Groundskeeper Willy Quotes (repost)
Dave Hall
COOL GROUNDSKEEPER WILLY QUOTES...
Compiled by Dave Hall (dave...@escape.ca)
Compiled from 10 zillion alt.tv.simpsons articles, and verified when
possible from the episode capsules, the following are Groundskeeper Willy
quotes and scenes everyone seems to love...
"Ach! Back to the loch with ye, Nessie!"
"Ach! Don't feel bad for loosin', I' was wrestin' wolves back when you
were at your mother's teat!"
"Angus, we've got work ta do!"
"Argh! I'll kill that Mr. Burns! And, er, wound that Mr. Smithers."
"Argh! Oh, I'm bad at this."
"Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys!"
"Deeper! Wider! Faster! I' wouldn't bury me turtle in that mud puddle!
Bah! What's the use..."
"Don't worry about your wee fish, lass. They're goin' to a better place."
"Eh, yer lucky yer gettin' a decent burial. Me own father got thrown in
the bog."
"Get your Haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee
sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds."
"Girls! ...Outta hole!"
"Hey wolfie, put down that hors d'oeuvre ...its time for the main course!"
"I did not cry when me own father was hung for stealing a pig, but I'll
cry now."
"I made millions in software and lost it at the track. Ach!"
"I said `Make way for Willy,' you bloated gasbag."
"I' get ya Bart Simpson ...if it's last thing I doo!"
"I'll strike where you canna' protect them -- in their dreams!"
"I'm doing all the pulling, ye blouse-wearing poodle walker!"
"If I don't save the wee turtles, who will?!"
"If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the whole lot of ye and
burn your town to cinders."
"If it were not a violation of God's law, I'd make ye my wife."
"If your Dad goes gaga, you just use that shin of yours to call me and
I'll come a running. But don't be reading my mind between four and five
-- That's Willy's time!"
"Make way for Willy!"
"Me mule wouldn't work in the mud ...So I had to put seventeen bullets in
him!"
"My hobby is secretly video-taping couples in cars. I did not come
forward because in this country it makes you look like a pervert, but
every single Scottish person does it!"
"No, no, go easy on the wee one. His father's going to go crazy and chop
'em all into haggis!"
"Now the kilt was only for day-to-day wear. In battle, we donned a
full-length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your
opponent with luxury."
"Outta' the way, look-out ya horse's arse!"
"See you in hell, you wingless bloodsuckers."
"Save me from the wee turtles! They were too quick for me!"
"Sounds like that gopher I caught in me lawn mower!"
"Sounds like trouble brewin' at the old well."
"There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman."
"There...pretty as a picture. Ack! Zombies! ...There, pretty as a
picture."
"'Tis more dizzyin' than the belfry at St. Caliga Glenwalgens."
"'Tis no more than what God gave me, you puritan pukes!"
"When I'm done with you, they'll have to do a compost-mortem!"
"When ya alone and life is gettin' you lonely, you can always go ...Ach!
Doontoon!"
"You used me, Skinner! You used me!"
===============================================================================
Some Groundskeeper Willy Scenes (verified from the episode capsules when
possible)...
[8F24]
Skinner: Make sure to give those toilets a good scrubbing, we want the old
girl sparkling when I get back.
Willy: Aye sir ...ya silk-wearin' buttercup.
[9F01]
Lovejoy: How's that door coming, Willy?
Willy: Miracles are your department, Reverend!
[9F13]
Skinner: This orange drink is the only way to recoup our terrible losses
from Fire drill Follies. I just don't know what went wrong.
Willy: You'd open the show with a fire drill and everybody cleared out.
Skinner: Hmm, some mother was right, it was my fault.
Go ahead, water it down some more.
Willy: My God, man, I'd watered it down as far as she'll go. I can not
water no more.
[9F18]
Skinner: Would the world judge me harshly if I throw away the key?
Willy: No, but the PTA would tear you a new arse!
[9F18]
Skinner: Now we give them the bikes -- no one sues!
Willy: What if they're dead, sir?
