Movies in Seinfeld that really don't exist
Gary Russel /ADVISOR L. FAUSETT
"The Pool Guy" was a bonanaza of ersatz movies: BROWN-EYED GIRL,
FIRESTORM, MOUNTAIN HIGH (starring Kevin Bacon and Susan
Sarandon -- inspired by THE RIVER WILD?), and CHUNNEL.
But I didn't catch the title of the movie Elaine asked
Kramer (555-FILK) about.
The Paragon had a poster for FORGET PARIS and, I believe,
BEYOND RANGOON.
GR
Aaron Zober
Gary Russel /ADVISOR L. FAUSETT wrote:
>
> "The Pool Guy" was a bonanaza of ersatz movies: BROWN-EYED GIRL,
> FIRESTORM, MOUNTAIN HIGH (starring Kevin Bacon and Susan
> Sarandon -- inspired by THE RIVER WILD?), and CHUNNEL.
> But I didn't catch the title of the movie Elaine asked
> Kramer (555-FILK) about.
>
I don't know what film Elaine called Kramer about either, but I know that
Seinfeld has been using fake movie titles for a while. Anyone remember
CHOW FUN, ROCHELLE,ROCHELLE, and PROGNOSIS NEGATIVE.
Aaron Zober
Kathy
CHOW FUN is not a film's title. I think it was a Chinese dish George
was trying to order for delivery. a broad noodle, he explained to
Kramer when he asked about it.
David Marsh
Lee Salem wrote:
>
> Don't forget "Ponce De Leon," the movie they saw instead of "Prognosis
> Negative" the first time they went and it was sold out.
"Rochelle Rochelle, A Young Woman's Erotic Journey from Milan to Minsk."
(I think that's the title.)
First a movie they unintentionally end up watching, later the Bette
Midler (and her Tonya Harding-esque stand-in) Broadway musical.
Marcie Wolf-Hubbard
Aaron,
Prognosis Negative is a real move. It's an old one, I saw it maybe
25 yrs ago on tv. (b/w) Anyway, it was a good movie, something
about a woman who had a terminal illness, or you found it out at
the end, "...Prognosis Negative" (was the last line in the movie.)
I don't remember the specifics, but it was good, made an impression
on me and I was young (maybe 9?) and I'd like to see it again.
you wrote:
>Seinfeld has been using fake movie titles for a while. Anyone
remember
>CHOW FUN, ROCHELLE,ROCHELLE, and PROGNOSIS NEGATIVE.
marcie
Jon Ames
>"Rochelle Rochelle, A Young Woman's Erotic Journey from Milan to
Minsk."
>(I think that's the title.)
>First a movie they unintentionally end up watching, later the Bette
>Midler (and her Tonya Harding-esque stand-in) Broadway musical.
The play was "Rochelle, Rochelle: The Musical"
Lee Salem
mike stone
In article <4sqt8q$j...@news-e2c.gnn.com>, wol...@gnn.com says...
Lee Salem
"Why don't you just TELL me where you want to see the movie?"
robbin vester bishop
Actually...you're both right. Chow Fung was the "broad noodle" dish that
George wanted. However, Chow Fung was also the name of the movie Elaine
asked Kramer about on the Movie Phone...
> Kathy <ckc...@inforamp.net> wrote in article
<31F012...@inforamp.net>...
> Aaron Zober wrote:
> >
> > Gary Russel /ADVISOR L. FAUSETT wrote:
> > >
> > > "The Pool Guy" was a bonanaza of ersatz movies: BROWN-EYED GIRL,
> > > FIRESTORM, MOUNTAIN HIGH (starring Kevin Bacon and Susan
> > > Sarandon -- inspired by THE RIVER WILD?), and CHUNNEL.
> > > But I didn't catch the title of the movie Elaine asked
> > > Kramer (555-FILK) about.
> > >
> >
> > I don't know what film Elaine called Kramer about either, but I know
that
> > Seinfeld has been using fake movie titles for a while. Anyone
remember
> > CHOW FUN, ROCHELLE,ROCHELLE, and PROGNOSIS NEGATIVE.
> >
Corey Weir
On Fri, 19 Jul 1996, Gary Russel /ADVISOR L. FAUSETT wrote:
> "The Pool Guy" was a bonanaza of ersatz movies: BROWN-EYED GIRL,
> FIRESTORM, MOUNTAIN HIGH (starring Kevin Bacon and Susan
> Sarandon -- inspired by THE RIVER WILD?), and CHUNNEL.
