Crimes on Seinfeld
Andy MacAskill
I've been thinking the most serious crime we've seen by members of the
Seinfeld Gang of Four is Jerry's mugging of the lady for her marble rye.
Pursuant to New York State's Penal Law Section 160.05, that would be
robbery in the third degree, a "class D felony." Thus, and assuming
Jerry is a "first-time" felony offender(!), pursuant to Section 70.00,
he would have gotten a cool two-and-a-third to seven somewhere upstate.
(Of course, we can't have that; anyway, had he been caught he probably
would have gotten to plea to a class A misdemeanor and been sentenced to
three years' probation.)
What other crimes have we seen on our favorite show, by any of The Four
or by anyone else either in a secondary (the families, Newman, Susan) or
in a minor role?
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--------------
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I'M YOUR EYES WHEN YOU MUST STEAL
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SAD BUT TRUE
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Judy Walker
In <chauer-ya02408000...@news.primenet.com>
cha...@primenet.com writes:
>
>What about the show where Elaine, Newman and Krammer "dog"-nap?
And what about Jerry calling in a bomb threat when George was trapped
under his desk?
M. Lieberman
My additions:
=============
*** Stealing Government Property = David Berkowitz's(sp) Mail Bag
*** Depraved indifference causing death [Learned that from L&O] =
selling toxic wedding invitations
*** Conversion of property = the dry cleaner who wears customer's
clothes
*** Fraud = lying about being married to gain a reduction in cleaning
bills
*** Fraud = impersonating O'Brian to gain free transportation
*** Theft = George stealing from the drug store to correct the incorrect
change he thought he got
*** Speeding = Jerry uses beautiful woman to avoid speeding ticket
*** Parking by a fire hydrant = at end of handicapped parking spot
episode
*** Cuban cigars - I am not sure about this one but didn't Kramer have
some and aren't they illegal in the US?
*** Fraud = at least attempted when George claims to be a member of a
deceased's
family to gain a reduction in ait fare
*** ????
Plus previous postings:
=======================
*** And what about Jerry calling in a bomb threat when George was
trapped
under his desk?
*** Assault = George pulled the plug at the hospital
*** Parking in a Handicap Zone
*** Public Urination (in a parking garage)
*** Stealing lobsters out of traps
*** Breaking into a Car (George's to get bird poop cleaned off it)
*** Kramer's impersonation of a police officer to break in and steal
"The
Statue"
*** Voyeurism (in "The Contest")
*** And the Bootlegging (sp
*** Don't forget Jerry, at Kramer's urging, committed mail fraud by
claiming
damage to some electronic device!
*** Jerry's Video Pirating
*** Kramer, Newman, and Elaine kidnapped the dog in "The Engagement";
*** Newman accumulated a large number of traffic violations in "The
Scofflaw",
*** Elaine attacked the bad-breaker-upper in "The Andrea Doria".
*** Jerry's mugging of the lady for her marble rye.
*** ...
M. Lieberman
M. Lieberman wrote:
Oh Yes...
*** Stealing cable signal
THEDYNES
More Crimes commited on Seinfeld?
Not mentioned so far:
Parking in a Handicap Zone
Statue"
And I'm sure there are many, many more
Jerry
Amy Roper
In article <33C054...@ix.netcom.com>, snap...@ix.netcom.com says...
>
>Andy MacAskill wrote:
>>
>> I've been thinking the most serious crime we've seen by members of the
rye.
>> What other crimes have we seen on our favorite show, by any of The
Four
>> or by anyone else either in a secondary (the families, Newman, Susan)
or
>> in a minor role?
>
>Kramer, Newman, and Elaine kidnapped the dog in "The Engagement"; Newman
>accumulated a large number of traffic violations in "The Scofflaw",
>Elaine attacked the bad-breaker-upper in "The Andrea Doria".
>--
> John, A.K.A.
>
Kramer involved Jerry in a mail-fraud scheme by smashing up his stereo,
mailing it, & filing a claim against the postal service. Kramer also
attempted to steal Elaine's file from a doctor's office. George
committed fraud against the unemployment agency by making false claims
of attempts to find work & giving Jerry's number as "Vandalay
Industries." And a small joke in one episodes reveals that George is
an umbrella theif as he regularly takes umbrellas from the metal cans in
the coffee shops so he doesn't have to buy one (though he claimed
ignorance on that one).
