ANNOUNCING: The Simpsons Code Version 1.0!
David Kendall
the following code in your .sig, in your .plan file, in your cereal
for that scrum-diddly-umtious taste to tell how much of a fan you are,
who your favorite characters are, etc.
This is very much a work in its infancy, so I would appreciate
comments, suggestions to add or subtract, requests for more apples in
the vending machines, to my address, and who knows? The next version
might be out faster than you can say D'oh!
The Code:
Start the code by identifying it with an S1.0 . The S is for bargain
- no sorry, the S is for Simpsons, and the 1.0 is the version number.
The Characters:
Use these modifiers with the character codes following:
--- Cannot tolerate this character at all. Starting a petition to
get this character removed from the show.
-- Don't like the character.
- Wish this character wasn't on the show as much.
0 or plain code: No real feelings either way about this character
+ Like this character.
++ Big fan of the character.
+++ Cheer for this character. My "raison d' etre". Pay attention to
every word this character utters.
In addition to the above, add one of these where it applies:
> Want to be more like this charcter. ("Be like the boy!")
@ Look/sound like this character (yellow skin optional)
(@) I don't look or sound like this character, but I do a good
vocal/visual impression of this character
* Behave like this character in real life.
! Attracted to this character
Homer J. Simpson: HOM
Marge Simpson: MRG
Bart Simpson: BAR
Lisa Simpson: LIS
Maggie Simpson: MAG
Santa's Little Helper: SLH
{alternatively, to make your Simpsons Code shorter, you could group
the whole Simpsons clan into the code OFF, with the appropriate symbol
following the OFF}.
Grampa Simpson: ABE
Patty & Selma: P&S
Charles Montgomery Burns: BUR
Smithers: SMI
Skinner: SKI
Otto: OTT
Milhouse: MIL
Martin: MTN
Barney: BNY
Ned Flanders: NED
Maude Flanders: MAU
{Or alternatively, to save space, you can indicate all the
Flanderseseses with the code FLA with the appropriate symbols
following}
Hans Moleman: MOL
Apu Nahasametapetalon: APU
Krusty: KRU
Sideshow Bob: BOB
Sideshow Mel: MEL
Itchy & Scratchy: I&S
Troy McClure: TRO
John Frink: FRI
Pimple-faced teen: TEE
So your Simpsons Code does not get out of control, you should limit
the characters in your Code to the necessary few that you want to tell
the world your feelings about.
If you want to include a character that isn't on this list, just type
the name: ie.
Mrs. Kraboppel+
Other activites that are nonetheless important:
For the following categories, you can use these modifiers in
conjunction with the code:
/ My opinion ranges between these two.
> I want to work towards achieving this.
Fandom:
f--- Simpsons fans are pathetic! They need to grow up and quit
watching cartoons!
f-- The show is disgusting
f- The show is beyond me
f No feelings about the show
f+ I watch it when I can
f++ I watch every episode
f+++ I have every episode on tape. I know all the little bits of
information about every episode. I live, breathe, and eat Simpsons.
I wish they put me in the show.
Internet activities:
Alt.tv.simpsons activity:
n--- The Simpsons fans on the 'Net are the worse kinds! They're a
bunch of no-brained geeks.
n-- I post on a.t.s every day - to flame
n- I don't subscribe to the group, nor would I ever want to
n No feelings about the newsgroup
n+ I read a.t.s messages as often as I can
n++ I post on a.t.s every day.
n+++ I contribute to every thread on the group, everybody on a.t.s
knows who I am.
Informational documents (FTP, screen grabs, etc.)
Begin this with an I and combine the following (eg. Iflo)
f I have a Simpsons FTP site
l I post Simpsons lists (eg "The Marge File", "Episode List", etc.)
b I have a Simpsons-related BBS
p I have Simpsons pictures (fan art, screen grabs)
s I have Simpsons .wav files
o other
Cash
Money spent on Simpsons merchandise (which is a good way to spend it)
during your life
$ $0-20
$+ $20-50
$++ $50-100
$+++ $100-300
$++++ $300-1000 (I hope your cel is better than Bart's Itchy and
Scratchy cel)
$+++++ over $1000 (now there's a dedicated fan!)
Favorite episode
Enter the production number (ie 7G15). If more than one (as most of
us fans can't be nailed down to one episode), enter the numbers
separated by a comma (ie 7G15, 2F08)
Personal
Enter your gender and age, M for male, F for female (ie M17). If you
want to give the year of your birth, saving you updating it every
year, you can, such as F1969.
By now, your code should look something like this (yes, this is mine):
S1.0 HOM+ MRG BAR++ ABE+ BUR+ NED+ MOL++ APU++(@) I&S++ f++/+++ n+ Io
$ 8F02,7F04 M23
Wasn't that easy?
My thanks to Dave Hall for having my ideas bounced off him and his
encouragement to get off my lazy yellow butt and post this thing.
Copyright 1996 David Kendall. This is a parody of "The Geek Code" and
all the other parodies of that, and therefore legal. Nyah! If you
plan on publishing this, creating a derivitive work, putting it on a
Web site, swimming from Seattle to Los Angeles backwards, or anything
else of the ilk, let me know or I'll send the Flanders family over to
sing to you their favorite songs.