> But I didn't catch the title of the movie Elaine asked
> Kramer (555-FILK) about.
> The Paragon had a poster for FORGET PARIS and, I believe,
> BEYOND RANGOON.
Don't forget such classics as 'Agent Zero' and, from another episode,
'Prognosis: Negative'.
Until...
Corey
***** Corey Weir (cw...@europa.cs.mun.ca) Psychology/Philosophy at MUN *****
* "Seems to me that the basic difference between men and women, sexually, *
* is that men are like firemen. To us, sex is an emergency and no matter *
* what we're doing, we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other *
* hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to *
* be exactly right for it to occur." -Jerry Seinfeld *
JoshyR
If you look closely, whenever they go to a movie theater, the posters in the
background are for Castle Rock Movies (such as "Year of the Comet"), the same
production company that makes Seinfeld. Also, Champagne Video, the video store
that George visits, really does exist in NYC. Finally, although Jerry's video
collection surprisingly includes titles from other studios (like Disney and
Paramount), Newman's stack of videos briefly seen in the episode with the golf
clubs this yr. were all Castle Rock/New Line video releases...
--JLR
KP
In article <01bb775c.ca4c1160$44c9...@ivoryjas.execpc.com>, "robbin vester bishop" <ivor...@execpc.com> says:
>
>Actually...you're both right. Chow Fung was the "broad noodle" dish that
>George wanted. However, Chow Fung was also the name of the movie Elaine
>asked Kramer about on the Movie Phone...
Are you certain? I watched this one fairly recently and I thought the
movie title Elaine asked about was called "Chunnel," which was the film
her, Jerry and Susan went to see. If you listen closely to the dialogue
of the film playing in the background, they seem to be talking about the
"tunnel" which runs under the English "channel" - hence "Chunnel."
That's my take anyway. :)
KP
L.B. Peep
Gary Russel /ADVISOR L. FAUSETT wrote:
: "The Pool Guy" was a bonanaza of ersatz movies: BROWN-EYED GIRL,
: FIRESTORM, MOUNTAIN HIGH (starring Kevin Bacon and Susan
: Sarandon -- inspired by THE RIVER WILD?), and CHUNNEL.
: Kramer (555-FILK) about.
Aaron Zober wrote:
: I don't know what film Elaine called Kramer about either, but I know that
: Seinfeld has been using fake movie titles for a while. Anyone remember
: CHOW FUN, ROCHELLE,ROCHELLE, and PROGNOSIS NEGATIVE.
Kathy <ckc...@inforamp.netwrote in article
: CHOW FUN is not a film's title. I think it was a Chinese dish George
: was trying to order for delivery. a broad noodle, he explained to
: Kramer when he asked about it.
robbin vester bishop (ivor...@execpc.com) wrote:
: Actually...you're both right. Chow Fung was the "broad noodle" dish that
: George wanted. However, Chow Fung was also the name of the movie Elaine
: asked Kramer about on the Movie Phone...
I thought the movie Elaine called Kramer about was Chunnel. That was
the movie she and Jerry and Susan went to see that night. It was
playing in two theaters -- one at nine o'clock and one at nine-thirty.
--
LBP...@netcom.com This .signature intentionally left boring. O-
call...@gnn.com
In article <DusnI...@zeno.fit.edu> Gary Russel /ADVISOR L. FAUSETT wrote:
>"The Pool Guy" was a bonanaza of ersatz movies: BROWN-EYED GIRL,
>FIRESTORM, MOUNTAIN HIGH (starring Kevin Bacon and Susan
>Sarandon -- inspired by THE RIVER WILD?), and CHUNNEL.
>But I didn't catch the title of the movie Elaine asked
>Kramer (555-FILK) about.
>
>The Paragon had a poster for FORGET PARIS and, I believe,
>BEYOND RANGOON.
When I saw five messages about movies here, I didn't think I would have
anything to add, but everyone left out the movie that they WANTED to see, but
ended up seeing Rochelle Rochelle.....
Checkmate!
I didn't see it, but Forget Paris was a real movie, right? Was Beyond
Rangoon a real movie also?
Steve
See below...
HOT HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP!!!