Amy
Unknown
Theft or Vandalism?: Kramer stealing silicate packets to damage
clothes in the store (forgot name of episode)
___________________________
Nick Elrod
nel¿SPAM?r...@hotmail.com
(de-SPAM to reply)
ChiGirl676
>> What other crimes have we seen on our favorite show, by any of The Four
>> or by anyone else either in a secondary (the families, Newman, Susan)
or
>> in a minor role?
- Illegal parking in a handicapped spot!
- participating in illegal cockfights!
Curt Phillips
Newman was squirrelling away mail instead of delivering it in
one episode, which is a violation of Federal law.
--
========== Opinions expressed are solely those of the author ===========
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Engineer/Writer/Atlanta Braves fan|have been penalized big-time, join me
Chairman, Tar Heel Scanner/SWL Grp|in a class action suit against every
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==== cphi...@pobox.com ====== [Copyright 1997 All rights reserved]====
Billy Still
Curt Phillips wrote:
>
> "M. Lieberman" <lieb...@ican.NOSPAM.net> wrote:
> >M. Lieberman wrote:
> >Oh Yes...
> >*** Stealing cable signal
>
> Newman was squirrelling away mail instead of delivering it in
> one episode, which is a violation of Federal law.
>
Harboring a fugitive -- George lets his escapee girlfriend stay at his
apartment.
--
Because of the growing threat of spam, to reply by email,
please remove the "nospam." from the address above.
Billy Still
I also just thought of one more . . . Elaine commits credit card fraud.
In the episode where she charges everything to the J.Peterman company
and has to go to find Mr. Peterman to get him to sign off on George's
sable hat.
Clanceman
In article <33C025...@worldnet.att.net>,
MacAski...@worldnet.att.net says...
>
>What other crimes have we seen on our favorite show, by any of The Four
>or by anyone else either in a secondary (the families, Newman, Susan) or
>in a minor role?
>--
Not that we actually saw it, but Crazy Joe Duvola's attack on Kramer was
probably the most violent crime. Good thing he was wearing that helmet.
Clanceman
Amy Roper
In article <33C229...@nospam.worldweb.net>,
ckbs...@nospam.worldweb.net says...
>
>Curt Phillips wrote:
>>
>> "M. Lieberman" <lieb...@ican.NOSPAM.net> wrote:
>> >M. Lieberman wrote:
>> >Oh Yes...
>> >*** Stealing cable signal
>>
>> Newman was squirrelling away mail instead of delivering it in
>> one episode, which is a violation of Federal law.
>>
>
>Harboring a fugitive -- George lets his escapee girlfriend stay at his
>apartment.
>
Not truly a crime, but George attempted to steal Mrs. Seinfeld's
purse (after asking for it & Jerry's folks not taking him seriously),
but did not succeed in the Van Buren Boys episode.
Amy
jodi hambleton
Kramer was getting free cable in one episode. In another episode he was
going to help Jerry get it. Don't know the names of the episodes.
Jodi
Bob Bermuda Schwartz
>These are just a few I could think of.
Attempting to import banned Cuban cigars.
Smoking in a building that doesn't have smoke detectors or sprinklers.
Shoplifting.
Stealing an extra $10,000 from J. Peterman for golf clubs. Destroying
the golf clubs, which are items of historical interest.
Loitering (waiting for George or Kramer to come by with a car).
Urinating in a public parking garage.
Violation of numerous airline regulations regarding the carrying of
large items. Or rather large boxes with cheap items inside.
Andy MacAskill
SJF403 wrote:
>
> ok,here's my few I thought of.
>
> When George and Jerry were in the cop car in L.A. in "The Trip", they left
> the car door open and the real murderer escaped from the car. Aiding and
> abeding?
Definitely not, I would think: Generally, there has to be a "criminal
intent" ("MENS REA," the lawyers call it) to be charged with aiding and
abetting a crime such as escape.
AlkMal
Newman uses the mail vans on Mother's Day to transport bottles to Michigan
with Kramer.
co...@bellsouth.net
Gail Thaler wrote:
>
> Curt Phillips wrote:
> >
> > "M. Lieberman" <lieb...@ican.NOSPAM.net> wrote:
> > >M. Lieberman wrote:
> > >Oh Yes...
