Simpsons censorship -- now the truth can be told!
Benjamin Robinson
CEO Rupert Murdoch has extensively bugged the Fox headquarters at Century City.
The reason, of course, is to ferret out disloyal subordinates. Murdoch listens
to a few random tapes himself ("It's a hobby for him, like golf," says one
anonymous insider), but the bulk of the work is done by a cadre of trusted
grunts. Well, maybe not so trustworthy after all, because one of the tapes has
been leaked. Many of you remember the dust-up that happened a couple months ago
when "Sunday, Cruddy Sunday (AABF08)" was censored to omit an allegedly
offensive Catholic joke. Now, for the first time, we can present the true story
of what happened that afternoon between "Simpsons" producer Mike Scully, and Fox
executive Roland McFarland.
[sound of intercom buzzing]
Secretary: [over intercom] Mr. McFarland?
McFarland: Yes?
Secretary: There's a Mike Sully --
Scully: [over intercom] Scully.
Secretary: Mike Scully here to see you, sir.
McFarland: Yeah, okay. Send him in.
[door opens]
Hey, Mike, come in. Why don't you have a seat?
Scully: All right. [door closes] So what's this about?
McFarland: Uh, well, it's about the Super Bowl episode you guys had.
Apparently there's this group, this Legion of Doom,
[pause] no, wait, that doesn't sound right. [papers
rustling] Ah, there's this League of Decency out
there, and they're up in arms over some commercial you
guys did.
Scully: Uh, huh.
McFarland: Now I, I, want to make it clear, here. I caught that
show, and I thought it was terrific. Really great,
great, stuff.
Scully: Thanks. But ...
McFarland: But, I want you to make a change.
Scully: Yeah, I could hear this one coming.
McFarland: Oh, so we're on the same page, then. Well, what I'm
proposing is that you drop "Catholics" out of there,
out of the commercial, and put someone else in.
Scully: What?
McFarland: Like the Baptists, maybe.
Scully: I don't get. Aren't you just offending a different group
of people that way?
McFarland: Mike, have you seen the numbers since that show aired?
Our demos among Catholics are up 52%. Everyone's tuning
in to see what the fuss is about. If we air that again,
were not getting any extra bounce. We need to hit a new
target.
Scully: You want me to deliberately offend people?
McFarland: Not "offend," Mike, just tweak them a little. How about
Lutherans? We're underperforming in that market.
Scully: Jeez, I can't believe what I'm hearing. I'm not doing
it. I'd sooner get rid of the word "Catholic" altogether.
McFarland: [pause] Hey. That's perfect!
Scully: Huh?
McFarland: Every group would think the joke was meant for them.
They'd all protest -- jeez, you can't buy publicity like
that.
Scully: Oh, now this is beyond ridiculous. [sound of someone
getting up] Call me when you feel like making sense.
McFarland: Look, Mike, if you weren't willing to go the distance,
you shouldn't have brought it up.
Scully: *I* shouldn't --
McFarland: Either your guys take care of it, or we do. It's your choice.
Scully: Fine. We'll take care of it.
McFarland: That's what I needed to know. Boy, first Matt, and now
you. I don't know why it's so hard to play ball with
you guys. You should be more like Seth [McFarlane]. He
cooperates with us, and we gave him the prime 9:00
Thursday slot.
Scully: Uh, sir?
McFarland: Yeah?
Scully: That's when "Frasier" airs. You know, NBC ... must-see
TV ... graveyard for all other shows.
McFarland: Really? Jeez, I've gotta start watching TV more often.
Scully: Yeah, great. Look, I have to talk to the people in
audio --
McFarland: Oh, yeah. And thanks, Mike. The network really
appreciates it, we really do.
Scully: [unintelligible]
[door slam]
Remeber, you heard it here first!
--
Benjamin Robinson bj...@freenet.tlh.fl.us
This message may or may not contain sarcastic content; your burden to decide
"You know, we can save fifteen credits if we don't bother to shield that
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