"OVER 6,400 SUBSCRIBERS AND GROWING!!!!"
Rated Top 5% by Point Survey
Three Stars from Internet Underground Magazine
[Composite Sample Issue]
HOT GOSSIP about Heather Locklear... Gillian Anderson...
Kelsey Grammar... Princess Di... Seinfeld... George Clooney...
Tiffany Amber-Thiessen... Jennie Garth... Teri Hatcher... OJ Simpson...
Madonna... Courteney Cox....
HEATHER LOCKLEAR “does her own bikini waxing” and will
sometimes even “wax a friend”.(Star)
Thoughts:
1) Waxing her bikini? Who cares? When she goes to the
beach, do you really think Heather looks down, and goes, “Oh!
My bathing suit is totally unshiny!”
2) Waxing her friends?
Guys, lined up outside her estate: “Heather! HEATHER! Wax
me, wax me!”
COURTENEY COX has a psychic named SHOOSHAN,
who told her her to break up with MICHAEL KEATON,
and COURTENEY OBEYED!!! (Examiner).
Thoughts:
1) What else could the psychic get Courteney to do? Rather than leave it
to
the imagination, we've compiled a purely hypothetical list:
*********************************************
THINGS THAT SHOOSHAN CAN GET COURTENEY TO DO
A) Dress up like a chicken
"It will get you a part in the next Ace Venture movie."
B) Give all her money to SHOOSHAN
"I will manage it well for you."
C) Have her send Michael Keaton to SHOOSHAN "The stars say he
was meant for me; but not to worry, you will find someone as well."
D) Ask the producers of FRIENDS to replace her with SHOOSHAN.
"You need a movie career right now, FRIENDS is just dragging you down."
At one time, John F. Kennedy Jr. arrived home after a hard day of...
whatever he does, to find MADONNA wrapped in NOTHING but plastic
wrap.(Star)
Thoughts:
1) If he put her in the fridge for later, would Madonna
spoil?
2) Do you think JFK Jr has a kitchen cabinet where he
keeps all his admiring women for later snacks?
YOUNG WOMEN camp out on OJ SIMPSON's lawn until
they get invited inside.(Enquirer )
Thoughts:
1) I express no astonishment that young women everywhere
want to flock to OJ's house to make out with the superstar.
Instead, I wonder about the mechanics: Do they just go up to
his house, ring the doorbell, and say, "We're available?"
2) Do you suppose that OJ's house is like a foreign embassy,
with a long line of women snaking around the block, all
waiting for entry visas?
3) Do you suppose that OJ has a hunchback deaf-mute butler
answer the door while OJ views the visitor from the window,
giving a thumbs up or thumbs down?
TERI HATCHER says that she will show the world
that she is in such good shape after the have seen her strip
NUDE in a new movie.(Star)
Thoughts:
1) Such good shape... do you think Teri will be
in such good shape that they will show her new
film to inmates at the Anorexia Institute?
KELSEY "Frasier" GRAMMAR's girlfriend TAMMI
ALEXANDER broke up with him for fooling around. Kelsey’s
defense, "They're just babes, they know you're the real love of
my life."(Star)
1) The article also said that Kelsey invited Tammi to go with
him to strip clubs. Do you think Kelsey would say, "Maybe we
can pick up something on the way home that we'll both like."
PRINCESS DI regularly goes to a clinic where she gets a foot
massage to relieve nervous tension.(Star)
Thoughts:
1) Her feet are nervous?
2) Is Di nervous about working hard at her job, or whether
she'll have enough millions to support her family? Or does her
nerves center around more important questions, such as "What
shall I have for lunch?" and "Should I take these two designer
dresses, or all of them?"
SEINFELD uses MEDICINE to GROW his HAIR.(Globe)
Thoughts:
1) Just one. How does he explain it to his YOUNG girlfriend
SHOSHANNA?
Sho: "Jerry, what is that smelly pink goo you've got in your
hair?"
Seinfeld: "It's a new sort of shampoo. It, uh, gets rids of
dandruff."
2) Do you suppose if there were a machine that could
ELECTRICALLY stimulate hair that Seinfeld would stick his
head into it? How would he explain it to Shoshanna?
Sho: "Jerry, why do you stick your head into that machine? It
looks like a huge electrical socket!"
Jerry: "Yes, it sends an electrical current through which...
stimulates my mind. It helps me think of jokes for the show,
actually."