> > >*** Stealing cable signal
> >
> > Newman was squirrelling away mail instead of delivering it in
> > one episode, which is a violation of Federal law.
> >
>
> Kramer, Newman and Eleane: dognapping
>
> Jerry mugged that old lady to get the last marble cake
> or whatever from the bakery to replace the one that
> was taken from George's fiance's mother's house.
>
> Wearing a pirate shirt on the Today show isn't technically
> a crime....
Kramer using a scanner radio in NYC to listen to the fire department.
Illegal in NYC.
John ''SNAP!!!MAN'' Thorpe
Also, Kramer parking in a doctor's parking space pretending to be a
proctologist, thanks to his ASSMAN license plates.
--
John, A.K.A.
______ __ ______ ______ __ __ __ ________ ______ __
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/___ // /\ \/ // __ // ____//_//_//_// // // // __ // /\ \/ /
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/_____//_/ \//_/ /_//_/ /_//_//_//_//_//_//_/ /_//_/ \/
jam
Michael L. Lerner wrote:
>
> Gail Thaler <scri...@best.com> wrote:
>
> >> >*** Stealing cable signal
> >> Newman was squirrelling away mail instead of delivering it in
> >> one episode, which is a violation of Federal law.
> >Jerry mugged that old lady to get the last marble cake
>
> Newman being the scofflaw...
> Didn't Jerry get arrested for prostitution in one episode?
> And Kramer got arrested for being a pimp.
>
> Mike
People in newsgroups shoul quote previous posts or we're just gonna keep
repeating the same ones over and over. Every single crime listed in my
quote was previously listed in this thread, probably before these new
people came into it.
It's stupid and frustrating, espeicially when we're listing things.
jam
Rossevelli
After perusing the numerous counts against our gang.... I have to recoil
in horror! What an unsavory bunch these fiends are!
Annie MacRae
How about Jerry mugging the old woman for her marble rye?? There was
also parking in the handicapped spot, peeing in the carpark, taking the
big screen TV back to the store instead of giving it to the woman in the
wheelchair and probably a few more. They're really a bunch of pretty
mean people, aren't they? I guess that's one of the things that makes it
so funny.
Single White Male
On Tue, 8 Jul 1997, Billy Still wrote:
> Curt Phillips wrote:
> >
> > "M. Lieberman" <lieb...@ican.NOSPAM.net> wrote:
> > >M. Lieberman wrote:
> > >Oh Yes...
> > >*** Stealing cable signal
> >
> > Newman was squirrelling away mail instead of delivering it in
> > one episode, which is a violation of Federal law.
> >
>
> Harboring a fugitive -- George lets his escapee girlfriend stay at his
> apartment.
>
>
> --
> Because of the growing threat of spam, to reply by email,
> please remove the "nospam." from the address above.
>
>
Here's one I bet nobody thought of. When Jerry and George are riding in
the police car on "The Trip" the police let them turn on the siren "just
for fun." This is against the law. Also, I'm not sure, but what about
the time George yells out "He's got a gun!" in a crowded theater during
Jerry's monologue, causing massive panic?
Kevin Brooks
I'm not sure if anyone's added this, sorry if anyone has. The only one
I can think of right now: Mail fraud when Kramer sent Jerry's broken
stereo through the mail, highly insured and smashed it up. Newman
almost had them
-Kevin
========================================================================
"Take a walk outside your mind" -Aerosmith, "Welcome to the jungle" -GNR
=============== What happened to good old classic rock? =©1997 KTB Inc.=
stuart a. cilo
In article <33C6EE...@cts.com>, lba...@cts.com says...
>
>Kramer steals lobsters from the traps.
illegal urinating...say no more.,
michael davies
In article <dmh6981-1907...@xyp78.acns.fsu.edu>, dmh...@garnet.acns.fsu.edu (Daryl Hultman) says:
>
>I think George or Kramer attempted to steal an item from a store. However,
>they got nailed for it. Does anyone know what item they tried to steal?
george tried to steal $10 worth of medicine because the cashier gave him
change for a $10 when he gave her a $20.