Skinner: Then we ride these bikes to Mexico...and freedom, Willy! Freedom!
Willy: Freedom! Ach! I'd turn ya in at the first toll booth.
[1F18]
Skinner: Willy, go into the vent and get him.
Willy: What? Have you gone waxy in your peaster? I cannot fit in
tha' wee vent, you croquet-playing mint muncher.
Skinner: Grease yourself up and go in, you...you guff-speaking work-slacker.
Willy: Oh, good comeback.
[1F18]
Willy: Lunchlady Doris, have ye got any grease?
Doris: Yes...yes we do.
Willy: [rips shirt off] Then grease me up woman!
Doris: [pause] Okay dokey.
[2F03]
Willy: Boy, you read my thoughts! You've got the Shinning.
Bart: You mean "Shining".
Willy: Shhh! You want to get sued?
[2F04]
Willy: If I don't save the wee turtles, who will?!
[comes out covered in turtles]
Aah! Save me from the wee turtles!
They were too quick for me!
[2F20]
Willy: If you'll check me medical records, you'll see I have a cripplin'
arthritis in me index fingers. Look at 'em!
I got it from "Space Invaders" in 1977.
Wiggum: Aw, yeah. That was a pretty addictive video game.
Willy: Video game?!
[3F03]
Skinner: Two independent thought alarms in one day.
The students are over stimulated. Willy! Remove all the coloured
chalk from the classrooms.
Willy: I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya?! That coloured chalk was forged by
Lucifer himself!
===============================================================================
[This document was compiled by Dave Hall (dave...@escape.ca)]
===============================================================================
Curtis Gibby
Dave Hall <dave...@escape.ca> wrote in message
news:rr5ji7...@corp.supernews.com...
>
========================================================================
=======
>
> COOL GROUNDSKEEPER WILLY QUOTES...
You forgot:
"Willy hears ye. Willy don't care..."
Nicolas Bray
On Thu, 12 Aug 1999, Dave Hall wrote:
> "If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the whole lot of ye and
> burn your town to cinders."
you cut out the best part!
Willy: If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the whole lot of
you and burn your town to cinders.
Workman: [whispering] The mike's on.
Willy: I know it's on!
David G. Dugal
wrote:
>===============================================================================
>
>COOL GROUNDSKEEPER WILLY QUOTES...
>Compiled by Dave Hall (dave...@escape.ca)
...
>"Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys!"
Is it "surrender monkeys" or "cylinder monkeys"? According to
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/2F32.html it's "cylinder", but according
to http://www.snpp.com/guides/simian.refs.html it "surrender". Any
tie breakers? By my ear, it's "cylinder."
- Dave
Jason
sense...i don't really know how cylinder makes any sense...but i guess
it could...maybe...no...
"David G. Dugal" wrote:
>
> On Thu, 12 Aug 1999 13:39:38 GMT, dave...@escape.ca (Dave Hall)
> wrote:
>
> >===============================================================================
> >
> >COOL GROUNDSKEEPER WILLY QUOTES...
> >Compiled by Dave Hall (dave...@escape.ca)
> ...
> >"Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys!"
>
> Is it "surrender monkeys" or "cylinder monkeys"? According to
> http://www.snpp.com/episodes/2F32.html it's "cylinder", but according
> to http://www.snpp.com/guides/simian.refs.html it "surrender". Any
> tie breakers? By my ear, it's "cylinder."
>
> - Dave
--
"why do they call me mr. happy?"
-nomeansno
--remove nospam yadda yadda yadda--
Rod Harnett
Dave Hall
>dave...@escape.ca (Dave Hall) wrote:
>>
>>COOL GROUNDSKEEPER WILLY QUOTES...
>>Compiled by Dave Hall (dave...@escape.ca)
>>"Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys!"
>
>http://www.snpp.com/episodes/2F32.html it's "cylinder", but according
>to http://www.snpp.com/guides/simian.refs.html it "surrender". Any
>tie breakers? By my ear, it's "cylinder."