X-Files Gillian Anderson, whose first boyfriend was a Neo-Nazi,
said, "I felt if somebody liked me, I was supposed
to sleep with them."(Globe)
Thoughts:
[Gillian sitting around piles of fan mail, two weeks after this is
published]
"Dear Gillian, I really like you."
[opens next letter]
"Dear Gillian, I really like you."
[opens next letter]
"Dear Gillian, I really like you."
Gillian looks around. "Jill? I can't weed out all these letters!
Listen, can you go through them and just save the Nazi ones?"
GEORGE CLOONEY was HYPNOTIZED to prepare himself
to wear a mask in the next Batman movie.(Globe)
Thoughts:
1) Is that REALLY why they hypnotized him? I think they
hypnotized him to BELIEVE he REALLY IS Batman.
FIVE TOP SIGNS THAT GEORGE CLOONEY HAS BEEN
HYPNOTIZED TO REALLY BELIEVE THAT HE IS, IN
FACT, BATMAN:
1) He refers to the male nurse on ER as"Robin".
2) He propells down clotheslines.
3) He refers to his movie trailer as "The Bat Cave."
4) He hangs upside down on a coat rack.
5) He goes to a pet store to buy food for Cat Woman.
Beverly Hills 90210's Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, who used to go
out with Brian Austin Green, was seen SMOOCHING with
Jennie Garth.(Star)
Thoughts:
1) For those of you who don't watch the show, Brian plays a
wimpy sensitive guy who shaves most of his head and wears
large hoop earrings. Do you think Brian turned Tiffani off to
men?
2) If Tiffani gets hot for women, will Tori Spelling be safe? Or
Brandon's mom?
3) Do you think Shannen Dougherty left the show because
Jennie Garth was coming on to her?
************************************************
Would you like to see more
HOT HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP? Do as over 6,400 people
in 49 countries do and subscribe!
************************************************
REAL Comments from REAL Subscribers:
b...@juno.com said, "Your last issue was one of best. Cracked me up!"
Kelly...@aol.com says: "I want, no, I NEED Hot Hollywood Gossip!"
tahu...@tpnet.co.nz (90.5 Tahu FM) says: "Hey there! We're a small
Radio Station in little 'ole Christchurch, New Zealand, and we
LOVE!!!!!!!
what we've been reading!
*************************************************
HHG has received THREE STARS from Internet Underground magazine
and rated in the TOP 5% of the POINT SURVEY.
*******************************************
Subscribe now!
1) IT'S FREE! You will NEVER be asked for money
2) You can cancel at any time!
3) Your e-mail address will be kept private.
4) What have you got to lose? Do as 6,400 people have done and
Sign up now!
Write to edit...@worldnet.att.net
and write "Subscribe Gossip" along with your e-mail
address. (Please type it out, very important! :-)
********************************************
Gary Russel /ADVISOR L. FAUSETT
In article <4sqt8q$j...@news-e2c.gnn.com> wol...@gnn.com (Marcie Wolf-Hubbard) writes:
>Aaron,
>Prognosis Negative is a real move. It's an old one, I saw it maybe
>25 yrs ago on tv. (b/w) Anyway, it was a good movie, something
>about a woman who had a terminal illness, or you found it out at
>the end, "...Prognosis Negative" (was the last line in the movie.)
>I don't remember the specifics, but it was good, made an impression
>on me and I was young (maybe 9?) and I'd like to see it again.
>you wrote:
>
>remember
>>CHOW FUN, ROCHELLE,ROCHELLE, and PROGNOSIS NEGATIVE.
>
>
How could PROGNOSIS NEGATIVE still be showing in a theatre?
It's not famous enough to have a revival.
I still don't think it's real; I'm looking it up in the
Leonard Maltin book.
Was CHOW FUN the movie Elaine called 555-FILK (Kramer) about?
GR
Lori Carter
My personal favortie is "The Muted Heart"
Robbin or Gary
:
> robbin vester bishop (ivor...@execpc.com) wrote:
> : Actually...you're both right. Chow Fung was the "broad noodle" dish
that
> : George wanted. However, Chow Fung was also the name of the movie
Elaine
> : asked Kramer about on the Movie Phone...
>
> I thought the movie Elaine called Kramer about was Chunnel. That was
> the movie she and Jerry and Susan went to see that night. It was
> playing in two theaters -- one at nine o'clock and one at nine-thirty.
