGwire gave you an autographed bat.
[holds up a bat, which has McGwire's signature and the number
70 (commemorating the number of home runs he hit in one year)
on it]
Lisa: Why is the zero made of glass?
[cut to a shot from behind the glass. We can see the family
in fisheye view. Demographic information appears on the
screen]
Homer: Who cares? That man can really slug.
[cut to normal view]
Marge: Well, I'm not going to give my baby any more dangerous drugs.
From now on, it's nothing but fresh air, lots of hugs, and
good old-fashioned Ritalin.
[hands Bart some Ritalin]
Bart: You said a mouthful. [takes pills]
[singing to the tune of "Popeye, the Sailor Man"]
When I can't stop my fiddlin'
I just takes me Ritalin
I'm poppin' and sailin', man!
[two toots of steam come out his ears]
-- He yis what he yis, "Brother's Little Helper"
% Iris out on Bart.
%
% [End of Act Three. Time: 20:14]
%
% The closing sound bite is the Gracie Lady "Shh," followed by the
% first Soldier saying, "Oh why'd you have to shush? You ruined the
% whole show."
==============================================================================
> Contributors
==============================================================================
{ac} Aerin Caputo
{av} Art Vandelay
{aw} Alexander Woods
{bjr} Benjamin Robinson
{bm} Bill McNeal
{cg} Curtis Gibby
{cj} Carl Johnson
{cp} Chris Palm
{cw} Chris Wallace
{db} David Brunt
{ddg} Don Del Grande
{dj} Darrel Jones
{ds} Dave Sibley
{eef} E. E. Fooner
{er} Evan Ross
{es} Eric Sansoni
{hl} Haynes Lee
{jc} Jeff Cross
{jg} Joe Green
{jj} John Jensen
{jk} Joe Klemm
{jr} Jeremy Reaban
{mm} Michael Morbius
{ol} Ondre Lombard
{rg} Richard Green
{th} Tony Hill
{wb} Wilson Banswell
==============================================================================
> Legal Mumbo Jumbo
==============================================================================
This episode capsule is Copyright 1999 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be
redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current
maintainer (caps...@snpp.com). All quoted material and episode summaries
remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All
other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The
transcript itself is Copyright 1999 Benjamin Robinson. This capsule has been
brought to you by The Pharm Team.
This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie,
Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are
today.
--
Benjamin Robinson bj...@freenet.tlh.fl.us
This message may or may not contain sarcastic content; your burden to decide
"If you're alive, then why aren't you living?" -- Embrace