Believe it or not that line is one of the top misquoted lines on
a.t.s. When I compiled that list I actually reviewed each quote by
ear. On that particular quote I consulted James Cherry, the capsule
maintainer for 2F32. However, I can't seem to recall what we agreed
upon. :-( What I usually did in cases such is this is take the major
rule.
--
"That's for the courts to decide!"
-- Homer J. Simpson
Turtleman
the stress in 'cylinder' goes on the first, but does go on the second in
'surrender'. Doesn't make sense that he'd mispronounce it, unless this
was one of those scenes where they exaggerate Willy's Scottish
pronunciation for comedy, which I don't think it was.
Jason wrote:
>
> well, if it's a slag to the french then "surrender" would make more
> sense...i don't really know how cylinder makes any sense...but i guess
> it could...maybe...no...
>
> "David G. Dugal" wrote:
> >
> > On Thu, 12 Aug 1999 13:39:38 GMT, dave...@escape.ca (Dave Hall)
> > wrote:
> >
> > >===============================================================================
> > >
> > >COOL GROUNDSKEEPER WILLY QUOTES...
> > >Compiled by Dave Hall (dave...@escape.ca)
> > ...
> > >"Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys!"
> >
> > Is it "surrender monkeys" or "cylinder monkeys"? According to
> > http://www.snpp.com/episodes/2F32.html it's "cylinder", but according
> > to http://www.snpp.com/guides/simian.refs.html it "surrender". Any
> > tie breakers? By my ear, it's "cylinder."
> >
Alan Hamilton
wrote:
>>Is it "surrender monkeys" or "cylinder monkeys"? According to
>>http://www.snpp.com/episodes/2F32.html it's "cylinder", but according
>>to http://www.snpp.com/guides/simian.refs.html it "surrender". Any
>>tie breakers? By my ear, it's "cylinder."
>
>Believe it or not that line is one of the top misquoted lines on
>a.t.s. When I compiled that list I actually reviewed each quote by
>ear. On that particular quote I consulted James Cherry, the capsule
>maintainer for 2F32. However, I can't seem to recall what we agreed
>upon. :-( What I usually did in cases such is this is take the major
>rule.
I'll have to go with "surrender", as a jab at the French's poor
performance in WWII.
Like Truman's remarks about "those who fought so poorly, and
surrendered so quickly".
--
/
/ * / Alan Hamilton
* * al...@primenet.com
dogbertcarroll
Turtleman <screw...@turtles.net> wrote in message
news:37BC52...@turtles.net...
> Yeah... he clearly puts the the stress on the second syllable. I think
> the stress in 'cylinder' goes on the first, but does go on the second in
> 'surrender'. Doesn't make sense that he'd mispronounce it, unless this
> was one of those scenes where they exaggerate Willy's Scottish
> pronunciation for comedy, which I don't think it was.
>
> Jason wrote:
> >
> > well, if it's a slag to the french then "surrender" would make more
> > sense...i don't really know how cylinder makes any sense...but i guess
> > it could...maybe...no...
> >
> > "David G. Dugal" wrote:
> > >
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > >
>===========================================================================
====
> > > >
> > > >COOL GROUNDSKEEPER WILLY QUOTES...
> > > >Compiled by Dave Hall (dave...@escape.ca)
> > > >"Bonjour, you cheese-eating surrender monkeys!"
> > >
> > > http://www.snpp.com/episodes/2F32.html it's "cylinder", but according
> > > to http://www.snpp.com/guides/simian.refs.html it "surrender". Any
> > > tie breakers? By my ear, it's "cylinder."
> > >
> >
> > --
> > "why do they call me mr. happy?"
> > -nomeansno
> >
> > --remove nospam yadda yadda yadda--
--
People like to make fun of the french because of how easily they
surrendered to the Germans.
I would have to say that it is "surrender monkeys".
TC dogb...@ysa.attmil.ne.jp Wondering why his spell check commitied
suicide
<My net connection losses abought 3 out of 5 posts so if you would like a
response e-mail me here as well as post>