George was the one who asked Kramer about Chunnel.
Simon C Russell
>There was one episode shortly after George got engaged. The "guys"
>wanted to go see some action movie (I wish I could remember the name).
>But George was forced to see a "girl" movie they called "The Muted
>Heart". I thought it was a great made up name for what was clearly
>supposed to be a "girl" movie. Does anyone remember the name of the
>"guy" movie.
>
>Howard
>
>
>
.......................................................................
.......................................................................
I think it was "Firestorm" starring Harrison Ford, and there's
supposed to be one scene where a helicopter lands on car or something.
(the episode was "The Rye", I think)
-Simonfeld
Matt Brechner
On Jul 28, 1996 19:14:12 in article <Re: Movies in Seinfeld that really
don't exist>, '"Robbin or Gary" <ivor...@execpc.com>' wrote:
>> robbin vester bishop (ivor...@execpc.com) wrote:
>> the movie she and Jerry and Susan went to see that night. It was
>> playing in two theaters -- one at nine o'clock and one at nine-thirty.
>
>George was the one who asked Kramer about Chunnel.
Wasn't it "Rachelle, Rachelle", not "Chunnel" that was playing in one of
those two theaters?
Matt Brechner
b059...@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us
kung...@usa.pipeline.com
afn4...@afn.org
"Curiosity killed the cat, but at least he died knowing something."
- Walter
Smith
__ __ __ __ \_
|_| /_\ \_/ | \ |_ |\ / /_
| \ / \ | |_/ |__ / \/ / (on irc)
Howard Schrott
r...@bslnet.com (Richard) wrote:
>wol...@gnn.com (Marcie Wolf-Hubbard) wrote:
>>Aaron,
>>Prognosis Negative is a real move. It's an old one, I saw it maybe
>>25 yrs ago on tv. (b/w) Anyway, it was a good movie, something
>>about a woman who had a terminal illness, or you found it out at
>>the end, "...Prognosis Negative" (was the last line in the movie.)
>>I don't remember the specifics, but it was good, made an impression
>>on me and I was young (maybe 9?) and I'd like to see it again.
>>you wrote:
>>>Seinfeld has been using fake movie titles for a while. Anyone
>>remember
>>>CHOW FUN, ROCHELLE,ROCHELLE, and PROGNOSIS NEGATIVE.
>how about Ponce DeLeon the movie they went to see instead of
>Prognosis Neg.
>>marcie
JCooper491
I think the title of the movie the guys were going to see was "
Firestorm" with Harrison Ford.
Cooper
THE MOCK FROG
I want to see PROGNOSIS NEGATIVE!
or even ROCHELLE ROCHELLE
MATTHEW
:)
Ted Weiman
Geez, how many times did George see Rochelle, Rochelle - He saw it in
the theater, rented it - I mean, why would George want to see the
story of a young girls erotic journey from Moscow to Minsk?
--Ted Weiman
Shannon T. Nutt
> lwe...@neosoft.com (Ted Weiman) wrote in article
<4v1ed2$i...@uuneo.neosoft.com>...
And let's not forget the musical version of Rochelle Rochelle staring
Bette Midler ("The Understudy" episode)!
Brant
Ted Weiman wrote:
>
> Geez, how many times did George see Rochelle, Rochelle - He saw it in
> the theater, rented it - I mean, why would George want to see the
> story of a young girls erotic journey from Moscow to Minsk?
>
> --Ted Weiman
You mean from Milan to Minsk.
brant
...
BLo
lwe...@neosoft.com (Ted Weiman) writes:
Geez, how many times did George see Rochelle, Rochelle - He saw it in
the theater, rented it
Don't forget the musical.
I mean, why would George want to see the
story of a young girls erotic journey from Moscow to Minsk?
"from Milan to Minsk".
Lee Salem
Speaking of "Rochelle Rochelle," I was on a plane recently thumbing
through an issue of "The Economist," the high-toned English financial
magazine and was reading a piece on why Texans are a lot less concerned
about illegal immigration than Californians.
One of the reasons, the author stated, is that the Texas/Mexico border is
six times longer than the California/Mexico border, "approximately the
distance one would travel from Milan to Minsk."
Boy, "Seinfeld" references turn up in the strangest places!