Michael davies
mis...@epix.net
James & Pamela Weger
Has anybody mentioned George slipping his ex-boss a Mickey?
Alan Ganapol
PBJI...
The episode where Elaine steals the manikin (sp?) based on her likeness.
Alan Ganapol
Lederman
George shoplifts the stuff for Jerry and gets caught...
same episode...
Jerry gets caught with the hooker in his apartment....
They have the same policmen, "Where does he get off, theres no excuse for that ..."
Josh
Arncoinc
The best "crime" on Seinfeld was when Jerry and George both get caught in
the act of public urination. And the excuses --- "..have a public
urination license..
Also, what was the name of the "disease" that Jerry supposedly had?
Marc
AlkMal
>>Didn't Kramer induldge in some cock fighting at some stage?
>>
>
>I should think not!!
>But, Little Jerry did.
>
>
ROTFL, Ratboy!
Dave
>Didn't Kramer induldge in some cock fighting at some stage?
>
I should think not!!
But, Little Jerry did.
--------------------------------------------
rat...@ibm.net
(Hammer nail here--> <-- for a new monitor.)
(Remove XXXX to reply)
Single White Male
On 20 Jul 1997, Daryl Hultman wrote:
> I think George or Kramer attempted to steal an item from a store. However,
> they got nailed for it. Does anyone know what item they tried to steal?
>
>
George stole something from a drug store to get even with the cashier for
short changing him I think. It was something that Jerry wanted but
couldn't afford-- I think it was some sort of pain killer or something.
shelby
i think it was uromysiticis(sp?)
LEGGGS
>>Didn't Kramer induldge in some cock fighting at some stage?
>>
>
>I should think not!!
>But, Little Jerry did.
>
>
Shoot I wouldnt go near that straight line with a ten foot pole
:-)
It Shrinks...???
Just Me, Lisa.
Leg...@aol.com
* * * * * * * "Get the honey!" --- Fatso
Bobo
Uromisotisis?
ALLYN SCHEINKMAN
When Jerry accidently killed Mrs. Rhode Island's birds by dropping water
off the balcony.
Where Jerry and newman almost kill Ramone by not giving him mouth to
mouth at the pool.
Kramer's illegal gambling at the airport with the texan on airplane
fights.
Jerry's reckless driving: the episode where he was clocked at 95 mph and
uses his girlfriend as decoy for the officer to get out of a speeding
ticket.
George lying on his resume (this was evident in the mentor episode).
Dave
In <5rh7in$78v$1...@newsd-112.bryant.webtv.net>, SCH...@webtv.net (ALLYN SCHEINKMAN) writes:
>When Jerry accidently killed Mrs. Rhode Island's birds by dropping water
>off the balcony.
Was this a crime? If you unintentionally kill someone's pet, can you
be prosecuted? Will the Barrister/Solicitor please step forward?
>
>Where Jerry and newman almost kill Ramone by not giving him mouth to
>mouth at the pool.
I'm not sure that's a crime either. Tragic, but not criminal.
>
>Kramer's illegal gambling at the airport with the texan on airplane
>fights.
Yup. I suppose that's illegal. And it gives me a chance to mention that
Earl Hafler is one of the best secondary characters on the show.
(O'Neal Compton, you are a genius!)
>
>Jerry's reckless driving: the episode where he was clocked at 95 mph and
>uses his girlfriend as decoy for the officer to get out of a speeding
>ticket.
Yeah. Speeding, definitely illegal.
>
>George lying on his resume (this was evident in the mentor episode).
Good one. This prompted a discussion. I think it's only a crime if you
misrepresent yourself as a professional, like a doctor or engineer.
I don't recall specifically what George lied about, but it may or may not
be a crime.
Peter McLie
Let's not forget when Newman released all those dinosaurs in the park
and when he shot that horse in the Dean's office.
----------------
"First prize is.. a Cadillac Eldorado. Anyone want
to see second prize? Second prize is a set of
steak knives. Third prize is... you're fired."
-- Charles Montgomery Burns
5F06 "Realty Bites"
MRLevin007
>George stole something from a drug store to get even with the cashier for
>short changing him I think. It was something that Jerry wanted but
>couldn't afford-- I think it was some sort of pain killer or something.
>
>
George tried to steal cold medicine (like a cough syrup or something)
because it cost $10 and the store had formerlly gypped George out of some
money.
Mike
Andy MacAskill
Peter McLie wrote:
>
> Let's not forget when Newman released all those dinosaurs in the park
> and when he shot that horse in the Dean's office.
>
(The part of "Flounder," who "shot" the horse, was played by Stephen
Furst.) Tho' yes (and how many times will we see this thread): that was
Newman in JURASSIC PARK playing "Nedry."
Hans Hilbert
jerry stole the loaf of bread from the old lady!
Hans
Kevin Brooks
Kevin Brooks
Kevin Brooks
Dave
In <19970729162140113573@[10.1.6.41]>, kev...@exploremaine.com (Kevin Brooks) writes:
>shelby <tra...@dialnet.net> wrote:
>
>> > The best "crime" on Seinfeld was when Jerry and George both get caught in
>> > the act of public urination. And the excuses --- "..have a public
>> > urination license..
>> >
>> > Also, what was the name of the "disease" that Jerry supposedly had?
>> >
>> > Marc
>>
>>
>> i think it was uromysiticis(sp?)
>
l...@adan.kingston.net
In article <33DDEA...@worldnet.att.net>,
Newman also looked up Sharon Stone's dress in "Basic Instinct".
He is pure evil!!!!
-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
Kevin Brooks
shelby <tra...@dialnet.net> wrote:
> > The best "crime" on Seinfeld was when Jerry and George both get caught in
> > the act of public urination. And the excuses --- "..have a public
> > urination license..
> >
> > Also, what was the name of the "disease" that Jerry supposedly had?
> >
> > Marc
>
>
> i think it was uromysiticis(sp?)
yep, that ep was on last night. :)
John ''SNAP!!!MAN'' Thorpe
l...@adan.kingston.net wrote:
>
> Newman also looked up Sharon Stone's dress in "Basic Instinct".
> He is pure evil!!!!
No. Pure evil would be looking up Janet Reno's dress.
--
John, A.K.A.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ddu...@inwave.com
how bout the time jerry urinated in a parking lot and said he had some
kind of pass where he could urinate where ever he wanted too. and his
little brother stole it from him and they were "probably urinating all
over the city" or something like that
** Luke **
ACTUALLY, Kramer DID indulge in some cock fighting! Remember at the end
of the episode he saved lil Jerry from the monster it was fighting
against, he dived in and saved lil Jerry! Then the other one attacked
Kramer so he actually was involved in cock fighting!!!
Luke
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1935
ICQ: 127919
On 25 Jul 1997, Dave wrote:
> In <01bc989b$437ab7c0$6830...@daisy.ssd.neca.nec.com.au>, "ari" <ar...@ssd.neca.nec.com.au> writes:
>
> >Didn't Kramer induldge in some cock fighting at some stage?
> >
>
> I should think not!!
> But, Little Jerry did.
>
Dave
In <Pine.OSF.3.95.970805...@redgum.bendigo.latrobe.edu.au>, ** Luke ** <j687...@redgum.bendigo.latrobe.edu.au> writes:
>
>ACTUALLY, Kramer DID indulge in some cock fighting! Remember at the end
>of the episode he saved lil Jerry from the monster it was fighting
>against, he dived in and saved lil Jerry! Then the other one attacked
>Kramer so he actually was involved in cock fighting!!!
>
dronek
Jonathan <jo...@pipeline.com> wrote in article
<5r0mb1$2...@camel1.mindspring.com>...
> m...@iglou.com (Michael L. Lerner) wrote:
>
> >Gail Thaler <scri...@best.com> wrote:
>
> >>> >*** Stealing cable signal
> >>> Newman was squirrelling away mail instead of delivering it in
> >>> one episode, which is a violation of Federal law.
> >>Kramer, Newman and Eleane: dognapping
> >>Jerry mugged that old lady to get the last marble cake
>
> >Jerry and Kramer making videos of first run movies in the theater.
> >Newman being the scofflaw...
> >Didn't Jerry get arrested for prostitution in one episode?
> >And Kramer got arrested for being a pimp.
>
> >Mike
>
> Don't forget PUBLIC URINATION!
Dont forget Jerry killed that guy in hospital with his 'routine'. The guy
laughed so much he died.